In this episode of Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan, guest Kute Blackson examines the nature of the ego and its resistance to surrender. He explains that the ego, formed from childhood trauma and conditioning, builds walls to avoid vulnerability, hindering personal growth and transformation.
Blackson outlines the process of surrender, highlighting the importance of grieving losses, embracing truth, and aligning one's thoughts, feelings, and actions with authenticity. He shares how surrender transcends the ego's limitations, initiating insight, healing, and opportunities that fulfill one's true purpose.
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According to Kute Blackson, the ego develops from childhood trauma and conditioning, building walls and suppressing emotions to avoid vulnerability. This conditioned identity resists surrender, viewing it as a threat to its existence that controls life to prevent further pain.
Blackson explains that surrender involves grieving and honoring the loss of aspects of ourselves, identities, and dreams. Many avoid this grieving process, preventing full transformation. But feeling grief leads to release and openness to new beginnings.
Embracing truth, accepting each moment, and aligning thoughts, feelings, and actions with authenticity rather than ego desires is crucial for surrender, Blackson asserts. Facing self-deceptions allows true acceptance, while spiritual alignment moves us beyond the ego and engages with life's deeper purposes.
Surrender transcends ego limitations, Blackson shares, providing insight into life's higher vision and potential for the soul's evolution. It initiates personal growth and healing by releasing attachments, creating space for new opportunities that fulfill our true purpose when we trust life's wisdom.
1-Page Summary
Kute Blackson discusses the complexities of the ego, elaborating on its development from childhood conditioning and trauma, and its subsequent resistance to the concept of surrender.
Children develop the ego as a defense mechanism strategy in response to childhood experiences such as alcoholic parents, mental health issues, or trauma and dysfunction within the family. To function and survive the feelings of anger, hurt, pain, and fear, they learn to suppress emotions, leading to a buildup of unfelt feelings, which hides their true essence. As these children grow, they develop various defense mechanisms and strategies, including erecting walls around their hearts and disconnecting from their emotions. Activities such as overachieving are often engaged in to avoid dealing with these suppressed feelings.
As children are initially born free and expressive, they cry and laugh freely without self-judgment. Blackson states that trauma and conditioning gradually replace this unencumbered existence with more restrained behavior, which protects from further pain but also leads to an ego-driven identity that is resistant to surrender. By using these survival mechanisms to avoid pain and seek love, validation, and approval, individuals hold onto a persona very tightly, leading to an identification with this conditioned ego.
Blackson notes that empathy can relax the egoic part of us, which suggests that ego's natural state is one of resistance to surrender. The ego works to reinforce its existence by attempting to control everything as a strategy to prevent future hurt. Trying to force surrender can become another ego technique to maintain this control and likewise a ...
The nature of the ego and its resistance to surrender
Kute Blackson explains that true surrender and transformation involve a crucial, often overlooked, phase: grieving.
According to Blackson, surrender is akin to death – the death of one's ego, former versions of oneself, dreams, and identities. This transition can relate to various aspects such as ending a phase of life, a job, or moving through life’s ages and the changing realities that accompany them. To fully embrace the new phase or reality, it's necessary to grieve what was, to release it completely.
Blackson observes that many people resist allowing themselves to grieve what they've lost or the changes that have occurred. This avoidance can be due to fear that the grieving proces ...
The process of grieving and letting go as part of surrender
Kute Blackson's experiences and insights underline the essential role of truth, acceptance, and alignment in the process of surrender.
In his reflections on writing a book and caring for his ailing mother, Blackson realized that embracing the truth was crucial. He had initially resisted writing about surrender but had to accept that, truthfully, it felt like the right topic for him. When dealing with his mother's illness, he understood the importance of truthfully accepting each moment's value, whether simple or grand. This acceptance led to a deeper understanding and alignment with the reality of his circumstances.
Identifying the lies and self-deceptions that prevent one from seeing their situation clearly allows for true acceptance. This was apparent in Blackson's journey, where confronting self-deception was an integral step. He underscores the need to ask oneself about the untruths and confusions we construct to avoid difficult realities. Only by facing these uncomfortable truths can individuals embark on the path to genuine acceptance.
Moving from ego-based desires to a life that is in alignment with the universe's intentions is a shift Blackson highlights as key to surrender. It involves a harmony between what is true, authentic, and of integrity. Brainstorming book ideas, Blackson realized the ones he initially thought of were clever but not authentic to him. Once he aligned his thoughts and ideas with what was gen ...
The importance of truth, acceptance, and alignment in surrender
Kute Blackson explores the concept of surrender, sharing personal insights and experiences that showcase its potential for profound personal growth, healing, and fulfillment of life's purpose.
Blackson shares an epiphany about writing his book on surrender when he realized that none of his other book ideas felt right. The concept of surrender felt true and like the work he was meant to create. He attributes this realization to a "download and epiphany" that set him on fire with purpose, beyond monetary gain. He connects the seed of the book to his time with his mother through her illness, which underscored the transformative nature of surrender in his own growth.
By letting go of control and aligning with the deeper intelligence of life, Blackson believes one can access possibilities beyond the limitations of the mind's imagination. Surrendering means letting go of who we think we should be and how we think life should unfold. It involves going deeper to find out who we really are, a journey that is not a breakdown, but a breakthrough to our "true soul's destiny."
Kute Blackson's mother exemplified surrender by expressing freedom from attachment to life or death and aligning her will with a higher power, which brought her peace. Blackson emphasizes how surrender allows us to transcend the ego's limitations and tap into a higher dimension of potential and power, achieving greatness beyond our own envisioning.
Blackson further illustrates how things that, from the ego's perspective, may seem negative or undesirable can lead to positive outcomes, teaching us that surrender involves trusting life's intelligence and magic that can bring forth opportunities beyond our comprehension. He frames surrender as allowing life to guide us, opening ourselves to insights and possibilities we hadn't considered.
Embracing surrender fully can lead us to participate more fluidly in life's processes. It's a natural part of life's journey that aligns us with the deeper flow of life. Blackson talks about the "magic of sur ...
The transformative power and benefits of true surrender
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