Ouch! That Feels Great

We all have negative patterns we see playing out again and again in our lives—but have you ever thought you might secretly enjoy these patterns? In Existential Kink, writer and teacher Carolyn Elliott argues that the negative patterns in our lives are manifestations of what we unconsciously desire. Embracing and taking emotional and physical pleasure in such desires (practicing existential kink) will help dissolve them. And when we dissolve these desires, they no longer have a hold over us, which frees up our time and energy so we can want and manifest positive things in our lives.

In our guide, we’ll explain existential kink and its roots in Jungian psychology, as well as the seven major principles that comprise it. We’ll also explain how to practice existential kink meditation, plus some additional activities to help you incorporate existential kink into your life. We’ll add psychological and scientific context, as well as ideas and advice from other writers and experts.

Since the 2016 election, America has witnessed college campus protests against “controversial” or “dangerous” speakers. The Coddling of the American Mind explores this phenomenon, showing how a set of dangerous and false beliefs have taken root in the minds of today’s college students, convincing these young people that they are inherently fragile and must be protected from the allegedly harmful impacts of speech with which they disagree. This attitude threatens academic freedom, undermines democracy, and is ultimately harmful to the social and emotional development of today’s youth.

Humans evolved to seek comfort, but has modern society made us too comfortable? In The Comfort Crisis, Michael Easter argues that the cozy conveniences of the Western world harm our health and happiness by depriving us of challenges that our ancestors regularly faced. He explains that crucial discomforts like spending time in nature, fasting, and regularly exercising are becoming increasingly obsolete in our temperature-controlled, indoor world—where all of our slightest desires can be remedied with the click of a finger.

Michael Easter is an author, science journalist, and professor. After personally experiencing the life-changing benefits of embracing discomfort during his journey to sobriety, he began researching how physical and mental challenges can counteract the negative effects of modern-day comforts. In this guide, we’ll discuss the comforts that Easter says are most problematic and share his tips to make discomfort your friend. We’ll also compare his research to that of other experts and offer additional advice to quell the harmful comforts in your life.

The Happiness Hypothesis explores the nature of human happiness, blending the philosophical and theological wisdom of ancient thinkers with insights from the field of positive psychology. Our satisfaction is driven by how our mental filters interpret the events in our lives, with the human brain perpetually divided against itself in the struggle between the desires created by our emotions and the attempts of reason to control them. The key to happiness is to use reason to focus the mind away from desires that will only bring fleeting happiness, while giving in to those desires that will bring lasting fulfillment.

We all have negative patterns we see playing out again and again in our lives—but have you ever thought you might secretly enjoy these patterns? In Existential Kink, writer and teacher Carolyn Elliott argues that the negative patterns in our lives are manifestations of what we unconsciously desire. Embracing and taking emotional and physical pleasure in such desires (practicing existential kink) will help dissolve them. And when we dissolve these desires, they no longer have a hold over us, which frees up our time and energy so we can want and manifest positive things in our lives.

In our guide, we’ll explain existential kink and its roots in Jungian psychology, as well as the seven major principles that comprise it. We’ll also explain how to practice existential kink meditation, plus some additional activities to help you incorporate existential kink into your life. We’ll add psychological and scientific context, as well as ideas and advice from other writers and experts.

Why and how do people justify their questionable actions and big mistakes? In Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me), social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson argue that we self-justify to relieve cognitive dissonance: discomfort triggered when we do things that don’t align with our other beliefs, actions, and values. They examine several unconscious processes we use to reduce the discomfort of cognitive dissonance, including self-justification, confirmation bias, and memory distortion. By learning about these psychological processes, you can unlock awareness of them in your own life and begin taking accountability for your actions.

In this guide, you’ll learn how contradictory thoughts and behaviors create painful dissonance. We’ll also discuss how self-justification, confirmation bias, and memory distortion help us relieve dissonance. Finally, we’ll discuss how the authors suggest we can break the cycle of self-justification and hold ourselves accountable for our uncomfortable actions. In our commentary, we’ll discuss healthier strategies you can use to deal with dissonance and explore some of the neurological processes that drive self-justifying behavior.

Humans evolved to seek comfort, but has modern society made us too comfortable? In The Comfort Crisis, Michael Easter argues that the cozy conveniences of the Western world harm our health and happiness by depriving us of challenges that our ancestors regularly faced. He explains that crucial discomforts like spending time in nature, fasting, and regularly exercising are becoming increasingly obsolete in our temperature-controlled, indoor world—where all of our slightest desires can be remedied with the click of a finger.

Michael Easter is an author, science journalist, and professor. After personally experiencing the life-changing benefits of embracing discomfort during his journey to sobriety, he began researching how physical and mental challenges can counteract the negative effects of modern-day comforts. In this guide, we’ll discuss the comforts that Easter says are most problematic and share his tips to make discomfort your friend. We’ll also compare his research to that of other experts and offer additional advice to quell the harmful comforts in your life.

Although we live longer today and have more material wealth than ever, many people feel anxious rather than happy. In Flow, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi offers an antidote. People are happiest when they feel in control of their inner thoughts and feelings and experience a “flow state”: a sense of enjoyment, purpose, and meaning.

Csikszentmihalyi explains: how controlling and ordering your consciousness brings flow and enjoyment, which personality characteristics produce flow, and how to find flow in your work and relationships.

Since the 2016 election, America has witnessed college campus protests against “controversial” or “dangerous” speakers. The Coddling of the American Mind explores this phenomenon, showing how a set of dangerous and false beliefs have taken root in the minds of today’s college students, convincing these young people that they are inherently fragile and must be protected from the allegedly harmful impacts of speech with which they disagree. This attitude threatens academic freedom, undermines democracy, and is ultimately harmful to the social and emotional development of today’s youth.