What does it take for a successful businesswoman to maintain authenticity while navigating corporate America? How can someone build genuine worth beyond professional achievements?
In Worthy, former Microsoft executive Jane Boulware shares her journey of overcoming personal and professional obstacles while staying true to herself. This successful businesswoman’s story reveals how she battled an eating disorder, faced workplace challenges, and found where true worth comes from.
Continue reading to explore powerful insights about resilience, self-acceptance, and the importance of building meaningful relationships along the path to success.
A Successful Businesswoman’s Story
You’ll find a successful businesswoman’s story in the memoir of former Microsoft executive Jane Boulware. She has exhibited remarkable fortitude while overcoming numerous obstacles and cultivated a determination to succeed, accompanied by an unwavering commitment to hard work from her early years.
From a Broken Leg to an Unwelcoming Work Environment
At the age of eleven, while ice skating with friends, Boulware suffered a severe leg fracture that caused not only intense pain but also a delayed response from her parents. During this difficult time, she found solace and strength internally, utilizing her inventiveness and inherent skills to cope with the isolation. This early experience foreshadowed her ability to overcome future challenges.
Upon her arrival at Microsoft, Boulware was met with a work atmosphere that did not feel welcoming. Despite her professional accomplishments and knowledge, she encountered colleagues who diminished her contributions and doubted her worth. This professional setback was intensified when Boulware sustained a leg fracture during a skiing mishap, which led to several surgical interventions and a period of distressing convalescence. She overcame every challenge, including professional and health hurdles, ultimately finding strength in accepting her own vulnerability and the motivation she gained from her circle of allies.
(Shortform note: While the support of allies can provide valuable encouragement, their motivation can sometimes become overpowering, potentially compromising one’s ability to make independent decisions. Similarly, the common belief that embracing vulnerability invariably leads to strength may not always hold true; without proper coping strategies in place, such vulnerability might instead result in feelings of defeat or resignation.)
Battling an Eating Disorder
Boulware candidly discusses her struggle with bulimia, an illness she kept hidden for a prolonged period. The compulsion to fulfill various self-imposed and externally imposed standards contributed to her battle with an eating disorder. She sought solace in the cyclical behavior of overeating and then engaging in purging as a means to silence the persistent murmurs of not being good enough and lacking confidence.
Upon recognizing that she could no longer manage her situation on her own, Boulware turned to Overeaters Anonymous for assistance. Although she often felt like an outsider among her peers, she found solace and strength in their shared experiences and the supportive environment, wholeheartedly embracing the tenets of a structured recovery process.
During her journey, Boulware stopped labeling her behaviors and traits as either good or bad, and instead welcomed her vulnerabilities as she pursued self-acceptance and love. Boulware’s book reveals that even highly accomplished people can face internal conflicts, underscoring the significance of openness, pursuing assistance, and the strength derived from forming supportive connections.
Maintaining Optimism and Finding Creative Solutions
Throughout her book, Boulware demonstrates an uncanny ability to maintain optimism and find creative solutions in the face of what seem to be insurmountable challenges. From her early years, she consistently demonstrated a resolute spirit, whether she was playfully soaking her residence with water or navigating complex obstacles in corporations worth billions.
At university, Boulware faced financial difficulties and ingeniously repurposed unused carpet pieces from her father’s garage into rugs, which she then marketed to fellow students. In the initial stages of her tenure at Kimberly-Clark, she addressed a complex business challenge by developing GoodNites, a product tailored for children who are beyond the toddler age yet still struggle with nocturnal enuresis.
