Bert Choke Slammed Two Dudes | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, comedians Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura discuss their professional lives and upcoming shows. They share thoughts on performing at iconic venues like Madison Square Garden.
The conversation takes an uncensored turn as Kreischer expresses excitement about visiting a bear community gay bar. The comedians also explore topics like normalizing sexual practices, cultural differences, and Kreischer's desire to experience lifestyles abroad. While explicit at times, the episode provides insight into Kreischer and Segura's interests, perspectives, and the dynamics of Kreischer's marital relationship.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Apr 14, 2025 episode of the 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
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1-Page Summary
The Comedians' Professional Lives and Comedy Careers
Bert and Tom: Upcoming Shows and Projects
Bert Kreischer's Netflix special "Lucky" is out, while Tom Segura's "Bad Thoughts" premieres on May 13th. Kreischer is excited for his "Permission to Party" tour starting September 18th and a show at Red Rocks on October 1st or 4th. Segura plans to take the summer off but has a packed schedule from late August through December.
Comedians on Iconic Venues Like Madison Square Garden (MSG)
Segura recalls the enthusiastic reception at his MSG show. Kreischer ponders performing at MSG solo, feeling it may not fit his style, after advice from Segura that sparked the idea of MSG as a milestone.
Interests and Experiences With Subcultures and Communities
Bert Is Excited to Visit a Bear Community Gay Bar
Kreischer eagerly anticipates visiting a bear community gay bar, feeling drawn to the openness and acceptance of "their people." Kreischer mentions many gay parents attending his shows, reflecting the inclusivity of his audience.
Comedians Discuss Normalizing Sexual Practices and Orientations
Kreischer brings up "homie head," suggesting its normalization. They imagine a future where such acts are commonplace. Kreischer reveals a preference for "milking tables" over glory holes for sexual encounters.
Casual, Uncensored Discussions of Sex, Relationships, and Preferences
Bert and Tom Discuss Sexual Fantasies and Preferences
Kreischer fondly recalls an intimate encounter with a geisha in Japan. They banter about the allure of various female accents and ethnicities.
Bert's Marital Relationship and Sexual Exploration
Kreischer shares attempts at role-play with his wife Leanne and desire for sexual accessories like a milking table, noting her conservative boundaries. The discussion highlights the dynamics of their sexual exploration.
Their Perspectives on National/Cultural Differences and Identities
Comedians on Cultural Adaptation to American Accents and Norms
Kreischer shares how his friend Adi Shankar adapts to an American accent while in the U.S. despite his Indian roots. They joke about gay subcultural naming conventions.
Bert Desires to Experience British, French, or Other International Cultures and Lifestyles
Kreischer laments missing out on immersive cultural experiences abroad, imagining idyllic lifestyles in Stockholm and Paris. They explore the appeal and challenges of arranged marriages, humorously pondering Kreischer's scenario.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Actionables
- You can explore new cultural experiences by attending a themed event or festival in your city that celebrates a different culture, such as a French wine tasting or a Japanese tea ceremony, to broaden your understanding and appreciation of diverse traditions.
- Create a personal challenge to visit a local establishment that's outside of your usual social scene, like a different genre of comedy club or a bar with a unique theme, to push the boundaries of your comfort zone and meet a variety of people.
- Start a conversation with friends or online about the importance of sexual health and normalization, using resources from reputable sexual health organizations to educate and promote open, stigma-free discussions.
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The Comedians' Professional Lives and Comedy Careers
Bert and Tom: Upcoming Shows and Projects
Two of comedy's contemporary heavy-hitters, Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura, continue to make waves with their unique and captivating styles. Fans of stand-up comedy will be excited to hear about their upcoming specials and tour schedules.
Bert's Netflix Special "Lucky" Is Streaming
Bert Kreischer brings laughter to screens with his Netflix special titled "Lucky," currently available for streaming. Bert has been actively promoting his special, which showcases his energetic and shirtless comedic style.
Tom's Special "Bad Thoughts" Premieres on May 13th
Tom Segura, known for his deadpan humor, is set to entertain with his new special "Bad Thoughts," premiering on May 13th. While Tom doesn't expound on the content of his special in the provided transcript, fans can anticipate the dark humor that has become his hallmark.
Bert Eager to Perform Live Shows
Bert Kreischer can't wait to get back on the road, bringing the unique energy of live comedy to his audience. He mentions his eagerness to start his "Permission to Party" tour on September 18th, an assertion of his love for stand-up. Moreover, Bert is scheduled to grace the stage of Red Rocks, a venue that aligns with his adventurous spirit, on October 1st or 4th.
