Podcasts > Hidden Brain > Wellness 2.0: Who Do You Want To Be?

Wellness 2.0: Who Do You Want To Be?

By Hidden Brain Media

In this Hidden Brain episode, Shankar Vedantam and Ken Sheldon delve into the conflict between pursuing societal expectations and staying true to one's intrinsic motivations. They explore how individuals often chase external markers of success like wealth and status, even when it clashes with their core values and fails to bring fulfillment.

The discussion examines the role of the conscious and unconscious mind in setting meaningful goals. Sheldon highlights the creative process of self-discovery, where mindfulness can reveal evolving desires and enable realigning choices with personal values over time. The conversation illuminates the journey of finding purpose by listening to one's authentic aspirations.

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Wellness 2.0: Who Do You Want To Be?

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Wellness 2.0: Who Do You Want To Be?

1-Page Summary

Challenges In Choosing Meaningful Life Goals

Shankar Vedantam and Ken Sheldon explore the conflict between pursuing goals dictated by external societal pressures versus aligning with one's intrinsic values and desires.

Pursuing Goals Misaligned With Core Values

Sheldon recalls how after college, he followed external advice like EST training while unconsciously feeling adrift from his true passions. His research found that people often chase conventional success metrics, like wealth and status promoted by society, despite lacking fulfillment once attained. Sheldon cites the example of Amy, a lawyer pursuing a lucrative career path despite her early interest in environmental work, leaving her deeply unhappy.

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

While extrinsic motivators like money seem prevalent, Sheldon emphasizes intrinsic motivations related to personal growth and connections are more crucial for fulfillment. Research by Deasy showed that external rewards can undermine intrinsic motivation. Sheldon also found law students' initial idealism gave way to self-centered motivations as they achieved success motivated by extrinsic factors like status.

Discovering One's True Desires and Values

Sheldon's studies reveal that when individuals list their aspirations, it often uncovers motivations that don't align with their values. Mindfulness meditation can reveal subtle preferences by surfacing unconscious inclinations, as seen when Amy reconnected with her early environmental interests.

However, Vedantam notes that our deeply ingrained upbringing makes evaluating true values difficult. Goldwitzer's research suggests we rationalize committed paths to avoid psychological discomfort, preventing re-evaluation of choices that potentially conflict with inner motivations.

Role of Conscious and Unconscious Mind in Goal-Setting

Sheldon explains that while we consciously set goals, significant motivations occur unconsciously. The creative process bridges this divide through preparation (conscious inquiry), incubation (unconscious processing), illumination (insight into desires), and verification (evaluating fulfillment).

Sheldon advocates for ongoing self-discovery through mindfulness, which can reveal evolving motivations and allow realignment with personal values over time. Amy's recognition of unhappiness prompted unconscious revelations about her true passion, though acting on this insight proved challenging due to her existing situation.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The creative process involves four main stages:
  1. Preparation: This is the conscious phase where you gather information, research, and brainstorm ideas.
  2. Incubation: During this stage, your unconscious mind processes the information gathered in the preparation stage.
  3. Illumination: This is when insights and ideas emerge seemingly out of nowhere, often described as a "Eureka!" moment.
  4. Verification: In this final stage, you evaluate and refine the ideas that have surfaced to see if they align with your goals and values.

Counterarguments

  • Intrinsic and extrinsic motivations are not always mutually exclusive; they can be interdependent, with extrinsic rewards sometimes enhancing intrinsic motivation when they are aligned with personal values.
  • The pursuit of wealth and status may not inherently lack fulfillment; for some, these goals may be deeply aligned with their values and a source of genuine satisfaction.
  • External advice and societal pressures can sometimes positively influence individuals, guiding them towards goals that they may not have considered but ultimately find fulfilling.
  • The assumption that law students' idealism gives way to self-centered motivations may not account for the complex personal and professional growth that occurs over time, which can include a nuanced understanding of how to effect change within a system.
  • Mindfulness meditation is not a one-size-fits-all solution and may not be effective or appealing for everyone as a means of uncovering true desires and values.
  • The creative process described may not universally apply to all individuals or all types of goals, as people have diverse ways of processing information and making decisions.
  • Rationalizing committed paths is not always negative; it can be a form of cognitive consistency that helps individuals maintain a sense of identity and purpose, even when faced with doubts.
  • The idea that significant motivations occur unconsciously may overlook the capacity for individuals to engage in reflective and deliberate goal-setting based on conscious reasoning.
  • The emphasis on ongoing self-discovery may not acknowledge the stability and contentment that some individuals find in maintaining consistent goals and values over time.
  • The challenges of acting on insights about true passions may be oversimplified, as there are often practical constraints and responsibilities that must be balanced with personal fulfillment.

