Escaping Perfectionism
In this episode of Hidden Brain, Thomas Curran shares insights about the rise of perfectionism, drawing from both his research and personal experiences. He examines how perfectionism develops, including his own story of using achievement to overcome feelings of shame and inferiority, and discusses research showing a 40% increase in perfectionism among college students since the late 1980s.
The episode explores the important distinctions between unhealthy perfectionism and healthy conscientiousness, using examples from various fields including surgery and creative writing. Through these examples, Curran demonstrates how perfectionism can lead to diminishing returns and self-sabotage, while explaining why striving for "good enough" outcomes often proves more effective than pursuing perfection.
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1-Page Summary
Personal Experience of Perfectionism and Its Emotional Impacts
Thomas Curran shares his personal journey with perfectionism, rooted in his working-class upbringing. Growing up in material deprivation, he developed a deep sense of shame and inferiority, which fueled an intense drive to prove his worth through achievement. This perfectionism culminated during his graduate school years, where he routinely worked 80-hour weeks and engaged in excessive preparation for presentations.
The toll of his perfectionism became evident when Curran experienced a panic attack after an extended period of continuous work, forcing him to confront the harmful impact of his relentless pursuit of perfection on his mental health.
Perfectionism in Young People Today
Research conducted in 2016-2017 revealed a 40% increase in perfectionism among college students since the late 1980s, as Curran reports. He attributes this rise to various factors, including social media's influence on comparison behavior and intensifying academic pressures.
At the London School of Economics, Curran observes students struggling to find satisfaction in their achievements. He shares the story of a student called "John," who, despite earning high grades, consistently devalues his success due to unrealistic self-expectations.
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Perfectionism: Psychological and Behavioral Differences
Curran distinguishes between unhealthy perfectionism and healthy conscientiousness. He explains that perfectionists often work beyond the point of diminishing returns and struggle with self-sabotaging behaviors, while conscientious individuals can rebound from setbacks more effectively.
Using examples from high-stakes professions like surgery and piloting, Curran emphasizes that seeking perfect outcomes can be detrimental. He suggests that there are multiple "good enough" ways to handle scenarios rather than one perfect way. Shankar Vedantam adds to this point by citing writer Margaret Atwood as an example of someone who maintains high productivity without perfectionism, enjoying the creative process rather than being paralyzed by it.
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Counterarguments
- Perfectionism might not always stem from a sense of inferiority or material deprivation; it can also arise from positive reinforcement of high achievement.
- The increase in perfectionism among college students could be influenced by factors other than social media and academic pressures, such as parenting styles or economic uncertainties.
- Some students may find satisfaction in their achievements despite high self-expectations, suggesting that the issue is not universal.
- The distinction between unhealthy perfectionism and healthy conscientiousness might be oversimplified, as there can be a spectrum of behaviors and attitudes within these categories.
- In certain professions, striving for perfection might not be detrimental but necessary, as long as it is managed healthily and does not lead to burnout.
- The concept of "good enough" might not apply in all scenarios, especially in tasks where precision is critical for safety or success.
- High productivity does not necessarily exclude perfectionism; some individuals might be both perfectionists and highly productive.
- The use of Margaret Atwood as an example may not be representative of all individuals who are productive without perfectionism, as personal work styles can vary greatly.
Actionables
- You can track your work habits with a "diminishing returns" journal to identify when extra effort is no longer yielding significant benefits. Start by logging the hours you spend on tasks and rate the value of the output each hour produces. Over time, you'll see patterns that indicate when your productivity plateaus, signaling it's time to take a break or move on to another task.
- Create a "good enough" portfolio where you collect examples of work you've completed that were successful without being perfect. This could include projects, assignments, or any tasks where you met the objectives satisfactorily without overextending yourself. Reviewing this portfolio regularly can reinforce the idea that perfection isn't necessary for success and can help build a healthier approach to work and creativity.
- Develop a "creative enjoyment ritual" by setting aside regular time to engage in a creative activity without any goals or standards of perfection. Choose something you enjoy, like sketching, writing, or playing an instrument, and focus solely on the process rather than the outcome. This practice can help you appreciate the intrinsic value of creativity and reduce the pressure to produce perfect results.
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Personal Experience of Perfectionism and Its Emotional Impacts
Thomas Curran shares his intimate struggles with perfectionism, detailing how his working-class upbringing intensified emotional trials that eventually led to overwork and self-sabotage in his academic pursuits.
Thomas Curran On Shame and Inferiority in a Working-Class Upbringing
Curran's early life was marred by material deprivation, which deeply influenced his perception of self-worth and his drive for achievement.
