44. Reversing The Fear Of Being Seen
In this episode of Aware & Aggravated, Leo shares his experience of finding self-acceptance after reaching 10 million social media followers. He discusses his past struggles with body image and feeling different from others, explaining how these issues stemmed from deeper feelings of being unseen and unappreciated. He describes his journey from focusing on physical appearance to embracing his authentic self.
The conversation explores the practical challenges that come with Leo's growing social media presence, including being mobbed at malls and managing constant messages from people seeking favors. He talks about the isolation of feeling exceptional and misunderstood, and shares how he's learned to set boundaries and maintain relationships with people who value him for who he is.
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1-Page Summary
Self-Perception and Acceptance of One's Own Value
Leo shares his journey of self-discovery, describing how he initially felt different and misunderstood until his social media following reached 10 million. This milestone helped him accept his unique place in the world and recognize his own worth. While discussing his struggles with body image, Leo reveals how his fixation on physical appearance served as a defense mechanism against feeling unseen and unappreciated. He explains that he has now shifted his focus from physical appearance to valuing his true self, maintaining his priority of caring for others while embracing his own power and uniqueness.
Navigating Relationships and Boundaries with Fame
As his social media presence grows, Leo describes the increasing demands on his time, from being mobbed at malls to receiving constant messages from people seeking favors. He details how simple tasks like going to the gym have become complicated, leading him to maintain multiple gym memberships just to find peaceful workout time. In response, Leo explains that he's implementing stricter boundaries to protect his energy and well-being, becoming more selective about his availability and interactions with others.
Challenges of Being "Rare" or "Special"
Leo opens up about the isolation that comes with feeling exceptional, describing it as the "most isolating feeling." He shares his frustration with being frequently misunderstood, noting that most people lack the empathy to appreciate someone of his unique nature. As he's accepted his distinctive qualities, Leo explains how he's learned to distance himself from unsupportive people while embracing his authentic self. He expresses satisfaction in engaging only with those who truly see and value him for who he is, rather than seeking recognition from everyone.
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Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While reaching a large social media following can boost self-esteem, it's important to recognize that self-worth should ideally come from within rather than external validation.
- Fixating on physical appearance is a common issue, but it's worth noting that societal pressures often exacerbate these concerns, and addressing those pressures is also important.
- Shifting focus from physical appearance to inner values is commendable, but it's also important to acknowledge that maintaining physical health is a part of self-care and valuing oneself.
- While caring for others is noble, it's crucial to ensure that it doesn't lead to self-neglect or burnout.
- Implementing boundaries is a healthy practice, but it's also important to find a balance so that one doesn't become too isolated or disconnected from their community or support network.
- The challenges of fame, such as being mobbed or receiving constant messages, are valid, but it's also worth considering how one can use their platform to positively influence and contribute to the well-being of others.
- The feeling of being "rare" or "special" can indeed be isolating, but it's also important to remain humble and recognize that everyone has unique qualities and struggles.
- While distancing oneself from unsupportive people is often necessary, it's also beneficial to remain open to constructive criticism and different perspectives that can foster personal growth.
- Engaging only with those who value us can create an echo chamber; it's sometimes valuable to interact with a diverse range of people to broaden one's worldview and understanding.
Actionables
- You can create a personal value statement to reinforce your self-worth by writing down what makes you unique and why those traits are important to you. This exercise helps you internalize your own value, similar to how someone might after gaining a large following. For example, if you're a compassionate listener, your statement could be, "My ability to listen deeply to others is a rare gift that creates meaningful connections."
- Develop a 'selective availability' calendar to manage your time and interactions more effectively by blocking out hours each week dedicated to self-care and activities that align with your values. This mirrors the idea of setting boundaries to protect your energy. For instance, you might reserve Sunday afternoons for a hobby that brings you joy, ensuring you have time for yourself regardless of external demands.
- Start a 'recognition journal' where you note down moments when you feel seen and appreciated for who you are, not just for your achievements or appearance. This practice can help you identify and seek out relationships and environments that provide genuine support. If a friend compliments your creativity rather than just your new outfit, jot it down and reflect on why that recognition feels more substantial.
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Self-Perception and Acceptance of One's Own Value/Uniqueness
Leo opens up about his journey toward self-acceptance, sharing his struggles with feeling different and misunderstood and how he learned to value his unique self beyond his physical appearance.
