Podcasts > Good Inside with Dr. Becky > Stressed Out & Maxed Out

Stressed Out & Maxed Out

By Dr. Becky

Dive into a refreshing take on stress management with "Good Inside with Dr. Becky" as Dr. Becky Kennedy and guest speaker Jenny Tates reveal quick and effective techniques to soothe the mind and body. In an engaging discussion, they explore the STOP skill and anchoring techniques that can be practiced without resorting to long meditations or medication. Tates's acclaimed work, "Stress Resets, How to Soothe Your Mind and Body in Minutes," is praised for its approach designed to help, especially in the context of parenting, demonstrating how simple methods can empower individuals with immediate stress control, leading to a sense of calm and mastery.

Rather than viewing stress as a negative force, the episode presents it as a valuable opportunity to fortify personal values. Tates and Kennedy talk about changing stress mindsets, reinforcing the idea that stress can act as a "workout for your values," and that emotions, like waves, are transient and manageable. Further exploring the link between actions and emotions, they discuss the profound effects of opposite action and the concept of 'little joy snacks' for emotional well-being. This conversation is a guide to understanding how tiny self-care practices and aligning behaviors and thoughts can disrupt the stress cycle and lead to healthier emotional states.

Listen to the original

Stressed Out & Maxed Out

This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Feb 6, 2024 episode of the Good Inside with Dr. Becky

Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.

Stressed Out & Maxed Out

1-Page Summary

Managing stress without long meditations or medication

Dr. Jenny Tates and Becky Kennedy recommend strategies that work quickly to soothe the mind and body without the need for long meditations or medication. Tates introduces the STOP skill—Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully—to help pause and manage stress. Anchoring techniques are also endorsed, such as grounding oneself by physically feeling the floor beneath your feet. Engaging in opposite action behaviors, like walking when anxious, is another suggested tactic for shifting difficult emotions quickly. Tates's book, "Stress Resets, How to Soothe Your Mind and Body in Minutes," is commended by Kennedy for its simplicity and effectiveness, targeting stress management particularly in parenting. The empowerment through such techniques encourages immediate and effective stress control, fostering calmness and control.

Reframing stress mindsets as "workouts for your values"

Stress is considered by Tates as a constructive challenge that tests and exercises personal values, rather than an inherently negative phenomenon. She believes recognizing stress as inevitable and reframing the mindset towards it can help individuals grow stronger in their commitments to their values. The mantra "emotions come in waves” is introduced to reinforce that emotions are temporary and should not guide actions. Tates also highlights the importance of sufficient sleep for better emotional regulation, comparing adults' needs for consistent sleep schedules to those of children.

Changing behaviors to change emotions

Behavioral alterations can lead to changes in emotional states, as explained by Kennedy and Tates. They discuss the significance of opposite action and the impact of deliberately making choices even when stressed. Differentiating between willingness and willfulness in coping, Tates covers the importance of small self-care actions, such as slow breathing, to cause positive emotional shifts. To counteract ongoing stress, Tates suggests incorporating 'little joy snacks' throughout the day to break the cycle and promote more positive moods. Aligning thoughts with deliberate behaviors to challenge and change the stress cycle, the conversation emphasizes making long-term beneficial choices—like reaching out to friends or initiating reconciliation post-conflict—despite short-term reluctance.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The STOP skill is an acronym that stands for Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully. It is a technique used to help individuals pause and manage stress effectively in the moment. By following these steps, individuals can create a brief pause to assess their thoughts and emotions before responding. This method aims to promote mindfulness and intentional actions in stressful situations.
  • Anchoring techniques for stress management involve grounding oneself by focusing on physical sensations, like feeling the floor beneath your feet. These techniques help bring awareness to the present moment and can provide a sense of stability during stressful situations. By anchoring oneself in the physical environment, individuals can reduce anxiety and promote a sense of calmness. Such practices aim to help individuals stay connected to the present moment and manage stress effectively.
  • Reframing stress as "workouts for your values" means viewing stress as an opportunity to test and strengthen your personal beliefs and principles. Instead of seeing stress as purely negative, this perspective encourages seeing it as a challenge that can help you grow and reaffirm your commitment to what you value. By approaching stress in this way, individuals can shift their mindset to see it as a chance for personal development and resilience-building. This mindset shift can lead to a more positive and empowering relationship with stress, emphasizing the idea that facing challenges can align with and reinforce one's core values.
  • Differentiating between willingness and willfulness in coping involves understanding the distinction between being open and accepting of difficult emotions (willingness) versus resisting or fighting against them (willfulness). Willingness in coping entails acknowledging and experiencing emotions without judgment, allowing them to pass naturally. Willfulness, on the other hand, involves trying to suppress or control emotions, which can lead to increased distress. By practicing willingness, individuals can cultivate a more adaptive and healthier approach to managing stress and challenging emotions.
  • Incorporating 'little joy snacks' throughout the day involves engaging in small, enjoyable activities or moments that bring happiness and positivity. These moments act as brief breaks from stress and can help uplift mood and overall well-being. They serve as quick, accessible ways to introduce moments of joy and relaxation into a busy day. These 'little joy snacks' can be simple pleasures like listening to a favorite song, taking a short walk, enjoying a cup of tea, or any other small activity that brings happiness.

