In this Huberman Lab episode, Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor and Andrew Huberman explore the neurobiology and psychology of grief. O'Connor explains the distinction between grief as an immediate reaction to loss and grieving as an ongoing adaptation process. She describes how different brain systems process loss, including the protest response and reward systems, and presents evidence about the significant physical health risks that accompany bereavement.
The conversation covers practical approaches to managing grief, from progressive muscle relaxation techniques to the value of social support systems. O'Connor and Huberman discuss how modern society often lacks structured support for those who are grieving, and examine the potential benefits of implementing a public health model for bereavement support that includes grief literacy, psychoeducation, and health monitoring for those experiencing loss.
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In this episode, Mary-Frances O'Connor and Andrew Huberman explore the complex neurobiological processes of grief. O'Connor explains that while grief is an intense reaction to loss, grieving is the ongoing process of adapting to that loss. She describes grieving as similar to stock market fluctuations, with daily variations but an overall upward trajectory toward healing.
The neurobiology of grief involves multiple brain systems. O'Connor explains that the brain's protest response triggers a refusal to accept reality, while the reward system, particularly the nucleus accumbens, activates when grieving individuals see photos of deceased loved ones. This activation correlates directly with the intensity of yearning they experience.
While grief is universal, O'Connor notes that modern society often lacks structured support systems and grief literacy. She describes grieving as an alternating process between protest (searching for what's lost) and despair (accepting the permanence of loss). The relationship with the deceased must transform internally for healthy grieving to occur, with many people finding ways to honor their loved ones while still allowing new experiences and joy in life.
O'Connor and Huberman discuss several practical approaches to managing grief. O'Connor recommends progressive muscle relaxation, which has shown better results than mindfulness in studies with widows and widowers. Huberman describes a practice similar to yoga nidra, involving self-directed relaxation and long exhale breathing, which he calls non-sleep deep rest.
The importance of social support is emphasized, including touch, eye contact, and the presence of others. Bereavement groups can help normalize the grieving process and combat isolation.
The physical impact of grief can be severe. O'Connor cites studies showing that on the day of a loved one's death, a person is 21 times more likely to have a heart attack. In the three months following a spouse's death, both men and women face nearly double the risk of fatal heart attacks.
O'Connor advocates for a public health model of bereavement support, including grief literacy, psychoeducation, and physical health monitoring. She questions why enhanced care for the bereaved isn't more common, given that insurance companies have long recognized these health risks in their actuarial tables.
1-Page Summary
Grief is an intense reaction of the brain, body, and mind to loss, and Mary-Frances O'Connor alongside Andrew Huberman delve into the complex neurobiological processes that underpin this universal human experience.
O'Connor explains that grief is the complex reaction—physical, emotional, and mental—to the death of someone close. It differs from grieving, which is an ongoing process and the adaptation to that loss over time. She likens grieving to the stock market's fluctuations; there are daily ups and downs but there's a general trajectory towards healing over time. Sudden losses, she notes, can be harder to process due to the lack of mental preparation.
Grieving is not a process that eradicates grief; instead, people learn to understand it and learn how to live with it. O'Connor describes it as a slow upward spiral, where motivation and good feelings gradually return as one begins to reengage with life. Over time, the stark focus on the painful aspects of loss can broaden into a context that fits into the larger tapestry of one's life.
O'Connor and Huberman discuss the neurobiology of grief, focusing on the protest response triggered by a loss. This response is characterized by a refusal to accept the reality, often paired with recurrent thoughts about how events could have been different. The anterior mid-singulate cortex and its network, related to tenacity and willpower, may be involved in this protest during grief.
Mary-Frances O'Connor mentions that a hallmark of grieving is yearning or wanting, which is linked to the brain's [restricted term] and reward system. Neuroimaging studies have shown increased activity in the nucleus accumbens—a part of the reward learning area—when grieving individuals are shown photos of their deceased loved ones. This activation is directly correlated with the intensity of yearning a person expressed. The conversation suggests that grief can evoke addiction-like narrow focus on the lost individual. However, unlike addiction, grief requires a transition to new forms of fulfilling attachment needs.
