Have you ever wondered why certain patterns in your life keep repeating themselves? What influences our decisions and leadership choices?
Leadership expert Jerry Colonna explores these profound questions in his book, Reboot. His work delves into how childhood experiences and deeply ingrained fears shape the way leaders make decisions and interact with their teams.
If you want to break free from limiting patterns and create a more authentic leadership style, the insights and practical strategies that follow will guide you toward meaningful transformation.
The Patterns and Fear That Shape Decisions
What influences our decisions? Colonna underscores the significance of identifying the foundational beliefs, recurring tendencies, and apprehensions that influence our choices and actions. Colonna posits that many of these challenges stem from the defensive strategies we developed in our formative years to manage our first encounters with adversity. For example, growing up in poverty can instill a deep-seated fear of financial insecurity, which may influence someone to become a leader characterized by an overly assertive or aggressive demeanor over time. Recognizing where these automatic actions stem from is the first step in liberating oneself from habits that are no longer beneficial to the individual or their business.
Colonna employs the analogy of lingering spectral presences within our psyche to illustrate how outdated patterns and ingrained behaviors from our history persist in shaping our current actions. These specters can take many forms, including an unquenchable thirst for validation, a dread of falling short, or a habit of excessive labor. Colonna emphasizes the importance of profound and compassionate introspection to recognize and understand the foundational problems that could influence one’s capacity to lead. The author often challenges his clients to reflect on their possible contribution to the very situations they profess to oppose by posing the question, “In what ways could you be contributing to the existence of the scenarios you assert opposition to?” Leaders in their respective roles are encouraged to recognize their own role in the challenges faced by taking responsibility for their personal histories.
| Practical Tips • Start a “Why I Did That” journal to observe patterns in your behavior. Every evening, write down at least one choice you made that day and explore why you made it. Look for trends over time, such as always avoiding confrontation or consistently choosing the safe route in situations, to understand your underlying tendencies. • Create a “response plan” for future adversities by outlining healthier strategies on index cards. Keep these cards handy for when you’re faced with a difficult situation. For instance, if you typically respond to stress by procrastinating, your card might suggest taking a five-minute walk to clear your head and then breaking down the task into smaller, manageable steps. • Develop a personal financial education plan to combat the fear of financial insecurity. Dedicate time each week to learn about budgeting, investing, and saving through free online resources or local community courses. As you gain knowledge, you’ll likely feel more empowered and less driven by fear in your financial decisions. • Set up a ‘habit origin’ journaling alarm on your phone. Choose a time each day when you’re likely to be free, and set a recurring alarm with a label such as “What triggered my habits today?” When the alarm goes off, take a few minutes to jot down any automatic behaviors you engaged in and what might have triggered them. Over time, this can help you identify patterns and the underlying causes of your habits. • Develop a “change trigger” that signals the need to assess your actions. Choose a common object or activity as your trigger, such as a coffee break or a specific ringtone. Every time you encounter this trigger, pause to reflect on your current actions and ask yourself if they’re influenced by outdated patterns. For instance, if you’re about to send an email in haste because that’s how you’ve always dealt with stress, the trigger can remind you to reconsider and possibly choose a more thoughtful approach. • Create a “Validation Bank” by writing down moments of personal achievement or praise on slips of paper and storing them in a jar. When you feel the need for external validation, pull out a slip to remind yourself of your worth and reduce the dependency on others for affirmation. • Start a reflective journaling practice by dedicating 10 minutes each evening to write about your leadership experiences of the day, focusing on what challenged you and why. This habit can help you uncover patterns in your behavior and decision-making that may be hindering your leadership effectiveness. For example, you might notice that you hesitate to delegate tasks, which could stem from a lack of trust in your team’s abilities or a desire for control. • Use role-reversal exercises with a trusted friend to gain perspective on your contributions to situations. Take turns explaining a challenging situation from your point of view, then switch roles and argue the opposite side. This can help you see your own role in a new light and understand how your actions or attitudes may be contributing to the problem. • Create a “challenge map” for a current project, identifying where you have control, influence, and no control. This visual tool can help you pinpoint where to take responsibility and where to delegate or collaborate. For instance, if you’re leading a team, you might realize that while you can’t control individual work styles, you can influence communication by setting clear expectations. |
