Tonesa Welch: First Lady of BMF

Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? is a guide to how abusive men think, explaining the motivation and logic behind domestic abuse so that victims can better defend themselves against it. Bancroft draws on his years of experience as a counselor working with abusive men to shed light on how they deliberately confuse, manipulate, and intimidate their victims to get what they want. Ultimately, Bancroft hopes that readers will use his book to better assert their own humanity and independence, either leaving the relationship or demanding that their partner take responsibility for and change his abusive behavior.

This guide will break down Bancroft’s insights into the motivations and justifications behind abusive behavior and supplement them with the work of other abuse advocates writing since the book’s publication in 2002. We’ll also provide updated statistics and compare domestic abuse to other forms of violence.

All the alarming statistics about child abuse and neglect—millions of cases reported each year, killing nearly five children each day—don’t begin to illustrate how victims experience abuse. In A Child Called 'It', author Dave Pelzer provides a rare and grisly glimpse into his experience of severe physical and psychological abuse at his mother’s hands.

In one of the worst child abuse cases reported in California’s history at the time, Pelzer was starved, burned on the stove, regularly locked in the bathroom with a noxious mixture of ammonia and Clorox, and forbidden from speaking to or looking at any of his family members. Through it all, Pelzer maintained an indomitable will to survive that’s a testament to the strength of the human spirit even under the bleakest circumstances.

Media are rife with haunting stories of true crime, but some accounts are more chilling than others—particularly those that involve torture and murder. In If You Tell, Gregg Olsen recounts the story of notorious abuser and murderer Shelly Knotek, who, along with her husband Dave, abused and tortured their daughters, nephew, and two boarders—resulting in three deaths. Olsen is a best-selling true crime author and novelist who was asked to write this story by the Knotek daughters themselves.

In our guide, we'll discuss the ways in which Shelly abused her victims along with Dave’s help. We’ll also look specifically at how she lured two friends to become boarders at her home and then killed them, and we’ll look at the events leading up to Shelly and Dave’s arrests and convictions. Additionally, we’ll add information about the psychology of abuse and psychopathy, compare it to similar stories of child abuse, and add context about the legal system and its responsibilities in cases like these.

The Other Wes Moore chronicles the lives of two men with the same name. Both Wes Moores are black men who grew up in the inner-city communities of Baltimore City and the Bronx. Both were raised by single mothers within the same era. So how did one end up a decorated military veteran and academic scholar, and the other a convicted murder with a life sentence?

The book, written by Wes Moore the Army veteran, searches for answers by parsing their histories. Part memoir, part biography, this book questions the influence of family and environment in young men’s lives and what's needed to ensure success, especially in the lives of those without privilege or resources.

Orange Is the New Black is Piper Kerman’s memoir of her year at a federal women’s prison. Convicted on drug charges, the privileged, well-educated, white, upper-middle-class Piper is sent to prison in Danbury, Connecticut. There, she finds herself part of a community of women whose backgrounds and life experiences seem vastly different from her own. During her sentence, however, Piper comes to recognize the biases of her privilege; find community and family with her fellow inmates; and discover the systemic failures, gross power disparities, and overall injustices of the prison system.

Rupi Kaur experienced oppression and abuse throughout her life. From an uncle who raped her as a child to a father who demanded she stay silent, she grew up in an environment that taught her she was worthless. However, as she grew up, her experiences with love and heartbreak taught her how to find the beauty in herself and how to heal in the face of painful experiences.

milk and honey is an award-winning collection of poems that dive into the themes of sexual assault, the complexity of relationships, and the healing power of self-love. Through her use of beautiful language, Kaur takes you on her emotional journey to love herself in the face of painful and oppressive experiences.

Since her first hit song, Britney Spears has been a pop music icon. She’s won MTV Awards and a Grammy, millions of fans have attended her concerts, and she’s become one of the all-time best-selling musicians. However, behind the scenes, Spears has lived a life of turmoil, emotional trauma, and never-ending scrutiny in the public eye. When she bent under the strain of that pressure, Spears’s father took control of her life while exploiting her for financial gain.

The Woman in Me is Spears’s memoir of her career and private life, from the joy she’s found to the trauma she’s endured. In this guide, we’ll follow the story of Spears’s life from her small-town childhood to her struggles with stardom and the 13-year conservatorship that severely restricted her freedom. We’ll also explore the media’s portrayal of Spears throughout her career, the music industry’s treatment of women, and expert views on family dysfunction.

Educated: A Memoir is Tara Westover’s autobiography. In it, she shows us her transformation from being the daughter of survivalist, fundamentalist, anti-science, anti-medicine, and anti-education parents, to becoming a Cambridge-educated historian. Westover gains the strength to break free from the ideological chains of her youth and discovers the agency to make her own choices about how she sees and experiences the world.

While it is about one individual’s journey, Educated speaks to universal themes of self-liberation, the power of education, the perils of extreme ideology, and the trauma of domestic abuse.

