Mel Robbins Calls Out Bert’s People-Pleasing | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Mel Robbins candidly shares the dire setbacks she and her family faced and the personal growth efforts she made to overcome them, including incorporating the "5-Second Rule" to instigate change.

Mel's Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms During Crisis

Mel's Family Faces $800k Debt and Foreclosure After Business Failure

Mel Robbins and her family experienced deep financial turmoil, finding themselves $800,000 in debt with liens on their house after a business venture, a local pizza joint, failed. Ignoring advice, they opened a second location during 2007-2008 that turned out to be too expensive and poorly located, leading to even further debt and the eventual foreclosure threat.

Mel Turned To Alcohol and Avoidance, Neglecting Responsibilities As a Parent and Spouse

During this financial and personal crisis, Mel turned to drinking too much and experienced deep depression. She felt trapped in negative behavior and thought patterns, describing it as a "torture chamber of self-criticism" and struggled with self-hatred. Meanwhile, she found herself constantly apologizing for her anger and frustration, which affected her children and made her husband, Chris, feel like the enemy. She coped by avoiding debt collectors and neglecting responsibilities, like shopping without money and failing to manage her stress appropriately.

Mel Needed Drastic Action to Turn Her Life Around and Save Her Family

Acknowledging the massive pain and fear from her family's financial situation, Mel realized that she needed to take drastic action. She reached a moment of clarity, understanding that she couldn't allow her story to end negatively at age 41. She made a decisive choice to prevent bankruptcy, save her marriage, address her alcohol problem, and change her life's trajectory.

Mel's Use of the "5-Second Rule" to Overcome Inertia and Motivate Action

"5-Second Rule": Act Before Brain Intervenes By Counting Down From 5

Mel credits the "5-Second Rule" for helping her beat inertia and initiate action. This rule involves counting down from five to zero to prompt immediate action before the brain can introduce doubts or excuses. Mel describes the timer as a critical decision-making ...

Mel Robbins has introduced a simple yet transformative tool called the "5-Second Rule" which has garnered significant attention for its potential to prompt behavior change.

Neuroscience of the "5-Second Rule" as a Tool For Behavior Change

Robbins proposes that action is crucial for overcoming the moments of hesitation that lead to procrastination and anxiety. She presents the "5-Second Rule" as a direct response to the brain's tendency to seek comfort over challenge.

Brains Prefer Comfort Over Challenge

Our brains are hardwired to prefer comfort and to avoid risk and challenge. When faced with a task that requires us to move out of our comfort zone, the brain might resist.

The Crucial 5-Second Window: Act Before Hesitation Breeds Excuses

According to Robbins, the "5-Second Rule" states that one must act on an instinct within a critical five-second window. If action isn’t taken in that short period, the brain will flood with excuses, and the opportunity to act may be lost.

Countdown to Act Overcomes Task Avoidance

Robbins advocates for a countdown method—counting down from five to one—as a tool to propel oneself into action. She utilizes this rule for tasks she finds less appealing, such as getting out of bed or picking up dog waste, suggesting it aids in overcoming avoidance behaviors.

The Impact of Mel's "5-Second Rule" on Lives

Robbins’ method has influenced many individuals worldwide, leading to major life transformations.

Mel's Viral Tedx Talk on the "5-Second Rule" Spurs Major Life Changes

Robbins experienced an anxiety moment while giving her TEDx talk in 2011 and shared the "5-Second Rule" on stage, explaining the concept spontaneously. The talk went viral, helping to spread the word about her technique. ...

Mel recounts her journey from financial struggle to becoming a sought-after speaker and bestselling author.

Mel's Journey From Struggling Financially To Becoming a Sought-After Speaker

Mel describes the moment that would transition her from financial struggle to the beginning of her career as a speaker. This came in the form of an offer from a man named Darren to speak at a sales conference for $10,000 after Mel's TEDx talk went viral—an opportunity that represented a significant financial turning point for her. Feeling unworthy of the amount, she hired a graphic designer with $5,000 to ensure her presentation matched the value of the opportunity.

Mel Was Offered $10,000, More Than She Had Seen In Years

Feeling the weight of the $10,000, which was more money than she could imagine and equivalent to several months of her mortgage payments, Mel was determined to deliver an impactful performance.

Determined to Deliver Impact, Mel Invested In Professional Materials and Preparation

After delivering an impressive performance, Darren complemented her as one of the best speakers he’d ever seen, leading to a flood of speaking business opportunities.

Mel's Dynamic, Relatable Style Led To a Flood of Engagements

Mel worked hard, recounting how she wore the same outfit all the time to save money, took regional coach flights, arrived late at hotels, and steamed her single outfit in the shower to maintain a carry-on to avoid missing flights. She spoke at regional conferences and various other engagements, totaling 47 bookings within a year while working a full-time job, which rapidly increased to 97 engagements the next year. Within three years, she became the most booked female speaker in the world.

Mel's Transition From Free Speaking To a Successful Speaking and Writing Career

Mel started her public speaking journey for free after her TEDx talk. Following her free speech at the Texas Conference for Women, she was not only invited back as a headliner but also kickstarted her paid professional speaking career.

Mel Became the Top-Booked Female Speaker, Traveling Widely to Share Her Message

Soon, Mel found herself traveling widely to share her message, growing into the most booked female speaker in the world, while maintaining financial prudence and avoiding lifestyle inflation even after regaining financial stability.

Mel's Bestselling Books, Like "the 5 Second Rule," Expanded Her Impact

Not only did ...