In this episode of the "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" podcast, the host discusses the case study of a couple who face challenges in communicating openly about finances and managing their spending. Despite a substantial net worth, the couple's financial habits, driven by a desire to provide opportunities for their son, result in significant debt and minimal savings.
The conversation explores the dynamics of the couple's relationship, where one partner avoids financial discussions due to past negative experiences, while the other feels burdened by managing their finances alone. The host delves into the role of wealth - whether acquired through diligent saving or luck - in shaping the couple's attitudes towards money management and long-term financial planning.
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Olivia and Alexis struggle to communicate about finances, with Olivia wanting open discussions, but Alexis avoiding the topic due to discomfort and past negative experiences, as she describes feeling "financially exploited" by former partners. Alexis has kept financial activities secret from Olivia for over 17 years, only recently disclosing an undisclosed bank account and credit cards. Olivia feels alone managing their finances, while Alexis' avoidance stems from insecurities and lack of confidence.
Olivia and Alexis spend lavishly, allocating $2,500 monthly for their son's private school and tutoring, $800 on his activities, $1,000 on dining out, and $800 on entertainment. Their fixed costs consume 88% of their $17,000 monthly income, leaving little for savings or investments. They make impulsive purchases driven by a desire to provide their son every opportunity, rather than aligning spending with goals. Their financial advisor, Ramit Sethi, notes they live like they earn $500,000 annually despite making $204,000.
Most of Olivia and Alexis' $3.1 million net worth resulted from luck rather than diligent saving. Alexis' $1.2 million 401k grew largely from Costco stock gains ($985,000) rather than contributions. Olivia received a $736,000 inheritance covering their overspending. Sethi observes their "lucky" wealth has bred complacency in financial skills and intentional management of resources to meet long-term goals.
1-Page Summary
Olivia and Alexis face significant communication hurdles when it comes to discussing their finances, with their different approaches leading to a sense of isolation and frustration within their relationship.
Olivia wants to frequently discuss and plan their finances, aspiring to hold a "money meeting" once a month. However, Alexis often avoids or shuts down these discussions, preferring to bury her head in the sand regarding financial matters. Olivia feels alone and frustrated by Alexis' reluctance, as she finds herself eager to talk about money, but Alexis does not want to engage.
Alexis not only avoids these discussions but has also kept certain financial activities secretive, such as her paycheck going into a separate account and possessing undisclosed credit cards. This behavior stems from a deep discomfort around money talks, especially with Olivia, who she perceives as a "spreadsheet person."
Olivia feels the burden of managing or thinking about finances solely rests on her. She attempts to involve Alexis by bringing a journal to dinner, hoping to progress their financial understanding, but admits to not being receptive in past attempts of discussing their finances. Despite Olivia's attempts, Alexis admits to avoiding financial discussions due to a dynamic of inequality rooted in earnings and the associated judgment that comes with financial decisions.
Olivia and Alexis's divergent approaches to money are punctuated by a deep-seated protectiveness that Alexis harbors over her finances. Alexis recounts past experiences of feeling financially exploited, which has led to her secretive behavior. Her formative years involved supporting her family and dealing with partners who spent excessively without consideration for shared financial responsibility. These experiences have left Alexis feeling secretive and protective; she only recently disclosed her secret bank account and credit card to Olivia.
Despite this, Alexis acknowledges the importance of the podcast opportunity to help address these issues and is open to change. She invites Olivia to challenge her if she reverts to her old habits of avoidance. This recognition of the podcast's potential indicates that discussing finances has been a substantial issue for both of them, and the podcast represents a chance to address it.
Communication and relationship dynamics around money
Olivia and Alexis are facing a financial conundrum due to their high-spending lifestyle that significantly exceeds their monthly income of $17,000. Their fixed costs, along with their discretionary spending, leave them with little room for savings and investments, which is concerning given their substantial net worth of $3.1 million.
Olivia and Alexis allocate significant funds toward their son's education and extracurricular activities. They are spending $2,500 per month on private school and tutoring and an additional $800 per month on various activities. Additionally, they spend around $1,000 per month on eating out and $800 per month on miscellaneous activities such as Topgolf. Their decision to send their son to a private school and sleepaway camp costing $10,000, coupled with a school fee of $30,000, reflects their aspiration to provide the very best experiences for their child. These expenses are influenced by their own aspirations as well as concerns about safety and well-being.
Despite a high income and significant net worth, Olivia and Alexis find themselves losing money each month due to their spending habits. Their fixed costs alone account for 88% of their monthly income, which only leaves 13% for savings and absolutely nothing for investments. This imbalance is evident as they have been carrying credit card debt for years without adjusting to income fluctuations.
Olivia and Alexis are confronted with their excessive spending when their financial advisor, Ramit Sethi, points out that they live as though they are making $500,000 a year, despite actually earning $204,000. They lack discipline in spending and often indulge in impulsive purchases. For example, they spend $800 per month on "random stuff" and have multiple entertainment streaming subscriptions, even planning to budget $1,000 per month for renovations. They are not strategic about their costs, and as Sethi sugg ...
Spending habits and lifestyle
The case of Olivia and Alexis serves as a compelling illustration of how significant wealth can often be attributed to fortunate circumstances rather than strictly disciplined financial habits and deliberate planning.
It is evident that luck has played a substantial role in the accumulation of Olivia and Alexis' wealth.
Alexis' 401k, containing $1.2 million, saw remarkable growth largely due to the increase in value of Costco stock. While Alexis contributed around $10 to $11 thousand per year, with the employer's contributions being accounted for as well, the overwhelming growth of the account—$985,000 of the total $1.2 million—came from stock gains rather than these contributions.
Olivia's financial situation was greatly impacted by the inheritance from her deceased mother, amounting to approximately $736,000. This inheritance has been critical in covering the couple's overspending of $30,000 to $40,000 more than their annual income.
Despite their substantial net worth, Olivia and Alexis lack the financial acumen necessary for proactive management of their funds.
Sources of wealth (luck vs. diligent saving)
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