What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo: Book Overview
Have you ever felt like your past traumas were affecting your present life in ways you couldn't explain? Do you wonder about the long-term impacts of childhood adversity on your mental and physical health?
In What My Bones Know, Stephanie Foo takes readers on a deeply personal journey through her diagnosis and understanding of Complex PTSD. You'll explore the science behind trauma's effects on the brain and body, as well as various approaches to healing and recovery.
Let's dive into Stephanie Foo's What My Bones Know and uncover the insights it offers about trauma, resilience, and the path to healing.
Overview of What My Bones Know
In Stephanie Foo's memoir What My Bones Know, the author takes readers on a deeply personal journey of healing and self-discovery. After being diagnosed with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), Foo explores the psychological and physical impacts of her childhood trauma. She examines how the effects of C-PTSD extend beyond mental anguish, influencing her brain's structure, hormones, and even cellular components like telomeres.
Foo's quest for healing leads her to try various therapeutic approaches, from traditional talk therapy to EMDR, mindfulness, and alternative practices like restorative yoga. Along the way, she reflects on her family's generational trauma and strives to create a supportive community that will provide the nurturing she never received from her toxic relatives.
Understanding C-Ptsd and Its Impact
Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is a condition that can profoundly affect both mental and physical well-being. Stephanie Foo's journey of self-discovery begins with her diagnosis, which provides a medical explanation for her struggles while also burdening her with a sense of inherent undesirability.
When Foo learns about her condition, she experiences a mix of emotions. She feels bitter towards her therapist for not disclosing this information earlier and resentful towards her parents, whom she blames for her ongoing anguish. However, this diagnosis also marks a turning point in her understanding of her personal history. Foo comes to realize that C-PTSD stems from environmental influences rather than genetic inheritance, which shifts her perspective on her experiences.
The impact of C-PTSD extends far beyond mental health. Foo discovers that stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, while beneficial in moderation, can alter brain structures and accelerate physical wear when present in excessive amounts. She learns that her childhood experiences may have even shortened her lifespan by affecting her telomeres, the protective features found at the ends of chromosomes.
Interestingly, C-PTSD manifests differently across genders. Research by Joe Andreano sheds light on how changes in brain function throughout the menstrual cycle can lead to variations in vulnerability to trauma across different genders. This highlights the complex interplay between hormones, trauma, and mental health.
The Physical Toll of Trauma
Trauma doesn't just affect our minds; it leaves lasting imprints on our bodies too. Foo's exploration of the physical repercussions of her childhood abuse reveals the deep-seated nature of trauma's impact.
One of the most significant discoveries Foo makes is how abuse during developmental years can dramatically alter brain function, often in ways that elude conscious awareness. For instance, people with C-PTSD frequently experience harmful cycles of ongoing rumination and doubt. This is due to their brain's default mode network being overly active when they're not focusing on a specific task.
Foo also learns about the potential for trauma to modify epigenetic markers, potentially passing these changes on to future generations. This is evidenced by genetic changes affecting stress reactions in the descendants of Holocaust survivors. It's a sobering reminder of how the effects of trauma can extend far beyond the individual who experienced it directly.
The physical toll of trauma extends to various aspects of brain structure and function. Children who have experienced abuse often perceive ambiguous facial expressions as anger, suggesting they're more alert to potential dangers. Research indicates that the brains of individuals who have endured early trauma undergo structural changes. The amygdala, which triggers responses to fear, becomes enlarged. Areas involved in self-awareness and reflective thinking are less developed, and parts of the brain responsible for interpreting physical sensations have diminished in volume.
These changes can have far-reaching effects on a person's life. Alterations have been observed in the brain areas responsible for maintaining concentration, regulating emotional reactions, and facilitating social engagement. This can lead to difficulties in both personal and professional settings, as Foo herself experienced.
Exploring Treatment Options
In her quest for healing, Foo explores a variety of therapeutic approaches. Her journey is marked by both frustration and moments of breakthrough, highlighting the complex and often challenging path to recovery from C-PTSD.
Foo's experience with traditional talk therapy left her feeling dissatisfied and searching for more practical solutions. She recounts numerous instances where therapists fell short of her expectations, including skepticism about her C-PTSD diagnosis, ineffective therapy sessions, and interactions with therapists who lacked compassion or expertise. Even when working with a therapist skilled in complex psychological traumas, Foo found herself experiencing no relief, only a growing sense of despair.
One treatment that seemed promising was Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. In her initial EMDR session, Foo felt a deep emotional connection with her younger self. However, the euphoria didn't last, with subsequent sessions falling short of expectations. This experience underscores the trial-and-error nature of finding the right therapeutic match.
Foo's therapeutic journey included a variety of other approaches, including sessions with an intern focused on cost-effective trauma care and interactions with a psychologist who examined her preference for a regimented treatment methodology. She even briefly considered participating in an audio-recorded therapy experiment, though the thought of exposing her vulnerabilities in that context made her uneasy.