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Wellness 2.0: Who Do You Want To Be?

Challenges In Choosing Meaningful Life Goals

Shankar Vedantam and Ken Sheldon discuss the common predicament where individuals feel stuck because their pursued goals don’t align with their intrinsic values and desires.

Pursuing Goals Misaligned With Core Values

Following External Advice Over Inner Motivations

Ken Sheldon recounts his own journey of self-discovery and the conflict of guidance that comes from within versus from society. After graduating from Duke University, Sheldon grappled with uncertainty and societal pressures regarding the path to success. He turned to external sources like the Erhard Seminar's Training (EST Training) to find direction.

Sheldon recognized he was adrift, unsure of what he truly wanted from life. He felt compelled to explore various pursuits such as joining a band, enrolling in a master's program, and attending EST workshops, only to find that these paths did not resonate with his personal aspirations or values. This brought him to the realization that the choices one makes in life are deeply personal and shouldn’t be left to external advice or pressures.

Observing how individuals simply echoed societal or familial expectations while writing down life ambitions in a study, Sheldon questioned the authenticity of these goals. He suggests that people often chase misconceptions about happiness, thinking certain achievements will bring fulfillment, only to realize their happiness remains unchanged upon goal attainment.

The deceptive voices of society, epitomized by characters like Gordon Gekko from "Wall Street," often glorify wealth, power, and status as the ultimate success metrics. In a consumer culture promoting materialism, individuals like Amy—who was convinced by a college friend to work for the environment—may end up chasing external success. Amy’s path led to a lucrative position as a partner in a big law firm. However, despite attaining convention ...

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Challenges In Choosing Meaningful Life Goals

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The Erhard Seminar Training (EST) was a controversial self-help program popular in the 1970s and 1980s. Led by Werner Erhard, EST aimed to provoke personal transformation through intense seminars focused on self-discovery and personal responsibility. Participants engaged in rigorous exercises and discussions to confront their beliefs and behaviors, often leading to profound insights and emotional breakthroughs. EST's confrontational approach and unconventional methods garnered both praise for its transformative impact and criticism for its intensity and potential psychological risks.
  • Gordon Gekko is a fictional character from the movie "Wall Street." He is a ruthless and greedy corporate raider who embodies the ethos of greed and excess in the financial world. Gekko is known for his famous line "Greed is good," which reflects his belief in the pursuit of wealth at any cost. The character serves as a symbol of the darker side of capitalism, emphasizing the pitfalls of prioritizing material success above all else.
  • Amy's journey from working for the environment to becoming a partner in a big law firm reflects a common scenario where individuals start with one career path ...

Counterarguments

  • External advice is not inherently misaligned with personal values and can sometimes provide valuable perspectives that individuals may not have considered on their own.
  • Societal norms and expectations can also reflect collective wisdom and beneficial practices that have evolved over time, which can be helpful in guiding individuals toward fulfilling lives.
  • Achieving goals, even those influenced by societal expectations, can lead to personal growth and unexpected satisfaction, suggesting that the path to happiness can be multifaceted.
  • Some individuals may find happiness in the pursuit of wealth, power, and status if these achievements are congruent with their personal values and definitions of success.
  • Introspection, while limited, can be a powerful tool for self-discovery when combined with other methods such as feedback from trusted friends, mentors, or professional counseling.
  • The pursuit of mis ...

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Wellness 2.0: Who Do You Want To Be?

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

Sheldon's research and findings shed light on the delicate balance between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation and how each influences long-term fulfillment and interest in one's work and pursuits.

Intrinsic Motivation Is More Fulfilling Than Extrinsic Motivation

Sheldon emphasizes that while extrinsic motivations like money and status may seem prevalent, intrinsic motivations related to personal growth, relationships, and connections play a more significant role in one’s fulfillment.

Research Indicates External Rewards Can Undermine Intrinsic Motivation

Ed Deasy’s experiments highlight that intrinsic motivation, driven by interest and curiosity, is essential for engagement but is easily disrupted by external rewards. The studies further illustrate that when participants were paid to solve puzzles, they quickly disengaged from the activity, indicating that external rewards diminished their intrinsic interest.

Sheldon also explains that intrinsic motivation can wane during long-term tasks but can be replaced by identified motivation. This is rooted in the belief that a task is meaningful, aligns with one’s values, and is personally important, even if the process becomes challenging.

Success Can Dampen Intrinsic Passion Due to Extrinsic Factors

Sheldon found that law students with initial idealistic motivations performed well but then shifted their focus from helping others to acquiring status. Similarly, practicing lawyers were more satisfied when their work aligned with intrinsic motivators rather than income or status.

