This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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When do women reach their sexual peak? Is women’s sexual peak related to their reproductive capability?
According to Rollo Tomassi, the author of The Rational Male, women reach their sexual peak when they are young because that’s when they’re most desirable as a mating partner. However, doctors and scientists say that a sexual peak is when someone is having the most (and best) sex and is completely unrelated to their reproductive capability.
Keep reading to learn about women’s sexual peak years, according to Tomassi vs. science.
When Tomassi Says Women Reach Their Sexual Peak
According to Tomassi, when do women reach their sexual peak? To understand his reasoning, we have to look at what he claims women are lying about, which is that older women are sexually desirable and exciting. As Tomassi explains, this lie supports women’s mating strategy. Women are driven to find the best-qualified, highest-status man they can get. They need ample time and opportunity to do that.
The lie that women reach their sexual peak later in life gives women the buffer they need to vet men as potential providers. According to Tomassi, here’s how this works: Early in life, when women are more fertile and physically appealing, they seek out and can “hook” men whose contribution to offspring is purely genetic—guys who are fit, muscular, and attractive. But, they know they will eventually need a man who has sufficient money, connections, and status to support them and their children. So, later in life, women shift their focus away from men’s looks and instead prioritize long-term security. This means seeking out men with ample money, connections, and status.
When these secure, successful men believe the lie that older women reach their sexual peak later in life, they’re more vulnerable to making bad relationship decisions. A man will convince himself that an older woman who seems—and supposedly is—supremely sexually vital, eager, and experienced is somehow a better option than a younger, more fertile, and more sexually desirable woman.
Contrary to popular belief, Tomassi says, women’s prime sexual years are between ages 18 and 25. This is when they’re most attractive and desirable as mating partners, determined by biology. In contrast, men’s prime sexual years are between ages 30 and 36, determined by a combination of their physical attractiveness, level of social dominance, and professional achievements. Tomassi contends that whereas women’s sexual desirability is short-lived and declines rapidly with age, men’s sexual desirability is more sustained and often increases as they age.
Clarifying Women’s Sexual Peak and How It Influences Their Relationship Decisions
Recent research suggests women reach their sexual peak between 27 and 45 years old, while men peak in their early 20s. Hormones levels for both men and women decline throughout their reproductive years, which tends to lower libido. However, people of all ages can have satisfying sex. Research confirms a vast range of sex drives and sexual activity across ages. Many people, women, in particular, report having better sex when they’re older. This may be due to having more experience, more skilled partners, and more comfortable communicating their needs.
So, how does the discrepancy between men’s and women’s sex drives influence women’s relationship preferences? Research shows that some older women seek out younger men because they want partners who can keep up with their high sex drives. In one study, women dating younger men gave three reasons for seeking out younger men:
- They believed younger men were more equipped to satisfy them sexually—the men would want more sex and would last longer during sex.
- They felt more comfortable being assertive about their sexual needs and desires, assuming younger men would appreciate them taking a more active role.
- They thought younger men would be keener to prioritize their partner’s sexual pleasure than their own—anticipating that younger men would try harder to impress women with their skills than older men.
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Here's what you'll find in our full The Rational Male summary :
- How women use a feminine agenda to manipulate men
- Why sex should never be a transactional arrangement
- Why men don't need long-term relationships