Huberman acknowledges that the brain's protest circuitry can create false narratives or "if only" thoughts, which are integral to the protest component of grief. These narratives can give a sense of control but can also lead to feelings of guilt as a byproduct of this protest. It is all part of the body's resilience and attempt to re-regulate in the absence of the deceased.
Grief is seen as a natural learning process, with lessons varied among individuals. Some may discover newfound strength or gratefulness for the influence of th ...
The Nature and Neurobiology of Grief
Grieving is a complex process influenced by cultural norms and personal experiences, and understanding its social and psychological dimensions can be vital for healthy mourning.
Grief is an experience shared by all humans, yet it is experienced and expressed differently across cultures due to differing societal structures and norms.
O'Connor observes that current culture often lacks grief literacy and a structured system for managing the intense emotions associated with grief. Religion may provide a community and social support during grieving, yet it can also challenge beliefs, adding stress and disruption to the grieving process. Without communal experiences to facilitate the transition after a death, people in modern society must navigate their grief largely alone.
Grieving involves an alternating process between protest—the urgent, hormonally driven searching for what is lost—and despair— the sinking realization of a loved one's permanent absence. O'Connor describes despair as a function that halts our physically costly search. Understanding this process can aid individuals in navigating the complex emotions tied to grief.
The Social and Psychological Aspects Of Grieving
Grief stress can be overwhelming, but there are various strategies and tools available to manage the process and maintain resilience.
O'Connor discusses the resilience of the body and its ability to re-regulate, highlighting the usefulness of body awareness during grief. Andrew Huberman describes a practice similar to yoga nidra, which includes self-directed relaxation, long exhale breathing, and acknowledging the finiteness of time. This practice, which he calls non-sleep deep rest, rejuvenates his approach to life.
Mary-Frances O'Connor speaks about progressive muscle relaxation, which involves contracting and relaxing different muscle groups. This technique, found to be more helpful than mindfulness in a study involving widows and widowers, helps in becoming more aware of what relaxation feels like. O'Connor explains that this technique can be used in various settings to alleviate muscle tension, thereby assisting with grief management.
O'Connor suggests having a "big toolkit of strategies to deal with waves of grief," including coping strategies for dealing with repetitive thoughts that arise during grief, such as changing one's environment or simply walking outside to shift thought patterns. The text also discusses intervention strategies to help people navigate troubling memories, especially if they get worse over time, which includes professional help.
Huberman speaks about the benefits of setting up bereavement documents to reduce confusion and sadness for loved ones after one's passing. O'Connor emphasizes the value of learning to work with the mind, brain, and body to understand how to engage with them to navigate life's challenges. This implies that supportive practices and knowledge can offer comfort and perspective during grief.
Huberman also underscores the importance of having supportive people during times of grief, noting the significance of touch, hugs, eye contact, and the presence of another person or pet. He further discusses the role of bereave ...
Strategies and Tools For Navigating Grief
Andrew Huberman and Mary-Frances O'Connor discuss the profound impact grief can have on the body and emphasize the need for systemic healthcare support to mitigate the health risks associated with bereavement.
Grieving is a medically risky time with the potential to intensify medical vulnerability due to the physiological stress it causes. On the day a loved one dies, a person is 21 times more likely to have a heart attack, and in the first three months following a spouse's death, a man is nearly twice as likely to have a fatal heart attack, with the risk for women at about 1.8 times greater. O'Connor cites large epidemiological studies showing a much higher risk of all-cause mortality for newly bereaved people, indicating a significant impact on physical health.
Grieving individuals often experience physical pain with sensations like a lump in the throat or a chest on fire. O'Connor's lab connected waves of grief with increased blood pressure, particularly in those with more intense grief, and these elevated levels of stress do not recover for them, suggesting ongoing physiological stress.
Systems of care are crucial for assessing whether people are healthy during periods of grief. This approach compares grief care to monitoring health during pregnancy, suggesting that health issues like gestational diabetes or hypertension are detected and treated when they arise in expectant mothers. Aspirin was tested as a cardioprotective measure for bereaved individuals and showed positive results, but larger studies are needed to confirm this without negative side effects.
A public health model of bereavement support is discussed, which would provide grief literacy, psychoeducation, and an understanding of the grief process to ...
The Medical and Healthcare Implications of Grief
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