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46. Performative People & The Violence Of Being Ignored

By Leo Skepi

In this episode of Aware & Aggravated, Leo Skepi examines how anonymous social media profiles enable harmful behavior without consequences. He discusses the need for identity verification and legal accountability, particularly for serious offenses like swatting and cyberbullying that leads to self-harm. Skepi also addresses the prevalence of inauthentic behavior among social media influencers, from staged "relatable" content to promotional schemes.

Drawing from his own experiences with online harassment and threats, Skepi shares insights about detecting performative behavior and maintaining boundaries with those who exploit empathy. The episode explores the broader impact of social media toxicity and the challenges of finding genuine connections in digital spaces, while highlighting the importance of trusting one's intuition when navigating online interactions.

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46. Performative People & The Violence Of Being Ignored

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46. Performative People & The Violence Of Being Ignored

1-Page Summary

Negative Impact of Anonymous Social Media and Lack of Accountability

Leo Skepi discusses the dangers of anonymous social media profiles, emphasizing how unchecked anonymity enables harmful behavior without consequences. He advocates for mandatory identity verification using government IDs to combat issues like fake stories, slander, and AI-generated content. Skepi particularly emphasizes the need for serious consequences for "swatting" incidents and cyberbullying that leads to self-harm, suggesting these actions should face legal charges.

Behavior of Performative and Disingenuous Social Media Influencers

Skepi exposes the widespread inauthenticity in social media, from influencers staging "relatable" moments to fitness personalities dishonestly claiming natural results. He criticizes various monetization schemes, including books written primarily as marketing funnels and influencers promoting political views for payment rather than conviction. The speaker expresses growing frustration with the shallow nature of online content, yearning for more authentic and transparent interactions.

Speaker's Experiences With Social Media Toxicity

Drawing from personal experience, Skepi shares his encounters with severe online harassment, including swatting incidents and threats targeting his family. He discusses the emotional burden of dealing with others' performative behaviors and the importance of setting boundaries with those who exploit empathy. Skepi emphasizes the value of sensitivity as a strength in detecting inauthentic behavior, explaining how he's learned to trust his intuition and surround himself with genuine, like-minded individuals.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Mandatory identity verification could infringe on privacy rights and freedom of expression, especially in countries with oppressive regimes.
  • Anonymity can be crucial for whistleblowers and activists who rely on it to protect their identity while exposing wrongdoing.
  • Legal charges for online behavior such as "swatting" and cyberbullying could lead to over-policing and the potential for misuse of laws to silence legitimate dissent.
  • Inauthenticity in social media is not a new phenomenon and can be seen as a reflection of broader societal issues rather than a problem inherent to social media platforms.
  • Monetization schemes, while sometimes deceptive, can also provide valuable opportunities for creators to earn a living and fund their content production.
  • The desire for authentic and transparent interactions online may conflict with the curated nature of social media, which is inherently designed to highlight selected aspects of life.
  • The emotional burden of dealing with online toxicity is significant, but the responsibility for managing this may also lie with individuals to curate their online experience and engage with content critically.
  • Sensitivity as a strength in detecting inauthentic behavior could lead to subjective judgments that may not accurately reflect others' intentions or authenticity.

Actionables

  • You can foster genuine online interactions by initiating a "Real Talk" social media day where you share unfiltered thoughts or images, encouraging your network to do the same to create a ripple effect of authenticity.
    • Start by choosing a day of the week, like "Truthful Tuesday," and post content that is raw and genuine, such as a makeup-free selfie or an honest opinion on a current event. Use a specific hashtag to track the movement and invite friends to participate, creating a community that values realness over perfection.
  • Enhance your ability to detect inauthentic behavior by keeping a journal where you note instances of online interactions that felt disingenuous and reflect on the cues that tipped you off.
    • Each time you encounter a post or message that seems staged or insincere, jot it down in your journal and describe what specifically made you question its authenticity. Over time, you'll develop a sharper sense for spotting inauthenticity, which can help you curate a more genuine online circle.
  • Protect your personal well-being by setting up a monthly digital audit where you review your social media connections and interactions, removing or distancing yourself from sources of negativity or inauthenticity.
    • Create a checklist of criteria that define positive and authentic interactions for you. Once a month, go through your social media friends and followers, applying these criteria. Unfollow, mute, or block accounts that consistently engage in behaviors that you find harmful or disingenuous, thus cultivating a healthier digital environment for yourself.

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46. Performative People & The Violence Of Being Ignored

Negative Impact of Anonymous Social Media and Lack of Accountability

The speaker shares a strong disdain for anonymous social media profiles and the lack of accountability for harmful online behavior, emphasizing the need for identity verification to deter abuse.

Dangers of Unchecked Anonymity and Lack of Accountability

Fake Social Media Profiles Enable Harmful, Unethical, and Illegal Behavior Without Consequence

Leo Skepi addresses the issue of unchecked anonymity on social media, noting that it has reached a point where individuals can create fake accounts and disseminate harmful content without facing consequences. This behavior can lead to fake stories, slander, and the creation of fake AI-generated content that damages reputations and lives.

