Dr. Marc Brackett: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence, as defined by Dr. Marc Brackett and other experts, is a nuanced concept that encompasses a set of skills critical for recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions both in oneself and in others.

Emotional intelligence involves a set of skills related to recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions in oneself and others.

Emotional intelligence allows people to not only identify and label their emotions but also to understand their causes and consequences. Brackett illustrates this with the example of unpacking situations to understand various emotions that underlie a particular experience, emphasizing the need to analyze feelings to determine their actual causes.

Emotional intelligence allows people to reason with and about their emotions, including understanding the causes and consequences of feelings.

Brackett explains that emotional intelligence involves having the language to accurately describe emotions and the insight to comprehend their origins. For example, recognizing whether emotions arise from a personal failure or external pressures like bullying is a crucial part of emotional intelligence.

The RULER acronym describes the key emotional intelligence skills: Recognizing emotions, Understanding emotions, Labeling emotions, Expressing emotions, and Regulating emotions.

The RULER acronym provides a framework for these vital skills. Recognition is evident when Brackett mentions being aware of mixed emotions, and understanding comes through in rich conversations about different forms of anger, from peeved to livid. Labeling is also part of this, discussing the causes and manifestations of these feelings, while expressing emotions is linked to Brackett’s mention of being a feelings coach. Finally, regulating emotions is about managing these effectively -- Brackett's interactions with his father and students highlight real-life applications of these skills.

Emotional intelligence is distinct from personality traits and requires specific skills that can be learned and improved at any stage of life.

Brackett emphasizes that emotional intelligence consists of both intrapersonal and interpersonal skills -- understanding oneself and perceiving the emotions of others. Unlike personality traits, emotional intelligence involves specific skills unrelated to an individual's disposition and can be developed and improved with practice and learning.

Emotional intelligence involves both intrapersonal skills (understanding and managing one's own emotions) and interpersonal skills (perceiving and responding to others' emotions).

Brackett discusses how ...

Emotional self-awareness and regulation are critical skills for well-being and success. Huberman and Brackett discuss practical strategies that can help individuals recognize, understand, and manage their emotions more effectively.

Visualizing emotions on a mood meter that maps pleasantness and energy levels can help people recognize and understand their emotional states.

Brackett introduces the concept of a mood meter, a tool used to help people, including children in schools, identify their emotions at various times of the day. The mood meter consists of four quadrants: blue for low energy and low pleasantness, green for high pleasantness and low energy, yellow for high energy and high pleasantness, and red for high energy and low pleasantness. This visual representation helps individuals recognize that feelings fluctuate throughout the day and can change based on different circumstances.

The mood meter has four quadrants representing different types of emotions, from high-energy/high-pleasantness to low-energy/low-pleasantness.

An app called "How We Feel" reinforces understanding one's emotional states by allowing users to track their feelings throughout the day. By plotting their emotions on the energy versus pleasantness scale, users gain insight into their emotional patterns and can analyze how their feelings vary depending on circumstances.

Identifying one's current emotional state and the reasons behind it enables more effective emotion regulation.

Brackett underscores the importance of not just recognizing an emotion, but also connecting it to the reason for that emotion. This connection is crucial for addressing the root cause of the feeling and achieving proper emotional regulation.

Employing distancing techniques, such as visualizing a scene or framing a situation as a movie, can help people manage strong negative emotions in the moment.

Brackett describes using a distancing technique during an emotionally charged family dinner, where he visualized his father as a character in a TV show to create psychological distance from the conflict. This allowed him to observe the situation more objectively and without being overwhelmed by emotions.

Distancing allows people to observe their emotions objectively rather than being consumed by them.

The strategy of asking oneself reflective questions about the origins of an emotion or pondering the situation from an outsider's perspective can facilitate emotion regulation. For example, Brackett talks about getting curious and contemplating the origins of his father’s anger, which helps with emotional management.

Asking oneself reflective questions about the origins and reasonableness of an emotion can also facilitate regulation.

Additionally, distancing techniques can be practiced by visualizing oneself in a different space-time reference, like imagining observing one's ...

