The DFK Story I Haven’t Told — Until Now
In this episode of Good Inside, Dr. Becky Kennedy shares her personal experience of raising a child who experiences emotions with unusual intensity. She describes her initial struggles with her child's extreme reactions to minor incidents, and how these challenges led her to question both her parenting abilities and her child's well-being.
Through her journey, Kennedy developed a new approach to parenting deeply feeling children, drawing parallels between her child and the highly sensitive adults she had worked with in her practice. The episode explores how she adapted her parenting style to focus on validation and emotional containment, leading to positive changes in her child's ability to handle disappointment and navigate social situations.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Jul 15, 2025 episode of the Good Inside with Dr. Becky
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1-Page Summary
Becky's Personal Experience Parenting a Deeply Feeling Child
Becky Kennedy shares her challenging journey of parenting a child who experiences emotions with unusual intensity. She describes how her second child would have extreme reactions to seemingly minor incidents, such as having meltdowns over broken pretzels or vomiting after making eye contact while bottle feeding. These experiences left Kennedy questioning both her parenting abilities and her child's wellbeing.
Understanding and Adapting to a Deeply Feeling Child
Through her experiences, Kennedy began to recognize parallels between her child and the highly sensitive adults she had encountered in her practice. She realized her child, like these adults, became easily overwhelmed and experienced emotions more intensely than others. This understanding led her to develop a new parenting approach focused on validation, emotional containment, and patience, rather than trying to fix or change her child's reactions.
The Development of Becky's "Deeply Feeling Kid" Approach
Kennedy's personal struggles and growth informed the creation of her "Deeply Feeling Kid" program. She shares how difficult experiences, such as allowing her child to sleep on the floor outside their bedroom during a particularly challenging period, became valuable lessons that shaped her methodology.
Success Through Understanding
Now at age ten, Kennedy reports that her child, whom she affectionately calls the "og DFK" (original deeply feeling kid), has developed improved abilities to handle disappointment and navigate social situations. The child can now laugh off embarrassing moments and handle exclusion without extreme reactions. Kennedy notes that her daughter proudly identifies as the inspiration behind the Good Inside company and the deeply feeling kid approach, demonstrating how their challenging journey has transformed into a source of strength and understanding.
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Counterarguments
- While Kennedy's approach may work for her child, it may not be universally applicable to all deeply feeling children, as each child's needs and circumstances are unique.
- The narrative may inadvertently contribute to a sense of inadequacy among parents who struggle with similar issues but do not see the same progress, as individual results can vary widely.
- The term "deeply feeling kid" could be seen as a label that might limit the perception of the child's full range of abilities and characteristics.
- The success of the "Deeply Feeling Kid" program is primarily anecdotal and may lack empirical evidence or peer-reviewed research to support its effectiveness.
- The story may oversimplify the complexity of parenting a highly sensitive child by implying that understanding and patience alone can lead to significant improvements.
- The focus on the child's improved ability to handle social situations could be interpreted as valuing conformity over the acceptance of the child's natural emotional responses.
- The child's identification with the Good Inside company and the deeply feeling kid approach could be seen as a form of branding that may not fully respect the child's evolving identity and privacy.
- The narrative does not address the potential need for professional mental health support for children who experience intense emotions, which could be an important aspect of care for some families.
Actionables
- Create a "Feelings Journal" for your child to express emotions through drawing or writing, which can help them process their feelings and improve emotional regulation. By giving your child a dedicated space to explore and express their emotions, you encourage them to understand and communicate their feelings better. For example, after a tough day, your child could draw what they felt or write a story about it, which can serve as a starting point for a conversation with you.
- Develop a "Calm Down Kit" with your child, including items that soothe them, to empower them to self-regulate during intense emotional moments. Work with your child to select items such as a stress ball, a soft blanket, or a favorite book that they find comforting. When they feel overwhelmed, they can use the kit to help manage their emotions, which teaches them coping strategies and independence in handling their feelings.
- Start a weekly "Emotion Role-Play" game where you and your child act out different scenarios and practice appropriate responses to challenging situations. This playful approach allows your child to experiment with various ways of expressing and managing emotions in a safe, controlled environment. For instance, you could pretend to be a friend who didn't share a toy, and your child could practice expressing disappointment and asking for a turn in a calm manner.
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Becky's Personal Experience Parenting a Deeply Feeling Child
Becky Kennedy shares her personal journey navigating the complexities of parenting a child who experiences emotions deeply, describing it as both challenging and instructive.
Becky Struggled to Understand Her Child's Emotions
Becky Kennedy recalls the harrowing experience of dealing with her second child's extreme and animalistic reactions to minor incidents. She describes an incident of her child having a tantrum over two broken pretzels in a bag and another instance when her daughter vomited a bottle she had finally taken upon making eye contact with Becky.
Such intense reactions made Becky feel she was attacking her daughter simply by engaging in ordinary parenting actions. The gap she felt between her perception of doing a good job and the disappointing outcomes made her question both her parenting abilities and the wellbeing of her child.
Becky Was Shocked by Her Second Child's Extreme Meltdowns Over Small Things
Becky recounts how her child's extreme meltdowns over small matters left her and her husband feeling shocked, but never led them to harshly punish their daughter. She reflects on times, such as enforcing her own boundaries when she should have been more accommodating to her daughter's intense feelings about change and transition.