Counterarguments

  • The STOP skill may not be effective for everyone, as individuals have different responses to stress management techniques.
  • Grounding techniques might not be practical in all situations, especially where someone cannot physically feel the floor or is in a non-conducive environment.
  • Opposite action behaviors could potentially exacerbate stress for some people if the activity chosen increases their anxiety or discomfort.
  • The simplicity of the strategies in "Stress Resets" might not address complex stress-related issues that require more in-depth intervention.
  • Viewing stress as a constructive challenge may not be helpful for individuals with certain mental health conditions, such as anxiety disorders, where stress can be debilitating.
  • The idea that stress can be a "workout for your values" might not resonate with everyone, particularly those who experience stress as overwhelming rather than motivating.
  • The comparison of adults' sleep needs to children's might oversimplify the complexities of adult sleep patterns and the variety of factors that can affect them.
  • Behavioral changes leading to emotional changes may not always hold true, as some emotional states are deeply rooted and require more than just behavioral adjustments.
  • Small self-care actions may not be sufficient for individuals dealing with chronic stress or more severe mental health issues.
  • The concept of 'little joy snacks' might not be feasible for people in high-stress environments where they have little control over their schedule or surroundings.
  • Aligning thoughts with deliberate behaviors assumes a level of cognitive control that may not be accessible to everyone, particularly during periods of intense stress or for those with certain cognitive impairments.
  • The emphasis on making long-term beneficial choices could inadvertently pressure individuals who are struggling to cope with immediate stressors and may not have the capacity to focus on long-term planning.

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Stressed Out & Maxed Out

Managing stress without long meditations or medication

Dr. Jenny Tates and Becky Kennedy share practical strategies that can quickly soothe the mind and body without relying on long meditation sessions, medication, or other less effective methods.

Stress resets to soothe your mind and body quickly

STOP skill to slow down thoughts and emotions

Dr. Jenny Tates introduces a simple technique called the STOP skill, which stands for Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully. This method is designed to help individuals slow down their thoughts and manage stress by pausing to observe their mental state before reacting impulsively.

Anchoring techniques to feel grounded when stressed

Tates also suggests using the anchoring technique when feeling stressed, which can be as simple as placing your feet firmly on the ground, doing a three-point check by asking yourself what you are thinking, feeling, and compelled to do at the moment. Becky Kennedy agrees, emphasizing the physical act of grounding oneself to break the cycle of stress. Tates talks about "digging your heels into the floor" as an effective form of anchoring. Similarly, Kennedy recommends telling oneself "my feet are on the ground" repeatedly as a stress reset to help calm the sensation of being ungrounded.

Opposite action behaviors to shift difficult emotions

The concept of opposite action behaviors is to shift difficult emotions by behaving in a way that is opposite to one's current feeling. For example, engaging in a physical activity like going for a walk when feeling the urge to withdraw due to anxiety.

