How to Speak Clearly & With Confidence | Matt Abrahams
In this episode of the Huberman Lab, communication expert Matt Abrahams joins Andrew Huberman to explore the science of effective speaking and communication anxiety. The discussion examines how our evolutionary past influences speaking-related stress, and presents practical methods for managing physical symptoms of anxiety, including specific breathing techniques and temperature regulation strategies.
The conversation delves into frameworks for structuring information effectively and building authentic communication styles. Abrahams shares insights on crafting memorable messages, engaging with different personality types, and adapting to various cultural contexts. The episode covers how both introverted and extroverted individuals can develop their communication abilities, with particular attention to active listening skills and audience engagement techniques.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Nov 17, 2025 episode of the Huberman Lab
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1-Page Summary
Overcoming Fears and Anxiety Around Communication
Understanding Communication Anxiety
Matt Abrahams explains that our fear of public speaking is deeply rooted in evolution, where status within a group determined access to resources and reproduction. To manage the physical symptoms of this anxiety, such as increased heart rate and sweating, Abrahams suggests cooling down before speaking, as our hands serve as thermoregulators.
The experts discuss several techniques for managing anxiety, including deep breathing exercises and engaging in activities like tongue twisters to stay present. Huberman and Abrahams both emphasize the effectiveness of extended exhalation breathing techniques, while virtual reality tools are mentioned as a way to practice presentations in a low-stakes environment.
Developing an Authentic and Engaging Communication Style
Huberman reminds listeners that being introverted doesn't mean being shy, and quiet communicators can be particularly effective when they choose to speak. Both hosts emphasize that authenticity is more impactful than credentials, and understanding one's personal values is key to developing a genuine communication style.
For making messages memorable, Abrahams suggests acting like a tour guide, providing clear direction in narratives. He points to successful communicators like JFK, Martin Luther King, and Steve Jobs, who used vivid details, repetition, and alliteration to create lasting impact.
Practical Techniques for More Effective Communication
Abrahams introduces the problem-solution-benefit framework as a powerful way to structure information for better audience retention. He emphasizes the importance of understanding cultural context, including organizational and generational differences, when tailoring communication styles.
For engaging with reserved individuals, Abrahams recommends leading with questions and using prompts like "tell me more" to encourage discussion. The experts stress the importance of active listening and suggest having preliminary conversations before important communications to better understand and connect with the audience.
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Counterarguments
- While evolutionary pressures may contribute to fear of public speaking, it's also important to consider individual psychological factors and personal experiences that can influence anxiety levels.
- Cooling down the body to manage anxiety symptoms might not be practical or sufficient for everyone; some individuals may require more comprehensive strategies to address their anxiety.
- Deep breathing and extended exhalation techniques are helpful, but they may not work for everyone, and some individuals might find other methods, such as mindfulness or cognitive-behavioral strategies, more effective.
- Activities like tongue twisters may help some people stay present, but others might find them distracting or unhelpful in managing anxiety.
- Virtual reality tools can be beneficial for practice, but they may not fully replicate the stressors of real-life public speaking situations, and reliance on them could potentially lead to a lack of adaptability in unplanned or spontaneous speaking scenarios.
- The assertion that introverts can be effective communicators when they choose to speak might overlook the fact that introverts can also face unique challenges in communication that require different strategies than those used by extroverts.
- Authenticity is important, but it's also necessary to consider that some situations may require a level of professionalism or formality that might constrain the expression of personal values or authentic style.
- Using techniques like vivid details, repetition, and alliteration can enhance memorability, but overuse or inappropriate use of these techniques can also lead to a lack of substance or clarity in communication.
- The problem-solution-benefit framework is a useful structure, but it may not be suitable for all types of communication, and some contexts might require different approaches to effectively convey information.
- Cultural context is important, but there's also a risk of overgeneralizing or stereotyping when tailoring communication to perceived cultural norms.