Throughout her experiences, Foo becomes increasingly disillusioned with the healthcare system's ability to foster genuine healing. She notes that mental health care for conditions like mood disorders and those related to stress is often terminated hastily. She points out that exploring her traumatic past in depth has yielded minimal, if any, beneficial results.
The Power of Mindfulness and Self-Care
While traditional therapy left Foo feeling frustrated, she found unexpected solace in mindfulness practices and self-care techniques. However, this journey wasn't without its challenges.
Initially, Foo struggled with mindfulness and meditation, noting their potential to exacerbate traumatic responses. However, she persevered and eventually found profound comfort and healing during restorative yoga sessions. This was a stark contrast to her usual feelings of discomfort.
Grounding techniques became a valuable tool for Foo in managing flashbacks. The rigorous practice of yoga, which required intense concentration, helped redirect her awareness to bodily experiences. Although she initially struggled with meditation, it eventually became a conduit for her to attain pure moments of existence and freedom from her emotions.
Through her exploration of self-care, Foo came to a pivotal realization: the essence of self-care lies in embracing one's true self rather than pursuing an ideal of perfection. She discovered that self-care doesn't require costly and obligatory measures, but rather involves engaging in self-nurturing activities that are comforting and affirming.
Foo recognized that her path to healing is ongoing. In her quest for progress rather than perfection, she found resilience through the autonomy she recently embraced. This shift in perspective allowed her to approach self-care and healing with a more compassionate and sustainable mindset.
Generational Trauma and Family History
Foo's journey of healing led her to explore not just her own trauma, but the generational trauma that had been passed down through her family. This exploration provided valuable context for understanding her personal anguish and the widespread distress prevalent in her community.
Foo delved into her family's history, uncovering stories of relocation, suffering, and adversity. She learned about her relatives' solitary existences, their commitment to demanding labor, and their confrontations with deep grief from significant losses. This exploration revealed a persistent tradition in her family of not speaking about distressing events.
In her cultural context, as described by Professor Russell Jeung, beliefs in fortune and the supernatural often lead to a tendency to avoid discussions about distressing occurrences. This cultural factor played a part in her family's reluctance to talk about difficult experiences.
Foo's understanding of her family members' struggles was enhanced through contemplation of previous conversations with her aunt and by scrutinizing historical documents at the National Archives of Singapore. She uncovered harrowing stories, such as her grandfather's escape from captivity during a tumultuous period, which resulted not only in the loss of his dental health but also in a profound change in his demeanor.
Breaking the Cycle of Trauma
Armed with a deeper understanding of her family's history and the nature of generational trauma, Foo made a conscious decision to break the cycle. This involved taking decisive steps to limit her engagement with toxic relatives and create a more supportive environment for herself.
One of the most difficult decisions Foo made was to sever ties with her father. This step reflected her commitment to safeguarding her psychological well-being, even when it meant going against societal expectations of familial obligation. Foo grappled with her sense of duty and carefully considered the implications of maintaining a relationship with her father before making this choice.
In place of her biological family, Foo strived to build a supportive community and form a family of choice that promotes recovery. She discovered the strength to depend on and have faith in this newfound family, moving past the deep-seated survival strategies that stemmed from the trauma within her own family.
Foo underwent a metamorphosis through the affection and traditions of a family that offered a kind of nurturing support, which was in stark contrast to what her own relatives provided. Her commitment to nurturing a legacy characterized by compassion and understanding marks a conscious move away from ancestral cycles of adversity.
The Broader Context of Trauma
Foo's exploration of her personal trauma led her to consider the broader historical and cultural contexts that shaped her family's experiences. She situated her personal challenges within a wider generational framework, considering major historical events like the turmoil of China's Cultural Revolution and the proxy wars initiated by America.
Through the exploration of personal stories and historical accounts, Foo deepened her understanding of the repercussions of systemic violence and prejudice. She learned about events such as the 1871 slaughter of Chinese settlers in Los Angeles, which highlighted the hostility towards Asians that her ancestors may have faced.
This broader perspective allowed Foo to place her own traumatic experiences within a historical framework, highlighting the suffering her family endured due to the struggles and subjugations her forebears encountered. It provided a context for understanding not just her personal trauma, but the collective trauma experienced by her community and culture.
In conclusion, Stephanie Foo's journey, as recounted in What My Bones Know, is a testament to the power of understanding, resilience, and the human capacity for healing. By exploring the intricate cultural influences and the legacy of past conflicts that formed her ancestry, Foo lays a foundation for a future free from the wounds of bygone times. Her narrative exemplifies unwavering resilience, a path to deep understanding, and a commitment to breaking the cycle of persistent trauma.