Confidence Classic: NEVER Let Imposter Syndrome Hold You Back with Michelle “Mace” Curran Former Fighter Pilot & Founder of Upside Down Dreams
In this episode of Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan, former fighter pilot Michelle "Mace" Curran discusses overcoming self-doubt and imposter syndrome. Curran shares her personal journey of battling feelings of inadequacy despite her significant achievements. She reveals the strategies that enabled her to embrace vulnerability, challenge perfectionism, and gain perspective from supportive team environments where mistakes were seen as learning opportunities.
The conversation also covers the importance of vulnerability in leadership, the challenges women face in male-dominated fields, and Curran's transition from the military to entrepreneurship and public speaking. Through her experiences, Curran offers insights on cultivating self-belief, building trust, and pursuing one's passions while navigating self-doubt.
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1-Page Summary
Overcoming Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
Michelle Curran, a former fighter pilot, shares how she battled feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome throughout her career. Despite significant achievements, Curran felt unworthy and considered leaving due to self-doubt. She acknowledges her doubts and makes a conscious promise to seize opportunities. Curran learns to differentiate high standards from perfectionism, and embraces vulnerability, facing fears by not letting anxiety guide her decisions. A supportive team environment where everyone admits mistakes helps her gain perspective.
The Role of Vulnerability and Trust in Leadership
Curran challenges the notion that vulnerability is a weakness, noting that the best leaders admit lacking all answers. This fosters cohesive teams. Heather Monahan echoes this, regretting past desires to appear infallible and highlighting how admitting vulnerability and seeking help bolsters team strength through collaboration.
Curran emphasizes trust, especially in high-pressure environments like the Thunderbirds she was part of. Intense accountability practices encourage owning up to mistakes. Contrasting environments - one with ridicule, the other prioritizing trust and psychological safety - taught Curran that learning from failures enhances performance more than pursuing perfection.
Navigating a Male-Dominated Field as a Woman
As one of few female fighter pilots, Curran initially felt she had to conform to the male-dominated culture, viewing her gender as a weakness. She avoided seeking mentorship to prove herself. When stationed with other female pilots, she realized her struggles were shared.
Curran later saw her gender as a strength with the Thunderbirds, inspiring diverse audiences through her unique perspective. Monahan relates to feeling she couldn't show weakness in corporate America.
Transitioning From the Military to Entrepreneurship and Speaking
Inspired by her impactful Thunderbirds role, Curran founded Upside Down Dreams to pursue speaking and entrepreneurship, guided by mentors. Despite doubts, her self-belief and visualization techniques enabled her to embrace this new path, driven by her passion for service. Seven months in, she feels rewarded, sharing lessons through content to benefit others.
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Counterarguments
- Vulnerability in leadership can sometimes be perceived as a lack of confidence or decisiveness, which could potentially undermine a leader's authority in certain situations.
- Admitting a lack of answers might not always foster team cohesion, especially if team members expect their leaders to provide direction and solutions.
- While a supportive team environment is beneficial, excessive focus on admitting mistakes could potentially lead to a culture of over-caution and risk aversion.
- Trust and psychological safety are important, but in some high-pressure environments, they might conflict with the need for quick decision-making and assertiveness.
- The idea that learning from failures is more beneficial than pursuing perfection could be challenged by the argument that a balance between learning from mistakes and striving for excellence is necessary for optimal performance.
- The notion that gender can be a strength in a male-dominated field might not resonate with everyone, as some may believe that focusing on gender could perpetuate division rather than promote inclusivity.
- The transition from military to entrepreneurship is not universally rewarding and can be fraught with unique challenges that might not be as fulfilling or successful for everyone.
- The effectiveness of visualization techniques and self-belief as tools for overcoming self-doubt can vary greatly among individuals, and some may require more concrete strategies or support.
- The concept of mentorship as a sign of strength could be debated, as some might view the ability to succeed independently as a greater demonstration of capability.
Actionables
- You can start a "Vulnerability Journal" where you document instances where you feel inadequate or face imposter syndrome, noting the outcomes when you choose to be vulnerable. This practice can help you track your progress in overcoming these feelings and see the positive results of vulnerability, such as increased trust and collaboration with colleagues.
- Create a "Mistake of the Month" club with your peers where each person shares a significant mistake they've made and the lessons learned from it. This encourages a culture of openness and learning from failures, reinforcing the idea that admitting mistakes is a strength, not a weakness.
- Develop a personal "Passion Project" that aligns with your values and interests outside of your current career path. Dedicate time each week to this project, allowing you to explore new opportunities and potentially transition into a new field or venture, much like pursuing entrepreneurship or public speaking.
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Overcoming Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
Michelle Curran narrates how she conquered imposter syndrome and self-doubt by shifting her mindset and intentionally embracing challenging opportunities.
Acknowledging and Managing Self-Doubt Is Crucial for Success
Michelle Overcame Imposter Syndrome Through Mindset Shifts
Curran admits she grappled with profound self-doubt and imposter syndrome throughout her career, particularly as a female fighter pilot in a male-dominated field. Despite her significant achievements, including qualifying as a fighter jet pilot, she felt unworthy and considered leaving the service due to these crippling doubts.