This success stemmed not just from her own grit but from her ability to collaborate with others and motivate them to achieve a common goal, even in the face of skepticism and limited resources. Boulware’s optimistic perspective stems from the principles ingrained in her from a young age, and this foundation was solidified by her partner’s unwavering confidence in her ability to handle challenging circumstances.
| Exercises Create a “Positivity Pact” with a friend or family member where you commit to sending each other a message of optimism whenever one faces a challenge. This mutual support system ensures that you have a consistent reminder of the power of optimism. When your pact partner faces a setback, you might send an encouraging note highlighting their strengths and past successes. Create a “Mix and Match” idea box filled with random objects, words, and images. Whenever you’re faced with a challenge, draw a few items from the box and try to make connections between them and your problem. This can spark unconventional ideas and solutions that you might not have considered otherwise. Start a “Challenge Accepted” journal where you record a daily challenge you’ve faced and how you addressed it. This could be as simple as speaking up in a meeting when you’re usually quiet or as complex as solving a work-related problem. The act of writing it down reinforces your commitment to facing challenges head-on and helps you reflect on your growth over time. Start a small garden using kitchen scraps to grow your own herbs and vegetables. Plant the ends of green onions, lettuce, or celery in pots with soil, and place them in a sunny spot. This not only provides you with fresh produce but also teaches you about sustainable living and can reduce your grocery bills over time. Experiment with modifying existing products to better serve your needs, which could reveal opportunities for innovation. Take an item you use regularly and think of one way it could be improved to better serve its purpose or to extend its use to a new application. For instance, if you find that your water bottle always warms up too quickly, you might wrap it in different materials to see which keeps it cool longest, potentially leading to a new type of insulating bottle sleeve. Encourage collaboration in your local community by initiating a community improvement project, such as a neighborhood garden or a book exchange. Start by inviting neighbors to a casual meet-up to brainstorm ideas that everyone is passionate about. Once a project is chosen, delegate tasks based on each person’s interests and abilities, ensuring that everyone has a role and feels invested in the project’s success. Share updates and celebrate milestones together to maintain motivation and a sense of communal achievement. Create a “Good News” filter for your social media feeds. Use browser extensions or apps that allow you to highlight positive stories and optimistic posts, reducing the visibility of negative content. This can help cultivate a more optimistic online environment, subtly influencing your daily perspective to be more like Boulware’s. Start a daily practice of “Skill Swap” with a friend or colleague where you teach each other a skill you’re proficient in. This exchange not only broadens your skill set but also reinforces your confidence as you realize the value you bring to others. For instance, if you’re good at public speaking and your friend excels at data analysis, teach each other the basics of your respective skills. This mutual learning experience can boost your confidence in your abilities. |
Navigating the Intricacies of Corporate America
Boulware openly examines her personal battle to establish her own criteria for success, independent of the expectations and beliefs of others. She maneuvers through the intricacies of the corporate environment, consistently upholding her principles and genuine identity. The book highlights the challenge of finding equilibrium between one’s drive and resolve, and simultaneously cultivating modesty, self-assurance, along with an openness to change.
Resisting Pressure to Conform to Corporate Norms
Boulware recounts the pressure she felt to conform to corporate norms, particularly those prevalent in the male-dominated tech industry. She articulates her unease with the norms of attire, modes of communication, and socializing, emphasizing the struggle to maintain authenticity while conforming to expectations.
While striving to adapt to the prevailing business environment, Boulware realized that her genuine impact as a leader was derived from her authenticity. She motivates people to critically evaluate their own standards of success and resist the pressure to conform to societal norms that might not align with their authentic values or potential. She encourages maintaining a harmony between conforming to a corporate setting and preserving an individual’s distinctive identity.
| Shortform Note The tech industry’s historically male-dominated culture has created unique challenges for women and minorities, who often face pressure to conform to existing cultural norms in order to advance professionally. This pressure can manifest in various ways, including through corporate dress codes that subtly enforce conformity and reflect dominant cultural standards, potentially conflicting with personal expression and cultural identity. However, research shows that authentic leadership and personal expression can actually lead to greater success in the workplace. Leaders who remain true to themselves are more likely to build genuine relationships and loyal teams, resulting in sustained performance and growth. Moreover, when individuals align their personal values with their professional actions, they typically experience increased job satisfaction and better mental well-being, with reduced stress and burnout. The journey of balancing conformity with individuality can itself become a valuable opportunity for personal growth, promoting self-reflection and a deeper understanding of one’s values and goals. |
Balancing Ambition With Humility
Boulware’s journey reveals a constant tension between her ambition and self-belief and the humility and openness to growth that are essential for long-term success. She candidly discusses her battles with self-doubt, especially in circumstances where she perceived herself as lacking the necessary qualifications or feeling insufficient. However, she also acknowledges that her accomplishments were significantly bolstered by her self-awareness of personal limitations and her active pursuit of assistance from others.
