Podcasts > Dumb Blonde > Renee Graziano: Family Business

Renee Graziano: Family Business

By Dumb Blonde Productions

In the latest episode of "Dumb Blonde," host Bunnie DeFord invites Renee Graziano to share the account of her tumultuous life journey, detailing her battles both in her personal life and as a cast member of the reality TV show "Mob Wives." From the harrowing tales of childhood abuse at the hands of her sisters to the depths of addiction and near-death experiences, Renee bravely opens up about the adversities that have shaped her.

The conversation delves into the intense behind-the-scenes dynamics of "Mob Wives," Renee's difficult relationships, and the earth-shattering betrayal by her ex-husband who turned informant against her father. Yet, amidst the darkness, Renee illuminates her formidable steps toward healing, sobriety, and her newfound mission in the world of addiction treatment. This episode of "Dumb Blonde" offers a raw and compelling glimpse into Renee Graziano's incredible story of resilience and redemption.

Renee Graziano: Family Business

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Renee Graziano: Family Business

1-Page Summary

Renee's traumatic childhood

Renee shares her chilling experiences of abuse inflicted by her sisters during her childhood. Her sisters not only exposed her to dangerous physical activities but also subjected her to severe emotional harms by bullying her, with insults like calling her "ugly" and "dumb." Their bullying escalated to physically harmful attempts, including trying to hang Renee with a jump rope and convincing her to jump off stairs with a leash around her neck, risking severe injury or death.

Renee's struggles with addiction and overdoses

Renee's addiction began in her teenage years, starting with experimenting with drugs like mescaline, black beauties, and yellow jackets, and escalating to cocaine by age 15. Post back surgery, she developed a painkiller addiction which led to a near-fatal overdose, resulting in a 72-hour hold in a mental hospital where she was sexually assaulted. Renee then struggled with a severe Xanax addiction, often mixing it with alcohol and cocaine. She experienced an accidental fentanyl overdose that left her intubated and forced her to relearn to walk.

Behind-the-scenes drama of Mob Wives reality show

On the reality TV show "Mob Wives," Renee faced turmoil driven by jealousy and competition among cast members, including conflicts over prominence and entitlement. The competition was intense as every cast member fought for the spotlight, but Renee felt her background was inimitable. Additionally, tensions were exacerbated because of VH1's issues with a particular cast member. Renee also hints at a broken friendship with a cast member, driven by jealousy and a hunger for power.

Renee's abusive relationships and marriages

Renee discloses her early abusive relationship with a boyfriend who physically assaulted her, leading to her father's retaliative violence. In her marriage to Hector, she suffered horrific abuses, including physical violence which escalated even during her pregnancy, and sexual assault, which she later understood to be rape. Hector's infidelity added to the betrayal, which reached a peak when he became an informant against her father.

Renee's ex-husband becoming an informant against her father

Renee discusses the betrayal by her ex-husband, Hector, who turned informant against her father, breaking the trust both in their marriage and with her father who had embraced Hector fully. The revelation left Renee feeling as though her identity was erased. Hector's actions led to Renee's father's re-arrest and profoundly impacted her life and the security she had known.

The death of Renee's father and its impact

Renee talks about the devastating impact of her father's death, which pushed her into a deeper addiction. Her grief led to attempts at relief through treatments like shock therapy, which she feels worsened her condition, and self-medication. The death of her father was a significant trauma that Renee grappled with while dealing with addiction.

