Dive into a refreshing take on stress management with "Good Inside with Dr. Becky" as Dr. Becky Kennedy and guest speaker Jenny Tates reveal quick and effective techniques to soothe the mind and body. In an engaging discussion, they explore the STOP skill and anchoring techniques that can be practiced without resorting to long meditations or medication. Tates's acclaimed work, "Stress Resets, How to Soothe Your Mind and Body in Minutes," is praised for its approach designed to help, especially in the context of parenting, demonstrating how simple methods can empower individuals with immediate stress control, leading to a sense of calm and mastery.
Rather than viewing stress as a negative force, the episode presents it as a valuable opportunity to fortify personal values. Tates and Kennedy talk about changing stress mindsets, reinforcing the idea that stress can act as a "workout for your values," and that emotions, like waves, are transient and manageable. Further exploring the link between actions and emotions, they discuss the profound effects of opposite action and the concept of 'little joy snacks' for emotional well-being. This conversation is a guide to understanding how tiny self-care practices and aligning behaviors and thoughts can disrupt the stress cycle and lead to healthier emotional states.
Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.
Dr. Jenny Tates and Becky Kennedy recommend strategies that work quickly to soothe the mind and body without the need for long meditations or medication. Tates introduces the STOP skill—Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully—to help pause and manage stress. Anchoring techniques are also endorsed, such as grounding oneself by physically feeling the floor beneath your feet. Engaging in opposite action behaviors, like walking when anxious, is another suggested tactic for shifting difficult emotions quickly. Tates's book, "Stress Resets, How to Soothe Your Mind and Body in Minutes," is commended by Kennedy for its simplicity and effectiveness, targeting stress management particularly in parenting. The empowerment through such techniques encourages immediate and effective stress control, fostering calmness and control.
Stress is considered by Tates as a constructive challenge that tests and exercises personal values, rather than an inherently negative phenomenon. She believes recognizing stress as inevitable and reframing the mindset towards it can help individuals grow stronger in their commitments to their values. The mantra "emotions come in waves” is introduced to reinforce that emotions are temporary and should not guide actions. Tates also highlights the importance of sufficient sleep for better emotional regulation, comparing adults' needs for consistent sleep schedules to those of children.
Behavioral alterations can lead to changes in emotional states, as explained by Kennedy and Tates. They discuss the significance of opposite action and the impact of deliberately making choices even when stressed. Differentiating between willingness and willfulness in coping, Tates covers the importance of small self-care actions, such as slow breathing, to cause positive emotional shifts. To counteract ongoing stress, Tates suggests incorporating 'little joy snacks' throughout the day to break the cycle and promote more positive moods. Aligning thoughts with deliberate behaviors to challenge and change the stress cycle, the conversation emphasizes making long-term beneficial choices—like reaching out to friends or initiating reconciliation post-conflict—despite short-term reluctance.
1-Page Summary
Dr. Jenny Tates and Becky Kennedy share practical strategies that can quickly soothe the mind and body without relying on long meditation sessions, medication, or other less effective methods.
Dr. Jenny Tates introduces a simple technique called the STOP skill, which stands for Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully. This method is designed to help individuals slow down their thoughts and manage stress by pausing to observe their mental state before reacting impulsively.
Tates also suggests using the anchoring technique when feeling stressed, which can be as simple as placing your feet firmly on the ground, doing a three-point check by asking yourself what you are thinking, feeling, and compelled to do at the moment. Becky Kennedy agrees, emphasizing the physical act of grounding oneself to break the cycle of stress. Tates talks about "digging your heels into the floor" as an effective form of anchoring. Similarly, Kennedy recommends telling oneself "my feet are on the ground" repeatedly as a stress reset to help calm the sensation of being ungrounded.
The concept of opposite action behaviors is to shift difficult emotions by behaving in a way that is opposite to one's current feeling. For example, engaging in a physical activity like going for a walk when feeling the urge to withdraw due to anxiety.
Dr. Jenny Tates authored "Stress Resets, How to Soothe Your Mind and Body in Minutes," a book discussing how music, described as "music medicine," can alleviate stress and provide an almost equally eff ...
Managing stress without long meditations or medication
Tates proposes a novel approach to stress, portraying it as an opportunity to reinforce and exercise personal values, rather than as an inherently negative experience.
The notion that stress is an unavoidable aspect of life is key to Tates's perspective. She advises that instead of viewing stress negatively or letting it escalate, people should see stress as a chance to test and strengthen their commitments to their values.
Kennedy and Tates discuss the importance of recognizing that emotions, including stress, are transient. They convey the idea that stress is like waves that come and go, which assists in mitigating the tendency to catastrophize. Tates introduces a mantra, "emotions come in waves," to remind individuals that feelings are fleeting and should not dictate actions.
Reframing stress mindsets as "workouts for your values"
Kennedy and Jenny Tates discuss how altering our behaviors can change our emotional states, emphasizing the strategy of opposite action and the importance of making deliberate choices, even under stress.
Kennedy introduces the idea that behavior resets can interrupt a stress cycle and start a more virtuous, positive cycle, although no specific example is provided. Both Kennedy and Tates discuss the contrast between willingness and willfulness when it comes to coping with stress.
Jenny Tates delves into the concept of opposite action—deliberately choosing behaviors contrary to what one's emotions might naturally lead to, especially if those natural reactions do not align with long-term goals. This includes performing small self-care activities, such as using a slow breathing app or focusing on one's breath, even when stressed, to help create a positive shift in emotions. Tates also suggests engaging in behaviors that could serve as a reset, like smiling at a stranger, even under stress.
Tates mentions that when people are stressed, they often perpetuate their feelings through behaviors like shutting down or snapping at others. She shares the importance of plotting joy throughout the day in the form of 'little joy snacks,' although specific examples were not provided in the transcript chunk. The idea is based on intentional actions that can help mitigate stress and foster a po ...
Changing behaviors to change emotions
Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser