Coleman Ruiz: Overcoming Physical & Emotional Challenges
In this episode of Huberman Lab, Coleman Ruiz opens up about his transition from active military service to civilian life and the emotional challenges he faced in this process. He discusses battling severe depression and suicidal thoughts as he struggled with the dissonance of reentering the "ordinary world" after his time as a Navy SEAL serving in the Iraq War. Ruiz candidly shares his journey of healing through therapy, lifestyle changes, and the profound impact of losing close friends in combat.
The conversation sheds light on Ruiz's experiences mentoring others through trauma and loss. He offers insights into navigating vulnerability and grief, emphasizing the power of calmness, gentleness, and surrendering control in the face of life's uncontrollable aspects. Ruiz's personal stories provide a window into the realities of military life and the path to recovery after immense adversity.
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Rediscovering purpose in ordinary life
Coleman Ruiz opens up about battling severe depression after transitioning to civilian life, a period in which he struggled with the pain and dissonance of readjusting to the "ordinary world." Describing the intense emotional turmoil and suicidal thoughts, Ruiz emphasizes the energy it took to complete even simple tasks post-military. He details his process of healing, which included therapy, courses, reading books, and implementing lifestyle changes. Ruiz touches on the benefits of pharmacological help and somatic experiences as well. He and Andrew Huberman stress the courage it takes to seek help, especially for those not accustomed to showing vulnerability.
Deaths of close friends during his time in the military
The emotional impact of losing close friends in combat was immense for Ruiz, bringing a profound sense of vulnerability and mortality. He speaks about the continuous "shock" to his system due to these losses and the responsibility of notification, which was particularly harrowing. Ruiz describes how notifying a fallen comrade's family and attending numerous memorials led to a significant emotional toll. These experiences of grief and duty contributed deeply to his understanding of loss and strength.
Becoming a Navy SEAL and serving in the Iraq War
Ruiz shares his journey of becoming a Navy SEAL, detailing the challenges and characteristics needed to succeed in "BUDS" training. Attributes he identifies as common among successful trainees include past involvement in varsity sports, experiences with parental divorce, and a tendency towards rebellious behavior. He also talks about his roles in leadership and the reality of constant combat, including the "extreme firefights" he faced and his belief in his own immortality, necessary for survival in such dangerous circumstances.
Mentoring others who are struggling with trauma and loss
Drawing from his own experiences with trauma and loss, Ruiz sheds light on how he mentors others through their pain. He discusses using personal insights, emphasizing calmness, gentleness, and surrendering to life's uncontrollable aspects. Ruiz highlights the significance of private conversations and understanding for those at similar stages of coping with trauma and loss. Huberman commends Ruiz for sharing his journey, underscoring the mentorship value in his stories of recovery and potential for impacting a broader audience.
1-Page Summary
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Clarifications
- BUDS training is a rigorous selection program for Navy SEAL candidates, known for its intense physical and mental challenges. It stands for Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training and is designed to test candidates' endurance, resilience, and ability to perform under extreme pressure. The training includes various phases such as physical conditioning, underwater exercises, and land warfare training to prepare candidates for the demands of special operations missions. Successful completion of BUDS training is a significant milestone towards becoming a Navy SEAL.
- Somatic experiences in the context mentioned typically involve focusing on internal physical sensations to address trauma and stress responses, rather than solely on cognitive or emotional aspects. This approach aims to help individuals process and regulate their bodily responses to past traumatic events, often as part of therapy sessions. Somatic experiences can include practices like tracking bodily sensations, interoception, proprioception, and kinaesthesis to promote healing and resilience. Peter A. Levine developed Somatic Experiencing as a method to address trauma-related stress responses through a bottom-up processing approach.
- Pharmacological help involves the use of medications to treat mental health conditions. These medications can help alleviate symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. They are often prescribed by healthcare professionals to assist individuals in managing their mental health challenges.
- Andrew Huberman is an American neuroscientist and podcaster known for hosting the Huberman Lab podcast. He is an associate professor at Stanford University School of Medicine. Huberman has been both praised for his podcast's popularity and criticized for promoting health claims lacking strong scientific backing.
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Rediscovering purpose in ordinary life
Coleman Ruiz, Andrew Huberman, and guests share a deep dive into the struggles of transitioning from military to civilian life and the subsequent mental health journey, drawing from Joseph Campbell's "Hero's Journey" and their own personal experiences.
