Podcasts > Good Inside with Dr. Becky > If You Think You're Bad at Meditation, Dan Harris Says You're Doing it Right.

If You Think You're Bad at Meditation, Dan Harris Says You're Doing it Right.

By Dr. Becky

In this episode, Dr. Becky Kennedy and Dan Harris explore the benefits of meditation for managing anxiety, maintaining focus, and staying present - especially for busy parents. They recommend incorporating brief mindfulness practices throughout the day, stressing consistency over perfection. Harris shares his evolution from a skeptic to an advocate of meditation's scientifically-backed mental health benefits.

He discusses how meditation helps him as a parent, grounding him in the present moment with his child. The episode offers practical tips on integrating meditation into daily routines and leading by example for kids.

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If You Think You're Bad at Meditation, Dan Harris Says You're Doing it Right.

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If You Think You're Bad at Meditation, Dan Harris Says You're Doing it Right.

1-Page Summary

Meditation for Managing Anxiety and Staying Present

Meditation Regulates Emotions and Responses

According to Becky Kennedy, meditating helps notice anxious thought patterns, like "fast forwarding" to worst-case scenarios. Dan Harris explains that recognizing this "propansha" or mind's tendency to project can help respond more presently.

Meditation Strengthens Focus and Attentiveness

Harris says meditation rewires the brain's frontal lobe for better focus and presence - invaluable for busy parents who want to stay attentive with their children.

Incorporating Meditation into Daily Routines

Brief Mindfulness Breaks Add Up

Harris and Kennedy recommend brief, informal meditation practices throughout the day, like mindfully doing dishes or walking to the bathroom. They stress consistency over perfection - even 1-2 minutes counts.

Leading by Example for Children

Children tend to emulate parents' behaviors more than follow direct instructions, Harris notes. He shares how his son started guiding peers in meditation after observing Harris's practice.

Dan Harris's Evolving Meditation Journey

From Skeptic to Embracing Science-Backed Benefits

Initially skeptical, Harris started meditating after a panic attack and to manage anxiety from past drug use. He credits the science showing meditation's mental health benefits.

Meditation for Grounding and Parenting

Becoming a parent made Harris appreciate meditation for managing reactivity, as he sees reflected in his child. Observing his son share meditation has been inspiring.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Dan Harris initially doubted the benefits of meditation but started practicing it after experiencing a panic attack and struggling with anxiety. Over time, he came to appreciate the scientific evidence supporting the positive impact of meditation on mental health and well-being. This journey from skepticism to embracing meditation's science-backed benefits has been a significant transformation for Harris, influencing his personal and professional life.
  • Managing reactivity through meditation, especially in parenting, involves using mindfulness techniques to stay calm and composed in challenging situations with children. By practicing meditation, parents can cultivate a sense of awareness and emotional regulation, which can help them respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively to their children's behaviors. This approach can lead to more harmonious parent-child interactions and contribute to a calmer and more nurturing family environment.
  • Observing his son share meditation has been inspiring: Dan Harris finds it inspiring to see his son practicing and sharing meditation techniques with others, reflecting the positive impact of meditation on his child's behavior and well-being.

Counterarguments

  • While meditation can help with noticing anxious thought patterns, it may not be a comprehensive solution for everyone, and some individuals may require additional therapeutic interventions to manage anxiety effectively.
  • The idea that meditation rewires the brain's frontal lobe is based on research, but the extent and permanence of these changes are still under investigation, and not all studies have reached the same conclusions.
  • Brief and informal practices are beneficial, but they may not provide the same depth of mindfulness or the same benefits as longer, more structured meditation sessions.
  • While leading by example is powerful, some children may not naturally follow their parents' meditation practices, and different approaches may be needed to engage them.
  • The benefits of meditation for managing reactivity and improving parenting are subjective and may vary greatly from person to person; not all parents may experience the same positive effects.
  • The narrative of transformation from skepticism to embracing meditation is a common one, but it may not reflect the experiences of those who remain skeptical or who do not find meditation beneficial even after trying it.
  • The science-backed benefits of meditation, while promising, are often derived from studies with small sample sizes, and results can be influenced by the placebo effect or researcher bias.
  • Observing children imitating meditation practices can be inspiring, but it's important to recognize that children's understanding and practice of meditation may differ significantly from adults and may require age-appropriate adaptations.