Early Deprivation Fueled Curran's Need to Prove Worth Through Achievement
Growing up in a loving yet materially deprived household, Thomas Curran often felt different from his peers who owned the right brand of sneakers and trendy gadgets. The lack of a car in his family, a symbol of status among friends, particularly intensified his sense of shame and inferiority. He internalized the notion that one must buy their way out of shame, propelling a strong desire to succeed and prove his worth.
Perfectionism in Graduate School Led Curran to Overwork and Self-Sabotage
Curran provides a candid look at how his perfectionism culminated in graduate school, where it spiraled into overwork and detrimental behavior patterns.
Curran recognizes that his perfectionism was predominantly shaped by experiences of shame throughout his life. Entering a hypercompetitive university atmosphere, where he felt overshadowed by more successful peers, Curran resorted to excessive striving. He was always first to arrive and last to leave, routinely worked 80-hour weeks, and engaged in conspicuous over-communication with supervisors.
His dedication to perfection led to intensive preparation for a presentation, which, while flawless, he recounts as lacking in authenticity. Yet, the extreme response to potentially public failure was typical of his perfectionist tendencies, manifesting as self-sabotaging thoughts, relentless worry, and constant comparisons wi ...
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Personal Experience of Perfectionism and Its Emotional Impacts
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Actionables
- Reflect on your own experiences with perfectionism by journaling to identify patterns and triggers. Start by writing down moments when you felt driven to be perfect and what emotions were tied to those instances. This can help you understand the root causes of your perfectionism and begin to address them.
- Set realistic goals and celebrate small achievements to counteract the drive for perfection. Instead of aiming for flawless outcomes, focus on progress and learning. After completing a task, take a moment to acknowledge what you did well, even if the result wasn't perfect.
- Practice self-compassion exe ...
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Perfectionism in Young People Today
Perfectionism Up 40% in College Students Since Late 1980s, Linked To Negative Mental Health Outcomes
Thomas Curran reveals that a study conducted around 2016-2017 showed a marked increase in perfectionism among the younger generation, particularly college students.
Causes of Rising Perfectionism
The study Curran mentions evidenced a staggering 40% rise in perfectionism since the late 1980s. He stresses this surge as problematic due to its strong link with negative mental health outcomes including depression, anxiety, and self-harm. Curran ties this increase to various factors like social media sharpening the penchant for comparisons and the amplifying pressures to overachieve academically and professionally. Additionally, he points out shifting parenting paradigms where parents push children harder to succeed academically in response to intensifying competition.
Curran Notes Lse Students Struggle to Find Satisfaction in Success Due to Fear of Failure
Curran notes that at the London School of Economics, students seem to be wrestling with perfectionism, which hinders their ability to enjoy success or handle failures effectively. He observes that their fear of failure and the pressure to perform flawlessly impede them from feeling satisfaction from their achievements.
Curran's Student "John" Devalues High Grad ...
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Perfectionism in Young People Today
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Counterarguments
- The increase in perfectionism might not solely be attributed to social media and parental pressure; other societal and economic factors could also play significant roles.
- The study's methodology and the definition of perfectionism could influence the perceived increase; it's important to consider how perfectionism was measured and if the criteria have changed over time.
- The link between perfectionism and negative mental health outcomes, while supported by research, may not account for individual differences in coping mechanisms and resilience.
- The role of social media in fostering comparisons could be mitigated by teaching media literacy and critical thinking skills, suggesting that the platform itself isn't solely to blame.
- The pressure to overachieve might also stem from students' personal ambitions and societal narratives around success, not just from external pressures.
- The observation at the London School of Economics may not be generalizable to all institutions or populations, as it could reflect a culture specific to highly competitive academic environments.
- The case of "John" might represent a ...
Actionables
- You can create a "Good Enough" journal where you document instances where you aimed for "good enough" rather than perfection. This practice helps you recognize and celebrate the value of progress over perfection. For example, if you complete a project at work, instead of nitpicking every detail, write down what you accomplished and how it contributes to your team's goals, acknowledging that it's a valuable contribution even if it's not flawless.
- Develop a habit of "social media reality checks" by setting aside time each week to reflect on the content you consume and remind yourself of the curated nature of social media. During this time, you might list out the posts that made you feel inadequate and counter them with real-life examples that show a more balanced view of life, such as personal achievements or simple pleasures that aren't typically showcased online.
- Initiate a "failure resume" where you rec ...
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Healthy vs. Unhealthy Perfectionism: Psychological and Behavioral Differences
Thomas Curran details the differences between unhealthy perfectionism and healthy conscientiousness, drawing on personal anecdotes, psychological insights, and practical examples.
