Confidence Classic: Finding Gratitude In Your Hardest Moments With “Gratitude Guru” Chris Schembra
In this episode of Creating Confidence, Chris Schembra discusses the role of gratitude in personal transformation and relationship building. Through his 747 Gratitude Experience framework, which has facilitated over half a million relationships, Schembra explains how appreciation storytelling can create emotional bonds and break down social barriers, particularly in business contexts where emotional connections influence customer behavior.
Drawing from Stoic philosophy and modern research, Schembra explores how gratitude can help people navigate difficult times and transform obstacles into opportunities for growth. He and host Heather Monahan discuss how sharing personal struggles can combat feelings of isolation, demonstrating the ways gratitude practice can build community bonds while fostering individual resilience and self-awareness.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Nov 19, 2025 episode of the Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
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1-Page Summary
The Transformative Power of Gratitude
Chris Schembra explores how gratitude can fundamentally alter one's perspective and lead to personal transformation. He explains that gratitude helps shift focus from negativity to appreciation, fostering resilience during difficult times. When practiced in groups, gratitude can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and insecurity while building community bonds.
Schembra challenges the notion that positivity must be perfect, suggesting instead that personal growth comes through navigating life's challenges. He advocates for embracing both positive and negative experiences, viewing them as opportunities for self-awareness and growth.
Using Gratitude to Build Connections and Relationships
Through his 747 Gratitude Experience, Schembra has facilitated over half a million relationships. The framework uses appreciation storytelling to create emotional bonds and break down social barriers among participants. This approach has proven particularly effective in business contexts, where emotional connections significantly impact customer behavior. According to Google's research, emotionally connected buyers are five times more likely to consider purchases and thirty times more likely to pay premium prices.
Overcoming Adversity and Personal Struggles Through Gratitude
Drawing from Ryan Holiday's work and Stoic philosophy, Schembra discusses how obstacles can be transformed into opportunities for growth. He references Marcus Aurelius's teachings about adapting the mind to convert obstacles into advantages. Philip Watkins's research suggests that identifying positive outcomes in negative experiences can lead to viewing these challenges as valuable life events.
Schembra and Heather Monahan emphasize the importance of sharing personal struggles to break down isolation and shame. By openly discussing their own experiences with challenges like self-injury and professional setbacks, they demonstrate how vulnerability can become a powerful tool for healing and inspiring others.
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Counterarguments
- While gratitude can lead to personal transformation, it is not a panacea and may not be as effective for everyone, depending on individual circumstances and mental health conditions.
- The focus on positivity and gratitude, while beneficial, might inadvertently lead to the minimization of valid negative emotions and experiences, which can also be important to acknowledge and process.
- Group practices of gratitude can build community bonds, but they may also pressure individuals to conform to group norms and suppress dissenting or less positive viewpoints.
- The idea that personal growth comes through navigating life's challenges might not account for situations where individuals have limited control over their circumstances and where systemic barriers play a significant role.
- The effectiveness of the 747 Gratitude Experience in building relationships may not be universally replicable across different cultural or organizational contexts.
- The impact of emotional connections on customer behavior, as suggested by Google's research, may not be generalizable to all industries or customer demographics.
- The application of Stoic philosophy and the teachings of Marcus Aurelius may not resonate with or be practical for everyone, especially those facing severe adversity or trauma.
- The emphasis on finding positive outcomes in negative experiences could potentially lead to a form of toxic positivity that dismisses genuine suffering.
- Sharing personal struggles publicly can be empowering, but it also carries the risk of exposing individuals to criticism, judgment, or exploitation, and not everyone may be in a position to safely share their vulnerabilities.
- The notion that vulnerability can be a powerful tool for healing may not take into account the complexities of mental health issues, where professional support might be necessary.
Actionables
- You can create a "Gratitude Map" by drawing a simple map of your life's journey, marking significant events with symbols that represent challenges and growth. For each symbol, write down a specific aspect you're grateful for, even if it was a difficult experience. This visual representation can serve as a daily reminder of your resilience and personal growth.
- Start a "Resilience Reflection" journal where you dedicate a few minutes each evening to write about a challenge you faced that day and how it contributed to your growth. This practice encourages you to reframe obstacles as opportunities and reinforces the habit of seeking the positive in the negative.
- Organize a "Vulnerability Dinner" with close friends or family where each person shares a personal struggle they've overcome or are currently facing. This gathering aims to deepen emotional connections, reduce feelings of isolation, and foster a supportive community.
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The Transformative Power of Gratitude
Chris Schembra delves into how gratitude, a seemingly simple practice, can profoundly change one's perspective and lead to personal transformation.