Dr. Jenny Tates authored "Stress Resets, How to Soothe Your Mind and Body in Minutes," a book discussing how music, described as "music medicine," can alleviate stress and provide an almost equally eff ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Managing stress without long meditations or medication

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The STOP skill is a technique that involves four steps: Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully. It helps individuals slow down their thoughts and manage stress by pausing to observe their mental state before reacting impulsively. This method aims to promote mindfulness and prevent impulsive reactions during stressful situations.
  • Anchoring techniques are methods used to help individuals feel grounded and centered during times of stress. These techniques involve physical actions, like focusing on the sensation of one's feet on the ground, to create a sense of stability and calmness. By anchoring oneself, individuals can break the cycle of stress and regain a sense of control in challenging situations.
  • Opposite action behaviors involve acting in a way that is contrary to one's current emotions to manage and shift difficult feelings effectively. This technique encourages individuals to engage in behaviors opposite to their initial impulses, such as engaging in activities that counteract negative emotions. By consciously choosing actions that go against their current emotional state, individuals can disrupt unhelpful patterns and promote emotional regulation. Opposite action behaviors are a strategy commonly used in dialectical behavior therapy to help individuals cope with intense emotions and improve emotional well-being.
  • ...

Counterarguments

  • While the STOP skill is a useful technique, it may not be effective for everyone, especially in high-stress situations where it can be difficult to remember or apply such strategies.
  • Anchoring techniques assume that one has the physical and mental capacity to ground themselves, which may not be the case for individuals with certain disabilities or those experiencing extreme panic or dissociation.
  • Opposite action behaviors could potentially lead to avoidance of underlying issues if used as a sole coping mechanism, rather than addressing the root causes of difficult emotions.
  • The efficacy of music as "music medicine" can vary greatly among individuals, and while it may help some, it might not be a suitable replacement for anti-anxiety medication for those with severe anxiety disorders.
  • The advice not to allow stress to accumulate is sound, but it may oversimplify the complexities involved in managing chronic stress or stress resulting from systemic issues that are not easily controlled by individual actions.
  • The recommendation to engage in fulfilling acti ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Stressed Out & Maxed Out

Reframing stress mindsets as "workouts for your values"

Tates proposes a novel approach to stress, portraying it as an opportunity to reinforce and exercise personal values, rather than as an inherently negative experience.

Stress is inevitable, but catastrophizing makes it worse

The notion that stress is an unavoidable aspect of life is key to Tates's perspective. She advises that instead of viewing stress negatively or letting it escalate, people should see stress as a chance to test and strengthen their commitments to their values.

Mantra "emotions come in waves" to remember feelings pass

Kennedy and Tates discuss the importance of recognizing that emotions, including stress, are transient. They convey the idea that stress is like waves that come and go, which assists in mitigating the tendency to catastrophize. Tates introduces a mantra, "emotions come in waves," to remind individuals that feelings are fleeting and should not dictate actions.

G ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Reframing stress mindsets as "workouts for your values"

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Tates's perspective on stress as an opportunity to reinforce personal values suggests that instead of viewing stress as purely negative, individuals can use it as a chance to align their actions with what they truly value. By facing stress with this mindset, people can see it as a way to practice and strengthen their commitment to their core beliefs and principles. This approach reframes stress from being overwhelming to being a challenge that can help individuals grow and stay true to what matters most to them. It encourages individuals to see stress as a natural part of life that can be harnessed positively to live in accordance with their values.
  • Catastrophizing stress is the act of magnifying or exaggerating the negative aspects of a stressful situation, making it seem much worse than it actually is. This mindset can lead to increased anxiety, fear, and a sense of helplessness. It involves assuming the worst possible outcome and dwelling on it excessively, which can further intensify feelings of stress and overwhelm. By reframing stress as an opportunity to strengthen personal values, individuals can shift away from catastrophizing and approach stress in a more constructive and empowering manner.
  • When stress is reframed as an opportunity to test and strengthen commitments to personal values, it means using challenging situations to reaffirm what is truly important to you. By facing stress with this mindset, individuals can align their actions with their core beliefs and priorities. This approach encourages resilience and growth by v ...

