Podcasts > Good Inside with Dr. Becky > Mom, Where Is My Water Bottle? And Other Executive Functioning Mysteries

Mom, Where Is My Water Bottle? And Other Executive Functioning Mysteries

By Dr. Becky

In this episode of the Good Inside with Dr. Becky podcast, Dr. Becky Kennedy and Zac Grisham delve into executive functioning, the cognitive skills that enable individuals to organize their world and manage their behavior effectively. They explain the various components of executive functioning, such as impulse inhibition, working memory, and cognitive flexibility, and how developing these skills is crucial for children's everyday lives.

The episode also explores the relationship between executive functioning and ADHD, offering strategies for building routines, fostering resilience, and improving impulse control and self-regulation. Grisham and Kennedy provide practical tips for parents and caregivers to support children in developing these essential skills, emphasizing the importance of patience, consistency, and a strengths-based approach.

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Mom, Where Is My Water Bottle? And Other Executive Functioning Mysteries

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Mom, Where Is My Water Bottle? And Other Executive Functioning Mysteries

1-Page Summary

Definition and Components of Executive Functioning

According to Zac Grisham and Becky Kennedy, executive functioning refers to cognitive skills that enable individuals to organize their world and manage their behavior effectively. These abilities, governed by the prefrontal cortex, include impulse inhibition, working memory, cognitive flexibility, planning, organization, and self-regulation.

Grisham highlights that developing executive functioning skills is crucial for children's everyday lives, yet a prolonged process as the prefrontal cortex matures throughout adolescence. Kennedy adds that repeated practice and feedback are key for children to internalize these routines over time.

Relationship Between Executive Functioning and ADHD

Children with ADHD often exhibit deficits in executive functioning skills like impulse control, focus, and task planning, per Grisham. He likens kids with ADHD to having a fast car with faulty brakes, struggling to inhibit impulses. Grisham and Kennedy advocate reframing ADHD-related challenges as skill deficits rather than personal failings to foster understanding and adaptation.

Strategies for Developing Executive Functioning

Impulse Control and Self-Regulation

Grisham and Kennedy suggest validating children's impulses, providing pauses for self-reflection, and engaging them in problem-solving after impulsive incidents to build self-control gradually.

Building Routines and Habits

According to Kennedy, visual aids like charts and using environmental cues can help establish daily routines. Both experts stress consistency is crucial, even after disruptions, for habits to develop through repetition.

Fostering Resilience and Frustration Tolerance

Reframing the goal as tolerating frustration, not eliminating it, can cultivate resilience, says Kennedy. Grisham adds that modeling problem-solving and encouraging effort over praising outcomes supports resilience, especially for children with ADHD prone to frustration.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While executive functioning is indeed crucial, some argue that overemphasis on these skills may overlook the importance of creativity and spontaneity in child development.
  • The list of executive functioning skills is not exhaustive, and different experts may emphasize additional or alternative skills as part of executive functioning.
  • The development of the prefrontal cortex and its relation to executive functioning is complex, and some research suggests that environmental factors can also play a significant role, not just age.
  • The effectiveness of repeated practice and feedback in developing executive functioning may vary among individuals, and some children may require different approaches.
  • The analogy of children with ADHD having a "fast car with faulty brakes" might oversimplify the condition and not accurately represent the experiences of all children with ADHD.
  • The strategy of reframing ADHD-related challenges solely as skill deficits may not address the biological components of the condition and the potential need for medical intervention.
  • The use of visual aids and environmental cues may not be effective for all children, and some may benefit more from other types of support or interventions.
  • The assertion that consistency is crucial for habit development may not consider the need for flexibility and adaptation in certain circumstances or for certain individuals.
  • The idea of fostering resilience by tolerating frustration might not be suitable for all children, particularly those who may have experienced trauma or have high sensitivity.
  • Encouraging effort over praising outcomes can be beneficial, but it is also important to recognize and validate children's achievements to foster a sense of accomplishment.

Actionables

- You can enhance your child's impulse control by turning decision points into games, such as "Red Light, Green Light" for when to speak or act, teaching them to pause and consider their actions in a fun and engaging way.

  • By making a game out of moments that require impulse control, children learn to associate the act of stopping and thinking with a positive experience. For example, before speaking out of turn, they might imagine a red light, prompting them to pause, and a green light when it's appropriate to go ahead. This can be practiced during family board games or even while watching TV by muting the sound at random intervals and discussing what might happen next.
  • Encourage cognitive flexibility in your child by introducing "Change of Plans" days, where you alter a routine or plan unexpectedly and work together to adapt, fostering adaptability in a safe environment.
  • This strategy involves occasionally and intentionally changing a planned activity or routine to help your child practice adapting to new situations. For instance, if you planned to go to the park but it rains, instead of showing disappointment, you could enthusiastically suggest an indoor treasure hunt. This helps your child learn to shift gears mentally and deal with changes in plans without frustration.
  • Build your child's planning skills by involving them in organizing a family event or project, like a weekend outing or a small home improvement task, where they can contribute to the planning and execution stages.
  • Involving children in real-life planning activities gives them a sense of responsibility and a practical way to develop their organizational skills. For example, if you're planning a picnic, ask your child to list what items you should bring, help decide the location, and pack the basket. This hands-on approach allows them to see the consequences of their planning and organizational choices in a tangible way.