Speaker Calls For Mandatory Social Media Identity Verification to Deter Abuse

The speaker calls for mandatory verification of social media accounts, proposing the use of a driver's license or an official ID. This measure aims to enforce accountability and strip the power that comes with anonymity. They advocate for legal government names to be used on accounts, which they believe would reduce malicious and irresponsible behaviors online.

Need For Consequences for Online Harassment

"Swat" Callers With False Claims Should Face Penalties

Having personally experienced "swatting," the speaker underscores the need for consequences for those who make false emergency calls, suggesting that such individuals should be identified publicly and held accountable. Skepi goes further to say that individuals who call CPS without a valid reason should also face repercussions, ranging from fines to jail time.

Cyberbullies Urging Self-Harm or Family Harm Should Face Charges

The speaker specifically points out the severity of cyberbullies who encourage self-harm or harm to one's family. Skepi believes that online comments that influence an individual to attempt self-harm should be tracked and recognized as legally accountable actions. If someone is influenced to the point of self-harm, those behind the harmful comments should face charges equivalent to attempted murder.

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Negative Impact of Anonymous Social Media and Lack of Accountability

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Privacy concerns: Mandatory identity verification could compromise user privacy and expose individuals to data breaches and identity theft.
  • Freedom of expression: Anonymity can be crucial for protecting the identities of whistleblowers, activists, and those living under oppressive regimes.
  • Overreach and misuse: There's a risk that identity verification systems could be misused by governments or corporations to surveil and control user behavior.
  • Technical and logistical challenges: Implementing a reliable and universal identity verification system is technically complex and could be exclusionary to individuals without official IDs.
  • Unintended consequences: Strict verification might push nefarious activities to less regulated platforms, making it harder to monitor and address.
  • Effectiveness: Identity verification might not effectively deter determined abusers who could find ways to bypass such systems.
  • Cybersecurity risks: Centralizing sensitive identity information could create a target for hackers, leading to potentially widespread cybersecurity issues.
  • Impact on vulnerable groups: Mandatory real-name ...

Actionables

  • You can advocate for digital responsibility by starting a hashtag movement that encourages users to share stories of positive online interactions and the real-life impact of digital civility. This movement can spread awareness about the importance of online behavior mirroring offline accountability. For example, use a hashtag like #DigitalCivilityPledge and encourage friends and family to post about times when respectful online communication led to constructive outcomes.
  • Create a personal policy of only engaging with verified accounts on social media to promote transparency and discourage anonymous negative behavior. Explain to your network why you've made this choice and how it can lead to a more trustworthy online environment. For instance, if someone with an unverified profile tries to engage with you, respond with a message explaining your policy and the reasons behind it, potentially influencing them to verify their identity.
  • Volunteer to support organizations that work w ...

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46. Performative People & The Violence Of Being Ignored

Behavior of Performative and Disingenuous Social Media Influencers and Creators

The podcast discussion with Leo Skepi delves into the problematic aspects of performative and inauthentic behavior exhibited by social media influencers and creators, highlighting the impact of such actions on the credibility and quality of online discourse.

Rise of Fake Authenticity and Online Insincerity

Influencers Staging Moments to Appear Relatable

Leo Skepi discusses the phenomena of influencers staging moments to appear relatable and authentic when in fact they are not. He describes an instance where an influencer, set up with a ring light and a full face of makeup, ordered food from different restaurants to portray a "rot day in bed." This production was intended to craft the illusion of authenticity, whereas it was carefully orchestrated to elicit specific responses from their audience.

Fitness Influencers Falsely Claiming Drug-Enhanced Physiques As "Natural"

Skepi calls out the prevalent issue of 'fake natties', referring to fitness influencers who falsely claim their physique is natural or only minimally enhanced. He criticizes influencers in the community who admit to only partial truth regarding their use of steroids—for instance, claiming they only took [restricted term] when in reality, they've used a broader range of performance-enhancing drugs.

Monetization Schemes and Hidden Agendas in Online Content

Books, Clothing, and Products as Marketing Funnels, Not Genuine Offerings

Skepi criticizes the practice of writing books primarily as a marketing strategy, with authors fueling coaching courses or other businesses instead of providing genuinely valuable information. He also claims that the requirement for a certain page number to rank on bestseller lists results in books filled with fluff. Skepi reveals that some authors and their publishers invest financially to ensure enough books are bought to qualify for bestseller rankings, such as the New York Times list.

In the fashion and supplements industries, Skepi points out the insincerity manifesting in the use of the same garment blanks with different labels and the widespread practice of white-labeling. He mentions the high markups on cheaply made products, reflecting a lack of care for the consumer.

Influencers Paid to Promote Politics Over Real Views

Skepi also exposes how influencers get paid to talk about political topics, suggesting that their spoken opinions may not truly align with their beliefs but are i ...

