Relationships 2.0: The Power of Tiny Interactions + Your Questions Answered: Erica Bailey on Authenticity

Gillian Sandstrom and other researchers emphasize the importance of casual interactions, known as "weak ties," which can have a significant positive impact on our well-being and sense of belonging.

Casual Interactions Can Profoundly Impact Well-Being and Happiness

Casual, everyday interactions with people we are not close to can boost our happiness and sense of connection to the world around us.

Maintaining "Weak Ties" Linked To Increased Happiness and Belonging

Sociologist Mark Granovetter coined the term "weak ties" in the 1970s to describe the relationships we have with acquaintances. Psychologist Gillian Sandstrom and her colleagues have found that these weak ties are a crucial part of our daily routines and contribute to our happiness and sense of belonging. Her hypothesis that increases in such interactions could lead to greater happiness was supported by a study involving clickers to count interactions, which indicated that participants experienced increased happiness and feelings of belonging the more they interacted with weak ties.

Weak Ties Offer Social Connection and New Information

Sandstrom's research has highlighted that weak ties provide social connections and introduce novel information into our lives. Interactions with acquaintances can range from fun facts to more substantial exchanges, like receiving help or joining a new group. These encounters contribute a sense of novelty and diversity to our daily experiences. For instance, people who treated a barista as if they were an acquaintance by engaging in brief social interaction found themselves in a better mood, more satisfied with their experience, and feeling a greater sense of connection to others.

Weak Tie Interaction Loss During Covid-19 Harmful to Well-Being and Connection

The COVID-19 pandemic altered daily routines, which in turn impacted casual encounters with acquaintances and the well-being associated with those interactions.

Patterns of Daily Life Changed, Reducing Casual Encounters and Interactions

The pandemic ...

Gillian Sandstrom's journey from being a deeply introverted individual to someone who actively seeks out social interaction with strangers is a story of personal growth through overcoming social anxiety.

Gillian Sandstrom: Shy, Bookish, Anxious About Social Interactions

Gillian's Father Was Extroverted, Outgoing, and Comfortable Starting Conversations With Strangers, Which Embarrassed Young Gillian

Gillian recounts her childhood as introverted and bookish. In noisy family gatherings, she sought the quietest place to read. Her intense shyness prolonged teen activities such as routine phone conversations, causing her great anxiety. In stark contrast, Gillian's father had an extroverted nature, often engaging strangers with humor and ridiculous questions, much to Gillian's embarrassment.

Gillian's Persistent Shyness Led To Incidents Like Missing Flights due to Anxiety

Gillian's shyness was once so crippling that it led to a significant incident at the age of 25, where her anxiety stopped her from responding to a flight attendant calling out her married surname about a baggage issue, resulting in her not receiving her luggage.

Gillian's Experiences Made Her Actively Engage With People

In an effort to overcome her social anxiety, she began initiating conversations with people who seemed alone in social settings. Her transformation into an outgoing conversationalist was gradual. For example, she developed a relationship with a hot dog vendor near her university through smiles and waves. She enjoyed the daily interactions with people she encountered, including the hot dog vendor, who became a familiar, friendly face.

Gillian Seeks Brief Connections With People She Encounters Daily, Like the Local Hot Dog Vendor

Gillian's turning point came when she recognized the value of weak ties in her everyday life, such as the ones with the hot dog vendor. The small yet frequent interactions evolv ...

Understanding how to engage in fruitful conversations with strangers can be a valuable social skill. Gillian has gathered insights on how to overcome the anxiety associated with such interactions.

Gillian Devised Strategies to Overcome Anxiety About Speaking To Strangers

Jillian has formulated methods to address the psychological barriers when engaging in dialogue with unfamiliar individuals.

Initiate Conversations: Comment on a Shared Environment Aspect, Express Genuine Curiosity, or Highlight Something Interesting

To break the ice, Gillian underscores the importance of commenting on a shared aspect of the environment or expressing curiosity. For example, Sandstrom suggests using the weather as a starting point since it's a commonality you share with the stranger. She advocates a broad application of this principle, whether it's pointing out unusual happenings or something pleasant like playful dogs or spring flowers. Initiating conversations by asking someone about their current activity in a curious, light-hearted fashion can also establish an immediate connection.

Maintain Conversations: Be Patient, Acknowledge Awkwardness, and Focus On Common Ground or Novel Topics

Sandstrom reflects on the need to be patient, especially when encountering initial wariness from strangers. To sustain a conversation, she recommends thinking ahead about possible responses, sharing personal anecdotes, commenting on current events, asking questions, or simply taking a moment to breathe and not panic during silences. Acknowledging the awkwardness and focusing on finding common ground or new subjects to discuss can also keep the conversation flowing.

Ending Conversations Can Be Challenging, but Gillian Advises Being Direct yet Polite, Thanking the Person and Signaling It's Time to Move On

Gillian Sandstrom understands the social discomfort that arises when trying to end a conversation that has ext ...

The struggle to maintain authenticity in professional environments is a complex challenge explored by Erica Bailey and Shankar Vedantam. They dissect the pressures individuals face to present idealized versions of themselves while navigating the nuances of impression management.

Pressure to Present Idealized Self In Professional Contexts

Tension Between Authenticity and Impression Management

Bailey describes how professionals in academia often resort to self-promotion and impression management on social media, emphasizing publications and accomplishments. This practice is sometimes mocked, noting that external validation from such announcements does not alter one's self-esteem or personal issues. There’s a prevailing pressure to share only positive highlights, fostering a misguided impression that everyone leads perfect lives. Bailey advocates for embracing authenticity, such as revealing the messy details and the role of luck in success, which can be beneficial for the individual and the audience.

Workplace Environments Can Challenge Authentic Self-Expression

Bailey and Vedantam discuss the tension between presenting an authentic versus idealized self, a struggle present in social media and face-to-face interactions. Bailey acknowledges the balancing act between impression management and being truly oneself.

Challenges for Underrepresented Groups in Professional Roles

The discussion delves into the cultural mismatch some individuals might experience if their personality doesn't align with their cultural environment, more so for people living in a culture different from their own. This can lead to feeling like one cannot fully express themselves or showcase their abilities in academic and corporate settings.

Underrepresented groups often can't exhibit their authentic selves due to the ideal worker stereotype—an image rooted in the persona of highly competent white male tech workers. Erica Bailey discusses the challenges faced by people of color, who often have to edit or censor aspects of themselves in diverse spaces. Bailey also points to the problematic norms of professionalism and the difficulties they create for people of color to express themselves authentically at work. The ideal worker stereotype and related pressures can hinder individuals from feeling safe and authentic.

Guadalupe adds that individuals with multiple strong identities, referring to her own as being Sephardic Jewish, Mexican Latina, indigenous, a lesbian-identified nun, and an elder with disabilities, face particular challenges in professional settings where not all identities may be accepted or understood. Neurodivergent individuals also experience hardships when their authentic behavior is penalized or frowned upon by society.

Strategies For Navigating This Authenticity-Impression Management Tension Include:

Bailey’s empirical data shows that authenticity is crucial for one's well-being, regardless of how others perceive it. She stresses that personal authenticity should be valued over others' views, with a focus on ...