Tom Plans Summer Off but a Packed Fall and Winter Schedule
In contrast to Bert's immediate touring plans, Tom Segura looks forward to taking the summer off, possibly hinting at a break from the exhaustion that comes with a comedian's life on the road. However, he will not rest for long as he has added fall dates to his tour, planning to start again on August 28th and carry on till December. Tom also playfully remarks about a potential retirement after his current schedule, though it should be taken with a grain of humor.
Comedians on the Unique Energy Of Performing At Iconic Venues Like Madison Square Garden
The conversation turns to the dream that is Madison Square Garden (MSG), a venue that stands ...
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The Comedians' Professional Lives and Comedy Careers
Additional Materials
Actionables
- You can set personal milestones by identifying a 'Madison Square Garden' equivalent in your field, which symbolizes the pinnacle of success. For example, if you're an aspiring chef, your MSG might be earning a Michelin star or publishing a bestselling cookbook. Start by researching the top achievements in your industry and then outline a roadmap with smaller goals that lead up to your major milestone.
- Create a 'Tour of Triumphs' by planning a series of personal challenges or events throughout the year that build on your skills or hobbies, much like a comedian's tour. If you enjoy painting, schedule exhibitions or attend workshops in different cities or venues over several months. This approach helps you to expand your network, showcase your talent, and gain new experiences.
- Embrace a 'summer of exploration' w ...
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Interests and Experiences With Subcultures and Communities
Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura dive into their fascination with the dynamics of gay subcultures and their candid take on sexual practices and normalization.
Bert Is Excited to Visit a Bear Community Gay Bar
Bert Kreischer is looking forward to visiting a bear community gay bar, feeling drawn to it due to his appearance and personality.
Bear Community's Openness Aligns With His Interests and Personality
Kreischer finds the bear community to be "cool as fuck" and is eager to engage with them, noting his plan to go shirtless and pick specific attire to fit in behind the bar. He feels a strong connection to the bear community, stating "that's our fucking people," and highlights the openness of the community which resonates with his own interests and extroverted nature.
Tom Segura and Kreischer also delve into the dynamics of the gay community, with Bert mentioning that many gay parents attend his shows. This suggests an overlap between their audience and members of the gay community, highlighting the inclusivity of their following.
Friendship and Intimacy Dynamics in the Gay Community
Bert Kreischer brings up a young man who openly talks about his sexual experiences online and sparks a conversation about "homie head," proposing its normalization. Tom Segura echoes the sentiment, affirming that it would be positive if such practices were more widely accepted without stigmatization.
Comedians Discuss Normalizing Sexual Practices and Orientations
Kreischer and Segura explore emerging sexual trends and discuss the implications of normalizing various practices within the context of mainstream acceptance.
Implications of "Homie Head" and Emerging Sexual Trends
Further discussing the topic of "homie head," Kreischer and Segura imagine a future where such practices are considered commonplace and devoid of taboo. Kre ...
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Interests and Experiences With Subcultures and Communities
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- The "bear community" is a subculture within the LGBTQ+ community that typically consists of gay or bisexual men who are larger, hairier, and often embrace a more rugged or masculine appearance. It emphasizes inclusivity, body positivity, and a sense of camaraderie among its members. Bear bars and events provide spaces for individuals to socialize, connect, and celebrate their shared identity within this subculture. The term "bear" originated in the 1980s and has since evolved to encompass a diverse range of individuals who identify with its ethos and aesthetics.
- "Homie head" is a slang term referring to a scenario where a person receives oral sex from a friend without any romantic or emotional attachment. It involves a casual and non-committal approach to sexual activity between friends. The discussion around "homie head" in the text revolves around the idea of normalizing such casual sexual interactions without stigma or judgment.
- A "milking table" is a piece of furniture designed for sexual activities where one person lies down comfortably while another person performs sexual acts on them from underneath the table. It allows for a unique and potentially more relaxed experience compared to traditional sexual encounters. The person lying on the table can control the angle and intensity of the activity, enhancing their comfort and pleasure. The concept of milking tables is often associated with specific preferences and fantasies within the realm of sexual exploration.
- Understanding the dynamics of gay subcultures and communities involves recognizing the diverse groups within the LGBTQ+ community, each with unique characteristics, interests, and identities. These subcultures often form around shared experiences, interests, or identities, providing a sense of belonging and community for individuals who may feel marginalized in mainstream society. Within these subcultures, there are specific norms, behaviors, and social structures that shape interactions and relationships among members, contributing to a ...
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Casual, Uncensored Discussions of Sex, Relationships, and Preferences
Comedians Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura have frank, unfiltered discussions on their podcast, delving into a wide range of topics from their sexual fantasies and preferences to details about their marital relationships and explorations.