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If You Think You're Bad at Meditation, Dan Harris Says You're Doing it Right.

The benefits of meditation for managing anxiety and staying present in the moment

Dan Harris and Becky Kennedy both advocate for the use of meditation as a tool to manage anxiety and enhance one's ability to remain present.

Meditation can help regulate emotions and respond with more intention in challenging parenting situations

Kennedy shares a personal anecdote about "fast forwarding" to extreme, fear-based outcomes—like her child becoming a sociopath—when he wouldn't clean his room. She suggests that by practicing mindfulness, she might be able to notice this anxiety-driven projection and respond in a more grounded manner.

Meditation builds awareness of anxious thought patterns and the tendency to catastrophize or "fast forward" to worst-case scenarios

Harris discusses the condition known as "fast forwarding," where individuals rush ahead in their minds to worry about the future. He finds it beneficial to remember that this is a common and known pattern, thereby reframing it from being a personal fault to a recognized habit that one can address.

Noticing and naming this "propansha" or "imperialistic tendency of the mind" can help short-circuit it and respond with more grounded presence

Harris explains that mindfulness gained through meditation can help people catch themselves in a moment of "propansha," the mind's tendency to project into the future. By recognizing this pattern, individuals can let go of these projections and respond to the actual situation at hand. Kennedy concurs, noting that the act of naming this tendency can lighten the moment's intensity and add a ...

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The benefits of meditation for managing anxiety and staying present in the moment

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • "Fast forwarding" to extreme, fear-based outcomes is a cognitive tendency where individuals quickly jump to imagining worst-case scenarios or negative consequences in the future, often driven by anxiety or fear. This habit involves projecting ahead in one's mind to anticipate and dwell on potential dangers or unfavorable situations that may not actually come to pass. It can lead to heightened stress and emotional distress as individuals focus on these imagined negative outcomes rather than staying grounded in the present moment. Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help individuals recognize and interrupt this pattern, allowing them to respond more calmly and rationally to challenging situations.
  • The frontal lobe is a region of the brain responsible for functions like decision-making, problem-solving, and emotional control. "Rewiring" the frontal lobe through meditation implies that the practice can lead to changes in the brain's neural connections, potentially enhancing focus, attention, and emotional regulation. This process is often associated with neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Meditation is believed to positively impact the structure and function of the brain, including the frontal lobe, through consi ...

Counterarguments

  • While meditation can be beneficial, it may not be suitable for everyone, and some individuals may find it difficult to practice due to underlying mental health issues like severe anxiety or trauma.
  • There is a risk of oversimplifying the complexity of anxiety disorders by suggesting meditation as a one-size-fits-all solution.
  • The effectiveness of meditation can vary greatly among individuals, and some may not experience the same level of benefit in managing anxiety or staying present.
  • The claim that meditation rewires the frontal lobe may be an oversimplification of the neuroscientific understanding of how meditation affects the brain.
  • There may be cultural and spiritual considerations that make meditation practices less accessible or appropriate for some individuals.
  • The time commitment required for meditation can be a barrier for some, especially busy parents, and may not be rea ...

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If You Think You're Bad at Meditation, Dan Harris Says You're Doing it Right.

Practical strategies for busy parents to incorporate brief, informal meditation practices into their daily routines

Dan Harris and Becky Kennedy provide valuable insights on how parents with hectic schedules can weave brief moments of mindfulness into their routine to cultivate a habit of practice that benefits not only themselves but potentially their children as well.

Small, daily "mindfulness breaks" throughout the day can have a significant cumulative impact

Throughout the discussion, Harris underscores the concept of "mindfulness breaks," frequent short periods of meditation that can be integrated into everyday activities.

