Confidence Classic: Master Sales and Build Unstoppable Confidence to Raise Your Goals with Ryan Serhant
In this episode of Creating Confidence, Ryan Serhant shares his sales approach, which focuses on building rapport and helping customers make confident decisions rather than using high-pressure tactics. He discusses how his acting background and strategic use of multiple platforms—from television to social media—contributed to building his real estate business and personal brand.
The conversation also explores broader themes of success and confidence building, with both Serhant and host Heather Monahan sharing personal insights. Topics include the challenges young people face with social media pressure, balancing work and parenthood, and methods for building confidence in children. Monahan also describes her own experiences growing her podcast through strategic promotion and consistent audience engagement.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Aug 19, 2025 episode of the Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
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1-Page Summary
Sales Techniques and Mindset
Ryan Serhant shares his unique approach to sales, comparing it to a first date rather than a high-pressure situation. He emphasizes building rapport through getting to know customers, asking questions, and finding common ground. Serhant's strategy involves showing customers higher-priced options first, making their target price point feel more reasonable in comparison. He believes successful selling isn't about forcing decisions but rather helping customers confidently make choices they were already inclined toward.
Building a Successful Business and Personal Brand
Serhant has built his empire through strategic use of multiple platforms. His appearance on "Million Dollar Listing" served as a springboard for his career, despite being relatively new to real estate at the time. He actively works to make his name synonymous with real estate success through various channels, including social media, television, books, vlogs, and podcasts. Serhant's background in acting and comedy has enhanced both his real estate transactions and media presence, demonstrating how he effectively combines performance skills with marketing strategy.
Confidence and Success Challenges for Young People and Working Parents
Serhant reflects on how his father's strict upbringing, though initially resented, helped build his resilience and work ethic. He acknowledges the unique challenges today's youth face with constant social media pressure. Heather shares her experience balancing work and motherhood, describing how she's reframed business travel as an investment in her audience's value and her son's future, rather than just serving corporate interests.
Heather's Personal Journey in Podcasting and Parenting
Heather details her podcast's remarkable success, exceeding her monthly goal of 100,000 downloads through strategic promotions, careful guest selection, and consistent audience engagement. In parenting, she focuses on building her son's confidence by encouraging entrepreneurial thinking and teaching him to value self-worth over social media validation. When preparing him for experiences like sleepaway camp, she emphasizes focusing on positives and leveraging his natural ability to connect with others.
1-Page Summary
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Clarifications
- Ryan Serhant's approach to sales, likening it to a first date, involves focusing on building a genuine connection with customers by getting to know them, asking questions, and finding common ground. By treating the sales process like a first date, Serhant emphasizes the importance of creating a comfortable and engaging environment where customers feel valued and understood. This approach aims to shift the dynamic from a high-pressure sales pitch to a more relaxed and personal interaction, ultimately leading to more successful and authentic sales relationships. Serhant's strategy involves guiding customers towards a decision rather than pressuring them, allowing them to feel empowered in their choices.
- In sales, showing higher-priced options first is a strategy known as anchoring. By presenting more expensive choices initially, it can influence the buyer's perception of value, making subsequent, lower-priced options seem more affordable or reasonable in comparison. This technique leverages the psychological principle that the first piece of information a person receives (the anchor) heavily influences their decision-making process. It aims to guide customers towards a purchase by framing their choices within a context that makes the desired option more appealing.
- Reframing business travel as an investment in audience value and son's future involves viewing time away from family as an opportunity to enhance one's professional growth and provide better opportunities for loved ones. By shifting the perspective from mere work obligations to a strategic investment in personal and professional development, individuals can derive more meaning and purpose from their time spent away from home. This mindset allows individuals to align their work commitments with broader goals, such as creating a better future for their children and maximizing the impact of their professional endeavors. It emphasizes the idea that business travel can serve dual purposes, benefiting both the individual's career progression and their family's long-term well-being.
Actionables
- You can practice rapport-building by initiating conversations with strangers in low-stakes environments, like coffee shops or community events, focusing on finding common interests and listening actively to create a connection without the pressure of a sale.