Renee's journey to sobriety and healing trauma

In her path to sobriety, Renee cites the need to get sober for her son and grandchildren as a key driving force. She has taken up work in addiction treatment, aiming to provide the care and love she felt was missing in her own life. This focus on helping others and rebuilding her family life, reinvesting in relationships with her son and grandchildren, underscores her healing process. Her improved familial connections and her employment at Vanity Wellness showcase her dedication to a healthier way of life, as she reconstructs her identity around love and perhaps, future romance.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Mescaline is a naturally occurring psychedelic substance found in certain cacti, known for its hallucinogenic effects. Black beauties and yellow jackets are slang terms for amphetamine-based stimulant drugs, often used for their energizing and euphoric effects. Xanax is a prescription medication belonging to the benzodiazepine class, commonly prescribed for anxiety and panic disorders due to its calming effects on the central nervous system. These drugs can have various effects on the mind and body, leading to both desired and harmful outcomes depending on how they are used.
  • "Mob Wives" was a reality TV show that aired from 2011 to 2016, focusing on the lives of women connected to the mob. The show depicted their relationships, conflicts, and personal struggles, often showcasing drama and tension among the cast members. The behind-the-scenes drama referenced in the text likely involves interpersonal conflicts, competition for screen time, and issues with the production team or network. The show gained attention for its portrayal of the cast members' connections to organized crime and the challenges they faced in their personal lives.
  • A 72-hour hold in a mental hospital, also known as an involuntary psychiatric hold or psychiatric hold, is a legal measure that allows individuals to be held in a psychiatric facility for evaluation and treatment against their will if they are deemed a danger to themselves or others due to mental health concerns. This period typically allows mental health professionals to assess the individual's condition and determine the appropriate course of action for their safety and well-being. It is a temporary intervention designed to provide immediate care and support during a mental health crisis. The duration of the hold can vary depending on the individual's circumstances and the evaluation of their mental health status.

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Renee Graziano: Family Business

Renee's traumatic childhood

Renee opens up about her harrowing experiences in her early years, detailing the abuse she suffered at the hands of those closest to her.

Experiencing abuse from boyfriends at a young age

Renee recounts that her sister, Lana, who often got into trouble and was hit a lot for her misbehavior, would subject Renee to risky situations. Lana's reckless actions included dangerous behavior such as flipping cars, and she also coerced Renee into physically dangerous acts like swinging off banisters.

Sisters bullying and emotionally abusing her

Calling her ugly and dumb

In addition to the perilous activities, Renee shares how her sisters inflicted emotional pain by bullying her. One sister would denigrate her by calling her "ugly," while another would insult her intelligence by calling her "dumb."

Trying to physically harm her

Renee's sisters went beyond verbal taunts to physical a ...

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Renee's traumatic childhood

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The motives behind the sisters' abusive behavior towards Renee are not explicitly stated in the text. It is possible that factors like jealousy, unresolved personal issues, or a dysfunctional family dynamic could have contributed to their actions. Understanding the complex dynamics of si ...

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Renee Graziano: Family Business

Renee's struggles with addiction and overdoses

Renee Graziano openly reveals the extent and severity of her drug addiction, including overdoses and resulting challenges. Her journey through addiction is marked by early drug use, a dire dependence on painkillers, and a severe Xanax addiction, all of which led to multiple overdoses and significant consequences.

Early drug use as a teenager

Renee Graziano's struggles with substance abuse began early. At about 13 years old, she tried mescaline, an experience so disagreeable it led her to hide away in a closet. She quickly advanced to black beauties and yellow jackets, which are types of uppers or diet pills known to be used as a means to boost energy and suppress appetite. By the age of 14 and 15, Renee's drug use escalated to cocaine.

As a teenager, Renee dated a drug dealer in secret. Her father, unaware of her boyfriend's age and illicit activities, would not have approved of their relationship.

Painkiller addiction after back surgery

After back surgery, Renee developed an addiction to painkillers. On July 4th, 2007, her substance use culminated in an overdose. Renee describes her behavior during this episode as that of a "wild lunatic." Her mother, embarrassed and perhaps lacking a full understanding of addiction, opted to place Renee in a 72-hour holdover in a mental hospital rather than a detox facility.

Overdosing on painkillers

Being sexually assaulted in a mental hospital

During her stay in the mental hospital, Renee was subjected to sexual assault by a man named Stanley Guido. Her initial pleas for help following the incident were not believed until, in a desperate bid for help, she set a fire to attract police attention. When authorities arrived, the man confessed to the assault.

Severe Xanax addiction for years

Following her traumatic experience in the mental hospital, Renee's addiction shifted focus to Xanax, an anti-anxiety medication. She describes this addiction as different, consuming the drug incessantly resulting in emotional numbness and inhibited thought processes.

Mixing Xanax with alcoh ...

