Podcasts > Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan > #514 Why the Best Networkers Don’t “Network” (And What They Do Instead) with Scott MacGregor, Founder of the Outlier Project

#514 Why the Best Networkers Don’t “Network” (And What They Do Instead) with Scott MacGregor, Founder of the Outlier Project

By Heather Monahan

In this episode of Creating Confidence, Scott MacGregor discusses his views on building long-lasting professional relationships as an alternative to traditional networking. MacGregor explains why typical networking approaches often feel transactional, and shares how focusing on authentic connections without agendas or timelines can lead to more meaningful collaborations.

The episode covers MacGregor's practical methods for maintaining valuable relationships, including his approach to using his phone as a relationship management tool and his strategies for making meaningful gestures that help others feel valued. MacGregor also describes the Outlier Project, a community he founded to facilitate connections between people interested in learning from diverse perspectives through live interactions.

#514 Why the Best Networkers Don’t “Network” (And What They Do Instead) with Scott MacGregor, Founder of the Outlier Project

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#514 Why the Best Networkers Don’t “Network” (And What They Do Instead) with Scott MacGregor, Founder of the Outlier Project

1-Page Summary

Networking Vs. Building Relationships

Scott MacGregor offers a fresh perspective on professional connections, emphasizing the importance of building genuine relationships over traditional networking approaches.

The Value of Authentic Connections

MacGregor describes networking as "drive-by friendship," characterizing it as temporary and transactional. Instead, he advocates for building authentic relationships without timelines or agendas. He suggests that genuine connections naturally lead to collaborative opportunities, which might not emerge from purely transactional interactions.

In discussing friendship levels, MacGregor proposes that while knowing and liking someone qualifies them as a friend, deep connections shouldn't be rushed. He cautions against making premature requests in new relationships, advocating instead for building substantial goodwill before making asks.

Strategies For Creating Meaningful Connections

MacGregor shares his practical approach to maintaining high-impact relationships. He uses his phone as a CRM tool to track important details about his connections, including birthdays, hobbies, and life events. He maintains a "Who's Your Oprah" list of key influencers he regularly nurtures, believing these relationships can lead to positive change.

To make others feel valued, MacGregor employs personalized gestures such as video birthday wishes and handwritten notes. He emphasizes the importance of being unique in these gestures, ensuring they leave a lasting impact.

The Outlier Project Community and Events

MacGregor founded the Outlier Project to create a community where like-hearted individuals can connect through live interactions. The project brings together people who value diverse thoughts and are interested in learning from those with different perspectives, featuring interactive discussions with notable individuals like Heather Monahan and Jesse Itzler.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While genuine relationships are valuable, traditional networking can still be effective for certain professional goals and industries.
  • Not all networking is transactional; some professionals are capable of forming meaningful connections in traditional networking settings.
  • Authentic connections may lead to opportunities, but they also require significant time and emotional investment, which may not be practical or desirable for everyone.
  • Deep connections are important, but not all professional relationships need to be deep to be beneficial.
  • Using a phone as a CRM tool might not be as efficient or secure as using dedicated CRM software designed for managing professional relationships.
  • The "Who's Your Oprah" strategy could be seen as still having an agenda, as it focuses on nurturing relationships with key influencers for potential benefits.
  • Personalized gestures are thoughtful, but they may not always be appropriate or welcomed in all professional contexts.
  • Unique gestures to leave a lasting impact can sometimes be misinterpreted or may not align with the preferences of the recipient.
  • The Outlier Project's focus on like-hearted individuals could unintentionally create an echo chamber, limiting exposure to truly diverse thoughts and perspectives.
  • Interactive discussions with notable individuals are valuable, but they may not always translate into actionable insights for participants or reflect the experiences of the broader community.

Actionables

  • You can deepen your relationships by starting a personal growth book club with a small group of contacts. Invite them to read and discuss books that focus on personal development, business, or other areas of mutual interest. This shared experience can foster authentic connections and collaborative opportunities without the pressure of immediate networking gains.
  • Organize a 'Connection Reflection' day each month where you review your recent interactions and identify individuals with whom you'd like to build a stronger relationship. Instead of reaching out with a request, offer something of value based on what you know about them, such as an article, a podcast recommendation, or an introduction to someone who could help with their goals.
  • Create a 'Memory Lane' digital album for your contacts where you collect photos or mementos from interactions you've had with them. Use this album to reminisce and share memories when reaching out on special occasions or when you want to reconnect, showing that you value the history and depth of your relationship.