- Engaging with people you don't know can help you develop the skills to quickly find common ground, which is essential in sales. For example, start a chat with someone in line by commenting on the weather, then steer the conversation to discover shared hobbies or experiences.
- Experiment with anchoring prices in your next yard sale or online marketplace listing by setting the initial price slightly higher than what you expect to get.
- This tactic can make your desired price seem more attractive to buyers. If you're selling a used bicycle, list it at a price that's 10-15% higher than the market value to create room for negotiation and make the actual price you're aiming for feel like a good deal to the buyer.
- Encourage confidence in decision-making within your family or friend group by being a sounding board for their choices, reinforcing the positives, and helping them recall past successes when faced with similar decisions.
- For instance, if a friend is unsure about taking a new job, remind them of the times they've adapted to new roles successfully. This support can boost their confidence and help them make a decision that aligns with their inclinations.
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Sales Techniques and Mindset
Ryan Serhant shares his insights on effective sales techniques, emphasizing the importance of building relationships and guiding customers rather than pressuring them.
Ryan Serhant Values Building Rapport Over Aggressive Sales
Serhant Likens Sales To a First Date: Know the Customer, Ask, and Find Common Ground Without Pressure
Ryan Serhant differentiates himself from other salespeople by building rapport and reassuring customers about their choices, likening the sales process to a first date. He argues it’s crucial to avoid being overly aggressive. Instead, he suggests that salespeople should focus on getting to know the customer, asking pertinent questions, listening to their wants and needs, and giving compliments to establish a bond.
Serhant Suggests Showing Customers Relative Value With Options Beyond Their Budget, Then Guiding Them To a Reasonable Choice
Serhant employs a tactic where he gets customers excited about a product beyond their initial budget, making the desired price point seem more reasonable in comparison. He shares an example where being shown an $850 product made $450 appear affordable, even if the initial budget was $250. Serhant applies this strategy in real estate by highlighting wow moments to show customers the relative value and then guiding them back to a choice that aligns with their original intent yet feels upgraded.
Serhant: Successful Selling Helps Customers Make Their Intended Choice
Serhant: A Good Salesperson Values Customer Over Outcome, Gaining Power and Control
Serhant believes that a good salesperson considers whether a customer is interested in a one-time transaction or a longer-term relationship. He emphasizes that successful selling is about helping customers feel confident in decisions they were already inclined to make, possibly speeding up the process. He believes that selling should be seen not as taking from customers but as guiding them through their choices.
Serhant: Sales Guides Customers To Inevitable Decisions
Whe ...
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Sales Techniques and Mindset
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Counterarguments
- While building relationships is important, some sales contexts may require more direct or assertive techniques to close deals within limited time frames.
- Comparing sales to a first date might oversimplify the complexity of some sales processes, especially in B2B environments where decisions are made by committees rather than individuals.
- Showing customers higher-priced options could backfire, leading to decision paralysis or a loss of trust if customers feel manipulated.
- The assumption that customers have an inevitable decision in mind may not account for those who are genuinely undecided or open to persuasion.
- Valuing the customer over the outcome can sometimes conflict with business goals, especially when sales targets and performance metrics are prioritized.
- Guiding customers to decisions they were already inclined to make might not always align with the customer's best interest if their initial inclination is based on i ...
Actionables
- You can practice active listening by summarizing what the customer says and confirming your understanding. This technique ensures you're on the same page and demonstrates that you value their perspective. For example, after a customer explains their needs, you might say, "So, if I understand correctly, you're looking for a solution that offers A, B, and C. Is that right?"
- Create a personal "customer journey map" for each client to visualize their decision-making process. Draw out the steps you believe the customer will take from initial contact to post-sale follow-up, including emotional states and potential questions at each stage. This can help you anticipate their needs and guide them more effectively.
- Develop a set of open-ended questions tailored to ...
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Building a Successful Business and Personal Brand
Ryan Serhant has successfully leveraged television, social media, and authorship to construct a business empire and a personal brand synonymous with real estate success.