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Renee's struggles with addiction and overdoses

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Black beauties and yellow jackets are slang terms for specific types of amphetamine-based stimulant drugs. They were commonly used as appetite suppressants and to boost energy levels. These pills were popular in the past for their stimulant effects, but their use has declined due to concerns about addiction and side effects.
  • A 72-hour holdover in a mental hospital is a period where an individual is involuntarily detained for psychiatric evaluation and observation. This practice is commonly used to assess a person's mental health status and determine if they pose a risk to themselves or others. It is a short-term measure typically used in emergency situations to ensure the individual's safety and well-being. In this context, Renee's mother chose to place her in a mental hospital for a brief period instead of a detox facility following an overdose.
  • Mixing Xanax with alcohol and cocaine is a dangerous practice that can have severe consequences. Xanax is a prescription medication used to treat anxiety disorders, and when combined with alcohol or cocaine, it can amplify the effects of each substance. This combination can lead to increased sedation, impaired coordination, memory problems, and even respiratory depression, which can be life-threatening. It is important to avoid mixing Xanax with alcohol or cocaine to prevent potential overdose or other harmful outcomes.
  • When someone is intubated, it means a tube is inserted into their airway to help them breathe. This is often done when a person is unable to breathe adequately on their own. Being intubated for three days indicates that Renee Graziano required this assistance for her breathing for a significa ...

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Renee Graziano: Family Business

Behind-the-scenes drama of Mob Wives reality show

Renee Graziano opens up about the turmoil and emotions that ran high behind the scenes of the reality TV show "Mob Wives," including conflicts driven by jealousy and competition.

Jealousy and competition between the women

The cast members of "Mob Wives" struggled with envy, often clashing over money, attention, and the number of appearances on the show. Renee Graziano shares that her co-stars envied her background as a mob boss's daughter and her prominent role on the show. She candidly admits that jealousy affected her when her castmates received opportunities she did not. Everyone fought to be a star, but as Graziano quips, not everyone can be the North Star.

Graziano observes that the competition between the women was unnecessary, as no one could duplicate her unique upbringing and background. Despite the special dynamic among the women, VH1's dissatisfaction with one of the cast members, presumably Drita, heightened tensions. This dissatisfaction stemmed from an attitude of entitlement and overblown expectations, such as discontent over being sent an Uber rather than a black car.

Broken friendship between Carla and Rita

Graziano feels particularly betra ...

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Behind-the-scenes drama of Mob Wives reality show

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Drita and Rita are cast members from the reality TV show "Mob Wives." Drita D'Avanzo is known for her tough persona and conflicts with other cast members. Rita may be a reference to Carla Facciolo, another cast member who had a close friendship with Drita that eventually soured during the show's run. The dynamics between these individuals played a significant role in the drama and conflicts depicted on the show.
  • The conflicts among the cast members of "Mob Wives" primarily revolved around jealousy and competition, with tensions arising from disparities in attention, opportunities, and backgrounds. Renee Graziano's prominent role and mob boss heritage sparked envy among her co-stars, leading to clashes over status and recognition on the show. Additionally, dissatisfaction with certain cast members, like Drita, due to perceived entitlement and expectations, further fueled the drama and power struggles within the group. The breakdown of friendships, such as the rift between Carla and Rita (potentially Drita), was influenced by ambitions for dominance and the desire t ...

Counterarguments

  • The perception of jealousy and competition might be exaggerated for dramatic effect, as reality TV often amplifies personal conflicts to increase viewer engagement.
  • Cast members may have had legitimate professional grievances regarding unequal pay or screen time, which could be interpreted as jealousy but actually reflect concerns about fairness and equity.
  • Graziano's perspective on her co-stars' envy might be subjective, and the other women may have felt that her prominent role was unearned or that the show favored her unfairly.
  • The notion that competition was unnecessary because no one could duplicate Graziano's background assumes that her upbringing is the only valuable or interesting aspect of the show, which may not be the case from the audience's or other cast members' perspectives.
  • VH1's dissatisfaction with a cast member could be due to a variety of professional reasons unrelated to entitlement or expectations, such as performance issues or audience feedback.
  • The ...

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Renee Graziano: Family Business

Renee's abusive relationships and marriages

Renee Graziano candidly recounts her history of abusive relationships, including a childhood boyfriend and a marriage marked by distressing violence, infidelity, and betrayal.