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Mom, Where Is My Water Bottle? And Other Executive Functioning Mysteries

Definition and components of executive functioning skills

According to Zac Grisham and Becky Kennedy, executive functioning constitutes a crucial set of cognitive skills that enable an individual to manage and structure their activities and behavior effectively.

Executive functioning is the set of cognitive skills that allow us to organize our world, inhibit impulses, plan ahead, and solve problems.

As defined by Grisham, executive functioning leverages the prefrontal cortex to manage one’s world and reality. This broad skill set involves controlling instincts, maintaining working memory to address immediate problems, and planning for future events. It's the brain's control center for navigating life's complex tasks and situations.

Executive functioning skills include impulse inhibition, working memory, cognitive flexibility, planning, organization, and self-regulation.

These skills, as mentioned by Becky Kennedy, span various cognitive processes. They include the ability to resist impulses, hold information in the mind to apply to tasks (working memory), adapt thinking or strategies (cognitive flexibility), and plan ahead. Grisham adds that executive functioning also encompasses managing and regulating emotions (emotional dysregulation) and the speed at which an individual processes information (processing speed). These components together govern self-regulatory behaviors necessary for goal-directed activities.

These skills are crucial for everyday life, but can be especially challenging for children to develop.

The prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive functioning, continues to mature throughout adolescence.

Zac Grisham implies that the development of executive functions in children corresponds with the maturation of the prefrontal cortex, which continues to grow throughout adolescence. The growth of this brain region facilitates the gradual enhancement of organizational and planning s ...

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Definition and components of executive functioning skills

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Counterarguments

  • While executive functioning skills are indeed crucial, there is debate over the extent to which they are innate versus learned, and some argue that environmental factors play a larger role than the text suggests.
  • The emphasis on the prefrontal cortex may oversimplify the neural basis of executive functions, as these skills likely involve a broader network of brain regions.
  • The idea that executive functioning skills require repeated practice and feedback could be expanded to include the importance of a supportive environment and the role of socio-economic factors in their development.
  • The focus on the prefrontal cortex maturing throughout adolescence might imply a fixed timeline for development, which can vary significantly among individuals.
  • The text suggests that executive functioning skills are uniformly challenging for all children to develop, but this may not account for the diverse range of individual differences and the fact that some children may not find these skills as cha ...

Actionables

  • You can enhance your impulse inhibition by setting up a "temptation tracker" where you note down moments you successfully resist an impulse and the strategy you used. For example, if you feel the urge to check social media while working, make a mark on your tracker every time you resist, and note what helped, whether it was a reminder of your goals or the physical relocation of your phone.
  • Improve your working memory with a daily "memory chain" exercise where you add and recall one new piece of information each day. Start with a simple fact or number and each day, add a new one to the chain. Recite the chain from the beginning each time, which could be a mix of historical dates, vocabulary words, or even a sequence of numbers.
  • Develop cognitive flexibility by engaging in a "role reversal deb ...

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Mom, Where Is My Water Bottle? And Other Executive Functioning Mysteries

The relationship between executive functioning and ADHD

Zac Grisham and Becky Kennedy explore the challenges children with ADHD face, focusing on the deficits in executive functioning skills such as impulse control, focus, and task planning that often accompany the condition.

Children with ADHD often exhibit deficits in executive functioning skills like impulse control, focus, and task planning.

Grisham acknowledges the difficulties for those with ADHD, highlighting the need to inhibit impulses and plan ahead. He provides an analogy, describing kids with ADHD or executive dysfunction as having a very fast car with brakes that need work, suggesting an innate challenge in controlling impulses, part of executive functioning. ADHD diagnosis is frequently accompanied by some form of executive dysfunction, which manifests as an inability to meet developmental milestones for skills such as impulse inhibition, processing speed, short-term working memory, and focused attention.

Kennedy presents the relationship between executive functioning and ADHD as a vital perspective for parents to understand their children's struggles. This understanding can prevent parents from taking behaviors personally or seeing themselves or their children as failures. Grisham reinforces that parents, with this understanding, can be compassionate with themselves and their children, reframing challenges as part of ADHD rather than as personal failings. ...

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The relationship between executive functioning and ADHD

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While ADHD is often associated with executive dysfunction, not all individuals with ADHD may experience significant deficits in these areas, and some may develop compensatory strategies that mitigate these challenges.
  • The concept of reframing challenges as skill deficits rather than personal failings, while helpful, may oversimplify the complex interplay of individual responsibility and neurological differences in ADHD.
  • The assertion that ADHD diagnosis is frequently accompanied by executive dysfunction might be too general, as there can be considerable variability in the presentation of ADHD symptoms and executive function impairments among individuals.
  • Encouraging parents to be compassionate and to reframe challenges could potentially lead to underestimating the child's capacity for learning and personal growth, if not balanced with appropriate expectations and accountability.
  • The distinction between an explanation and an excuse might ...

