Do you prioritize yourself? Can self-love transform your life in positive ways?
“You are the love of your life.” So says Viola Davis, acclaimed actress and advocate. In her memoir, she opens up about her struggles with self-esteem and trauma, offering practical advice on healing and growth. Davis emphasizes the importance of therapy, boundary-setting, and embracing authenticity.
Keep reading to learn why Davis values self-love and encourages you to do the same.
“You Are the Love of Your Life”
According to Viola Davis, you are the love of your life. While she is committed to supporting others, she speaks often about the importance of self-love and prioritizing your own wants and needs. Davis candidly reflects on her struggles with self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy rooted in the racism and trauma she experienced, especially as a young child.
Davis emphasizes the significance of setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and embracing vulnerability as key components of self-love. She also discusses the importance of therapy and self-reflection in the healing process. She shares how seeking professional help allowed her to confront and heal from both the immediate and long-lasting effects of trauma. Through therapy, Davis gained tools to address the negative patterns and behaviors that stemmed from her traumatic experiences, allowing her to break free from their hold and reclaim her life.
(Shortform note: Davis has been transparent about the role therapy has played in her life, and while therapy has become increasingly normalized, studies show that Black people are less likely to seek treatment for mental health challenges than their white counterparts, despite experiencing higher rates of PTSD and symptoms of trauma. Barriers such as unequal healthcare access, historic distrust of medical institutions, a cultural reliance on non-medical support systems, and the underrepresentation of Black counselors, along with a general lack of cultural competence in the mental health field, further discourage Black individuals from accessing professional treatment.)
Davis advocates for the idea that true healing begins from within, encouraging readers to embrace their authentic selves and celebrate their unique qualities. Davis writes that liberation comes when you stop seeking validation and approval from external sources and instead find strength and fulfillment in your inherent worth.
(Shortform note: Self-love is a theme that Viola Davis continues to reiterate in speeches and interviews. On several occasions, she has reminded her audience, “You are the love of your life.” When asked for relationship advice during a red carpet interview, Davis gave the same advice that she gives to her daughter Genesis—that loving yourself is the greatest seed for great friendships and great relationships. Everything, she said, grows from there.)
Exercise: Be the Love of Your Life
Self-love is the central theme of Davis’s memoir. Reflect on this theme.
- What does “You are the love of your life” mean?
- What would it look like to treat yourself like the love of your life?
- Identify a moment in your life when you didn’t prioritize yourself and treat yourself with love. What happened? How did it feel?
- Can you identify a moment in your life when you fully embodied the idea that you’re the love of your life?
- What’s one thing you could commit to embody this philosophy more consistently?