Leo Has Felt "Special" or "Exceptional," Making Him Feel Different and Misunderstood
Leo felt unseen and misunderstood, perceived as a threat by others who recognized something exceptional in him. He felt like the odd one out and misunderstood. However, as his social media following reached 10 million, Leo began to feel validated and accepted his unique place, realizing he is lovable and seen, a stark contrast to his past experiences of feeling rare or special in a negative way.
Leo's Rise: Accepting His Unique Fame
The rise in followers made him confront his own feelings of being special and pushed him to trust in his own power. This new-found validation led him to accept that he is seen and lovable.
Leo's Self-Worth Is Tied To His Appearance, Leading To a Preoccupation With His Body For Control
Despite his success, Leo has been fixated on his love handles, a part of his body with which he feels uncomfortable. His confidence seemed contingent on reaching his ideal body condition, a goalpost that seemed to continuously shift. He discusses how, in unpredictable times, controlling his body seemed like the sole aspect within his power.
Leo Realizes His Body Fixation Was a Way to Avoid Deeper Grief Of Feeling Unseen and Unappreciated
His fixation on body image, specifically his self-perceived imperfections, was a coping mechanism against feelings of invisibility and undervaluation. Leo recognized this preoccupation as a defense against feeling disrespected, and it became evident when life felt uncontrollable.
Leo Values His True Self Beyond Physical Appearance
However, Leo experienced a turning point when he first acknowledged his good looks in the mirror, signifying a shift away from ignoring his appearance and using it as a shield against being truly seen. This realization was a pivotal moment in his journey to self-acceptance.
Leo expresses ...
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Self-Perception and Acceptance of One's Own Value/Uniqueness
Additional Materials
Actionables
- Start a daily self-appreciation journal to recognize your unique qualities. Every morning, write down three things that make you special or different from others. This practice helps shift focus from external validation to internal appreciation, fostering a sense of self-worth that isn't tied to physical appearance or others' perceptions.
- Create a "Beyond the Surface" conversation club with friends or colleagues. Once a month, gather to discuss topics that go deeper than physical attributes, such as personal achievements, intellectual interests, or emotional growth. This encourages looking beyond the superficial and fosters deeper connections with others.
- Volunteer for a cause that aligns with your values to rein ...
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Navigating Relationships and Boundaries as one Gains Fame/Influence
Leo Skepi explores the complexities of balancing personal boundaries and relationships amid growing social media popularity.
Leo's Fame and Influence Complicate Normal Relationships and Daily Life
Leo Skepi shares how his increasing fame on social media platforms has led to an overwhelming demand on his time.
Demands on His Time From Fans and Others Seeking to Benefit From His Success Have Become Overwhelming
Leo describes being recognized in public settings like malls, leading to crowds that are so disruptive, store employees suggest he needs security. He expresses frustration with individuals and companies who pretend to offer favors but are actually trying to benefit from his fame. Leo also recounts how he can no longer work out at the gym without interruption due to constant approaches for photos, which has led him to hold three different gym memberships in an attempt to find uninterrupted time.
He receives incessant texts on both of his phones from people needing or wanting something, and he humorously notes that his "phone ain't never dry."
Leo Sets New Boundaries For Energy and Well-Being as His Platform Grows
In response to the incessant demands, Leo feels that he must enforce new boundaries to protect his energy and well-being. He is adamant about his integrity and that he has not wronged others, defending himself with evidence against anyone who claims otherwise. Leo realizes that his life no longer allows him to ignore his fame or maintain a facade of normalcy.
He is starting to guard his time more fiercely, acknowledging that excessive fan interactions add an extra hour to simple tasks like running errands and recognizing the necessity of prioritizing himself and his work over being perceived as humble or kind. Leo has decided to become unavailable to certain stressors and people, especially from his past, without feeling guilty.
Leo Has Felt Misunderstood and Unappreciated, Even Before Fame
Leo expresses that many people in his life, particularly his parents and friends, have failed to recognize his true value.
Many in His Life, Including Family and Friends, Overlooked His Rare Qualities
Though he doesn't provide specific examples, Leo reveals that he has been made to feel like he was the problem and that others have n ...
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Navigating Relationships and Boundaries as one Gains Fame/Influence
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Counterarguments
- While setting boundaries is important, it's also crucial to maintain a balance and not become too isolated, as relationships and community are important aspects of well-being.
- Fame often requires a public persona, but it's important to find ways to stay grounded and connected to one's roots and personal relationships.
- The perception of being misunderstood or unappreciated could sometimes stem from a lack of communication or differing expectations between Leo and his family or friends.
- Being selective about who to allow close is a personal choice, but it's also important to remain open to new relationships and not to prejudge people based on past experiences.