- Leading with questions to engage reserved individuals is a good approach, but it's also important to respect their communication preferences and comfort levels, as some may find too many questions intrusive or overwhelming.
- Active listening is crucial, but it's also important to balance listening with effective speaking and ensure that communication is a two-way exchange.
- Preliminary conversations can aid understanding, but they might not always be possible or appropriate, and communicators should be prepared to adapt to situations where they have limited prior engagement with the audience.
Actionables
- You can use a wearable hand cooler during speeches to regulate your body temperature and reduce anxiety. Wear a device that cools your wrists or palms before and during a presentation to help manage physical symptoms of anxiety, leveraging the thermoregulatory properties of your hands.
- Develop a personal communication manifesto by reflecting on your values and writing down how they translate into your speaking style. This exercise will help you stay true to yourself when communicating and ensure your authenticity shines through. For example, if one of your values is transparency, you might commit to always sharing the reasoning behind your statements during a presentation.
- Create a memory hook for your audience by designing a catchphrase that incorporates alliteration and encapsulates the core message of your talk. Use this catchphrase at the beginning, middle, and end of your presentation to make your message stick. For instance, if your presentation is about sustainable living, you might use the phrase "Simple Steps for Sustainable Success" as a recurring theme.
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Overcoming Fears and Anxiety Around Communication
Experts debate the evolutionary origins of communication anxiety and discuss various strategies for managing this common fear.
Understanding the Evolutionary Basis For Communication Anxiety
Fear Of Public Speaking and Losing Status Is Rooted In Our Past When Status Ensured Access to Resources and Reproduction
Matt Abrahams explains that the anxiety surrounding public speaking is rooted in our past. Historically, status within a group has been crucial for access to resources, food, shelter, and reproductive opportunities. Doing something that jeopardized your status could have severe consequences, and this sensitivity to status risk is believed to be ingrained in our nature. Abrahams suggests that we can manage the physiological symptoms and sources of anxiety – symptoms like increased heart rate and perspiring – by cooling down before speaking, since our hands are thermoregulators.
Managing Anxiety and Being Present
Remembering that the audience is there to learn from the speaker can reduce the anxiety of the situation. To become present-oriented and counteract the fear of negative future outcomes, techniques like deep breathing, walking, having conversations, listening to a playlist, counting backwards by challenging numbers, and saying tongue twisters out loud can be employed. Tongue twisters not only help with being present but also warm up the voice before public speaking.
Non-judgment Exercises Reduce Self-Evaluation and Anxiety
Matt Abrahams talks about using an exercise from improvisation in his class where students point at objects and call them something they're not, despite it feeling challenging because of self-evaluation. This exercise, among others such as the improvisation game, helps people disrupt self-judgment and evaluation. It enables them to become more present and less anxious by letting thoughts flow freely and building confidence when speaking spontaneously. It is suggested that by setting a positive expectation for communication and envisioning the value added for the audience rather than a worst-case scenario, one can diminish the anxiety induced by self-evaluation.
Extend Exhalation to Calm the Body
Huberman and Abrahams both discuss the power of breathwork in managing anxiety. Huberman talks about the practice of yoga nidra, which involves lon ...
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Overcoming Fears and Anxiety Around Communication
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While evolutionary pressures may contribute to communication anxiety, it's also important to consider individual psychological differences and personal experiences that can shape one's fear of public speaking.
- Cooling down the body before speaking may help some individuals, but it might not be a universal solution for managing physiological symptoms of anxiety for everyone.
- The notion that the audience is there to learn can be comforting, but it may not address deeper-seated fears related to self-worth or social phobia that some individuals experience.
- Techniques like deep breathing and walking may help reduce anxiety for some, but others may find that these techniques do not significantly impact their level of fear or may even increase their focus on the anxiety.
- Tongue twisters and other present-oriented techniques might help with focus and vocal preparation, but they may not be effective for all individuals, especially those who might find such activities stressful or embarrassing.
