35. Stress Is Cleansing. How I Quit
In this episode of the Aware & Aggravated podcast, Leo opens up about his intense struggle with cocaine addiction and how it served as a coping mechanism for depression and compromised emotional regulation. He shares his spiritual awakening that allowed him to reconnect with his inner voice and intuition, previously suppressed by drug use.
Leo also discusses learning to release self-created stress from unreasonable obligations, prioritizing his body's needs over pushing limits. Additionally, he expresses an unwavering belief in finding his destined partner, describing it as a "remembering" rather than a fantasy, with a profound connection that brings him peace and purpose.
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1-Page Summary
Leo's Drug Addiction Struggle and Spiritual Awakening
Cocaine Addiction as a Coping Mechanism
Leo shares his intense struggle with cocaine addiction, which he relied on to cope with depression and compromised emotional regulation. As Sanger-Katz explains, cocaine became a constant "best friend" that provided relief from anxiety and hopelessness, despite its self-destructive nature. Leo admits his usage escalated to life-threatening levels before he realized the need to regain self-trust.
Spiritual Awakening and Intuitive Reconnection
After a trip to Miami, Leo describes a spiritual awakening that allowed him to reconnect with his inner voice and intuition, previously suppressed by drug use. According to Leo, this experience separated his physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects, enabling him to perceive their interactions. He shed limiting beliefs and developed trust in following his soul's guidance.
Letting Go of Stress and Obligations
Leo discusses learning to release self-created stress from unreasonable obligations. He prioritizes honoring his body's needs over pushing limits, aligning actions with intuition for a more fulfilling life. Leo shares how this shift involved refusing to overexert himself to meet others' expectations.
Belief in Destined Partner
Leo expresses an unwavering belief that he's found his destined partner, describing it as a "remembering" rather than a fantasy. He sensed this person's presence and glimpsed their perspective, awaiting reunion. This connection brings Leo peace and purpose on his journey to find true love.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While spiritual awakenings can be transformative, they are subjective experiences and may not be universally understood or accepted as a valid form of recovery or personal development.
- The idea of a "destined partner" can be romantic, but it also might be seen as a potentially unrealistic expectation that could lead to disappointment if the relationship does not meet the idealized vision.
- Relying on intuition over practical considerations can sometimes lead to decisions that are not well thought out or that ignore important aspects of reality.
- The concept of separating physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects to perceive their interactions may not resonate with those who view the self as an integrated whole without such distinctions.
- The notion of shedding limiting beliefs is positive, but what constitutes a limiting belief can be subjective, and some beliefs deemed limiting by one person may be seen as protective or essential by another.
- Prioritizing one's own needs and refusing to overexert oneself can be healthy, but it also has the potential to be perceived as selfish or irresponsible if it leads to neglecting important responsibilities or commitments to others.
Actionables
- You can start a daily intuition journal to enhance your connection with your inner voice by writing down any gut feelings or spontaneous thoughts that arise throughout the day, and reflecting on how they guide your decisions.
- Create a "stress release" ritual that involves identifying one self-imposed obligation each week and consciously deciding to let it go, which could be as simple as saying no to an extra project at work or skipping a social event to rest.
- Develop a "soulful partnership" checklist based on qualities that resonate with your true self, and use it to evaluate your relationships, ensuring that you're investing in connections that align with your deepest values and sense of purpose.
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Leo's Struggles With Drug Addiction and Its Impact
Leo shares an intensely personal narrative of his year-long struggle with cocaine addiction and its dire consequences on his life.
Leo Details His Year-Long Struggle With Cocaine Addiction Used to Cope With His Emotional and Psychological Suffering
Leo candidly discusses his daily battles with mental health struggles, which led to a heavy reliance on cocaine to simply function in everyday life. Cocaine became a makeshift solution to his inability to self-regulate due to deep depression. He describes using cocaine immediately upon waking up as a necessity to get out of bed, highlighting the depth of his dependency on the drug to perform basic tasks.
Leo Relied On Cocaine to Cope With Daily Tasks due to Compromised Emotional Regulation From Mental Health Struggles
Leo mentions his "totally off the walls" nervous system and compromised emotional regulation. His natural coping mechanisms were described as "shot," with cocaine becoming a required crutch for any semblance of daily normalcy. He reveals that despite knowing the risks and the legal ramifications, cocaine became a constant in his life, stored in any frequently visited place for easy access.
Despite the Harm, Leo Says Cocaine Became a Comforting "Best Friend" During His Darkest Moments
Despite its destructive effects, Leo characterizes cocaine as his "best friend," a comforting presence that provided relief from overwhelming anxiety and hopelessness. He relied on it for a sense of control in his life. But with the drug, he found himself muting his inner voice and authentic desires, opting to follow the false sense of security that cocaine falsely promised. Even as he continued to use cocaine, he recognized its self-abusive nature and the reality that it brought no genuine relief.