Gratitude Shifts Perspective, Leading To Transformation
Gratitude Shifts Individuals From Negativity to Appreciation and Resilience, Even In Adversity
Gratitude has the power to refocus an individual's mindset from dwelling on negativity to appreciating positive aspects of their life. This shift is essential, particularly during times of adversity, as it fosters resilience and enables individuals to navigate life's challenges with a balanced perspective.
Group Gratitude Practice Eases Loneliness and Insecurity
When gratitude is expressed within a group setting, the practice goes even further, easing feelings of loneliness and insecurity among individuals. This shared experience can cultivate a sense of community and mutual support.
Gratitude: An Antidote To Obsessive Positivity
Growth Comes From Navigating Challenges, Not Perfection
Schembra discusses the misconception that happiness and positivity must be perfect, emphasizing instead that personal growth often comes through the navigation of life’s challenges. It ...
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The Transformative Power of Gratitude
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Counterarguments
- While gratitude can shift focus from negativity, it may not be a universal solution for everyone, as some individuals may struggle with mental health issues that require professional intervention beyond simple mindset changes.
- Group gratitude practices might not always ease loneliness or insecurity for everyone; some individuals may feel more isolated or pressured if their personal experiences don't align with the group dynamic.
- The idea that growth comes from navigating challenges could be misinterpreted as glorifying suffering, potentially leading to the harmful notion that one must endure hardship to grow, which is not always the case.
- Emphasizing the importance of acknowledging life's negatives might not be beneficial for every ...
Actionables
- You can start a "gratitude chain" with friends or family where each person texts something they're grateful for daily, creating a ripple effect of positivity and a sense of togetherness.
- This strategy leverages the connectivity of modern communication to foster a sense of community and support. For example, if someone shares gratitude for a helpful colleague, others might feel inspired to recognize the supportive people in their lives, reinforcing the community's bond.
- Create a "growth journal" where you document not just achievements but also challenges and setbacks, reflecting on the growth each experience brings.
- This practice encourages you to see personal development as a journey that includes both highs and lows. For instance, writing about a failed project could lead to insights about resilience and adaptability, turning a negative experience into a growth opportunity.
- Develop a habit of sending "appreciation notes" to people who have ...
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Using Gratitude to Build Connections and Relationships
Chris Schembra utilizes the principles of gratitude to form meaningful connections, facilitating over half a million relationships and aiding businesses in enhancing client loyalty, sales, and team dynamics.
Gratitude In Group Settings Fosters Meaningful Connections
The 747 Gratitude Experience, an evidence-based framework designed by Schembra, demonstrates the power of gratitude in group contexts.
Appreciation Stories Foster Emotional Bonds and Break Barriers
Chris Schembra emphasizes the importance of sharing appreciation, noting how storytelling about someone participants have never officially thanked leads to deeper connections. These stories normalize and humanize all participants by revealing genuine, personal experiences. A signature element of these gatherings is a gratitude question that opens the floor to genuine expressions of appreciation, breaking social barriers and fostering emotional bonds.
Group Gratitude Is 99.998% Successful in Transformative Experiences
Schembra's dinners, where guests share powerful stories and express gratitude, lead to transformative experiences without specifying an explicit success rate. The first virtual dinner event they held felt incomplete until integrating the gratitude question, which elicited emotional and grateful responses. Subsequent virtual gratitude events attracted large numbers nightly, creating a space for shared gratitude and connection during the pandemic's initial months.
Gratitude In Business Boosts Client Loyalty, Sales, and Team Dynamics
The principles of gratitude in business contexts contribute to stronger team cohesion and client connections, with narrative evidence pointing to enhanced business relationships.
Emotionally Connected Buyers Are 5x More Likely to Consider, 12x More Likely to Purchase, and 30x More Likely to Pay a Premium
Schembra did not provide explicit metrics on improvements in client loyalty, sales, or team dynamics, but his experiences imply positive business outcomes through meaningful interactions. Creating emotional ties to a brand significantly increases the likelihood of purchase and the chance that clients will pay a premium, as reflected by Google's "promotion to emotion" study. This study r ...
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Using Gratitude to Build Connections and Relationships
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- The effectiveness of gratitude may vary across different cultures and individual personalities; what works in one context may not be as effective in another.
- The success rate of 99.998% for transformative experiences is not substantiated with empirical evidence and may not accurately reflect the variability of human experiences in group settings.
- While gratitude can foster emotional connections, it is not the only factor that contributes to client loyalty or team dynamics; other factors such as product quality, customer service, and price competitiveness also play significant roles.