- Prioritizing oneself is necessary, but it's also valuable to consider the impact of one's actions on others and strive for a balance between self-care and kindness.
- Enforcing expectations on others can be seen as setting healthy boundaries, but it's also important to ensure these expectations are reasonable and communicated clearly.
- Protecting one's joy i ...
Actionables
- You can create a personal boundary charter to clearly define your limits and expectations for interactions. Start by writing down the areas of your life where you feel overwhelmed or overextended, such as social media engagement or personal favors. For each area, decide on specific boundaries that you will enforce, like a set time each day to respond to messages or a policy of not taking calls during family time. Share this charter with close friends and family to make your boundaries known and to help them understand your need for balance.
- Develop a 'joy protection plan' to actively safeguard your well-being. Identify activities and people that consistently contribute to your happiness and make a commitment to include them in your daily or weekly routine. This could involve scheduling regular downtime, pursuing a hobby that brings you joy, or having a standing date with a supportive friend. By proactively planning for joy, you ensure that your well-being remains a priority amidst the demands of daily life.
- Implement a 'relationship audit' to evaluate ...
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Challenges Of Being a "Rare" or "Special" Person
In a personal reflection, Leo Skepi delves into the complexities and challenges that come with being perceived as a rare or special individual.
Leo Felt Like an Isolated Outlier
Leo Grapples With Loneliness as a "Rare" Person
Leo voices his frustration with feeling perpetually misunderstood and lonely due to his unique nature. He speaks about the duality within himself and how people cannot fathom someone like him, suggesting this rarity contributes to feelings of loneliness and being misunderstood. Leo dubs this sense of singularity as the "most isolating feeling" and indicates it's a struggle he's learned to accept. Moreover, Leo feels frequently overlooked due to being "too lovable" and "too easy to love," conditions he believes lead others to lose respect for him and forget him.
He Realizes Most Lack the Empathy to Appreciate Someone of His Exceptional Nature
Leo expresses his grief over the realization that most people, including friends and business contacts over the past two years, did not truly see him for who he is. He indicates a belief that most people lack the empathy to fully recognize and appreciate his exceptional nature, which affects how he perceives himself. People's failure to comprehend someone "with this much duality" and "who truly is this rare" has significantly impacted him.
Leo's Uniqueness Makes It Hard to Relate To "Normal" People
His sense of being "special" and his experiences of fame have led Leo to accept a new way of being and disconnect from unsupportive people.
Accepting a New Way Of Being
Leo's unique perspective and experiences have resulted in a realization that he no longer belongs in environments he once frequented. His physical presence and the realization that he can appear more impressive than he previously felt contribute to this new acceptance.
Realization Brings Freedom and Isolation as Leo Separates From Unsupportive People
Leo speaks to the liberation he feels in recognizing his uniqueness, though coupled with isolation as he distances himself from those who are unsupportive. He has learned to filter out those who do not align with his needs and standards, taking pride in being unique and sought after only when others realize his value upon losing him. These experiences have led to a stronger understanding ...
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Challenges Of Being a "Rare" or "Special" Person
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While Leo feels isolated due to his uniqueness, it's possible that others may also feel unique in their own ways and experience similar feelings of loneliness, suggesting that feeling "rare" might be more common than Leo perceives.
- The belief that most people lack the empathy to appreciate someone's exceptional nature could be a reflection of Leo's personal experiences rather than a universal truth; different people have varying capacities for empathy and understanding.
- Leo's difficulty in relating to "normal" people might stem from a two-way communication gap, where both parties may struggle to find common ground or understand each other's perspectives.
- Disconnecting from unsupportive individuals can be healthy, but it's also important to consider the value of diverse relationships and the growth that can come from engaging with a variety of viewpoints.
- Accepting a new way of being is a personal journey, but it's also beneficial to remain open to change and adaptability, as environments and social circles can evolve in positive ways.
- While self-isolation can be a protective response to ...
Actionables
- Create a personal appreciation journal to celebrate your unique qualities and experiences. Each day, write down moments when you felt understood or appreciated for who you are, even if it's self-recognition. This practice helps reinforce your self-worth and reminds you of the supportive connections you do have.
- Develop a 'recognition radar' by setting a weekly goal to identify and connect with one new person who shows an understanding or interest in your unique perspective. This could be online in forums, social media groups, or local community gatherings. By actively seeking out like-minded individuals, you can build a network of supportive relationships.
- Initiate a 'uniqu ...
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