Counterarguments

  • While stress can be reframed as a "workout for your values," not all stress is conducive to personal growth, and some can be damaging or indicative of harmful situations that should be changed rather than endured.
  • Stress may be inevitable, but the degree and type of stress experienced can vary widely, and some stressors can and should be mitigated or eliminated.
  • While catastrophizing stress is unhelpful, it's important to acknowledge and address the real impacts of stress rather than minimizing them.
  • Stress can sometimes undermine personal values rather than reinforce them, especially if it leads to burnout or ethical lapses under pressure.
  • The transience of emotions does not negate the need for proactive stress management strategies and coping mechanisms for when stress is persistent.
  • The analogy of stress as waves might not resonate with everyone, and some may find other metaphors or conceptualizations more helpful.
  • The mantra "emotions come in waves" might not be effective for everyone, and some individuals may require more structured psychological interventions.
  • While sleep is crucial for emoti ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Stressed Out & Maxed Out

Changing behaviors to change emotions

Kennedy and Jenny Tates discuss how altering our behaviors can change our emotional states, emphasizing the strategy of opposite action and the importance of making deliberate choices, even under stress.

Willingness vs. willfulness in coping choices

Kennedy introduces the idea that behavior resets can interrupt a stress cycle and start a more virtuous, positive cycle, although no specific example is provided. Both Kennedy and Tates discuss the contrast between willingness and willfulness when it comes to coping with stress.

Doing small self-care actions even when stressed

Jenny Tates delves into the concept of opposite action—deliberately choosing behaviors contrary to what one's emotions might naturally lead to, especially if those natural reactions do not align with long-term goals. This includes performing small self-care activities, such as using a slow breathing app or focusing on one's breath, even when stressed, to help create a positive shift in emotions. Tates also suggests engaging in behaviors that could serve as a reset, like smiling at a stranger, even under stress.

Plotting little joy snacks throughout the day

Tates mentions that when people are stressed, they often perpetuate their feelings through behaviors like shutting down or snapping at others. She shares the importance of plotting joy throughout the day in the form of 'little joy snacks,' although specific examples were not provided in the transcript chunk. The idea is based on intentional actions that can help mitigate stress and foster a po ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Changing behaviors to change emotions

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Behavior resets interrupting stress cycles involve consciously changing one's actions in response to stress triggers to break the pattern of negative emotions and reactions. By deliberately choosing different behaviors, individuals can disrupt the automatic stress response and initiate a more positive cycle of emotions and actions. This strategy emphasizes the power of intentional actions in influencing emotional states and promoting healthier coping mechanisms. Implementing behavior resets can help individuals shift from unproductive or harmful responses to stress towards more constructive and beneficial behaviors.
  • Congruent thinking while acting involves aligning your thoughts and beliefs with the actions you are taking. It means ensuring that ...

Counterarguments

  • Behavioral changes may not always lead to emotional changes due to underlying mental health issues that require more than just behavioral strategies.
  • The opposite action strategy might not be suitable for everyone, as it could lead to suppression of emotions rather than healthy coping.
  • Deliberate choices under stress can be difficult to make, and expecting individuals to always make the right choice is unrealistic.
  • Behavior resets may not address the root causes of stress, potentially leading to temporary relief rather than long-term solutions.
  • The concept of willingness versus willfulness might oversimplify the complex nature of coping mechanisms and individual differences in stress responses.
  • Small self-care actions might not be sufficient for those experiencing severe stress or trauma, who may need professional support.
  • Engaging in behaviors that serve as a reset, like smiling at a stranger, may not be effective for everyone and could be misinterpreted by others.
  • The idea of plotting 'little joy snacks' throughout the day may not take into account the varying levels of stress and the individual's capacity to experience joy during high-stress periods.
  • The emphasis on congruent thinking while acting may not acknowledge the difficulty of changing th ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free

Create Summaries for anything on the web

Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser

Shortform Extension CTA