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#514 Why the Best Networkers Don’t “Network” (And What They Do Instead) with Scott MacGregor, Founder of the Outlier Project

Networking Vs. Building Relationships

In a world increasingly focused on professional networking, Scott MacGregor provides an alternative perspective on how to foster deeper, more meaningful connections.

Networking Is Transactional, but Genuine Relationships Are Sustainable

Heather recalls how her initial LinkedIn networking with Scott blossomed into a genuine relationship when he offered unsolicited help regarding NYU for her then-fiancé's daughter. This gesture showed Scott's intent to provide support beyond a mere transactional interaction.

Scott Views Networking As Drive-By Friendship, Focusing On True Friendships Without a Timeline or Agenda

Scott MacGregor's philosophy centers around the distinction between fleeting, goal-oriented networking and lasting, sincere friendships. He labels networking as transactional and temporary—a form of "drive-by friendship" that lacks durability. Instead, he suggests that successful networking results from building true relationships without a timeline or an agenda. By eschewing a monetizing approach, he finds that genuine connections organically lead to collaborative opportunities, like being featured in books and podcasts, which might not have arisen from a short-term, transactional mindset.

Scott Differentiates Between "Friend" and Close Best Friend

Scott takes a unique stance in categorizing various levels of friendship. He proposes that knowing and liking someone qualifies them as a friend, but there is no need to rush into making deep connections immediately. He cr ...

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Networking Vs. Building Relationships

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Networking can be both meaningful and transactional; it doesn't have to be one or the other.
  • Some professional relationships require a level of transaction to function effectively and can still be genuine.
  • Networking with a specific goal or timeline can be beneficial and efficient for certain professional objectives.
  • Immediate "asks" or requests in a professional relationship can be appropriate and expected in certain industries or contexts.
  • Not all genuine relationships need to be deep or without an agenda; sometimes a shared agenda can strengthen a professional bond.
  • Transactional networking can lead to opportunities for deeper connections and should not be dismissed as merely tempora ...

Actionables

  • You can initiate a 'friendship book club' where the focus is on sharing personal insights and growth rather than just discussing the book. Start a small group with a few acquaintances interested in reading, and meet monthly to discuss a book that's meaningful to you. The twist is that each member shares a personal story or challenge related to the book's theme, fostering a space for vulnerability and deeper connection.
  • Organize a 'skill-swap' session within your community to build relationships based on mutual support. Offer to teach something you're good at, like cooking a special dish or fixing a bike, and in exchange, learn a new skill from someone else. This creates an environment of reciprocity and shared interests, which can be the foundation for meaningful friendships.
  • Create a 'gratitude circ ...

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#514 Why the Best Networkers Don’t “Network” (And What They Do Instead) with Scott MacGregor, Founder of the Outlier Project

Strategies For Creating Meaningful Connections

Scott MacGregor shares insights on how to maintain high-impact relationships using consistent, thoughtful touchpoints, demonstrating through his own experiences the power of genuine connections and the strategies he employs to nurture his network and make others feel valued.

Scott Maintains High-Impact Relationships Through Consistent, Thoughtful Touchpoints

Scott MacGregor emphasizes the importance of viewing connections as friendships from the onset, affecting how interactions are approached and transforming acquaintanceship into deeper, more meaningful relationships over time. He stresses showing up for people as a cornerstone of strong relationships, recounting how Heather's consistent support, even at inconvenient times, exemplifies the thoughtful gestures that maintain such high-impact relationships.

Scott Uses His Phone As a CRM to Track Key Details About His Network, Like Birthdays, Hobbies, and Life Events

MacGregor explains that he uses his phone like a customer relationship management (CRM) tool, tracking essential information about his network. He meticulously records details, including family members' names, pets, addresses, cell phone numbers, birthdays, anniversaries, and hobbies. This facilitates an organized approach to personal interactions and aids in remembering critical details that help him make each touchpoint unique and memorable.

