What makes win-win negotiations so appealing, and why might they lead to unfavorable deals? How can you protect yourself from making poor decisions when aiming for mutually beneficial outcomes?
In Start With No, negotiation expert Jim Camp challenges the popular win-win negotiation approach, revealing its hidden pitfalls and potential dangers. His insights show how the desire for mutual benefit can actually lead to unnecessary compromises, rushed agreements, and emotion-driven decisions.
Keep reading to discover practical strategies for navigating negotiations more effectively and securing better deals for all parties involved.
The Pitfalls of Win-Win Negotiations
Camp argues that, while the concept of win-win negotiations is appealing, it often leads to subpar deals: When you’re invested in getting a mutually beneficial outcome, you’re more likely to agree to deals quickly—deals that are often mediocre or poor.
Camp discusses four reasons the win-win approach makes you more likely to secure less favorable deals:
1. Unnecessary compromises: A win-win mindset can mislead you into thinking that you must give concessions to the other party to achieve a mutually beneficial deal, causing you to give away more than necessary.
2. Unfair outcomes: What one party considers fair, the other might not—and even if both parties consider a deal fair, the deal may in reality benefit one party more than the other.
3. Emotion-driven outcomes: Trying to reach a win-win solution can cause you to make decisions that feel good but aren’t necessarily the best for you. In your eagerness to secure a deal that makes everyone happy, you may agree on a deal that might not actually be worth making.
| Can a Win-Win Approach Secure Good Deals? In You Can Negotiate Anything, Herb Cohen acknowledges the risks of win-win negotiation that Camp mentions, but he argues you can avoid these risks and achieve superior outcomes with a win-win approach if you: 1. Discourage sacrifices. Cohen recommends explicitly verbalizing that you’re not aiming to make each party sacrifice something they want to reach a deal. Like Camp, he explains that if both parties expect that sacrifice is necessary for making a deal, they’ll resort to win-lose tactics to minimize their sacrifice, leading to poor outcomes. Instead, your goal should be to find a solution that satisfies everyone’s desires without sacrifice. 2. Establish a common goal of win-win. Camp argues that fairness is subjective, which makes finding a win-win solution difficult. However, Cohen argues that as long as you announce your desire to find a solution that satisfies everyone involved, get the other party to commit to the same goal, and build trust with them, you can achieve good, mutually beneficial solutions. 3. Make the negotiation enjoyable. Cohen argues that by focusing on the other party’s emotions, you can improve your chances of reaching a favorable deal. He recommends you understand the other negotiator’s personality and preferences. Some people enjoy a friendly, respectful interaction, while others thrive on the back-and-forth of haggling. By tailoring your approach to their style, you make the negotiation more enjoyable for them, which in turn makes them more likely to work with you towards a mutually beneficial outcome. |
4. Rushed Agreements: Many negotiators think the quicker they reach an agreement with their negotiation partner, the better. However, hasty agreements tend to have unstated expectations and conditions that only surface later because neither side fully discussed them. As a result, the deal you thought you agreed to may not be as beneficial as it initially appeared. For example, imagine you’re buying a house, and you quickly agree to pay the asking price. You may assume that because you’ve made the process smooth and easy, the seller will also make the process smooth and easy by taking care of a few repairs that were noted during the inspection. If, however, the seller never specifically agreed to handle the repairs, they may not have the same understanding of your unspoken expectation, and you may end up dissatisfied with the final deal.
| How to Re-Negotiate Bad Deals If you’ve rushed through a negotiation and ended up with a bad deal, consider renegotiating the deal. Experts suggest you bring the parts of the agreement that you find unfair to the other party’s attention and back your claims with strong evidence. Most people have an intrinsic sense of fairness, and if they perceive an imbalance, they might be open to renegotiations. If they don’t respond to your initial request, try to get their attention in other ways. For example, if you’re the buyer in the previous example and you want to renegotiate for repairs and renovations you thought were included in the asking price: First, communicate your assumptions clearly to the seller. Then, provide any documentation or proof that supports your understanding, such as emails or listings. If they still don’t agree to renegotiate, you could propose a meeting with a neutral third-party such as a licensed real estate agent to mediate and settle the issue fairly. |
Prioritize Respect Over Friendship
If you’re focused on achieving a win-win, you may think that befriending your counterpart and finding ways to help them out will lead to better outcomes. However, Camp cautions against letting friendship influence any element of your negotiation. He explains that decisions based on friendship lead to bad deals, as you might leave money on the table or accept unfavorable terms to keep the peace or maintain the relationship. He warns that experienced negotiators know this, and will use friendship to subtly pressure you into conceding more than you need to.
Instead of prioritizing friendship, Camp recommends you focus on being respectful and making logical decisions. Respect and logic build long-lasting relationships, while expectations of friendship can strain relationships. For example, if you overpay for a friend’s low-quality product and later encounter problems with the product, you may feel frustrated with both the product and your friend, which damages your relationship.
(Shortform note: It’s not always possible to keep friendship out of a negotiation. Sometimes you must negotiate with people you already have a personal relationship with—friends or family. These negotiations can be difficult because they pit our instinct to look out for the other person’s welfare with our instinct to be fairly compensated for our time, effort, and money. To secure fair deals when bargaining with loved ones, experts recommend setting an agreement beforehand: Agree to use the item’s market value as the negotiating standard instead of giving special favors.)