Depression and suicidal thoughts after leaving military service
Isolating and refusing help from others during difficult times
Coleman Ruiz opens up about his own "return to the ordinary world" after leaving the Navy and the shock of facing severe depression. He describes the immense energy required to perform simple tasks like getting out of bed, a stark contrast to his prior military training. Ruiz tells of a time when he stood on the brink of contemplating suicide, encountering intense emotional pain that did not align with his self-perception as someone well-prepared for life's challenges.
Healing process and coming to terms with psychological issues
Ruiz recalls feeling trapped during the return phase after military service, highlighting the importance of embracing every step of life's journey. He reflects on the difficulty in understanding his intense emotions and his reluctance to accept help. Ruiz eventually came to terms with seeking assistance, emphasizing the significance of engaging in an internal cycle to understand and overcome psychological turmoil. Despite feeling like two people trapped in one ordinary world, Ruiz notes that he managed to reconnect with life and its purposes by recognizing his challenges are part of the human evolutionary history.
Getting help through therapy and medication
Ruiz expresses his initial resistance to therapy and entering the therapeutic process. The sessions helped him unpack his emotional burden, and although progress was slow, it helped facilitate his transformation. Ruiz also discusses the value of somatic experiences, such as massage and craniosacral therapy, as a part of his healing regimen. He took an intellectual approach too, attending courses and reading books to aid in recovery.
Ruiz shares his experimentation with plant medicines within controlled environments and lifestyle changes like abstaining from alcohol. He acknowledges the continuous discipline in addressing e ...
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Rediscovering purpose in ordinary life
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Clarifications
- The Hero's Journey is a narrative framework popularized by Joseph Campbell, a mythologist. It outlines a common story structure found in myths, legends, and literature worldwide. The journey typically involves a hero leaving their ordinary world, facing challenges, undergoing transformation, and returning with newfound wisdom. Campbell's work highlights universal themes and stages in hero narratives, providing a template for understanding personal growth and overcoming obstacles.
- Somatic experiences like massage and craniosacral therapy involve hands-on techniques that aim to promote physical and emotional well-being by addressing tension, stress, and trauma stored in the body. Massage therapy uses various techniques to manipulate soft tissues, muscles, and joints to improve circulation and alleviate pain. Craniosacral therapy focuses on subtle movements of the cranial bones and sacrum to enhance the flow of cerebrospinal fluid and release restrictions in the body's tissues. These therapies are believed to help individuals relax, release emotional blockages, and restore balance to the body's systems.
- Plant medicines within controlled environments typically refer to the use of natural substances like certain psychedelic plants or fungi in a carefully managed setting, often under the guidance of experienced facilitators. These substances, such as psilocybin mushrooms or ayahuasca, are used for therapeutic or spiritual purposes to induce altered states of consciousness that may lead to profound insights or healing experiences. The controlled environment ensures physical safety and emotional support during the experience, aiming to maximize the potential benefits while minimizing risks. This approach is increasingly being explored in clinical research and therapeutic settings for conditions like depression, PTSD, and addiction.
- Abstaining from alcohol typically means choosing not to consume any alcoholic beverages. This lifestyle change is often made for various reasons, including improving physical health, mental clarity, and overall well-being. For individuals dealing with mental health challenges like depression, abstaining from alcohol can be a proactive step to avoid exacerbating symptoms and to support their healing journey. It can also help in maintaining stability and focus during the recovery process.
- The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) are a set of guiding principles for recovery from addiction. They involve admitting powerlessness over alcohol, seeking help from a higher power, taking a moral inventory, making amends for past wrongs, and helping others in similar situations. The steps are a structured approach ...
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Deaths of close friends during his time in the military
Coleman Ruiz delves into the profound impact of losing close friends in combat, expressing how these deaths resonated deep emotional shocks and led to an overwhelming sense of vulnerability.
Impact of friends dying in combat
Ruiz reflects on the death of his friend Doug as a pivotal event that instilled a sense of mortality and an urgency to stay alive. Doug was described as tough, focused, and a highly effective operator, making his death not only shocking but a significant emotional event for Ruiz. The sense of vulnerability that ensued was something Ruiz had not contemplated before.
Noticing constant "shock" from losses
Throughout his military service, Ruiz was repeatedly struck by the physical and emotional pain caused by the deaths of friends. The experience was described with raw intensity, comparing the psychological impact to a kind of traumatic brain injury for the nervous system, symbolized by a relentless series of shocks - "boom, boom, shock, shock, shock, shock."