However, Michelle's journey was not to allow self-doubt to hold her back. She recalls the excitement of flying fighter jets and discusses how the thrill initially masked her doubts. But as time went on, she realized that her perspective didn't always align with reality. She describes being filled with fear and self-doubt in Japan and recognizes the moment she decided that she had to save herself as "extremely empowering."
Curran outlines practical steps she took to battle her feelings of inadequacy, such as acknowledging her doubts and making a conscious promise to herself to seize opportunities. She also learned to differentiate her high standards from perfectionism, becoming more accepting of the natural setbacks that even experienced pilots face.
Even as a shy kid who was terrified of being put on the spot, Curran faced her fears by acknowledging them and proceeding despite the anxiety they caused. A particularly telling moment came when she questioned her readiness for a paid speaking event, revealing a glimpse of her imposter syndrome resurfacing.
Michelle employed intentional self-work and mindset shifting tactics to control her self-doubt. By saying yes to opportunities and making bold choices, she became acutely aware of her doubts but didn't let them guide her decisions.
Supportive Team Embracing Vulnerab ...
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Overcoming Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
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Counterarguments
- While mindset shifts and embracing challenges can be effective for some, they may not be sufficient for everyone. Other individuals may require additional support, such as therapy or counseling, to overcome deep-seated self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
- The idea that managing self-doubt is crucial for success might imply that those who struggle with it are less likely to succeed, which is not necessarily true. Success can be achieved through various means and coping mechanisms, and self-doubt does not preclude success.
- The narrative suggests that self-doubt is something to be overcome or battled, but some psychologists argue that self-doubt can serve as a useful check on overconfidence and can lead to more careful decision-making and personal growth.
- The emphasis on individual mindset shifts may overlook systemic issues that contribute to feelings of imposter syndrome, particularly for women in male-dominated fields. Structural changes in such environments might be necessary alongside individual efforts.
- The story of Michelle Curran's personal triumph over self-doubt is inspiring, but it may not be generalizable. What works for one person may not work for another due to different personalities, life experiences, and circumstances.
- The notion of making a conscious promise to seize opportunities assumes that opportunities are available and accessible to all, which may not be the case for individuals facing socioeconomic barriers or discrimination.
- Differentiating high standards from perfectionism is a nuanced process and may not be as clear-cut as suggested. For some, high standards can sti ...
Actionables
- Create a "Challenge Journal" to document and reflect on your experiences when stepping out of your comfort zone. Start by choosing a new challenge each week, whether it's speaking up in a meeting or trying a new hobby. After each challenge, write down how you felt before, during, and after the experience, focusing on any self-doubt you experienced and how you addressed it. This practice can help you recognize patterns in your self-doubt and build confidence through repeated exposure to challenging situations.
- Develop a "Setback Recovery Plan" to navigate through moments of failure or setbacks without letting them fuel self-doubt. Identify a recent setback and write down three constructive actions you can take to move forward, such as seeking feedback, adjusting your approach, or dedicating time to skill-building. By having a plan in place, you can shift your focus from feelings of inadequacy to proactive steps for improvement, fostering resilience and a growth mindset.
- Organize a "Vulne ...
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The Role of Vulnerability and Trust in Leadership
In their candid discussions, Michelle Curran and Heather Monahan address how vulnerability and trust play crucial roles in effective leadership and the formation of cohesive, high-performing teams.
Leaders Admit Lacking all Answers
Michelle Curran challenges the misconception that vulnerability is a weakness in leadership. From her experience, the best leaders were those who could admit they did not have all the answers. This, she notes, helped build cohesive teams. These leaders didn't pretend to know everything nor did they always showcase confidence. Heather Monahan echoes this sentiment, regretting her past desire to appear infallible and acknowledging how admitting vulnerability and seeking help is actually valuable. It invites collaboration and draws support from others, bolstering the team’s strength.
Fostering Trust and Accountability for Constructive Mistake Handling Builds High-Performing Teams
Curran highlights the importance of trust within her team, especially within high-pressure environments like the Thunderbirds, which she is a part of. She provides insight into their intense accountability practices, where pilots gather after every flight to meticulously review and own up to any mistakes. This high accountability expectation, applied regardless of rank or experience, cultivates humility and cont ...
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The Role of Vulnerability and Trust in Leadership
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- Vulnerability might sometimes be perceived as a weakness in leadership, potentially undermining a leader's authority or decisiveness in the eyes of some team members or stakeholders.
- Admitting vulnerability and seeking help could, in certain contexts, lead to a decrease in confidence from team members, especially if they expect leaders to provide direction and solutions.
- Trust is important, but too much trust in leadership without proper checks and balances can lead to complacency or a lack of critical oversight.
- While accountability is key, overly meticulous mistake handling might create a culture of fear or excessive self-criticism, which could hinder creativity and risk-taking.
- Psychological safety is crucial, but there must be a balance t ...