Finding Me, Viola Davis’s memoir published in 2022, recounts her extraordinary journey from the depths of poverty to the heights of Hollywood stardom. In this deeply personal account, Davis shares how acting became a beacon of hope and a path toward self-discovery in the midst of poverty, abuse, and racial discrimination.

Davis, celebrated for her roles in The Help, Doubt, How To Get Away With Murder, and Fences, has distinguished herself in film, television, and theater, achieving the historic "Triple Crown of Acting." Beyond her acting career, she co-runs JuVee Productions, aiming to produce diverse storytelling across various media.

This guide provides a detailed overview of Davis's life, enriched with historical context and additional information not found in the memoir, while also exploring Davis’ impact on the discussions about the importance of diverse storytelling in the media.

Since her first hit song, Britney Spears has been a pop music icon. She’s won MTV Awards and a Grammy, millions of fans have attended her concerts, and she’s become one of the all-time best-selling musicians. However, behind the scenes, Spears has lived a life of turmoil, emotional trauma, and never-ending scrutiny in the public eye. When she bent under the strain of that pressure, Spears’s father took control of her life while exploiting her for financial gain.

The Woman in Me is Spears’s memoir of her career and private life, from the joy she’s found to the trauma she’s endured. In this guide, we’ll follow the story of Spears’s life from her small-town childhood to her struggles with stardom and the 13-year conservatorship that severely restricted her freedom. We’ll also explore the media’s portrayal of Spears throughout her career, the music industry’s treatment of women, and expert views on family dysfunction.

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University, is a distillation of his life lessons and experiences. Written with reporter Jeffrey Zaslow, the best-selling book is an expanded version of a “Last Lecture” Pausch gave in 2007, after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

The “Last Lecture” series was a tradition in which professors presented their philosophy of life, as if it were their last chance to share what was important to them. It truly was a last chance for Pausch, who had only months to live. His book and lecture, which went viral and has been viewed by millions, are about living your dreams.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is a memoir by psychotherapist and author Lori Gottlieb. She discusses a difficult time in her life following a sudden breakup with her long-term boyfriend. The incident upset her so badly that it drove her to seek therapy herself.

This book is the story of Lori’s time in therapy, interwoven with stories about Lori’s own patients. Though each of their situations is different, their shared struggles and how they overcome them reflect common experiences that all people share—in fact, Lori says that the reason therapists can be effective is precisely because they have those same struggles. As Lori and her patients work together toward health and understanding, they reflect on their pasts—how they got to be where they are now—and the futures they’d like to have.

In the latest episode of 'This Past Weekend' with Theo Von, we delve into the vibrant life and career of Ric Flair, an iconic figure in the wrestling world. This engaging podcast spans the highs and lows of Ric's professional journey, including the challenges he faced in a career marred by intense workouts, health scares, and the tumultuous evolution of the wrestling industry. Throughout the conversation, Flair shares intriguing insights about the dynamics of his wrestling alter ego and the profound impact of his extreme lifestyle choices on his personal relationships.

Personal growth, resilience and mental health are recurring themes as Flair candidly discusses the adversity he surmounted in his life— from substance abuse issues to the tragic loss of his son to addiction. Flair's reflections on his past, sprinkled with humorous anecdotes and underpinned by his distinct charm, provide an engaging balance between lighthearted saga and somber narrative. This unique blend affords listeners a unique glimpse of the human behind the wrestling icon.

Delve into the formidable world of the Bottom Boyz in the gripping REAL ONES with Jon Bernthal podcast, where host Jon Bernthal engages with Don Wilson, Sebastian Richardson, Ricardo Wilson, and Richard Wilson in a candid discussion about loyalty, life, and the prospect of change. The Bottom Boyz stand distinct in the urban landscape, not bound by the rules of traditional gangs; their ties are rooted in the essence of community and are reflected in a remarkable sense of unity that transcends backgrounds and affiliations.

In a potent exploration of street ethics and justice, the episode uncovers the Bottom Boyz’ code of conduct—unyielding in its approach to righteousness and conflict resolution. As Ricardo Wilson voices concerns over the fading reverence in youth, and Richard Wilson questions the authenticity of political leaders, the narrative traverses incarceration, aspirational change, and empowerment. The guests’ poignant reflections and shared experiences forge a powerful testament to their unshakeable loyalty and commitment to collective uplift, showcasing how even in the most challenging environments, there is a quest for direction and deeper societal integration.

Do you ever feel that there is a more authentic, primal self within you waiting to be free? Glennon Doyle has felt this way, too—like a wild animal in captivity who was conditioned not to feel, think, or trust herself. She tells her story in Untamed, part memoir—covering her personal story of addiction and rehab, falling in love with a woman, leaving her marriage, and rebuilding her life—and part call to action for any woman who feels held captive by society’s rules and expectations.

Through exploration of her story, she instructs readers to rebuild their lives using emotion, intuition, and imagination as guiding forces. In this guide, we’ll explore Doyle’s journey out of captivity and her lessons for other captive women. Along the way, we’ll explore complementary ideas from other feminist thinkers, psychological reasoning for aspects of captivity, and practical actionables to help you live Doyle’s principles.