Leo Admits To the Self-Destructive and Unsustainable Nature of His Drug Reliance, Which Nearly Cost Him His Life
Acknowledging the self-destructive behavior, Leo reflects on the unsustainable nature of his former "best friend." His use intensified, from an eight ball lasting a month to one to two grams a day. The addiction even pushed him to a state where he feared for his lif ...
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Leo's Struggles With Drug Addiction and Its Impact
Additional Materials
Actionables
- Create a morning routine that excludes your phone to avoid immediate exposure to stressors; start your day with meditation, stretching, or a healthy breakfast to establish a positive tone and reduce the impulse to turn to negative coping mechanisms.
- Develop an emergency contact list of friends, family, or support hotlines and keep it visible in your living space; this ensures that when you feel overwhelmed, you have immediate access to support rather than resorting to harmful substances or behavior ...
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Leo's Spiritual Awakening and Intuition
After Miami Trip, Leo Describes Spiritual Awakening That Shifted Perspective and Self-Relationship
Following a trip to Miami, Leo encountered a life-altering spiritual awakening that drastically altered his self-perspective and his relationship with himself.
Leo Reconnects With His True Voice and Intuition, Previously Suppressed by Drug Use
Leo shared that after returning from Miami, he felt jolted awake spiritually. This experience enabled him to reconnect with his internal voice—a voice he felt he'd lost to cocaine use. Having navigated through a period of success followed by a relapse, Leo felt delusional and unhappy, resulting in an emotional and mental breakdown. Through intense emotional release, he achieved peace, indicating that surrendering and trusting himself might have been the purpose of his trip.
Spiritual Awakening Let Leo Perceive His Physical Body, Emotions, Nervous System, and Spiritual Essence and Their Interactions
After the breakdown, Leo experienced an awakening where he perceived a separation of elements within himself. He saw his nervous system, emotions, and physical body as distinct from his spiritual essence. His awakening led to a realization that he could trust his soul's guidance without relying on cocaine.
Leo's experience also seemed to provide him with a deeper connection to his physical state and spiritual essence as he could perceive and process his emotions and physiological responses synchronously. He felt an attentiveness to his body and nervous system, allowing them to process emotions. This connectedness offered him a profound understanding of how different systems work both as a human and a spirit.
Leo Says This Experience Removed Limiting Beliefs About His Nature and Capabilities, Giving Him Trust In Following His Soul's Guidance
As a result of his awakening, Leo felt cleansed of old emotions, thoughts, and fears. He underwent a "full shedding" ...
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Leo's Spiritual Awakening and Intuition
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- The concept of a spiritual awakening is subjective and can vary greatly from person to person; what Leo describes as an awakening might not be universally recognized as such.
- Skeptics might argue that the changes Leo attributes to a spiritual awakening could also be explained by psychological shifts, emotional growth, or the natural process of recovery from addiction.
- The idea of a "true voice" and "intuition" can be seen as constructs of the mind rather than distinct spiritual entities or forces.
- The notion of separating one's self into components like the nervous system, emotions, physical body, and spiritual essence may not align with scientific understandings of human consciousness and identity.
- The belief in a soul's guidance is a spiritual or religious concept that not everyone shares; some might argue that decisions and changes are the result of cognitive processes and not the soul.
- The idea of a "full shedding" through the nervous system is metaphorical and not grounded in medical science, which could lead to misunderstandings about how the nervous system functions.
- Dreams are often interpreted in many ways; the idea that they can rewrite past events to harmonize with one's desires is not supported by scientific evidence.
- The notion of "limiting beliefs" being purged through rage is a psychological interpretation that may not ...
Actionables
- You can start a personal awakening journal to track your self-discovery and emotional release. Begin by writing daily entries that focus on your feelings, thoughts, and any physical sensations you experience. This practice can help you become more attuned to your body and emotions, similar to how Leo felt a deeper connection to his physical state. For example, if you feel a sudden burst of energy or a sense of calm, note it down and reflect on what may have triggered it. Over time, you'll start to notice patterns and gain insights into your own systems of emotions and thoughts.
- Create a "trust your intuition" challenge for yourself where you make small, daily decisions based solely on your gut feeling. This could be as simple as choosing what to eat for breakfast or which route to take on a walk. The key is to do this without seeking external validation or permission. By consistently practicing this, you'll strengthen your trust in your inner guidance system, much like Leo learned to trust his soul's guidance without relying on external substances.
- Engage in a symbolic cleansing ...
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Leo's Perspective on Stress, Obligation, and Desires
Leo Learns to Let Go Of Stress and Obligation, No Longer Forcing Himself to Meet Others' Expectations
Leo explains how he used to make himself stressed unnecessarily, a habit he observed in his father as well. He learned to overcome this self-created stress by questioning its roots and realizing that many of the reasons he felt stressed didn’t make sense. He recounts how he previously thought that being himself was hurting people and disrupting his life. But Leo has now decided to no longer live his life out of obligation, swearing off such commitments.
Reflecting, Leo realizes that his stress was often self-imposed, stemming from irrational worries. He emphasizes how his decision to put his well-being first marked a significant change, such as leaving a club early when he felt exhausted, even if it went against the social expectations of others.