Childhood boyfriend physically and emotionally abusive

Though not explicitly mentioned in the provided transcript, Renee Graziano discusses her first boyfriend at the age of 13. She recalls an incident where her then-boyfriend, Frank, inflicted a stab wound to her leg with a fork out of jealousy. Her father, upon noticing a black eye and learning of the boyfriend's abuse, retaliated, resulting in the boyfriend's arm being broken. The scars, both physical and emotional, from this early abuse linger with Graziano, prompting a distrust in relationships and complicating her dating life.

Marriage to mobster wannabe Hector

Horrific physical, emotional, and sexual abuse

Renee reflects on her marriage to a man she derogatorily refers to as Hector, detailing the spectrum of abuse she suffered at his hands. She conveys the horrific physical, emotional, and sexual abuse she endured, including being compared to other women when Hector was drunk and high. Graziano relays severe injuries she sustained, such as a shattered coccyx bone, a cracked rib, a punctured kidney, and a broken cheekbone.

Even during her pregnancy, Hector's evil extended to a hospital stay where she was so traumatized that her body shut down, and afterward, he coldly made her take a cab home. Another instance of physical violence involved Hector taking her by the throat and dangling her out in the street.

Forcing her to have sex

Renee was subjected to sexual abuse, admitting that she did not initially understand the criminal nature of being sexually forced by one's husband—an act later identified by her therapist as rape.

Multiple affairs during marriage

During their marriage, Hector was unfaithful, having multiple affairs. Graziano speaks about one of her husband's ...

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Renee's abusive relationships and marriages

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Renee Graziano is a television personality known for her appearances on reality TV shows like "Mob Wives." She comes from a family with ties to organized crime, which has influenced her personal relationships. Graziano has been open about her experiences with abusive relationships, shedding light on the challenges faced by victims of domestic abuse.
  • In environments tied to crime and power, relationships can become entangled in complex dynamics influenced by factors like fear, control, and manipulation. Individuals in such environments may face heightened risks of abuse and betrayal due to the presence of criminal activities and power struggles. The ...

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Renee Graziano: Family Business

Renee's ex-husband becoming an informant against her father

Renee Graziano shares her traumatic experience with her ex-husband Hector, whom she vehemently despises for becoming a government informant against her father and destroying her family and sense of self.

Father welcoming Hector into family and crime family

Renee's father, initially unaware of Hector's ethnicity, warmly embraced Hector as a part of the family, even giving him the nickname "Junior" and planning to offer him their illustrious family name. This indicated full acceptance, not only into the family but into the crime family as well. Renee describes her father as deeply loving Hector, showcasing the gravity of the eventual betrayal.

Hector cooperating with government since 2006

The profound discovery that Hector had been cooperating with the government since 2006 came as a shock to Renee. She recalls the pivotal moment when he turned himself in, leading to her father's arrest, which caused Renee to feel that her "whole life ended" and her identity was "wiped."

Devastation of him informing on her father and mob

Renee's disdain for her ex-husband is palpable as she attributes her father's re-arrest before Thanksgiving to her ex-husband's actions. Hector's cooperation not only led to her father being put behind bars—effectively rendering him 'killed' in Renee's eyes—but also left her vulnerable without the prote ...

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Renee's ex-husband becoming an informant against her father

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Renee Graziano is known for her appearances on reality TV shows like "Mob Wives," where she shared details about her life in a mob-connected family. Her ex-husband Hector was involved in criminal activities and later cooperated with the government as an informant, causing significant turmoil within Renee's family. Their relationship was marked by betrayal and deep emotional impact due to Hector's actions against Renee's father and their criminal connections.
  • Renee Graziano's life was deeply intertwined with a crime family, a structured organization involved in illegal activities. This crime family provided a sense of belonging, protection, and identity for Renee and her family members. The betrayal by her ex-husband, who became an informant against her father and the crime family, shattered this world and left Renee feeling vulnerable and lost.
  • Hector's cooperation with the government involved him providing information or assistance to law enforcement agencies, which ultimately led to the arrest of Renee's father. This act of betrayal had significant consequences for Renee and her family, as it shattered their trust and sense of security, leaving them vul ...