Serhant's Brand and Business Built Via Tv, Social Media, and Book
Heather discusses Ryan Serhant's expansive visibility across multiple platforms, explaining how it has been instrumental in building his business and brand.
Serhant Ties His Name and Brand To Success For Growth
Serhant recounts how his appearance on Bravo's "Million Dollar Listing" was a pivotal moment in his career, despite only having been in real estate for a year and a half. His goal to become the top real estate broker in the country is evident, and he acknowledges the role of the show in reaching that status. With millions of dollars in New York real estate sales and expansions across the country, Serhant illustrates the importance of building a reputation and brand associated with success.
Ryan understands the power of branding and consistently works on putting his name out there. He envisions his name becoming synonymous with real estate, which he believes will benefit his business in the long term. Serhant is active on numerous platforms, including social media, his show "Million Dollar Listing," his book, vlogs, and podcasts, all of which further his visibility and reinforce his branding strategy.
Serhant Uses "Inception" to Make Others Think They Want His Offer
Though not directly stated, Serhant shares insight into his strategy similar to "inception," where he subtly influences others to want what he offers. He emphasizes the importance of putting his goals into the atmosphere and subscribes to the idea of positive thinking and vision boards. This strategy likely plays a role in how he communicates and presents himself, subconsciously guiding others to align with his vision, thus creating demand for his services.
Serha ...
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Building a Successful Business and Personal Brand
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Counterarguments
- While leveraging television and social media can be effective, it's not a guaranteed path to success for everyone; individual results can vary widely based on numerous factors.
- Being on a show like "Million Dollar Listing" can provide exposure, but it doesn't necessarily equate to real estate expertise or guarantee top broker status without substantial real-world experience and results.
- The idea of becoming synonymous with real estate success through branding alone may overlook the importance of tangible results and client satisfaction in building a lasting reputation.
- The strategy of "inception" or influencing others to want what one offers could be seen as manipulative if not done transparently and ethically.
- An acting and ...
Actionables
- You can enhance your personal brand by creating a signature online series that showcases your expertise in a field you're passionate about. Start a YouTube channel or Instagram Live series where you share tips, insights, or stories related to your area of expertise. For instance, if you're knowledgeable about gardening, you could start a series called "Garden Gains" where each episode provides viewers with practical gardening advice, showcases transformations, or explores different plant species.
- Develop your public speaking skills by joining a local Toastmasters club or taking an improv comedy class. These activities will not only improve your confidence when speaking in public but also teach you how to engage an audience effectively. As you get better, volunteer to speak at community events or host workshops to practice your skills in real-world settings.
- Create a personal "brand inception" kit that includes key phrases, imagery, and stories that represent your brand. Use these elements consistently a ...
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Confidence and Success Challenges for Young People and Working Parents
Serhant and Heather discuss the various challenges faced by young people in building confidence in a digital age and the struggles of working parents in balancing professional growth with family life.
Serhant on Teenage Confidence, Rejection, and Peer Pressure
Father's Tough Approach Built Serhant's Resilience and Work Ethic
Serhant reflects on his childhood experiences that shaped his ability to handle rejection and peer pressure. He notes the importance of personal connections and the unique challenges faced by young people today, who must contend with the pressures from social media platforms like Snapchat. This constant connection means kids now have to face pressures from peers around the clock. Serhant does not delve into specifics about his father's approach, but he details his initial resentment of his strict upbringing, only to realize its benefits later. His father instilled the value of work, which deeply influenced his work ethic. A poignant memory Serhant shares is of being marched down to knock on neighbors' doors to make friends, a terrifying yet formative experience that helped him build confidence and social skills.
Heather on Challenges Of Balancing Work and Family As a Parent
Heather opens up about the difficulties of meshing her aspirations in business with her role as a mother, especially when her son was younger. Recalling the heartache of leaving behind her young son who couldn't understand her absences, Heather admits to the emotional toll of hearing her son's distress over the phone during her work commitments.