Marc Brackett shares his deep personal encounters with bullying during childhood, explaining how these experiences became the catalyst for his life’s work in emotional intelligence education.

The speaker was severely bullied as a child, experiencing shame, fear, and despair due to the lack of support and intervention from adults.

As a youngster, Marc Brackett felt a crippling inability to defend himself or correctly handle his emotions during bullying. His chaotic emotional experiences, twined with a lack of emotional awareness and regulation skills, led to profound feelings of worthlessness and isolation. Brackett recounts a sharp memory of failing a yellow belt test in karate, which, against the backdrop of being bullied, amplified his sense of shame, particularly in the absence of supportive reactions from his environment. Instead of guidance, he faced criticism and was urged not to quit karate—comings that echo the broader support he yearned for.

He paints a vivid picture of a tumultuous home life, where his mother grappled with anxiety and his father's tough love approach failed to provide the nurturing he needed. This combination of school bullying and an emotionally unintelligent home environment made Brackett feel isolated and helpless, with no adults stepping in to aid him.

His descriptions of feeling exposed to a power imbalance, an intent to harm him, and the constancy of such negative interactions illustrate the toxic environment he endured. He especially highlights the moment when a teacher witnessed the bullying but chose to look away, ingraining a deep sense of despair and abandonment in the young Brackett.

The speaker's traumatic experiences of bullying motivated him to dedicate his career to teaching emotional intelligence skills to help prevent and address bullying.

Persistent memories of bullying, such as when he faced threats from bullies during a karate test, underscore the deficiency of emotional skills that could have helped him cope more effectively. Realizing his powerlessness and the impacts of suppressed emotions which translated into unhealthy behaviors, Brackett turned his focus to assisting others.

For past two decades, Marc Brackett has spearheaded a center for emotional intelligence, teaching skills that are cru ...

Brackett and Huberman provide insights into the role of emotions in various aspects of human life, including learning, relationships, and social dynamics.

Emotions play a central role in attention, engagement, and the learning process, as they drive where people focus their mental resources.

Emotions guide what we pay attention to and how we engage with material. In learning environments, fostering positive emotional states such as curiosity and excitement can enhance learning outcomes. Brackett argues that integrating emotions into classroom experiences keeps students interested and promotes better attention. When students are not engaged, their attention wanders, leading to distractions. Brackett mentions using high-energy music like Lady Gaga's to get students excited for brainstorming, as high-energy emotional states can improve engagement and creativity. However, he notes that lower energy levels are more suited to tasks that require detail-oriented focus, like writing grants.

Classrooms and learning environments that foster positive emotional states like curiosity and excitement tend to promote better learning outcomes.

Brackett notes that when classrooms foster environments of curiosity with high engagement, students have much better attention. He advocates for the integration of emotions into everyday classroom experiences to maintain student interest and enhance learning outcomes.

Tailoring the emotional tone and energy level of instruction to the specific task at hand (e.g., high energy for brainstorming, lower energy for detail-oriented work) can optimize learning.

Brackett explains that having high energy is not suitable for tasks that require careful thought, building consensus, or focus on detail. For such tasks, a lower energy level is beneficial, enabling people to be more thoughtful and detail-oriented. He shares his own experience of using classical music to focus on meticulous tasks such as grant writing.

Emotional awareness and empathy are critical for building healthy relationships and navigating social dynamics, both in personal and professional settings.

Brackett and Huberman explore how emotional management and expression affect relationships. They discuss emotional self-awareness and the need for empathy in forming strong connections. Brackett emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence, noting it allows people to adapt to others' needs, showing empathy without getting lost in emotions.

Recognizing and responding appropriately to others' emotional states, rather than judging or ignoring them, facilitates stronger interpersonal connections.

Brackett highlights the significance of recognizing and responding appropriately to a colleague’s emotional state as an expression of emotional intelligence. Judging someone for being "so emotional" prohibits healthy communication and relationship-building. Teaching emotional perception is crucial for understanding and interacting with others in various settings. Nonjudgment, empathy, com ...