Feeling deeply affected by having to notify families
Ruiz shares the deeply affecting task of having to notify the family of a fallen comrade, specifically recounting the journey to inform Tommy Valentine's family of his passing. The drive to International Falls was brutal for him, leaving Ruiz shaking with the emotional weight of the responsibility.
The emotiona ...
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Deaths of close friends during his time in the military
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Coleman Ruiz served in the military, where he experienced the loss of close friends in combat. These experiences deeply impacted him emotionally and psychologically, leading to a profound sense of vulnerability. Ruiz's reflections highlight the intense emotional toll and the challenging responsibilities he faced while serving in the military.
- Attending memorials in the military context holds deep emotional significance as it honors fallen comrades and provides closure for those left behind. These ceremonies serve as a way to pay respects, remember the sacrifices made, and support grieving families and friends. The act of attending memorials also foste ...
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Becoming a Navy SEAL and serving in the Iraq War
Coleman Ruiz discusses his rigorous journey as a Navy SEAL and leadership roles during his service, including experiencing intense combat situations in Iraq.
Going through intense SEAL training ("BUDS")
Ruiz attended the Naval Academy where he competed for a spot on the SEAL teams. Out of approximately 150 who started the grueling process, which included a challenging weekend event and a condensed version of SEAL training during a summer program in Coronado called "mini BUDS," only a select few were chosen – Ruiz being among the 16 of his class. Following his graduation, he joined BUDS without any surprises in passing the training due to the self-assured outlook he had nurtured.
Key traits for getting through BUDS: playing varsity sports, having divorced parents, getting suspended from school
Ruiz explains that the students who made it through BUDS often shared common traits: they were varsity athletes, had divorced parents, or had been suspended from school. Ruiz noted that 90 to 95 percent of successful trainees exhibited at least one of these characteristics. He credits varsity sports for instilling structure and teaching coachability, physical and mental competence, and teamwork.
Whereas the exact benefits of having divorced parents on BUDS performance weren't elaborated upon, Ruiz implied that experiences like his parents' divorce during his senior year had a significant impact on his and potentially others’ capabilities. Ruiz also suggested that a rebellious streak—which could manifest in actions leading to school suspension—was important for the unpredictable and rule-defying situations encountered in SEAL missions.
Taking leadership roles in combat operations
Ruiz held a leadership position as a platoon commander during the 2003 invasion of Iraq and contemplated joining a special mission unit. This dis ...
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Becoming a Navy SEAL and serving in the Iraq War
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- The selection criteria for successful BUDS trainees, as mentioned by Ruiz, include traits like being a varsity athlete, having divorced parents, or having been suspended from school. These characteristics were observed in a significant majority of those who completed the rigorous SEAL training. The connection between these traits and success in BUDS is based on the qualities they develop or situations they navigate, such as discipline, resilience, and adaptability.
- The implication of divorced parents and school suspension on BUDS performance is not a widely recognized or scientifically proven correlation. The mention in the text is based on anecdotal observations and personal experiences shared by Coleman Ruiz. It suggests that certain challenging life experiences like having divorced parents or being suspended from school may have contributed to the resilience and adaptability needed to succeed in the demanding environment of Navy SEAL training.
- A rebellious streak is seen as important for success in SEAL missions due to the unpredictable and rule-defying nature of the tasks involved. It can help individuals adapt to challenging and unconventional situations commonly encountered during missions. This trait may foster a mindset that is more open to taking risks and making quick decisions under pressure. SEAL missions often require individuals to think creatively and act decisively in high-stress environments, making a rebellious streak potentially beneficial for navigating such scenarios.
- SEAL missions are often unpredictable and rule-defying due to the nature of special operations warfare. These missions involve unconventional tactics, clandestine operations, and the need to adapt quickly to changing circumstances. SEAL teams are trained to operate in high-risk environments where traditional rules may not apply, requiring flexibility and creativity to achieve mission objectives. The rule-defying aspect comes from the necessity to think outside the box and sometimes break conventional military norms to accomplish their objectives effectively.
- "Kinetic" is a military term used to describe situations involving active combat or physical fighting. In the context of warfare, "kinetic" typically signifies actions t ...
Counterarguments
- While Ruiz attributes success in BUDS to traits like playing varsity sports, having divorced parents, and getting suspended from school, it's important to note that correlation does not imply causation. There may be other factors that contribute to a candidate's success in SEAL training.