Bert and Tom Discuss Sexual Fantasies and Preferences
Bert's Memorable Encounter With a Geisha in Japan
Bert shares an intimate memory of his time in Kyoto, Japan, with a geisha who laughed at all of his jokes, took impeccable care of him, and provided a serene experience, including a beer in the snow-laden bath the next morning. This enchanting encounter remains one of Bert's most beautiful life experiences.
Comedians Discuss Appeal of Female Accents and Ethnicities
Bert and Tom open up about the allure of different female accents and ethnic backgrounds. Bert praises his redneck wife, explaining the charm of redneck girls, while both share their thoughts on various accents and how they might translate into the bedroom. Their wide-ranging conversation touches on redneck, French, Italian, Spanish, Greek, and British accents, with jokes and personal preferences humorously scattered throughout.
Bert's Marital Relationship and Sexual Exploration
Bert's Efforts to Integrate Sexual Accessories and Role-Play
Bert recollects purchasing a nurse's outfit to spice up his sex life, only to have the scenario turn comical when Leanne, his wife, donned the costume. Moreover, Bert's desire to try a milking table and his search for a red latex outfit demonstrate his continued efforts at sexual exploration, despite concerns about Leanne's comfort level with such accessories.
Leanne's Conservative Approach and Boundaries Regarding Sexual Activities
Leanne's ...
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Casual, Uncensored Discussions of Sex, Relationships, and Preferences
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- A milking table is a piece of furniture designed for sexual activities where one person lies on their back while the other person performs activities on them from underneath the table. It is often used for activities like erotic massage, sensory play, or other intimate interactions. The design allows for a unique and sometimes submissive or vulnerable experience for the person lying on the table. Bert's interest in trying a milking table suggests a curiosity or desire for exploring different sexual experiences with his partner.
- The dynamics of Bert and Leanne's sexual explorations involve their interactions, preferences, and boundaries when it comes to trying new sexual activities or incorporating accessories into their intimate life. Bert discusses how they navigate exploring different aspects of their sexuality while respecting Leanne's comfort level and boundaries, showcasing a dynamic where they communicate openly and consider each other's needs and desires.
- In the context of relationships, "balance of power" typically refers to the distribution of influence, control, and decision-making between partners. It can involve aspects like who holds more authority, who makes key choices, and how responsibilities are shared. In Bert and Leanne's relationship, Bert hints at Leanne often being the one who has more influence or control, suggesting that she may play a significant role i ...
Counterarguments
- While the podcast may offer a space for open discussion, it's important to consider that such conversations might not be inclusive or respectful to all listeners, particularly if they rely on stereotypes or objectification.
- Sharing intimate memories publicly, like Bert's encounter with a geisha, could be seen as objectifying or exoticizing another culture, and it raises questions about consent and privacy.
- Discussing the appeal of different female accents and ethnic backgrounds can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and reduce individuals to their ethnic or cultural traits.
- The use of sexual accessories and role-play in a relationship should be approached with mutual consent and respect for both partners' comfort levels and boundaries.
- The portrayal of Leanne's conservative approach to sex could reinforce gender stereotypes about women's sexuality being more rese ...
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Their Perspectives on National/Cultural Differences and Identities
Comedians Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura delve into conversations about cultural adaptation, the diversity of subcultures, and the longing to experience international cultures, often framing their discussion with humor and personal anecdotes.
Comedians on Cultural Adaptation to American Accents and Norms
Friend Changes Indian Accent to Fit In
Bert Kreischer shares a story about meeting Adi Shankar, who, despite being born in India and growing up in Singapore, spoke without a noticeable accent. Kreischer learns that Shankar purposely adopts an American accent to blend in while in the United States, although his natural speech reveals a full-blown Indian accent.
Bert and Tom on Diversity and Subcultures in the Gay Community
Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer incorporate humor as they navigate through various cultural nuances within the gay community, making casual references to subcultures such as "black bears" and "Asian bears." They humorously speculate on the naming conventions within the gay community, joking that Asian bears might be affectionately termed "pandas."
Bert Desires to Experience British, French, or Other International Cultures and Lifestyles
Laments Missing Full Immersion in Cultural Experiences
Bert Kreischer voices his regret at not having lived abroad, particularly missing out on the lifestyle he imagines in Stockholm, Sweden, picturing a routine of biking and meeting a blonde girlfriend for beers after work. Kreischer further extends his international curiosity to a French lifestyle, imagining a romantic scenario with a French partner who exudes a carefree spirit and the charm of a morning without constraints on a Parisian balcony.
Comedians Explore the Appeal and Challenges of Arran ...
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Their Perspectives on National/Cultural Differences and Identities
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