Leo Prioritizes Honoring His Body's Needs and Rhythms Over Pushing Beyond His Limits, Which He Views As Self-Abuse
Leo has made a radical shift to listen to his body and soul when deciding where to invest his energy. This change has led to less forced exertion and better health outcomes. For example, he stopped stressing when sick and instead let things unfold naturally, often finding the outcomes were better than expected when he allowed himself not to rush the healing process.
He shares an anecdote about his father stressing over work in the car industry, despite being fully competent. This situation helped Leo realize how his similar stresses—over podcasting, making TikToks, or fashion ventures—were equally irrational, considering he possessed the skills and knowledge to accomplish these tasks.
He has learned to focus on not compromising the quality of his work rather than stressing about timelines, indicating a newfound respect for his needs and limitations. Leo emphasizes the importance of not abusing his body to fulfill "fake" responsibilities and instead resting and listening to one's body.
Aligning Actions With Intuition Leads To Fulfilling Life
Leo discusses his emotional responses to authoritative systems, ...
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Leo's Perspective on Stress, Obligation, and Desires
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While prioritizing personal well-being is important, there may be situations where meeting obligations is necessary for maintaining relationships or fulfilling professional duties.
- Honoring one's body's needs is crucial, but there are times when pushing beyond comfort zones can lead to personal growth and achievement.
- Focusing solely on quality without regard to timelines could potentially lead to missed opportunities or challenges in collaborative environments where deadlines are important.
- Intuition can be a valuable guide, but it should be balanced with rational decision-making, especially in situations that require critical thinking and analysis.
- Not all stress is negative; some stress can be a motivating factor that drives individuals to perform better and achieve their goals.
- Aligning actions with intuition might not always result in the best outcomes, particularly when intuition is not informed ...
Actionables
- You can create a "stress origin" journal to identify and address the root causes of your stress. Start by writing down each time you feel stressed, noting what triggered it, and asking yourself why it affects you. Over time, you'll notice patterns and can work on strategies to either avoid these triggers or change your response to them.
- Develop a personal "body honor" code that outlines how you will respect your physical limits. This might include setting sleep schedules, work boundaries, and regular check-ins with yourself to assess your energy levels. When faced with a decision that could push you too far, consult your code to help you make a choice that prioritizes your well-being.
- Practice "intuitive decision-mak ...
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Leo's Belief He Found His Destined Partner
Leo Skepi shares a deeply personal and profound belief that he's found his destined partner, a conviction that goes beyond mere fantasy.
Leo's Awakening: A Profound Connection With His Destined Partner
Leo describes his discovery of his destined partner not as a fantasy, but as a "remembering," feeling a strong sense of familiarity and connection.
Leo Calls It a "Remembering," Not a Fantasy, as He Felt This Person's Presence and Glimpsed Their Perspective
Leo Skepi explains his experience that leads him to believe in his destined partner as a vivid awakening, where he felt an overwhelming sense of a presence aligned with his own. He recalls walking down the street, enveloped in a sense of safety and companionship, despite being physically alone.
Leo's Unwavering Trust in the Existence of This Person, Awaiting Reunion
With confidence, Leo details a mystical moment, one in which he views through the eyes of his partner, sensing their shared yearning for the day they find one another. This belief is not simply a wish for Leo; it's an incontrovertible pull towards someone he's never met but knows is out there searching for him.
Leo Finds Peace and Purpose, Drawn To This Fated Connection
Leo's discovery brings him a newfound peace and purpose, transforming the loneliness of searching for a partner into a magn ...
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Leo's Belief He Found His Destined Partner
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- The belief in a destined partner can be seen as a romantic notion, but it lacks empirical evidence and may be based on subjective feelings rather than objective reality.
- Describing the connection as a "remembering" could be a psychological phenomenon such as déjà vu or confirmation bias rather than an indication of a predestined relationship.
- Feeling a presence and glimpsing a partner's perspective might be a form of idealization or projection, where one attributes desired qualities to an imagined person.
- Trusting in the existence of an unseen partner without evidence may lead to overlooking potential relationships with real, present individuals.
- The idea of a pull towards someone never met can be critiqued as a narrative constructed from personal desires and cultural influences rather than a destined truth.
- Anticipating an "energetic collision" could set unrealistic expectations for relationships and potentially lead to disappointment if real-life interactions ...
Actionables
- You can journal about the qualities you feel your destined partner possesses, focusing on the emotions and values that resonate with you. By doing this, you're creating a clearer mental image of the person you're drawn to, which can help you recognize them when you meet someone who aligns with those qualities. For example, if you value deep intellectual conversations, write about how engaging in such discussions with a partner would feel.
- Create a vision board that represents your connection with a destined partner, using images and words that symbolize your idea of a fated relationship. This visual representation can serve as a daily reminder of your belief in this connection, helping to maintain a positive outlook and openness to meeting your partner. You might include pictures of couples in harmonious settings or words like "synchronicity" and "destiny."
- Practice mindfulness meditation focuse ...
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