Dr. Phil Makes Bert Cry | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Bert Kreischer and Phil delve into a lighthearted discussion about personal milestones, particularly the memories and significance of birthdays.

Bert discusses his birthdays and struggles to remember them

Bert Kreischer sparks the conversation by reflecting on the struggle to remember his past birthdays, only managing to recall 11 of them distinctly.

Bert can only recall 11 of his birthdays, including memorable events like getting his teeth knocked out with a baseball bat on one birthday

Among the limited birthdays Bert can remember, one stands out where he got his teeth knocked out by a baseball bat. Bert cites several ages he distinctly remembers such as 16, 18, 21, and then a range from 26 to 30, before jumping to his recent 49th to 51st birthdays.

Bert considers going backwards in his age to see if he can "get to zero"

Bert shares an amusing idea about "going backwards" in age. Instead of advancing from 50 to 52, he would declare himself as 48, humorously aiming to count down to zero eventually.

Bert believes he was being selfless by working on his birthday, but his wife points out that many people work on their birthdays

Reflecting on the notion of selflessness for working on his birthdays, Bert recounts moments of doing comedy in places like Omaha and Virginia Beach. However, his wife, Leanne, humorously points out that working on one's birthday is commonplace and that even schoolchildren and doctors do it.

Bert and Phil reflect on significant life moments and milestone birthdays

Both Bert and Phil open up about their significant life moments, especially around the times of their milestone birthdays.

Phil shares his experiences around his 52nd birthday and the desire to make it memorable

During Ph ...

Bert Kreischer and Phil McGraw share a lively conversation filled with humorous anecdotes, wisecracks, and a plethora of pop culture references that showcase their comedic prowess.

Bert and Phil reference various comedians, movies, and other pop culture elements

Bert and Phil riff on a wide range of topics from fast food preferences to their take on actors and fitness brands, injecting humor into every subject.

They start off with a light-hearted discussion about fast food chains, with Bert Kreischer joking about the unique texture of Taco Bell's ground beef and his attempts to replicate it at home. This spirited banter extends to their experiences with various fast food establishments, including Phil McGraw's sarcastic reference to his clarinet skills when deliberating about non-sequitur show formats.

Phil cracks a joke about a 24 Hour Fitness center that closed at 11pm and shares his exaggerated disappointment upon discovering this fact. Bert then recounts a tale of a store employee who closed the shop early and showed indifference when Bert inquired about the closing time.

A fabricated yet amusing story by Phil touches on Tobey Maguire's alleged phobias and dislikes, which is topped off with a wordplay misunderstanding involving a pun about juices.

The conversation veers to celebrity ventures, with Bert mentioning Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's product line and his own business venture—a vodka brand with Tom Segura.

Bert recounts his prom night with a humorous caveat about being "cancelled," while Phil hints at his Netflix special, teasing surprise cameos, and listing various comedians including Patton Oswalt, Jay Pharoah, Joe Gatto, and jests that even the "real" Dr. Phil might appear.

Super Bowl show hints and Travis Kelce LinkedIn jokes are peppered into the conversation before Bert gives a shoutout to the TV show "Peaky Blinders." They even delve into the humorous aspects of the COVID pandemic, with Bert joking about the symptom of losing the sense of smell.

Regarding the movies, Phil harmoniously transitions from comparing a good night's sleep on a couch to the enjoyable simplicity of a Zac Efron film, perhaps alluding to the actor's feel-good movie "17 Again." Bert chimes in with a funny observation about his fitness tracker recording false workout data when transferring from his recliner to bed.

Phil whimsically plays with references to "Sex and the City" and Sarah ...

Bert Kreischer and Phil McGraw dive into a no-holds-barred discussion filled with humor regarding an array of sexual topics, including sex toys, pornography, and the dynamics of intimate encounters.

Bert and Phil engage in humorous and explicit discussions about sex toys, pornography, and related topics

Bert Kreischer reveals he was given a penis extender and other sex toys by a particular company, prompting a jest that Fisher-Price could well-branch into the adult toy market. Both he and Phil quip about the intriguing fit between people and their professions, with a brothel serving as a humorous example.

Bert shares an experience of receiving a penis extender as a gift and discusses the differences between a penis pump and an extender

Kreischer delves into his surprise at receiving a penis extender, turning it into a comedic observation about size expectations, noting that the extender is supposed to make the penis six to seven inches long, which he quips is undersized for someone seeking an extender. Phil McGraw joins in, implying that being beyond seven or eight inches might be less desirable as it compromises comfort and practicality. Bert then compares the extender to a "Halloween costume for your dick," evidently amused at the idea and the everyday logistics of such a gadget, like its need to be charged.

Bert moves on to discuss the time when he mistook a disguised fleshlight for a beer can in a sex shop, highlighting the awkwardness and guilt usually associated with the usage and subsequent cleaning of such items. He also name-drops Joe Rogan as another high-profile figure immersed in the commercial side of sex toys.

Phil shares a story about witnessing a sexual act in his own home involving his son's friends

Although the discussion doesn't detail Phil's anecdote, there's a nod to the unanticipated events that can unfold in one’s per ...

Bert Kreischer and Phil McGraw engage in a light-hearted yet thought-provoking dialogue, touching on topics ranging from the personal perception of death to the ethical intricacies of organ donation.

Bert expresses an unconventional belief about not believing in death

Bert proposes the idea of simply not believing in death as a way to avoid worrying about it

Bert Kreischer introduces an unconventional perspective by considering not believing in death, which he presents as a strategy to alleviate fears associated with mortality. He compares this belief to other far-fetched ideas that people might hold, suggesting that if one doesn't believe in death, one doesn't have to worry about it. Bert emphasizes the importance of enjoying life, stating that since death is inevitable, one should focus on having fun while alive.

Phil acknowledges Bert's perspective but suggests the importance of maintaining a balance between setting goals and leaving room for spontaneity in life

Phil McGraw acknowledges Bert's perspective on death, suggesting that while it's essential to acknowledge mortality, it’s just as crucial to strike a balance between setting goals and leaving room for spontaneity in life. This implies that while one should be aware of life's impermanence, they should also allow room for unexpected joys and experiences.

Bert and Phil discuss the concept of organ donation and the complexities involved

They ponder the ethical and practical considerations around donating organs, particularly eyes, and the potential unintended consequences

During their conversation, Bert and Phil delve into the complexities of organ donation, with a particular interest in eye donation. They humorously discuss the expectations and practicalities, such as the suitability of receiving an organ from a donor with vastly different physical traits than the recipient. Bert ponders why blindness persists if eye donations are available, suggesting that eye transplant should theoretically cure blindness.

They humorously speculate about the hypothetical scenario of re ...