Dr. Jamil Zaki: How to Cultivate a Positive, Growth-Oriented Mindset

Cynicism is characterized by a deep-seated belief in the selfish, greedy, and dishonest nature of people. This perspective shapes how cynics interact with the world around them.

Cynicism is a theory that people at their core are selfish, greedy, and dishonest.

Psychologists view cynicism as a theory that posits individuals as fundamentally motivated by self-interest, greed, and dishonesty. Zaki elaborates that cynics live with the constant belief that other people are motivated exclusively by selfish desires. This outlook leads cynics to constantly guard themselves against others, impeding the formation of trusting and deep connections even with close acquaintances, romantic partners, and family members. According to Jamil Zaki, cynics perceive humans as being inherently competitive or "red in tooth and claw," suggesting that people's kindness is simply a veil over their true predatory nature. Cynicism, as such, simplifies the complex nature of human interactions into a more manageable, if bleak, worldview, equating negativity about others with wisdom.

Cynicism often has its roots in insecure attachment early in life, where people develop a mistrust of others and an inability to feel safe in social situations.

Insecure attachment, often evaluated through the strange situation experiment, significantly correlates with cynicism. Children who are insecurely att ...

Cynicism, while often seen as a protective mechanism, is linked to a multitude of negative personal outcomes, including happiness deficits and adverse health effects.

Cynicism is associated with a range of negative outcomes, including lower levels of happiness, greater depression and loneliness, and even shorter lifespans.

Zaki brings to light how cynicism can make individuals miss the beauty of human kindness and everyday acts of compassion. People with cynical views are less able to benefit from social connections; studies indicating that they do not experience stress reduction from social support in times of distress. Huberman paints a vivid picture of the stereotypically unhappy character Oscar the Grouch to conceptualize the associated lack of happiness with cynicism. Studies involving tens of thousands of individuals show that cynics endure lower levels of happiness, greater depression, more loneliness, and even more physical ailments, ultimately leading to shorter lifespans.

Cynics are less able to build fulfilling social connections and meaningful relationships, which are vital to physical and mental health.

Being chronically stressed and isolated due to a lack of trust can have profound effects on mental and physical health. Cynics struggle not only with mental health but with physical health issues as well, owing to their inability to build meaningful relationships. Huberman discusses how cynics also have a dampened capacity to feel joy and pleasure, which impedes the creation of enriching relationships.

Cynicism prevents individuals from effectively learning about the world and other people, as it biases them against gathering and processing new information that could challenge their negative beliefs.

Cynicism limits individuals from fully understanding their social environment, as they tend to perceive and interpret social information in a manner that bolsters their pre-existing negative views. This forms a cycle of mistrust that hinders cognitive function.

Cynics tend to perceive and interpret social information in a way that reinforces their pre-existing cynical views, creating a self-fulfilling cycle of mistrust.

Huberman describes cynicism as a heuristic that simplifies social interactions into rigid categories, which can obstruct learning and adherence to potentially unfounded preconceptions about others. He suggests that cynicism leads to a generally less intelligent approach, as it closes off people to new information, cu ...

Overcoming cynicism involves adopting a more constructive mindset, focusing on the positive aspects of our social world, and committing to personal growth and better understanding of others.

Adopting a "hopeful skepticism" mindset

A shift from a cynical to a skeptical mindset can make a significant difference in how we perceive the world.

Actively challenging one's own cynical assumptions

Jamil Zaki emphasizes the importance of challenging our negative beliefs and assumptions. Rather than assuming the worst about people like a cynic might do, we should think like scientists—curious and eager for evidence. Zaki argues that we should question our negative beliefs as we would in cognitive behavioral therapy, by considering the evidence for and against them and allowing ourselves to be surprised by positive outcomes.

The skeptical mindset he advocates for is not fixed but is willing to learn from new information. Hopeful skepticism, then, pairs skepticism with the idea that our default assumptions are often too negative and can be challenged. This involves questioning our gut instincts and acknowledging that they can lead us astray.

Practicing "reciprocity mindset" and "social savoring"

Reciprocity and appreciation in social interactions can help diminish cynical views.

Reciprocity mindset involves considering how one's own trusting behavior can positively influence others

By adopting a reciprocity mindset, we consider how our trusting actions might positively influence others, instead of focusing solely on potential risks. This shift in focus can encourage a more trusting and cooperative environment.

Social savoring involves consciously appreciating and sharing positive social experiences

Zaki extends the concept of social savoring—consciously appreciating and sharing positive social experiences—to counteract the natural tendency to dwell on the negative. He speaks about practicing social savoring with his children by actively looking for and sharing positive observations about people. This practice, he notes, can change mental processes and what we notice about others, leading to a more positive outlook on social interactions.

Deliberately taking social risks and "encounter counting"

Taking social risks a ...

The prevalence of cynicism in social and political environments is significantly shaped by misunderstandings and the influence of social media. Research indicates that actual differences between groups may be smaller than perceived, and that social media can amplify negativity.

Research shows that perceived political polarization is often much greater than actual polarization, as people tend to drastically overestimate the extremity of those with opposing views.

A significant majority of people, over 80% according to surveys, desire compromise and less conflict in politics, yet many are unaware of this consensus. People commonly misconstrue who belongs to the opposing political party, with Democrats erroneously believing that a higher percentage of Republicans are wealthy and Republicans overestimating the percentage of Democrats who are LGBTQ. Both sides harbor incorrect perceptions about the beliefs and desires of the average member of the opposing party. Studies have identified that perceived polarization—what individuals think the other side believes—is significantly greater than actual polarization. This includes beliefs about the extent of each other's support for extreme immigration policies, anti-democratic actions, and violence to advance aims. People overestimate the opposite side's enthusiasm for violence and their willingness to undermine democracy, sometimes as much as by 400%.

These misconstructions contribute to a vicious cycle where individuals think the opposing side dislikes them more than is accurate. This cycle of escalation leads to a phenomenon where the public underestimates how peaceful and democratic-minded most people are. Reducing these fallacies can diminish the impulse for escalation by showing that the opposition doesn’t harbor as much ill-will as assumed and that most people want greater compromise and peace.

Social media environments can exacerbate cynicism by exposing people to an unrepresentative sample of extreme, negative content that reinforces cynical beliefs.

AI models, which learn from data on the internet, may reflect the negativity disproportionately present online. Social media may act as a cynicism factory, amplifying posts that express outrage or negativity, particularly regarding immorality. Accounts that tweet with indignation, encouraged by their in-group, are likely to increase their outrage in future posts, creating a reinforcement loop. Only 10% of the most active Twitter users are responsible for the majority of tweets, leading to an unrepresentative view of society and contributing to the mean world syndrome—an exaggerated perception of danger or negativity resulting from media consumption.

Jamil Zaki suggests that a balance can be struck by intentionally curating social media exposure and consuming information representing the wider spectrum of human behavior could counteract cynicism. For instance, following varied types of social media accounts can adjust one's perception, exposing someone to the more beautiful or everyday aspects of life as we ...