Although no additional information is provided, Heather offers a perspective on how her views towards business travel have evolved. Now seeing her trips, such as those to New York for business meetings, as in ...
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Confidence and Success Challenges for Young People and Working Parents
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Actionables
- You can foster resilience by setting small, daily challenges for yourself that push you out of your comfort zone. Start with something as simple as striking up a conversation with a stranger or trying a new activity that you've been hesitant about. Over time, these small steps can build your confidence and resilience, much like the process of knocking on neighbors' doors to make friends.
- To balance personal and professional life, create a "time investment plan" that allocates specific hours to work and family. For instance, designate uninterrupted family time during evenings or weekends, and communicate these boundaries to colleagues and clients. This approach can help you manage the emotional distress of work commitments while ensuring quality time with loved ones.
- Develop ...
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Heather's Personal Journey in Podcasting and Parenting
Heather shares her experiences in the realms of podcasting and parenting, detailing the systematic approach she took to surpass her podcast download goals and the strategies she employs to foster her son's confidence.
Heather Exceeded Podcast Download Goals First Month
Heather set an ambitious vision for her podcast, initially aiming for 30,000 downloads, but aspiring to reach a million within the first year. She credits her listeners for helping her exceed her monthly goal of 100,000 downloads, which she has surpassed in the show's first month, thanks to their subscriptions, ratings, and reviews.
Heather Credits Strategic Promotions, Guest Picks, and Listener Engagement for the Podcast's Growth
To achieve her goals, Heather focused on strategic promotions, carefully selecting guests who would post about her podcast, and utilized her circle of influence for support. She responded to every direct message and consistently engaged with her audience. Heather emphasizes the importance of creating a strong product to attract and retain listeners. She also mentions utilizing social media for promotion and as a method to drive listener engagement.
Upon her return from New York, Heather was thrilled to find her podcast had achieved over 100,000 downloads, greatly exceeding her initial expectations. She thanks subscribers for their role in this success and shares the importance of Apple Podcasts' algorithm in helping promote shows like hers. She encourages her listeners to envision success and push themselves as she has done.
Heather Builds Her Son's Confidence By Praising His Maturity and Entrepreneurial Spirit
Heather prides herself on instilling confidence in her child, encouraging him to embrace his self-worth and teaching him the value of not seeking validation from social media. She illustrates this with anecdotes about her son, who demonstrate ...
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Heather's Personal Journey in Podcasting and Parenting
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Counterarguments
- While Heather's initial success with her podcast is commendable, it's important to note that early success doesn't always predict long-term sustainability. Audience interests can change, and maintaining high download numbers can become more challenging over time.
- Achieving a high number of downloads is an impressive feat, but it doesn't necessarily equate to listener retention or engagement. Quality of content and listener loyalty are also critical factors for a podcast's success.
- Heather's strategic approach to promotions and guest selection is smart, but it could also be argued that focusing too much on strategic choices might limit the diversity of voices and topics on her podcast, potentially alienating some listeners who seek varied content.
- The reliance on social media for promotion and engagement can be a double-edged sword, as algorithms change and platforms evolve. This strategy may need to adapt to ensure continued growth and engagement.
- Heather's emphasis on the Apple Podcasts' algorithm highlights the importance of platform-specific strategies, but it also suggests a potential vulnerability to changes in the algorithm that could affect visibility.
- Encouraging her son's entrepreneurial spirit is positive, but it's also important ...
Actionables
- You can set ambitious personal goals and track your progress using a goal-setting app like Strides, which allows you to input specific targets and timelines, and then monitors your daily actions towards achieving those goals. For instance, if you aim to read 50 books in a year, the app can help you keep track of the books you've read and motivate you to stay on pace.
- Create a personal reward system to celebrate your achievements, similar to how Heather's son used gift cards for YouTube subscriber giveaways. For example, treat yourself to a favorite activity or small luxury item each time you reach a milestone in your personal or professional life, reinforcing positive behavior and encouraging you to push for the next goal.
- Engage with your communi ...
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