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Behavior of Performative and Disingenuous Social Media Influencers and Creators

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • 'Fake natties' in the context of fitness influencers are individuals who claim to have achieved their muscular physique naturally, without the use of performance-enhancing drugs, when in reality, they may be using substances like steroids. This deceptive behavior can mislead their followers about what is realistically achievable through natural means in terms of physical fitness. The term 'natties' is short for 'natural,' indicating those who claim to have attained their physique through natural methods. This issue raises concerns about authenticity, transparency, and the influence these influencers have on their audience's perceptions of health and fitness.
  • White-labeling in the fashion and supplements industries involves companies purchasing generic products from manufacturers and then rebranding them as their own. This practice allows businesses to sell products without investing in the design and production process. Essentially, white-labeling enables brands to focus on marketing and distribution while outsourcing the manufacturing aspect. It is a common strategy used to quickly launch new products under a brand's name without the need for extensive in-house development.
  • Authors sometimes write books not just to share valuable information but as part of a larger marketing strategy. This means the book serves as a tool to promote other products or services, such as coaching courses or businesses. The focus may shift from providing genuine content to using the book as a means to drive sales or establish authority in a particular field. This practice can sometimes lead to books being filled with unnecessary content or fluff to meet certain criteria, like page numbers, for marketing purposes.
  • Bestseller lists often have specific criteria, like a minimum number of pages, to qualify for ranking. Authors and publishers may manipulate sales to meet these criteria and boost their book's ranking. This practice can involve strategic purchasing of their own books to inflate sales numbers. Such actions aim to secure a spot on prestigious bestseller lists, enhancing the book's visibility and credibility.
  • Influencers getting paid to promote political views is a practice where individuals with a significant online following r ...

Counterarguments

  • Influencers may stage moments to appear relatable as a response to the pressure of social media platforms that reward content that seems personal and authentic, even if it's not entirely genuine.
  • Some fitness influencers may not disclose the full extent of their drug use due to the stigma and potential legal issues surrounding performance-enhancing drugs, and the fear of losing sponsorships or followers.
  • Authors might write books with marketing in mind, but this does not necessarily mean the content lacks value; the book could still provide useful information or serve as a starting point for deeper exploration.
  • The fashion and supplements industries' practices of using the same garment blanks or white-labeling can be seen as a way to provide a variety of options to consumers and to keep prices competitive.
  • Influencers promoting political views for pay could be seen as a form of political advertising, which is a common practice across many media, not unique to social media.
  • Performative behavio ...

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46. Performative People & The Violence Of Being Ignored

Speaker's Experiences With Social Media Toxicity and Harassment

Through personal narratives, the speaker delves into the grim realities of facing online toxicity, the emotional turmoil involved, and the process of overcoming guilt and establishing boundaries.

Speaker's Encounters With Online Harassment, "Cancellation", and Swatting

Leo Skepi exposes a darker side of fame and social media notoriety, detailing encounters with severe online harassment like swatting, a dangerous practice where false emergencies are falsely reported to dispatch police to someone's home. He cites incidents where his family was unjustly targeted, receiving messages implying they should harm themselves because of him. Ethel Kane, an artist taken down by her past racist tweets, amplifies the notion that internet fame can have a perilous flip side, resulting in what's formed into 'cancel culture.'

Facing False Claims, Threats, and Life-Ruining Attempts

The speaker underscores the severity of these attacks that span from frivolous rumors to life-threatening scenarios such as false claims and AI-generated fake content. A glaring need to confront and hold harassers accountable for their actions manifests in the speaker's account, specifically targeting individuals like Lily Tino who are associated with harmful behaviors. The inclination to act on a vengeful impulse grows, particularly against those whose harassment escalates to jeopardizing someone's employment.

Desire to Reveal and Hold Harassers Accountable

Skepi has a fierce determination to expose those behind anonymous threats and harmful actions online, expressing a fervent wish for transparency and accountability. The speaker envisions a system where comments are public and traceable to dissuade the perpetuation of cyberbullying and harassment, even contemplating seeking retribution if given the chance.

Speaker's Struggle With Others' Emotional Responsibility

A discernible battle within the speaker arises from the confrontation with others' performative behaviors and the subsequent emotional weight they carry.

Guilt Over Not Catering To Others' Performative Behaviors

The speaker describes uncomfortable situations heightened by others' overzealous actions, leading to feelings of guilt for not attending to such theatrical signs of emotion. An embedded sense of obligation to respond to those emotionally exploiting them for reassurance magnifies this unease.

Boundaries and Disconnecting From Empathy Abusers

The speaker embarks on a transformative journey, setting firm boundaries and disconnecting from those who've employed their empathy for selfish gains. Skepi emphasizes that closure isn't requisite and that ind ...

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Speaker's Experiences With Social Media Toxicity and Harassment

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can create a personal code of conduct for online interactions to maintain your integrity and protect against toxicity. Start by writing down your core values and how they translate into your online behavior. For example, commit to not engaging in arguments that escalate to personal attacks, and decide in advance how to handle situations where you feel threatened or harassed, such as by documenting the incident and reporting it to the platform or authorities.
  • Develop a "digital sanctuary" practice to safeguard your emotional well-being. This involves curating your online spaces so they reflect your values and contribute to a positive state of mind. Unfollow or mute accounts that consistently spread negativity, join online communities that share your interests and support your emotional health, and set aside specific times to disconnect from digital platforms entirely, perhaps by scheduling regular "tech-free" hours or days.
  • Enhance your intuition throug ...

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