Actionables
- Start a "Vulnerability Journal" where you document moments you felt unsure or needed help, and note the outcomes when you shared these feelings with your team. This practice will help you track the impact of vulnerability on team dynamics and personal growth. For example, if you were hesitant about a project direction, write down how expressing this led to a brainstorming session that improved the project.
- Implement a "Mistake of the Month" discussion in your team meetings where members voluntarily share a recent error and what they learned from it. This normalizes the process of learning from mistakes and reinforces psychological safety. An example could be someone sharing how a miscommunication with a client was a learning opportunity for improving the team's briefing process.
- Create a "Trust Pact" with your team ...
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Navigating a Male-Dominated Field as a Woman
Michelle shares her journey as a female fighter pilot, detailing the self-doubt she faced and how she transformed her perspective to see her gender as a source of strength in the male-dominated military aviation industry.
Female Fighter Pilot Michelle's Initial Self-Doubt
Michelle Curran reflects on her significant self-work to overcome self-doubt. Entering the field of fighter pilots, she felt an additional layer of challenges due to the few women in the industry and male-dominated culture. Michelle felt overwhelmed and that she didn't naturally fit into the very type A and confident fighter pilot culture. Initially, to avoid showing weakness or asking for help in an effort to prove herself, she did not seek mentorship. However, this began to change when she was stationed in Masao, Japan, and found other female fighter pilots, which was empowering and made her realize that her struggles were shared.
Michelle Saw Her Gender As a Weakness, Feeling Constantly Scrutinized
In her first assignment, Michelle was one of only four female pilots among about a hundred F-16 pilots. She viewed being a woman as a weakness, feeling she had to conform to a culture that didn't align with her true self and that she had something to prove. Michelle felt under a constant microscope and was aware of those waiting for her to fail.
Heather Monahan related to Michelle's experiences, explaining her similar feelings in a very male-dominated business in corporate America. She also felt the need to appear strong, confident, and as if she didn't need help in order to warrant ...
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Navigating a Male-Dominated Field as a Woman
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Actionables
- You can reframe perceived weaknesses by listing them and then writing down how each could be seen as a strength. For example, if you think being detail-oriented slows you down, consider how it leads to higher quality work and fewer mistakes.
- Start a peer support group in your workplace or community to share experiences and strategies for overcoming self-doubt. This could be as simple as a monthly coffee meet-up where each person shares a challenge and the group brainstorms solutions together.
- Create a personal "br ...
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Transitioning From the Military to Entrepreneurship and Speaking
In detailing her journey, Michelle Curran discusses how a purpose-driven approach informed her transition from a military career to the realms of entrepreneurship and public speaking.
Michelle's Purpose-Driven Approach Guided Her Career Transition
Inspired by Her Thunderbirds Role, Michelle Pursued Speaking and Entrepreneurship
Michelle Curran founded her company, Upside Down Dreams, drawing inspiration from her impactful role as the lead solo for the Thunderbirds. Her military service, particularly the part involving inspiring others and making a tangible impact on their lives, has directed her focus toward speaking and entrepreneurship. Mentors and the realization of the power of mentorship played a crucial role in guiding her through this career transition.
Michelle's Bold Decisions and Visualizations Conquered Fears and Embraced Entrepreneurship
Curran was clear on her goals and employed the same determination she'd had when aspiring to be a fighter pilot—or potentially joining the FBI or CIA—to her entrepreneurial endeavors. Amidst the uncertainties posed by the pandemic and the security of a military career, Curran chose a different path that was propelled by the fulfillment she found in mentoring and impacting lives during her Thunderbirds tenure.
Despite moments of doubt, Curran's self-reflective mindset and belief in her ability to make things happen facilitated a confident shift ...
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Transitioning From the Military to Entrepreneurship and Speaking
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Counterarguments
- While Michelle's military service may have provided her with unique skills and experiences, not all veterans may find the transition to entrepreneurship and public speaking as seamless or fulfilling.
- The success of a mentorship-driven approach may not be universally applicable, as some individuals may thrive without mentorship or may not have access to quality mentors.
- Determination and visualization techniques are helpful, but they may not be sufficient for all aspiring entrepreneurs, especially when facing systemic barriers or lacking in resources.
- The decision to leave a secure military career for entrepreneurship carries significant financial risks that might not be advisable for everyone, especially those with dependents or without a financial safety net.
- Personal motivation and a sense of control are important, but the success of a new business often depends on external factors such as market conditions, competition, and consumer trends, which ...
Actionables
- You can identify a role model who embodies the career shift you aspire to make by researching professionals in your desired field and reaching out to them for an informational interview. This allows you to understand the steps they took, the challenges they faced, and how they overcame them, providing you with a blueprint for your own transition.
- Create a "fear-facing" plan by listing down the fears associated with your career change and then systematically confronting them through small, manageable actions. For example, if you're afraid of public speaking, start by speaking in front of a mirror, then to a small group of friends, gradually working your way up to larger audiences.
- Develop a self-reflect ...
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