We Need to Talk

Difficult conversations are a constant throughout life, at work, at home, and in the world. We never outgrow them, or get a promotion that saves us from them, or meet a person who’s so perfect for us we never have to have them.

But difficult conversations, if we engage in them successfully, are the mark of a healthy relationship. In fact, the success and survival of any relationship, business or personal, depends on the ability of those involved to master difficult conversations. Difficult Conversations will help you ask for that raise, bring up issues with your spouse, understand your kids better, and get to the bottom of your feud with your neighbor.

When we’re in a relationship with someone who has broken a promise, violated a commitment, behaved badly, or otherwise failed to meet our expectations, we’re forced to decide whether to bring up the issue and risk making our relationship worse or suffer in silence and let the issue continue. Luckily, communication and management experts Patterson, Grenny, Maxfield, McMillan, and Switzler explain that if we properly prepare for, execute, and follow up on our accountability conversation, we can solve our issues while improving our relationships.

This guide explores the steps necessary to effectively solve accountability issues and provides insights from other fundamental theories of interpersonal communication, management, and psychology. We’ll learn how to discuss the right issue, control our emotions, address sticky topics, and effectively follow up on our chosen solution, ultimately putting an end to accountability issues and steering our relationships in a positive and productive direction.

We need to talk about racism. But, for white people and people of color alike, talking about it can feel like navigating through a minefield. In So You Want to Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo offers a handbook on how to have intelligent, productive, empathetic conversations about race.

Our guide discusses and extends Oluo’s ideas for how to tackle these conversations, comparing and contrasting her ideas on race with those of her contemporaries. We also examine the research underlying Oluo’s arguments. You’ll learn about the school-to-prison pipeline, why touching someone’s hair can be a racist act, and what you can do to fight racial injustice through both conversations and practical actions.

Do you avoid small talk because you find it intimidating or lacking in value? If so, The Fine Art of Small Talk is your ticket to conversational success. According to Debra Fine, small talk is a skill well worth developing because our careers, romantic prospects, and social lives depend on connecting with other people. Indeed, it’s difficult to succeed socially without small talk because it establishes the emotional tone of our interactions and helps us gauge how deeply we’d like to connect with each other.

In this guide, we’ll walk you through Fine’s small talk tips and her ideal conversational process step by step—from first introduction to exiting the conversation—teaching you everything you need to appear confident and engaging in any context. We’ll also compare Fine’s ideas to those of other communications experts—for instance, Dale Carnegie—and weave in psychological research that sheds light on the mechanics of communication. Learn how to break the ice with strangers, keep a conversation going, and avoid the most common conversational pitfalls—in a way anyone can follow.

In How to Know a Person, New York Times columnist David Brooks argues that our ability to truly understand and connect with others is in crisis. As a result, we have problems like political polarization, mental health issues, and an epidemic of loneliness. Brooks contends that by rediscovering the lost art of “knowing” people, we can bridge divides, foster empathy, and rebuild our moral character.

This guide explores Brooks’s key insights on seeing people as individuals, appreciating diverse perspectives, and recognizing the inherent dignity of every person around you. You’ll learn practical strategies for deeper listening, asking meaningful questions, and cultivating crucial social skills. We’ll also compare his insights on social behavior and relationships to those of other experts and look at how Brooks’s advice aligns with research on understanding and communicating with each other.

Nobody likes small talk, right? That may be so, but it doesn’t make small talk any less important as an overture to the more interesting topics you actually want to talk about. In Better Small Talk, social interaction specialist Patrick King argues that small talk is a critical part of any conversation and that you need to master the art of small talk to have better, more meaningful conversations. In this guide, you’ll learn how to engage someone in the dreaded small talk and how to become a better conversationalist, storyteller, and listener overall.

In addition to presenting King’s strategies, we’ll also share psychological insights on human communication and tips from other communication experts, and we’ll draw connections between different parts of the book to enhance your understanding of the material.

In How to Know a Person, New York Times columnist David Brooks argues that our ability to truly understand and connect with others is in crisis. As a result, we have problems like political polarization, mental health issues, and an epidemic of loneliness. Brooks contends that by rediscovering the lost art of “knowing” people, we can bridge divides, foster empathy, and rebuild our moral character.

This guide explores Brooks’s key insights on seeing people as individuals, appreciating diverse perspectives, and recognizing the inherent dignity of every person around you. You’ll learn practical strategies for deeper listening, asking meaningful questions, and cultivating crucial social skills. We’ll also compare his insights on social behavior and relationships to those of other experts and look at how Brooks’s advice aligns with research on understanding and communicating with each other.

Is there a research-backed way to make love last? In The Love Prescription, relationship researchers Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman argue that long-lasting love is sustained by small, daily acts. They explain that regularly practicing behaviors such as expressing gratitude for your partner and being honest about your needs make all the difference for long-term love.

In this guide, we’ll explain why small acts sustain healthy relationships and discuss how to implement the most crucial habits in your romantic life. You’ll learn how to express gratitude for your partner’s admirable actions, ask deep questions to stay connected with them, and make time for date night no matter what. We’ll also compare the Gottmans’ approach to the ideas of other relationship and communication experts, including Mark Goulston (Just Listen) and Gary Chapman (The 5 Love Languages).

Difficult conversations are a constant throughout life, at work, at home, and in the world. We never outgrow them, or get a promotion that saves us from them, or meet a person who’s so perfect for us we never have to have them.

But difficult conversations, if we engage in them successfully, are the mark of a healthy relationship. In fact, the success and survival of any relationship, business or personal, depends on the ability of those involved to master difficult conversations. Difficult Conversations will help you ask for that raise, bring up issues with your spouse, understand your kids better, and get to the bottom of your feud with your neighbor.