Becky Questioned Her Parenting When She Felt Something Was "Wrong" With Her Child
These parenting trials left Becky feeling that something was "wrong" with her child and put her own parenting into question. She felt as though she was going crazy, facing embarrassment and anger when her efforts to please her deeply feeling child were met with unexpected responses.
Becky's Journey To Understanding Her Deeply Feeling Child
Through her experiences, Becky began to recognize the similarities between her deeply feeling child and highly sensitive adults she had encountered in her practice, realizing her child was easily overwhelmed and felt things more intensely.
Similarities Between Becky's Child and Highly Sensitive Adults
Becky Kennedy noticed that deeply feeling individuals, like her child, often had trouble with interpersonal relationships and experienced a sense of emptiness or social paranoia.
Becky Recognized Her Child As a "Deeply Feeling" Individual Easily Overwhelmed
She came to understand that her child's "bucket" of tolerable experiences filled up quickly and that what seemed to be minor issues to others were significant to her child.
Becky Learned a New Parenting Approach for Her Deeply Feeling Child, Involving Validation, Containment, and Patience
Becky's learning journey led her to develop a new parenting approach that revolved around ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Becky's Personal Experience Parenting a Deeply Feeling Child
Additional Materials
Actionables
- Create a "feelings journal" for your child to draw or write about their emotions, helping them express and understand their feelings in a non-confrontational way. By giving your child a dedicated space to explore their emotions, you can encourage self-expression and reflection. For example, after a meltdown, gently suggest they use the journal to depict how they felt, what triggered it, and what might help them feel better.
- Develop a "calm down kit" with items that soothe your child, such as stress balls, noise-canceling headphones, or favorite books. This can be a go-to resource for your child when they start to feel overwhelmed. You can work together with your child to select items that they find comforting, creating a sense of ownership and understanding of their own coping mechanisms.
- Practice role-playing gam ...
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The Development of Becky's "Deeply Feeling Kid" Approach
Becky Kennedy shares her personal journey and reflections on parenting that led to the creation of her "Deeply Feeling Kid" program, a unique approach tailored to children who experience the world intensely.
Becky's Struggles Informed Her "Deeply Feeling Kid" Program
In navigating the complexities of raising a deeply feeling child, Becky's mistakes and personal growth informed her parenting approach, which has now evolved into a whole movement.
Becky's Mistakes and Growth, Such As Letting Her Emotional Child Sleep Nearby During a Hard Transition, Became Part of Her Approach
Becky recalls a difficult period when her first child struggled with destabilization, especially with sleep, leading to screaming fits and refusal to sleep. She candidly shares her feelings of guilt for allowing her daughter to sleep on the wood floor outside their bedroom for what felt like months. Such experiences and the guilt associated with them have now become integral to her "Deeply Feeling Kid" program, transforming her challenges into healing and development of an entirely new methodology.
Inspired by Her Insightful Child, Becky Helps Parents
Her deeply feeling kid, the "og DFK," who is acknowledged by Becky as the inspiration behind her work, has significantly influenced the guidance she provides to other parents dealing with similar experiences. Becky expresses how much her child has shaped her practice and her philosophies on parenting deeply feeling children.
Becky's Child Thrives With a Tailored, Understanding Approach
Through her tailored, understanding approach, Becky's child, now ten years old, has exhibited improved ability to navigate intense emotions, manage disappointment, and express emotions healthily.
Becky's Child Navigates Socially, Handles Disappointment, and Expresses Emotions Healthily
Kennedy notes the significant progress seen in her deeply feeling child's reactions to overwhelming situations, demonstrating a ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
The Development of Becky's "Deeply Feeling Kid" Approach
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- The "Deeply Feeling Kid" program, while beneficial, may not be a one-size-fits-all solution for every child who experiences intense emotions, as individual needs can vary greatly.
- The program's effectiveness could be limited without considering the diverse cultural, socioeconomic, and family dynamics that influence child development and parenting practices.
- Becky's personal experiences, while valuable, may not necessarily translate into a universally applicable parenting approach, as they are subjective and based on a single family's journey.
- The success of Becky's child under her program might not solely be attributed to the program itself; other factors such as the child's innate resilience, external support systems, or unmentioned interventions could play significant roles.
- The narrative may unintentionally promote guilt or inadequacy among parents whose children do not exhibit the same progress, despite following similar approaches.
- The approach may ...
Actionables
- Create a "Feelings Journal" for your child to express and navigate their emotions, using prompts that encourage reflection on what they feel and why. This can be a simple notebook where your child writes or draws about their day, focusing on moments that made them feel intensely, whether happy, sad, or frustrated. Over time, this can help them understand their emotional triggers and develop healthier ways to express and manage their feelings.
- Develop a "Comfort Corner" in your home where your child can retreat when feeling overwhelmed. This space should be equipped with items that provide sensory comfort, such as soft pillows, weighted blankets, or calming music. Encourage your child to use this space whenever they need to regulate their emotions, teaching them that it's okay to take a break and care for their mental well-being.
- Start a weekly "Resilience Building" act ...
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