Incentivized Law Students and Athletes Less Interested in Fields Later in Life

Sheldon observes that extrinsic rewards and incentives, such ...

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Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Intrinsic motivation in law students and athletes involves internal drives like personal growth and passion for the activity itself. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, stems from external factors such as rewards, recognition, or status. The balance between these motivators can impact long-term engagement and satisfaction in their respective fields. External incentives like scholarships or monetary rewards can sometimes diminish intrinsic motivation over time, leading individuals to lose interest once the external rewards are no longer present.
  • External rewards can sometimes diminish a person's natural interest and enjoyment in an activity. When individuals are given external incentives, like money or prizes, for tasks they initially found intrinsically rewarding, they may start focusing more on the external reward rather than the inherent satisfaction of the activity itself. This shift can lead to a decrease in their intrinsic motivation over time, as the external reward becomes the primary driver of their engagement, potentially overshadowing the joy they once derived from the task.
  • High-a ...

Counterarguments

  • Extrinsic motivation can be a powerful driver for those who may not have strong intrinsic motivation, providing necessary structure and incentives.
  • In some cases, extrinsic rewards can enhance intrinsic motivation if they are perceived as affirming competence or providing feedback, rather than controlling behavior.
  • The relationship between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation might not be entirely oppositional; they can coexist and interact in complex ways that are not fully captured by the research mentioned.
  • Success and extrinsic rewards can sometimes reinforce intrinsic motivation by providing the means and resources to pursue one's passions more freely.
  • The impact of extrinsic rewards may vary greatly depending on individual differences, cultural background, and the nature of the task or field.
  • Intrinsic motivation is not always preferable or practical, especially in tasks that are inherently uninteresting or in jobs that society needs to be done but are not intrinsically rewarding.
  • The studies mentioned may not account for long-term effects; extrinsic rewards might have different impa ...

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Wellness 2.0: Who Do You Want To Be?

Discovering One's True Desires and Values

Exploring the intricacies of personal goals and desires, researchers like Sheldon and Goldwitzer uncover the hidden motivations that guide our life choices and the difficulty in reconciling these with externally imposed expectations.

Questioning Desires Uncovers Deeper Motivations

Sheldon’s study on personality reveals that when individuals jot down their aspirations, it can lead to an exploration of whether these goals truly resonate with their values. This questioning often uncovers that many of our chosen objectives do not necessarily steer us toward long-term contentment.

Mindfulness Meditation Reveals Subtle Signals of True Preferences

For students wrestling with separating what they genuinely long for from the anticipated scripts handed down by their parents, mindfulness becomes a tool for discovery. For example, Amy’s internal questioning activated her unconscious mind to remember a significant person from her past who embodied her early environmental passions. This process suggests that mindfulness can be a catalyst in recognizing one’s authentic preferences.

Difficulty of Major Life Changes Due to Rationalizing Choices

As Ken Sheldon illustrates with his personal history, recognizing one's true inclinations is challenging and demanding due to the profound impact of culture and upbringing.

Our Minds Justify Committed Paths Over Evaluating True Values

Shankar Vedantam indicates that from a young age, influences from parents, culture, and education mold one's perception of what is valuable. This indoctrination persists, making it increasingly difficult for individuals to assess whether their actions align with their genuine desires.

After committing to a path, Goldwitzer’s research suggests that we enter an implementation phase where the inclination is to follow through on choices rather than question them. Once a decision is made, we avoid the psychological discomfort of cognitive dissonance by rationalizing our chosen path, often a ...

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Discovering One's True Desires and Values

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort experienced when holding conflicting beliefs, attitudes, or behaviors. This discomfort motivates individuals to reduce the inconsistency to restore cognitive harmony. People may rationalize their choices or ignore conflicting information to alleviate this discomfort. Cognitive dissonance can influence decision-making, attitude change, and behavior.
  • Understanding the relationship between aspirations, values, and long-term contentment involves recognizing that our goals may not always align with what truly brings us fulfillment. When we question our aspirations in light of our core values, we can uncover whether our chosen objectives lead to lasting satisfaction. This introspection can reveal discrepancies between our surface-level desires and what genuinely contributes to our overall well-being. By aligning our aspirations with our deeply held values, we increase the likelihood of achieving a sense of fulfillment and contentment in the long run.
  • Mindfulness meditation can help individuals connect with their true desires by quieting external influences and allowing deeper introspection. By fostering self-awareness and focusing on the present moment, mindfulness can reveal subtle signals of genuine preferences. This practice enables individuals to distinguish between societal expectations and their authentic aspirations, leading to a clearer understanding of personal values. Through mindfulness, individuals can tap into their inner wisdom and uncover what truly resonates with their core being.
  • Cu ...

