Why do we often see others as less capable than they really are? What mental shortcuts lead us to make snap judgments about people we barely know?
In You Are Not So Smart, David McRaney reveals how we frequently fall into the trap of underestimating others while overestimating ourselves. He explores fascinating psychological phenomena such as the third person effect and the fundamental attribution error that shape our perceptions of those around us.
Keep reading to discover how these mental shortcuts affect your relationships and learn practical ways to make more accurate judgments about others.
Underestimating Others
McRaney explains that, despite overestimating ourselves, we’re often underestimating others. This can be seen in psychological phenomena such the third person effect (we see others as more gullible than we are), the representativeness heuristic (we make generalizations and character judgments based on simple facts we know about a person), and the fundamental attribution error (we believe that a person’s actions fundamentally reflect their character although we tend to make excuses for our own actions that preserve our character).
McRaney explains that we fall prey to these thought errors because they’re mental shortcuts that allow us to make quick judgments and decisions that help us understand and navigate our world safely. For example, if someone yelled at you once, you assume they’re a mean person and avoid them to protect yourself. However, people are more complex than this. You can see this in yourself—raising your voice one day when you’re upset doesn’t mean you’re a cruel person.
(Shortform note: While these thought errors occur in everyone at a basic level, when taken to the extreme, they can be indicative of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). People with NPD tend to have an unrealistically high sense of self-importance and superiority over others and often see others as less intelligent, capable, and complex than they are. This can cause issues in numerous areas of their life, especially relationships.)
These thought errors can be detrimental for numerous reasons. For example, they can lead to prejudice and make you underestimate and therefore deny opportunities to others. The misunderstandings you have as a result of these errors can also damage relationships. To avoid this, McRaney suggests refraining from making snap judgments about people—consider what you don’t know and what you need to learn to make an accurate judgment. Further, don’t censor people based on what you think they’re capable of; instead, give people the opportunity to make judgments and decisions based on their own rationale.
(Shortform note: These thought errors can be especially harmful at work—doubting and limiting employees prevents them and the company from reaching their full potential. Paul Marciano expresses this sentiment in Carrots and Sticks Don’t Work and provides a few tips to help you start trusting and empowering people more. For example, to empower people to do better rather than doubting their current abilities, regularly ask them how you can help them improve, for example with more training, resources, or information. Further, empower employees with autonomy and decision-making authority—when they know you trust them, they’ll rise to the occasion and behave effectively.)