Utilizing natural transition points like doing dishes, walking to the bathroom, or other routine tasks as opportunities to briefly tune into physical sensations

Harris and Kennedy highlight that day-to-day activities offer abundant opportunities for informal meditation. Harris suggests using natural transitions in the day for mindfulness practice. For example, he speaks about using times like unloading the dishwasher as a chance to focus on the present by attending to sensory experiences such as feeling the moisture or temperature while doing the task. Kennedy also shares her practice of walking to the bathroom without her phone as a break to focus on the moment.

The key is aiming for consistency rather at perfection - even 1-2 minutes counts and allows for inevitable lapses

Harris emphasizes the importance of aiming for consistency rather than perfection in meditation practice, indicating that short durations, even one or two minutes, have significant value. He mentions the mantras "one minute counts" and "daily-ish" and encourages the idea that it's okay to have lapses.

Modeling meditation and mindfulness for children can organically inspire them to adopt these practices themselves

Harris and Kennedy argue that informal meditation practices not only benefit the parents but can also positively influence children.

Children are more likely to emulate parents' behaviors than directly follow instructions

When discussing how to encourage children to meditate, Harris suggests that direct instruction is less effective than leading by example. By observing their parents integrate meditation into daily activities, children are more inclined to adopt similar behavi ...

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Practical strategies for busy parents to incorporate brief, informal meditation practices into their daily routines

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • "Mindfulness breaks" are short periods of meditation integrated into daily activities. They serve as moments to pause, tune into the present moment, and focus on sensory experiences. These breaks help cultivate mindfulness, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being. Consistency in practicing these brief mindfulness breaks is more important than achieving perfection in meditation.
  • Integrating meditation into daily activities involves incorporating mindfulness practices into routine tasks like washing dishes or walking, using these moments to focus on the present and sensory experiences. The idea is to find natural transition points in your day to pause and tune into your surroundings, even for just a couple of minutes, to cultivate a habit of mindfulness. By weaving these short meditation breaks into your daily routine consistently, you can benefit from the cumulative impact of these brief moments of reflection and presence. The goal is not perfection but regularity, allowing for lapses and imperfections in your practice while still reaping the benefits of incorporating mindfulness into your busy schedule.
  • Consistency over perfection in meditation emphasizes the value of regular practice, even for short durations, rather than striving for flawless sessions. It encourages individuals to prioritize the frequency of meditation over achieving ideal conditions or outcomes. This approach recognizes that establishing a consistent habit of meditation, no matter how brief, can lead to long-term benefits for mental well-being. The focus is on making meditation a sustainable part of daily life, acknowledging that occasional lapses are normal and should not deter one from continuing the practice.
  • Modeling meditation for children involves parents practicing mindfulness themselves, allowing children to observe and learn by example. Children are more inclined to adopt meditation practices when they see their parents engaging in them regularly. By integrating meditation into daily activities, parents can organically inspire their children to explore and embrace mindfulness practices in their own unique ways. This approach emphasizes the importance of leading by example rather than solely relying on direct instructions.
  • Children emulating parents' behaviors means that children often learn and adopt certain habits, actions, or attitudes by observing and imitating what their parents do rather than following direct instructions. This behavior modeling by parents can significantly influence how children behave and react in various situations, including activities like meditation and mindfulness practices. Children ...

Counterarguments

  • While small, daily "mindfulness breaks" may have a cumulative impact, some research suggests that longer, sustained periods of meditation may be necessary to achieve certain mental health benefits, such as reducing symptoms of anxiety or depression.
  • Utilizing natural transition points for mindfulness can be helpful, but for some individuals, this approach may not provide the structured environment they need to fully engage with the practice, potentially limiting its effectiveness.
  • Consistency is important, but without some focus on the quality of meditation, individuals may not experience the full range of benefits; poor technique or half-hearted engagement during brief sessions may not yield significant improvements in mindfulness.
  • While modeling behavior is a powerful method of teaching, some children may require more explicit instruction or guidance to understand and adopt meditation practices, especially if they have different learning styles or needs.
  • Emulating parents' behaviors is common in children, b ...