- Non-judgment exercises can be beneficial, but they may not translate to reduced anxiety in actual public speaking situations for everyone, as the context and stakes are different.
- Positive visualization and setting positive expectations can be helpful, but they may not be sufficient for individuals with severe anxiety or those who have had negative past experiences with public speaking.
- Breathwork techniques, such as extendi ...
Actionables
- You can create a "cooling kit" to use before public speaking engagements, including items like a handheld fan, a cooling towel, and a wristband with a built-in ice pack. By having these items readily available, you can quickly lower your body temperature and potentially reduce the physiological symptoms of anxiety before taking the stage.
- Develop a "focus mantra" to recite before presentations, combining positive affirmations with sensory grounding techniques. For example, you might say, "I am calm, my voice is strong, and I feel the ground beneath my feet." This can help anchor you in the present moment and reinforce a positive mindset, making it easier to manage anxiety.
- Partner with a ...
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Developing an Authentic and Engaging Communication Style
In the quest to become better communicators, recognizing individual strengths and employing effective techniques such as storytelling and analogies can make a significant difference. Andrew Huberman and Matt Abrahams delve into methods that can help individuals of varied communication styles convey their ideas more effectively and authentically.
Identifying and Playing To Your Communication Strengths
Introverts and Quiet Communicators Use Thoughtfulness to Engage Audiences Effectively
Huberman reminds listeners that being introverted does not equate to shyness. Introverts can be "quiet but not shy," a powerful combination that, when one chooses to speak, can be profound. Understanding this personal trait allows introverted individuals to harness the effectiveness of their communication by focusing on thoughtfulness over loquaciousness. Both Huberman and Abrahams recognize that there are strengths in quieter forms of communication and that exploring various styles could uncover previously hidden strengths.
Authenticity Arises From Understanding and Communicating Your Values
Authenticity is key in establishing a unique voice. Huberman and Abrahams emphasize that authenticity and credibility can be more impactful than listing credentials. Understanding what is vital to the speaker and expressing it with conviction can make a difference. Huberman appreciates the commitment to authenticity witnessed at Stanford, where conveying one's true self is valued over contrived performances.
Making Your Message Memorable and Relatable With Storytelling and Analogies
Crafting a Narrative Arc Engages the Audience
The ability to craft a narrative that includes an arc can effectively garner and maintain the audience's attention. Huberman recollects how his colleague used a cinematic and musical analogy to explain scientific concepts, highlighting the unconventional and memorable nature of his presentation. Abrahams suggests that speakers should act like tour guides, providing a clear direction to their narrative and checking in with their audience along the way.
Use Vivid Details an ...
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Developing an Authentic and Engaging Communication Style
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Counterarguments
- While recognizing individual strengths is important, over-reliance on innate strengths without addressing weaknesses may lead to a lack of growth in other key areas of communication.
- The effectiveness of quiet, thoughtful communication may not always translate well in environments that favor or require more assertive and dynamic speaking styles.
- Authenticity is crucial, but there may be contexts where adapting one's communication style to the audience or situation is equally important for effectiveness.
- Crafting a narrative arc is beneficial, but some topics or situations may require a more straightforward or data-driven approach rather than storytelling.
- The use of vivid details and storytelling can enhance engagement, but there is a risk of oversimplifying complex issues or losing the focus on important facts.
- The emphasis on authenticity and personal values might not always align with professional settings where objectivity and detachment are required.
- The idea that authenticity and credibility have more impact than credentials could be challenged in professional fields where qualifications and expertise are paramount.
- The suggest ...
Actionables
- You can refine your storytelling skills by starting a daily journal where you write one personal story that illustrates a lesson you learned or an experience you had. This practice will help you identify patterns in your storytelling, such as your use of language and the structure of your narratives, which you can then consciously incorporate or adjust in your public speaking.
- Enhance your communication by creating a 'values map' that outlines your core beliefs and examples of how you live by them. Use this map to prepare for conversations or presentations, ensuring that your communication is consistently authentic and reflects your true self, which can resonate more deeply with your audience.