Scott Has a "Who's Your Oprah" List of Key Influencers He Regularly Nurtures

Scott maintains a "Who's Your Oprah" list, which includes influential people in his life who he believes have the potential to effect positive change in the world. He diligently nurtures these relationships by reaching out and investing in meaningful interactions, recognizing that these ties can lead to greater opportunities for doing good.

Scott Highlights Personalized Gestures to Make Others Feel Valued

Scott incorporates personalized gestures into his interaction strategies to make others feel valued and unique. He prides himself on standing out and offering genuine care. The tactics include sending video birthday wishes, handwritten notes on random days, or peculiar gifts that resonate with the recipient.

Scott Uses Notes, Videos, and Gifts to Connect With His Network

MacGregor describes how he sends ...

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Strategies For Creating Meaningful Connections

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Viewing all connections as friendships might not be appropriate in every professional context, where boundaries are necessary for maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
  • Consistent support can sometimes lead to dependency or be misinterpreted as overbearing, especially if the frequency and intensity of interactions are not mutually desired.
  • Using a phone as a CRM might not be as secure or efficient as using dedicated CRM software, which is designed to handle sensitive information and complex relationship management tasks.
  • Maintaining a "Who's Your Oprah" list could be seen as having a utilitarian approach to relationships, where individuals are valued for their influence rather than their intrinsic worth.
  • Personalized gestures, while thoughtful, may not always be welcomed or could be perceived as too personal, especially if the relationship is not close enough to warrant such intimacy.
  • Sending video messages and gifts can be time-consuming and may not always be the preferred method of communication for everyone in one's network.
  • Valuing uniqueness and standing out can sometimes come acro ...

Actionables

  • You can deepen connections by starting a personal growth book club with your network. Invite friends and professional contacts to read and discuss books focused on personal development or industry-specific knowledge. This shared learning experience can strengthen bonds and provide a platform for consistent support and engagement.
  • Create a 'Connection Calendar' to schedule regular check-ins with your network. Use a digital calendar to set reminders for reaching out to individuals in your network. These check-ins could be as simple as a message to catch up or an invitation to a virtual coffee chat. This habit ensures you're providing consistent support and personal attention without relying on memory alone.
  • Develo ...

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#514 Why the Best Networkers Don’t “Network” (And What They Do Instead) with Scott MacGregor, Founder of the Outlier Project

The Outlier Project Community and Events

The Outlier Project is a community that thrives on valuing diverse thoughts and hosting various events to strengthen the bonds among its members.

The Outlier Project: Valuing Diverse Thoughts

Community for Live Interactions to Develop Relationships and Learn

Scott MacGregor, founder of the Outlier Project and Outlier Magazine, started the community to bring together interesting people from his network for live and interactive discussions. He emphasizes that the Outlier Project consists of like-hearted people who value divergent thoughts and are ...

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The Outlier Project Community and Events

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While valuing diverse thoughts is commendable, it can be challenging to ensure that all voices are heard equally, especially in larger communities.
  • Hosting events is a great way to strengthen bonds, but it may not be accessible to all members, such as those with scheduling conflicts or who live in different time zones.
  • The success of a community often depends on the charisma and leadership of its founder, but it's important to ensure that the community can sustain itself and thrive even without the direct involvement of its founder.
  • Live discussions are valuable, but they may not cater to individuals who prefer other forms of communication or learning, such as written discussions or recorded content.
  • The concept of "like-hearted" people suggests a certain level of homogeneity in values, which could unintentionally exclude individuals who may have different but valuable perspectives. ...

Actionables

  • You can start a virtual book club focusing on titles that explore diverse perspectives and encourage divergent thinking. Invite friends or acquaintances from different backgrounds to join monthly discussions, ensuring that each book selected challenges the status quo or presents unconventional ideas. This will not only broaden your own thinking but also foster a sense of community among participants who value different viewpoints.
  • Create a personal challenge to have a "conversation with a stranger" once a week, aiming to meet individuals from various walks of life. Whether it's at a coffee shop, park, or online forum, engage in meaningful dialogue with someone you wouldn't typically interact with. This practice can help you develop empathy, learn from others, and appreciate the richness of diverse thoughts in your everyday life.
  • Develop a habit of reflective journaling after engagin ...

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