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If You Think You're Bad at Meditation, Dan Harris Says You're Doing it Right.

Dan Harris's personal journey with meditation and how his perspective has evolved over the 10 years since writing his book "10% Happier"

A decade following the publication of "10% Happier," Dan Harris reflects on his evolving journey with meditation and how the practice has deepened its roots in his life, particularly after becoming a parent.

Harris initially approached meditation very skeptically but was won over by the research on its benefits

His panic attack on national TV and subsequent journey with anxiety and drug use led him to explore meditation as a tool for self-regulation

Dan Harris recalls the stark transition from a skeptical journalist to a meditation advocate. His skepticism was shattered by the hard facts of science that illuminated meditation's myriad benefits. A panic attack on live TV during his time as a news anchor on "Good Morning America" propelled him on this path. This event steered Harris towards therapy and, despite his initial resistance, towards meditation.

Following the incident, he confronted the self-destructive behaviors he exhibited after working as a war correspondent post-9/11, including drug use which had impacted his brain chemistry. Harris credits the science-backed benefits of meditation—such as its ability to rewire the brain, lower blood pressure, and alleviate anxiety and depression—for playing a decisive role in his decision to embrace the practice. His consistent routine has led to a notable positive impact on his mental health and overall well-being, even amid challenging life phases including his wife's health battles and professional tribulations.

Becoming a parent has deepened Harris's appreciation for meditation as a means of staying grounded and emotionally available

Meditation helps him manage his own reactivity and tendencies he sees reflected in his child

Parenting has added a new dimension to Harris's perspective on meditation. Harris discusses how parenthood has introduced new inquiries about seamlessly integrating meditation into a hectic life and the importance of emotional presence. He finds that meditation aids in managing reactivity, particularly when he sees his own less-favorable traits, like anxiety, mirrored in his child.

Observing his son spontaneously sharing meditation practices with hi ...

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Dan Harris's personal journey with meditation and how his perspective has evolved over the 10 years since writing his book "10% Happier"

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Dan Harris experienced a panic attack on live television during his time as a news anchor on "Good Morning America." This event was a pivotal moment that led him to explore meditation as a tool for self-regulation and managing anxiety. The panic attack highlighted the importance of mental health and self-care in his life, ultimately influencing his journey with meditation and personal growth.
  • Dan Harris worked as a news anchor on "Good Morning America," a popular morning television show in the United States. As a news anchor, he was responsible for delivering the latest news, interviews, and feature stories to the audience. His role on the show provided him with a platform to reach a wide audience and share his experiences and insights. His time on "Good Morning America" was significant in his career and personal journey, including the pivotal moment of experiencing a panic attack on live TV.
  • Dan Harris worked as a war correspondent post-9/11, covering stories in conflict zones. This experience exposed him to the harsh realities of war and its impact on individuals and communities. The stress and trauma of reporting from such environments contributed to his struggles with anxiety and led him towards self-destructive behaviors. Harris has spoken about how this period in his life influenced his mental health journey and eventual embrace of meditation as a tool for self-regulation.
  • Dan Harris mentioned self-destructive behaviors he exhibited after working as a war correspondent post-9/11, including drug use, which had impacted his brain chemistry. These behaviors were part of his coping mechanisms following traumatic ...

Counterarguments

  • While scientific evidence supports the benefits of meditation, it is not a one-size-fits-all solution and may not be as effective for everyone.
  • Some individuals may find that meditation does not significantly help with anxiety or self-regulation, or they may struggle with the practice due to various mental health issues.
  • The positive changes attributed to meditation could also be a result of other lifestyle changes, therapy, or a combination of interventions, not meditation alone.
  • The idea that becoming a parent deepens appreciation for meditation might not resonate with all parents, who may find that the demands of parenthood make it more difficult to maintain a consistent practice.
  • There is a risk of romanticizing the impact of meditation on parenting, as it may not address all the complexities and challenges involved in raising a child.
  • Harris's decision to update "10% Happier" ...

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