- The implication that having divorced parents is a common trait among successful BUDS trainees could be seen as an oversimplification. Many individuals from stable family backgrounds also succeed in BUDS, and personal resilience can come from a variety of life experiences.
- The suggestion that a rebellious streak is beneficial for SEAL missions could be challenged by the argument that discipline and adherence to rules are also critical traits for military operations, which often require strict compliance with orders and protocols.
- Ruiz's leadership roles during combat operations are highlighted, but it's important to recognize that leadership in such contexts is a complex issue and can be influenced by many factor ...
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Mentoring others who are struggling with trauma and loss
Mentoring individuals who are grappling with trauma and loss is a delicate and complex task that requires empathy, patience, and understanding. Guidance through such difficult times can be profoundly impactful.
Coleman Ruiz knows the pain of trauma and loss firsthand. He speaks from personal experience, having lost his mentor Doug in 2007. This kind of loss, coupled with his recall of trauma and the more tender, fun times with family, shapes how he approaches life and his interactions with others who have faced similar challenges.
Ruiz reveals struggles with personal memories and decision-making, noting how these choices can affect his family and alluding to the profound personal costs associated with trauma and service. Such insights give Ruiz a depth of understanding necessary for mentoring others through trauma and loss.
Mentoring involves helping others to contextualize where they are coming from and where they are heading, especially after profound or destabilizing experiences such as the use of plant medicines. Ruiz underscores the value of private conversations for people in similar stages of dealing with trauma and loss, reinforcing the importance of guidance and understanding in recovery.
Ruiz's personal journeys, through understanding and working through the psychological impacts of his experiences, suggest an intention to share learned insights. These experiences could be valuable for others managing similar issues.
Importantly, Ruiz acknowledges the value of calmness and gentleness, suggesting that these qualities are essential in addressing life's challenges, even if they differ from the stereotypical tough-guy mentality often associated with those in service.
Andrew Huberman and Ruiz also touch upon the concept of surrendering to life’s uncontrollable aspects, a significant hurdle for individuals accustomed to proactively managing problems. Ruiz further di ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Mentoring others who are struggling with trauma and loss
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Plant medicines, such as psychedelics like psilocybin (found in magic mushrooms) or ayahuasca, have gained attention for their potential therapeutic effects in treating mental health conditions, including trauma and loss. These substances are sometimes used in controlled settings as part of therapy to help individuals process difficult emotions, gain insights, and promote healing. The use of plant medicines is often guided by trained professionals to ensure safety and maximize the potential benefits for individuals dealing with trauma and loss. Research into the therapeutic applications of these substances is ongoing, with promising results suggesting their efficacy in supporting mental health recovery.
- Surrendering to life's uncontrollable aspects involves accepting that there are certain things beyond our control and letting go of the need to constantly manage or manipulate every situation. It's about embracing uncertainty and acknowledging that not everything can be planned or controlled. This concept encourages individuals to release the grip of trying to dictate every outcome and instead trust in the natural flow of life. By surrendering, one can find peace in accepting the unpredictability and impermanence of life's circumstances.
- The "low-grade pain" associated with avoidance of life's necessary steps can be understood as a persistent discomfort or unease that stems from neglecting important actions or decisions. It represents a subtle but ongoing emotional burden caused by not addressing essential aspects of life, leading to a sense of dissatisfaction or discontent. This concept highlights the idea that avoiding necessary actions can result in a lingering sense of discomfort or dissatisfaction, even ...
Counterarguments
- While empathy, patience, and understanding are crucial, mentoring also requires setting boundaries to prevent emotional burnout and maintain professional effectiveness.
- Personal experience can be a valuable tool in mentoring, but it can also introduce bias; mentors must be careful not to project their own experiences onto those they are helping.
- Insights from personal struggles are beneficial, but mentors should also be well-versed in evidence-based practices and not rely solely on anecdotal evidence.
- Contextualizing experiences is important, but mentors should also empower individuals to develop their own coping strategies and not just provide guidance.
- Sharing personal insights can help others, but there is a risk of over-identification with the mentor's journey, which may not be applicable to everyone's unique situation.
- Calmness and gentleness are important, but there are times when a more direct or assertive approach may be necessary to help someone through trauma and loss.
- The concept of surrendering to life's uncontrollable aspects might not resonate with everyone, and some individuals may find more solace in taking action or seeking control over their circumstances.
- The "hero's jo ...
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