Boulware encourages readers to embrace opportunities even when they feel unprepared, recognizing that discomfort can be a catalyst for growth. She underscores the significance of perpetual growth in both career and personal life, while also pointing out the critical need to pursue and embrace advice from mentors and peers.
| Shortform Note Personal and professional growth often occurs when individuals step outside their comfort zones and embrace discomfort, as these challenging situations create valuable learning experiences. Successfully navigating unprepared situations not only builds self-confidence but also reinforces one’s ability to handle future challenges. Developing emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in this process, helping individuals manage self-doubt through improved self-awareness and self-regulation skills. In today’s rapidly evolving job market, continuous growth is essential for maintaining competitiveness and capitalizing on opportunities arising from technological advancements and industry shifts. Regular interactions with mentors and peers provide support in setting realistic goals and maintaining accountability, ensuring consistent progress. Additionally, reaching out for help can expand one’s professional network, creating valuable opportunities for future collaborations and career advancements. |
Discovering True Self-Worth
Boulware’s book emphasizes that genuine value is not determined by professional designations, awards, or tangible assets. Throughout her career, she garnered significant accomplishments and wealth, yet she realized that such external triumphs did not equate to inner satisfaction or a feeling of self-worth. Her path, marked by various challenges in her personal and professional spheres, culminated in the creation of her distinct benchmarks for success.
Boulware encourages readers to examine their own values and priorities, emphasizing that authentic happiness comes from aligning actions with what truly matters. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and cherishing one’s accomplishments, yet she warns of the pitfalls of depending exclusively on outside approval for self-worth assessment.
| Exercises Create a “Value Board” in your home, similar to a vision board, but instead of goals or material desires, fill it with images and quotes that represent character traits and non-material achievements you admire. This could include pictures symbolizing generosity, community service, or personal growth. Seeing these daily reinforces the idea that these are the true measures of value. Volunteer for a cause that resonates with you without sharing it on social media or seeking any form of acknowledgment. This allows you to experience the satisfaction of contributing to something larger than yourself, reinforcing the idea that the impact of your actions can be a reward in itself. Start a “Joy Journal” to document daily activities that bring you genuine happiness, regardless of external recognition. By keeping track of these moments, you create a personal inventory of what truly satisfies you. For example, if you find joy in reading to your child, note how it makes you feel, emphasizing the internal reward over any external validation. Engage in a “Benchmark Swap” with a friend or colleague where you share your individual success criteria and provide feedback to each other. This exercise can offer new perspectives on what success can look like and help you refine your benchmarks to be more inclusive of different aspects of success, such as personal growth, relationships, and community impact. Use a habit tracking app to reinforce actions that align with your values. Choose habits that reflect your core values and track your consistency in maintaining them. The app will provide you with data on your progress, helping you stay accountable and motivated to act in harmony with what truly matters to you. Designate a wall in your home as an “Accomplishment Wall” where you post notes, photos, certificates, or any other visual representations of your achievements. Seeing this wall daily can serve as a constant source of motivation and a visual affirmation of your capabilities and growth. |
Cultivating Meaningful Relationships and Support Systems
Boulware understood from the outset that forging and sustaining strong, supportive relationships was crucial. Her book underscores the importance of forging bonds with people who will offer steadfast support and attend to your requirements, particularly in the toughest times, much like the darkness just before dawn.