Counterarguments

  • The effectiveness of mindfulness meditation in uncovering true desires may not be universal, as some individuals might not experience significant insights through this practice.
  • The assumption that questioning one's aspirations will lead to the discovery of misalignment with values may not hold true for everyone; some may find that their goals are indeed in line with their values upon reflection.
  • The impact of culture and upbringing on one's ability to recognize true inclinations could be overstated, as there are individuals who successfully challenge and overcome these influences.
  • The concept of rationalizing choices to avoid cognitive dissonance might not fully account for the complexity of human decision-making, which can also involve adaptive and strategic thinking.
  • Goldwitzer's suggestion that individuals avoid questioning their decisions post-commitment may not apply in cases where people regularly reflect on and adjust their life choices.
  • The narrative t ...

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Wellness 2.0: Who Do You Want To Be?

Role of Conscious and Unconscious Mind in Goal-Setting

Psychologist Ken Sheldon delves into the concept of self-concordance, reflecting on how our goals hinge on both our conscious choices and subconscious inclinations.

The Conscious Mind Accesses Only a Limited Portion of Our Mental Processes, While Significant Motivations and Decisions Occur Unconsciously

Sheldon discusses the profound problem of being consciously aware of only a limited amount of our psychological processes. While we engage in conscious decision-making, a significant part of our mind operates non-consciously, harboring habitual inclinations and emerging motives that often escape our awareness.

Creative Process: Bridging Conscious and Unconscious Through Preparation, Incubation, Illumination, and Verification

Sheldon also connects goal-setting with the four stages of creativity: preparation, incubation, illumination, and verification. By consciously grappling with questions, we stimulate the non-conscious mind to mull over these concerns, leading to illumination—unexpected insights that reveal our true desires. Shankar Vedantam emphasizes that the preparation phase is critical in setting the stage for subconscious processing. Sheldon mentions a review article linking conscious choice with neuroscience, suggesting that when we question ourselves, it engages brain networks beyond our conscious awareness, aiding in problem-solving. After preparation and illumination, the verification stage entails discerning whether these insights genuinely fulfill us, which Sheldon describes as an iterative process of thought.

An example given is Amy's recognition of her unhappiness led her non-conscious mind to surface an image related to her original passion, after a period of subconscious processing.

Mindfulness and Reevaluating Choices Align Life With Values

Ongoing Self-Discovery: Evolving Motivations Require Reflection

Sheldon suggests that mindfulness and asking probing questions about one's own happiness and des ...

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Role of Conscious and Unconscious Mind in Goal-Setting

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The non-conscious mind, also known as the unconscious mind, encompasses mental processes that occur without conscious awareness. It stores habitual inclinations, emerging motives, and influences decision-making without direct conscious involvement. These operations play a significant role in shaping behavior, emotions, and motivations, often influencing our choices and actions without us being fully aware of their impact.
  • The four stages of creativity - preparation, incubation, illumination, and verification - represent the process individuals go through when engaging in creative tasks.
  1. Preparation: In this stage, individuals gather information, ideas, and resources related to the task at hand.
  2. Incubation: This stage involves stepping away from the problem consciously, allowing the subconscious mind to work on it.
  3. Illumination: It is the sudden insight or realization that emerges after the subconscious processing during the incubation stage.
  4. Verification: In this final stage, the individual evaluates and verifies the insights gained during the illumination phase to determine their validity and usefulness.
  • Amy's example illustrates how recognizing her unhappiness led her subconscious mind to bring forth an image related to her original passion after some time of unconscious processing. This showcases how our deeper desires can surface when we allow our minds to work through challenges subconsciously. Amy's journey highlights the importance of introspection and courage in aligning our conscious decisions with our true aspirations. It emphasizes the iterative nature of self-discovery and the need for thoughtful engagement with both the conscious and unconscious mind in pursuing our goals.
  • Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. It helps individuals become more aware of their thoughts and fee ...

Counterarguments

  • The conscious mind may have more influence on our decisions than suggested; some argue that we can train ourselves to be more aware of our subconscious motivations and thus bring more of our decision-making into conscious awareness.
  • The role of the unconscious in decision-making is complex and not fully understood; some researchers argue that the unconscious mind's influence may be overstated and that conscious thought plays a larger role in goal-setting and achieving outcomes.
  • The four stages of creativity may not be as linear or distinct as presented; creativity can be a more dynamic and fluid process that doesn't always follow a set sequence of stages.
  • The effectiveness of mindfulness and meditation in aligning life with values can vary greatly among individuals, and some may find other methods more effective for self-discovery and goal alignment.
  • The idea that life is an ongoing experiment requiring self-reflection may not resonate with everyone; some individuals may find that adhering to a consistent set of principle ...

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