Actionables

  • Create a visual progress chart to track the development of executive functioning skills in your child, focusing on small, measurable improvements. By breaking down tasks into smaller steps and celebrating each achievement, you can help your child see their progress, which reinforces their ability to focus and plan tasks. For example, use stickers or markers to indicate when your child successfully completes a homework session with improved focus or remembers to do a chore without being reminded.
  • Develop a "pause and plan" game that turns impulse control into a fun activity. During playtime, introduce games that require waiting for a signal before acting, like "Red Light, Green Light" or "Simon Says." This not only makes practicing impulse control enjoyable but also integrates these skills into daily routines. Over time, this can help your child better manage their impulses in various situations.
  • Partner with your child to creat ...

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Mom, Where Is My Water Bottle? And Other Executive Functioning Mysteries

Strategies for developing executive functioning skills in children

Zac Grisham and Becky Kennedy highlight strategies to bolster executive functioning skills in children, with a focus on impulse control and self-regulation, building routines and habits, and fostering resilience and frustration tolerance.

Impulse control and self-regulation

Grisham and Kennedy detail methods to bolster self-control in children, recognizing it as a skill that develops over time, for both children and adults.

Validating children's impulses and desires, rather than just telling them not to act on them, can help develop self-control.

Grisham underlines becoming aware of when children are most impulsive and discussing the thought process behind their actions. Kennedy adds to this by suggesting that acknowledging a child’s impulse openly and equipping the child with strategies to manage their response helps in developing self-regulation. Grisham further mentions giving children a brief pause to think before reacting, this, in turn, slows down their impulsive thoughts and provides an opportunity for self-control.

After incidents of impulsive behavior, engaging children in reflection and problem-solving can build their capacity for self-regulation.

Grisham advocates for allowing children to make mistakes but then using feedback and reflective discussions to navigate impulsivity. The discussions should query what the child was thinking and feeling, and what they could have done differently.

Building routines and habits

Kennedy and Grisham discuss how established routines can enhance organization and executive function in children.

Using visual aids, checklists, and environmental cues can help children internalize daily routines and develop organizational skills.

They suggest employing visual aids, such as charts and pictures, as reminders for completing tasks, and using the environment to signal daily routines. Grisham acknowledges the importance of visuals, particularly for those who struggle with executive dysfunction. Kennedy endorses trying out visual aids for a week to appreciate their effectiveness in managing children's routines and transitions.

Maintaining consistency with routines, even after setbacks, is key, as developing these habits takes repeated practice.

Grisham insists on the need for ongoing efforts, advising parents to get back to routines after disruptions such as vacations.

Fostering resilience and frustration tolerance

Kennedy and Grisham link resilience and frustration tolerance to the capacity for effective problem-solving and maintaining an encouraging attitude through challenges.

Reframing the goal as building children's ability to tolerate frustration, rather than eliminating frustration altogether, can cultivate resilience.

Kennedy highlights th ...

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Strategies for developing executive functioning skills in children

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While validating children's impulses is important, it may not always be practical or safe in every situation, especially if the impulse is harmful.
  • Discussing the thought process behind actions is beneficial, but some children, especially younger ones, may not have the cognitive ability to articulate or understand these processes.
  • Strategies like giving a pause before reacting assume a level of self-awareness that might not be present in all children, particularly those with developmental delays.
  • Reflective discussions post-impulse behavior are useful, but they require a level of language and cognitive skills that might not be developed in all children.
  • Visual aids and environmental cues are helpful, but they may not address underlying issues that prevent a child from following routines, such as sensory processing challenges or attention deficits.
  • Consistency with routines is important, but too rigid an approach may not accommodate the flexibility required for children to learn adaptability and coping skills in changing environments.
  • Building frustration tolerance is a valuable skill, but there may be times when immediate intervention is necessary to prevent a child from experiencing overwhelming stress or anxiety.
  • Encouraging the learning pr ...

Actionables

  • Create a "Think It Through" card deck with open-ended questions that prompt children to reflect on their impulses before acting. For example, you can design cards with questions like "What might happen if I do this?" or "Is there another way to handle this feeling?" Use these cards when you notice your child is about to make an impulsive decision, encouraging them to draw a card and discuss their thoughts with you.
  • Develop a "Frustration Scale" with your child that visually represents different levels of frustration and appropriate coping strategies for each level. This could be a simple thermometer graphic where the bottom represents calm and the top signifies high frustration. Together, brainstorm and illustrate coping strategies next to each level, such as deep breathing for mild frustration or taking a break for higher levels. Refer to this scale when your child is facing a challenging task to help them recognize their frustration level and choose a strategy to manage it.
  • Organize a weekly "Strategy Swap" with other paren ...

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