- Practice using sensory ...
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Practical Techniques and Strategies for More Effective Communication
Effective communication requires more than just speaking or writing well; it involves intention, strategy, and consideration of the audience. From structuring your message to tailor-making it for your audience, several techniques can enhance clarity and impact.
Structuring Your Message For Clarity and Impact
Abrahams and Huberman discuss the importance of preparation in crafting a clear and impactful message, with Abrahams emphasizing the importance of the thought process and crafting stage in writing. He references the idea of a "Frankendeck," where slides are haphazardly put together without a unifying story, detracting from the message's clarity and impact.
Using a Problem-Solution-Benefit Framework Aids Audience Retention
Abrahams explains that structuring information using the problem-solution-benefit framework makes it easier for audiences to process and remember messages. He equates this technique with scaffolding in education, layering information to facilitate learning. Abrahams also highlights the linear approach for educators that builds upon foundational ideas, helping with understanding, akin to the problem-solution-benefit framework.
Regain Control With Pauses, Questions, and Diversions
Techniques such as engaging the audience from the start with a provocative statement or statistic, as recommended by Abrahams, can help regain control of the conversation. He suggests using a video or activity to facilitate discussion and using movement during transitions to signal changes in topic. Techniques like improvisation can help handle spontaneous moments, while agility drills build confidence for on-the-spot communication. Additionally, Abrahams mentions using pauses and diverting questions to buy oneself time when necessary.
Tailoring Your Communication Style To Your Audience
For effective communication, it is crucial to connect with your audience by understanding their needs and the cultural context.
Understanding Cultural Context to Tailor Your Message
Abrahams emphasizes the importance of considering culture and context, including organizational, departmental, and generational differences. Know your audience in relation to your topic to avoid over-explaining or missing their expectations. Multigenerational workforces may perceive communication styles differently; older individuals may prefer a slower, more personal interaction, while younger people may expect faster, more transactional communication.
Practices such as using storytelling and linguistics to mentally involve the audience can also help tailor one’s style. Abra ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Practical Techniques and Strategies for More Effective Communication
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While the problem-solution-benefit framework can be effective, it may not be suitable for all types of communication or audiences. Some situations may require different structures, such as storytelling or circular narrative techniques, to be more engaging or appropriate.
- The emphasis on preparation and crafting might not always be practical in fast-paced environments where immediate communication is required. Sometimes, spontaneity and authenticity can be more impactful than a well-structured message.
- The use of provocative statements or statistics to engage the audience could backfire if the audience perceives them as manipulative or sensationalist, which could lead to distrust or disengagement.
- The suggestion to use videos, activities, and movement might not always be feasible or effective, depending on the context and setting of the communication. For example, in a formal business meeting, such techniques might be seen as unprofessional or distracting.
- Improvisation and agility drills may help with spontaneous communication, but they might not be suitable for individuals who are more introverted or less comfortable with such approaches. These individuals might benefit more from thorough preparation and a clear agenda.
- The advice to tailor communication to generational preferences might oversimplify complex individual differences and could inadvertently lead to stereotyping.
- Storytelling and linguistic techniques are useful, but they require skill and practice to execute effectively. Overreliance on these methods without proper execution can lead to confusion rather than clarity.
- Leading with questions to draw out less communicative individuals assumes tha ...
Actionables
- You can refine your message delivery by recording yourself giving a presentation and then watching it with the sound off to observe your body language and visual storytelling skills. This will help you see if your gestures and expressions align with the message you're trying to convey, ensuring that your non-verbal cues are as clear and impactful as your words.
- Create a personal communication guidebook by documenting the preferences and cultural nuances of the people you frequently interact with. Note their preferred communication style, any generational differences, and cultural contexts that you've observed. Refer to this guidebook before meetings or conversations to tailor your approach for more effective engagement.
- Develop a habit of starting conversations with a unique fact or insight relate ...
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