- The correlation between emotional connection and customer purchasing behavior, as suggested by Google's "promotion to emotion" study, may not be causal and could be influenced by other variables not accounted for in the study.
- Personal anecdotes used to illustrate the benefits of emotional connections within teams may suffer from selection bias, as they may not represent the average experience of most employees or clients.
- The idea that businesses can command premium prices based on emotional connections alone may not hold in highly com ...
Actionables
- Start a gratitude journal where you write about someone who has impacted your life each week, then reach out to them to share your appreciation. This practice not only strengthens your relationships but also encourages a habit of recognizing the positive influence others have on your life. For example, if a former teacher's lesson has stayed with you, write about it and send them a message or a handwritten note expressing your gratitude.
- Create a "gratitude spotlight" during family or friend gatherings where each person shares a story about someone they're thankful for but haven't had the chance to thank properly. This can be as simple as going around the dinner table and sharing these stories, which can deepen your connections and provide a new tradition that highlights the importance of appreciation in your personal life.
- Implement a monthly "appreciation day" at work where colleagues can nominate others for their help or suppor ...
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Overcoming Adversity and Personal Struggles Through Gratitude
Heather Monahan and Chris Schembra explore the concept of stoicism and its role in dealing with adversity, emphasizing the transformation and personal growth possible when challenges are met with resilience and gratitude.
Stoic Resilience Transforms Adversity Into Growth Opportunities
Stoic Use of Obstacles and Setbacks For Growth
Schembra draws on the works of Ryan Holiday and the Stoic philosophy described by Nissam Talib to discuss how adversities can be turned into personal progress. He cites Holiday's book "The Obstacle is the Way," which focuses on harnessing adversity for growth, and the Stoic belief in converting fear, pain, mistakes, and desire into positive elements like prudence, information, and initiative.
Practicing Gratitude In Difficult Times Helps Reframe Struggles and Extract Lessons
Invoking Marcus Aurelius, Schembra suggests that the mind can adapt and convert obstacles for its purposes, implying that what stands in the way becomes the path forward. Reflecting on her conversation with Schembra, Monahan suggests that sharing and reflecting on one's difficult experiences, and finding positive benefits can transform them into something valuable. A study by Philip Watkins is mentioned, showing that identifying positive outcomes from negative experiences can result in them being perceived as some of the best things that have happened to an individual.
Sharing Struggles Can Connect and Destigmatize Experiences
Breaking Shame and Isolation: Finding Support and Community
Schembra shares how he felt disconnected and insecure during the loneliness of New York's empty streets when 30,000 neighbors were dying. The realization that he was not alone prompted him to host a virtual experience and share in a community setting. He discusses how acknowledging and sharing tough experiences can lead to a shift in perspective and the importance of community in breaking feelings of shame and isolation.
Transforming Dark Moments Into Life Stories Aids Healing and Inspires Others
Schembra and Monahan highlight the power of sharing personal adversities ...
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Overcoming Adversity and Personal Struggles Through Gratitude
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Counterarguments
- While stoicism promotes resilience, it may not be suitable for everyone, and some individuals may find other philosophies or psychological approaches more effective for personal growth.
- The idea that all adversities can be converted into positive qualities may not acknowledge the complexity of certain traumatic experiences that could require professional support to work through.
- Gratitude is beneficial, but it is not a panacea; some situations may require more than a change in perspective to be resolved or coped with effectively.
- The concept that the mind can adapt and convert obstacles into progress may oversimplify the challenges faced by individuals with mental health issues, where adaptation may not be straightforward.
- Sharing personal struggles can be therapeutic, but it also has the potential to make individuals vulnerable to judgment or exploitation, especially in public forums.
- The notion that identifying positive outcomes from negative experiences can lead to perceiving them as the best things that have happened may not resonate with everyone, particularly if the experiences have lasting negative impacts.
- Community support is important, but the process of breaking shame and isolation might also require professional intervention for some individuals.
- Publicly transforming dark moments into life stories can inspire others, but it can also lead to the commodification of personal pain, which m ...
Actionables
- You can start a "Gratitude and Growth" journal where each day you write down a challenge you faced and then actively reframe it to identify what you learned or how you grew from the experience. For example, if you had a disagreement at work, you might note how it taught you to better communicate your ideas or understand a colleague's perspective.
- Create a "Resilience Map" by drawing a timeline of your life's adversities and connecting them to the positive outcomes or qualities they fostered. This visual representation can help you see your life's challenges as stepping stones to your current strengths. For instance, a past financial struggle could be linked to your current budgeting skills and financial literacy.
- Develop a "Shared Stories" online forum or social media group where members can post ...
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