Counterarguments

  • Hector's decision to become an informant could be seen as an act of courage and a step towards justice, as he may have been helping to stop illegal activities.
  • The notion of betrayal is complex, and while Renee feels betrayed, Hector might have felt a moral or legal obligation to inform authorities about criminal activities.
  • Renee's identity and sense of self-worth should not solely depend on her association with her family or the crime family; she has the potential to rebuild her identity independent of those connections.
  • The use of derogatory terms like "rat" and "pussy" to describe Hector is a reflection of a cultural code within organized crime that stigmatizes cooperation with law enforcement, but from a legal and societal perspective, such cooperation can be viewed positively.
  • The dismantling of the crime family, while perso ...

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Renee Graziano: Family Business

The death of Renee's father and its impact

Renee Graziano opens up about the profound loss of her father, Anthony Graziano, and its cascading effects on her life as she approaches the difficult milestone of the five-year anniversary of his passing.

Tremendous grief sending her into deeper addiction

Renee Graziano reveals the depth of her sorrow following her father's death, admitting that she desired to end her life during that period. This admission underscores how deeply the loss affected her, exacerbating her struggles with addiction. Renee further intimates the challenges she faced with insomnia and hospitalization, which she links to the lifestyle of waiting for her father, signaling the gripping grief that likely intensified her addiction.

Trying various treatments to relieve grief and pain

Shock therapy worsening things and damaging her brain

Renee speaks candidly about her experience with shock therapy, having undergone six sessions in an attempt to mitigate her grief and addiction. However, she believes this treatment aggravated her condition and caused significant damage to her brain, leaving her to contend with worsened addiction. She asserts that she experienced memory loss and a dulled intellect as side effects of the shoc ...

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The death of Renee's father and its impact

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Shock therapy, also known as electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), is a psychiatric treatment where electric currents are passed through the brain to induce controlled seizures. It is used to treat severe depression and other mental health conditions. Possible side effects can include memory loss and cognitive impairments, which can be temporary or, in rare cases, more long-lasting. In the case of Renee Graziano, she under ...

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Renee Graziano: Family Business

Renee's journey to sobriety and healing trauma

Renee Graziano, in conversation with the host Bunnie DeFord, opens up about her personal battles with addiction, her road to recovery, and the importance of family in her journey to sobriety.

Realizing need to get sober for her son and grandchildren

Renee's motivation to attain sobriety was deeply rooted in her commitment to her family. She acknowledges the significant role addiction played in her life, influenced by her upbringing and family circumstances. The turning point came when Renee decided to protect herself and her son, which involved making her ex-husband's threats public on the show. Her determination saw her through a phase where her friend Karen played a crucial role by providing a haven for Renee to stay and attain sobriety.

Working in addiction treatment, focusing on helping others

Her path to healing involved not only working on her sobriety but also in giving back to others who were struggling with their own addictions. Renee started working in addiction treatment, dedicating herself to help others feel special and loved, a mission stemmed from her own experiences of dealing with the 'hole in their soul.' Despite experiencing a relapse triggered by unresolved issues brought up during her own pilot for "Fairy Mob Mother," Renee redirected her focus on helping someone else obtain sobriety and cherishing her time with her four grandchildren.

Rebuilding relationships with family members

Bonding again with son and being there for grandchildren

Renee's journey to sobriety has seen her rebuild and strengthen familial bonds. She recognizes the significance of being present for her son and grandchildren, underlying her sobriety since November 3rd. With a renewed dedication to living, Renee reassured her son she wouldn't harm herself and sought help when necessary. Her current employment at Vanity Wellness in California, following her time at Recovery Unplugged in Texas, is part of her commitment to her new lifestyle.

Renee reveals her newfound source of love in her grandchildren. She finds joy in playing superhero and engaging in activities with them, which has allowed her ...

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Renee's journey to sobriety and healing trauma

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Clarifications

  • Renee Graziano has worked in addiction treatment facilities like Recovery Unplugged in Texas and Vanity Wellness in California as part of her commitment to helping others struggling with addiction. Her employment history reflects her dedication to supporting individuals in their journey to sobriety and healing. Working in these facilities has allowed Renee to channel her own exper ...

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