Good Inside Parenting is Not Gentle Parenting

How can we raise kids to be self-confident, independent, and compassionate? In Unconditional Parenting, author and lecturer Alfie Kohn argues that we should throw away the standard parenting rulebook and replace it with a new approach built on unconditional support, acceptance, and understanding.

Find out what kids really need from their parents, why using rewards and punishments doesn’t work (and can even backfire) in the long term, and what you can do to make your kids feel loved and valued for who they are rather than what they do.

In this guide, we highlight Kohn’s practical advice and add a few more techniques to try out. We also update Kohn’s research and consider ideas from development experts with similar approaches, including Maria Montessori and Janet Lansbury.

Many successful leaders and businesspeople are lauded as “great geniuses,” but psychologist Angela Duckworth argues that talent and intelligence matter less to success than grit: the personality trait behind perseverance, hard work, and goal-setting. In Grit, she explores what grit is, where it comes from, how it drives success, and how you can develop it.

Duckworth is primarily interested in how to raise gritty kids, and her insights have inspired parents and educators around the globe since the book’s publication in 2016. However, she believes that adults, too, can develop grit, and she lays out specific, measurable ways to do so.

Her work has fueled debates about which matters more—talent or effort. In this guide, we examine these controversies and consider insights from other psychologists who either support Duckworth’s ideas or reveal nuances of them.

No, you’re not a bad parent. And your kids are actually good kids—parenting is just hard. Do you wish it came with a manual? Clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy’s Good Inside might be just what you need.

Good Inside is a parenting manual to help you make changes in your child’s behavior while building a positive relationship with them. Most parenting advice sees children’s behavior as a problem to be fixed through time-outs, rewards, and serious conversations. But Becky Kennedy argues that these strategies jeopardize your connection with your children. That’s a high price to pay for band-aid strategies that don't deal with the root causes of problematic behaviors.

Our guide lays out the core principles of Kennedy’s approach to parenting, her essential toolkit for dealing with challenging behavior, and strategies to deal with 10 common parenting challenges. We complement Kennedy’s advice with that of other experts, including the authors of parenting classics The Whole-Brain Child, 1-2-3 Magic, and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

How can we raise kids to be self-confident, independent, and compassionate? In Unconditional Parenting, author and lecturer Alfie Kohn argues that we should throw away the standard parenting rulebook and replace it with a new approach built on unconditional support, acceptance, and understanding.

Find out what kids really need from their parents, why using rewards and punishments doesn’t work (and can even backfire) in the long term, and what you can do to make your kids feel loved and valued for who they are rather than what they do.

In this guide, we highlight Kohn’s practical advice and add a few more techniques to try out. We also update Kohn’s research and consider ideas from development experts with similar approaches, including Maria Montessori and Janet Lansbury.

When your child acts out, punishment may stop the bad behavior right now, but praising positive actions will lead to better behavior in the future.

No, you’re not a bad parent. And your kids are actually good kids—parenting is just hard. Do you wish it came with a manual? Clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy’s Good Inside might be just what you need.

Good Inside is a parenting manual to help you make changes in your child’s behavior while building a positive relationship with them. Most parenting advice sees children’s behavior as a problem to be fixed through time-outs, rewards, and serious conversations. But Becky Kennedy argues that these strategies jeopardize your connection with your children. That’s a high price to pay for band-aid strategies that don't deal with the root causes of problematic behaviors.

Our guide lays out the core principles of Kennedy’s approach to parenting, her essential toolkit for dealing with challenging behavior, and strategies to deal with 10 common parenting challenges. We complement Kennedy’s advice with that of other experts, including the authors of parenting classics The Whole-Brain Child, 1-2-3 Magic, and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk helps parents build mutually respectful relationships with their children. Written by two educators, it’s been dubbed “the parenting bible” by The Boston Globe. Although it was published over 40 years ago, it remains popular because of its concrete advice on how to communicate in a way that shows your child you hear them and care about how they feel.

Having to say no to your child can make you seem like the enemy. The ideas in this book can shift that dynamic and show the child you’re on their side. Instead of getting locked in power struggles, you can work together to solve problems. You’ll learn how to give effective praise, respond when your child says they “hate” someone, get your child to cooperate, promote their independence, and get better behavior without punishment. This guide updates the material in the book and includes additional research about effective parenting techniques, including newer brain research that supports the authors’ original recommendations.

How can we raise kids to be self-confident, independent, and compassionate? In Unconditional Parenting, author and lecturer Alfie Kohn argues that we should throw away the standard parenting rulebook and replace it with a new approach built on unconditional support, acceptance, and understanding.

Find out what kids really need from their parents, why using rewards and punishments doesn’t work (and can even backfire) in the long term, and what you can do to make your kids feel loved and valued for who they are rather than what they do.

In this guide, we highlight Kohn’s practical advice and add a few more techniques to try out. We also update Kohn’s research and consider ideas from development experts with similar approaches, including Maria Montessori and Janet Lansbury.

No, you’re not a bad parent. And your kids are actually good kids—parenting is just hard. Do you wish it came with a manual? Clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy’s Good Inside might be just what you need.

Good Inside is a parenting manual to help you make changes in your child’s behavior while building a positive relationship with them. Most parenting advice sees children’s behavior as a problem to be fixed through time-outs, rewards, and serious conversations. But Becky Kennedy argues that these strategies jeopardize your connection with your children. That’s a high price to pay for band-aid strategies that don't deal with the root causes of problematic behaviors.

Our guide lays out the core principles of Kennedy’s approach to parenting, her essential toolkit for dealing with challenging behavior, and strategies to deal with 10 common parenting challenges. We complement Kennedy’s advice with that of other experts, including the authors of parenting classics The Whole-Brain Child, 1-2-3 Magic, and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

How can we raise kids to be self-confident, independent, and compassionate? In Unconditional Parenting, author and lecturer Alfie Kohn argues that we should throw away the standard parenting rulebook and replace it with a new approach built on unconditional support, acceptance, and understanding.

Find out what kids really need from their parents, why using rewards and punishments doesn’t work (and can even backfire) in the long term, and what you can do to make your kids feel loved and valued for who they are rather than what they do.

In this guide, we highlight Kohn’s practical advice and add a few more techniques to try out. We also update Kohn’s research and consider ideas from development experts with similar approaches, including Maria Montessori and Janet Lansbury.