Fostering Relationships That Transcend Professional Roles
The book’s emphasis is on cultivating genuine connections with colleagues and peers that go beyond the scope of professional responsibilities. She promotes engaging with others through authentic conversations, demonstrating a real curiosity about their experiences, and extending heartfelt assistance, all of which foster an environment conducive to mutual trust and exchange. Boulware emphasizes the robustness of work-related bonds that may grow into lasting friendships, providing a steadfast base of support beyond the professional environment.
| Shortform Note Building strong interpersonal relationships in the workplace is a complex process that requires navigating various challenges, including cultural differences, communication barriers, and personal biases. While curiosity can play a crucial role in conflict resolution by encouraging individuals to explore underlying issues and motivations, it’s essential to be aware of and sensitive to cultural differences when offering assistance or building connections. These thoughtful interactions and conversations help build empathy, allowing individuals to see situations from others’ perspectives, which ultimately enhances teamwork and cooperation. Strong interpersonal relationships contribute significantly to organizational success by helping build a cohesive culture that aligns employees with the company’s values and mission. Regular recognition and appreciation of colleagues’ contributions can enhance trust and morale, encouraging continued engagement and collaboration. However, it’s important to note that cultural norms regarding personal and professional relationships vary; while some cultures embrace blending these relationships, others may view it as inappropriate. Additionally, maintaining a support system outside of work can help individuals build resilience, providing trusted resources during times of stress or uncertainty. |
The Support of the McHugh Family
Jane Boulware recounts her journey alongside the McHugh family, to whom she became as close as relatives, thanks to their proximity as neighbors. The McHugh family played a pivotal role in Boulware’s life, providing support for her children as she managed the demands of a high-powered career and frequent travel. This connection emphasizes the importance of seeking and accepting help, recognizing that even those who are capable and skilled need support, particularly when dealing with difficult tasks. Boulware emphasizes the enduring nature of true friendship, highlighting the value of surrounding oneself with people who are reliably steadfast.
| Shortform Note The concept of a “village” in child-rearing remains vital across many cultures, emphasizing the essential role that extended family and close friends play in raising children. These relationships, built on trust and mutual respect, create a secure environment where non-family members can effectively assume parental roles. This support system becomes particularly crucial for individuals managing demanding careers, where long hours and high stress are common features of their professional lives. Many people in high-powered positions, despite facing significant responsibilities and leadership demands, sometimes hesitate to seek help, viewing it as a sign of weakness or failure. The dynamics of these support networks often involve shared childcare responsibilities, helping maintain stability and routine for children when parents are occupied with work commitments. Long-lasting friendships, celebrated through various cultural rituals and traditions, form the backbone of these community connections. Steadfast individuals within these networks contribute to a broader sense of community, creating an interconnected web of mutual aid that benefits all participants. This system of support demonstrates how traditional village-style child-rearing can successfully adapt to modern professional demands while preserving the essential elements of trust, respect, and shared responsibility. |
Joining a Bridge Club
Boulware shares her experiences of joining a group dedicated to playing cards, highlighting the unexpected lessons she learned about marriage, parenting, and navigating the complexities of life. Initially conceived as a center for social engagement, the collective evolved into a supportive web where members openly and honestly shared their personal narratives and emotions.
Boulware emphasizes the importance of a close group of friends who foster a setting that safeguards transparency, provides unwavering support, and cultivates a sense of belonging. She understands that navigating the challenging times in marriage and parenting is made easier with the assistance of reliable friends.
| Shortform Note Bridge, like many social card games, creates a unique environment for building and strengthening relationships. The game’s emphasis on teamwork and communication naturally encourages players to develop strong social bonds, often leading to deeper conversations and meaningful connections. As players gather around the table, they frequently share personal stories, engaging in one of humanity’s most fundamental activities—storytelling. This exchange of experiences helps individuals make sense of their lives while building empathy and understanding among the group. These social connections often evolve into close friendships that provide crucial emotional support during challenging times. Close friends create safe spaces where individuals feel comfortable expressing their feelings and emotions, helping them process experiences and gain new perspectives. Additionally, observing how friends navigate their own relationships and approach parenting can offer valuable insights and strategies that can be applied to one’s own life situations. |