Curran Contrasts Perfectionism For Validation With Healthy Diligence
Perfectionists Self-Sabotage; Conscientious People Rebound From Setbacks
Curran explains that perfectionists often work beyond the point of comfort, entering a zone of diminishing returns. They contend with intrusive thoughts about flawless performance and are prone to self-sabotage by withholding effort after failure to save face. Unlike conscientious individuals who rebound from setbacks, perfectionists may withdraw or procrastinate to avoid intense anxiety, behaviors counter-productive to performance.
Curran suggests writing these intrusive thoughts down and realistically assessing them. Using his grandfather, a master craftsman who worked diligently without seeking validation, as an exemplar, Curran contrasts his own past validation-seeking behavior with his grandfather's satisfaction from meticulous work recognized for its quality rather than personal recognition.
Perfectionism in High-Stakes: Curran's Surgeon/Pilot Example
Curran emphasizes the importance of conscientious behavior over perfectionism in high-stakes situations like surgery or piloting, where searching for a perfect outcome could be detrimental. There are many "good enough" ways to handle such scenarios instead of one perfect way, he notes.
Healthy Standards, Self-Compassion, and Adaptable Expectations Enhance Resilience
Curran remarks that perfectionists often experience failure because they set the bar too high and continue to push for more, even after success. They operate under intense pressure and fear of failure, which paradoxically leads to avoidance behaviors. However, he provides evidence that one can be just as successful without the emotional baggage of perfectionism. Shankar Vedantam adds that writer Margaret Atwood's lack of perfectionism yet high p ...
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Healthy vs. Unhealthy Perfectionism: Psychological and Behavioral Differences
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Clarifications
- Unhealthy perfectionism involves setting excessively high standards, leading to self-criticism, fear of failure, and avoidance behaviors. Healthy conscientiousness, on the other hand, focuses on striving for excellence while maintaining a balanced perspective, adaptability, and self-compassion. Perfectionists may fixate on flawless outcomes and seek external validation, while conscientious individuals prioritize personal growth, learning from setbacks, and sustainable progress. Understanding this distinction can help individuals navigate challenges effectively and foster a healthier approach to achieving goals.
- Intrusive thoughts about flawless performance are persistent, unwanted ideas or images related to achieving perfection. These thoughts can be overwhelming and lead to anxiety and self-doubt. Individuals experiencing these thoughts may feel compelled to constantly seek flawlessness, even when it is unattainable. This can result in a cycle of self-criticism and fear of failure.
- Self-sabotage by withholding effort after failure can manifest as a response to the fear of facing further disappointment or criticism. It involves consciously or unconsciously holding back from giving full effort in subsequent attempts due to a belief that failure is inevitable or to protect one's self-esteem. This behavior can hinder progress and perpetuate a cycle of underachievement. Over time, it can reinforce negative beliefs about one's abilities and create a barrier to growth and success.
- Rebounding from setbacks means recovering and moving forward after facing challenges or failures. It involves learning from mistakes, adapting strategies, and persisting towards goals despite obstacles. This resilience allows individuals to bounce back stronger and continue their progress.
- Perfectionists often set extremely high standards for themselves, which can lead to a cycle of continuously raising the bar even after achieving success. This behavior stems from a deep-seated need for flawlessness and can result in persistent feelings of inadequacy despite external accomplishments. The pursuit of perfection becomes a never-ending quest, with individuals always striving for an unattainable ideal. This relentless drive for excellence, even beyond reasonable goals, can create immense pressure and anxiety, hindering satisfaction and well-being.
- Seeking validation involves looking for external approval or recognition from others to feel worthy or successful. On the other hand, finding satisfaction in meticulous work means deriving fulfillment and contentment from the process and outcome of one's own efforts and achievements, without necessarily needing validation from external sources. It's about intrinsic motiv ...
Actionables
- You can set a "good enough" standard for tasks by establishing clear, achievable criteria for completion before you start. Decide on a few non-negotiables that define a task's completion, such as a report being informative and clear rather than perfect in formatting and language. This helps prevent overworking and allows you to move on to other tasks without getting stuck in a cycle of endless revisions.
- Create a "failure resume" to normalize and learn from setbacks. List out instances where things didn't go as planned, what you learned, and how you adapted. This exercise can shift your focus from a fear of failure to recognizing the value of resilience and adaptability, traits of conscientiousness that contribute to success without the stress of perfectionism.
- Implement a "perfectionism timer" for your projects, where you allocate a specific amount of time for polishing w ...
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