What does it mean to have a healthy relationship with sexuality? How can we move from shame to empowerment when it comes to our sexual experiences?
In her book Pleasure Activism, adrienne maree brown explores how sexual autonomy and pleasure can become powerful tools for personal and social transformation. She presents a framework for moving beyond restrictive beliefs about sexuality toward genuine liberation and joy.
Read more to discover practical ways to embrace your authentic desires, heal from past experiences, and participate in creating positive change around sexuality in our culture.
Sexual Autonomy & Pleasure Activism
brown argues that sexual autonomy is fundamental to pleasure activism, with effects that extend beyond the personal to spark broader social change. By approaching sexuality with curiosity and joy rather than shame, she explains, people can reclaim control over their sexual expression, simultaneously challenging systems of oppression and transforming sexuality into a source of liberation. As people model sexual independence and mutual respect, their empowerment inspires others to do the same, inspiring collective change.
(Shortform note: brown suggests that pleasure activism can help society develop a healthier relationship with sexuality, but what does that look like in practice? The World Health Organization (WHO) defines healthy sexuality as taking a positive and respectful approach to both sexuality and relationships, ensuring everyone has access to safe, pleasurable experiences free from coercion, discrimination, and violence. A healthy relationship with sexuality includes embracing your body and desires without excessive shame while taking responsibility for sexual health through STI prevention and regular check-ups.)
We’ll explore how pleasure activism reshapes our relationship to sexuality.
Unlearning Sexual Shame
Many people internalize negative beliefs about sexuality from societal messages, religious teachings, and cultural norms encountered throughout their lives. These internalized beliefs often manifest as shame, guilt, or anxiety around natural sexual feelings and experiences.
(Shortform note: Sexual shame is often rooted in experiences of sexual desires being criticized or condemned, whether through comments from others, religious teachings, or media portrayals. It also results from traumatic sexual experiences met with unsupportive responses, abuse that damages self-worth, and isolation in one’s sexual identity.)
brown argues pleasure activism challenges shame-based narratives by allowing you to explore forms of intimacy that feel genuinely pleasurable to you, regardless of societal norms about sex. For example, masturbation and other forms of sexual self-exploration can help you identify and embrace what feels good.
(Shortform note: To find authentic sources of sexual pressure, it might also help to identify what Emily Nagoski (Come As You Are) calls your sexual “brakes.” Sexual brakes are moments when we mentally withdraw from sexual thoughts or experiences—which can reveal internalized negative messages about sex. These might come from body image concerns, performance pressure, or beliefs about what’s “normal.” Sexual brakes might cause you to feel shame when there’s a mismatch between your authentic desires and societal expectations. By understanding these shame triggers, you can begin to untwine your personal values and desires from external judgments about sexuality.)
Healing Sexual Trauma
Brown argues that pleasure activism can be particularly valuable for trauma survivors because it offers a path to healing through reconnecting with their sexuality. This healing journey begins with small acts of body awareness, such as mindful breathing and gentle movement, and progressively builds toward understanding their desires and setting boundaries when being intimate with a sexual partner. By creating guidelines around consent, communication, and comfort levels, survivors can gradually rediscover their capacity for joy, trust, and intimacy at their own pace.
(Shortform note: If you’re the partner of a trauma survivor, it’s important to be patient as healing is often not a linear process. Practice reading both verbal and non-verbal cues during intimate moments. Honor specific boundaries around touch and environments, as these help your partner feel safe and in control. And always check for consent if you’re unsure of your partner’s comfort level. It can also be helpful to educate yourself about the research around trauma responses, but remember that your partner’s experience is unique and may not align with what you expect.)
Reframing Sex Work
Pleasure activism reframes sex work as an issue of fundamental rights and bodily autonomy. Brown cites research by Chanelle Gallant, which demonstrates how society expects women to provide sexual and emotional care without compensation across many contexts, from romantic relationships to household duties. brown argues that recognizing sex work as legitimate labor acknowledges the inherent value of sexual and emotional labor and that sex workers should be guaranteed fair compensation, more control over their workplace conditions, and the right to establish boundaries.
(Shortform note: While Gallant, author of Not Your Rescue Project, contends that recognizing sex work as legitimate work can empower women by valuing their labor and providing them with workplace rights, such as fair pay, other feminist authors such as Andrea Dworkin argue that sex work inherently perpetuates the commodification and exploitation of women’s bodies. As such, critics argue that normalizing sex work reinforces patriarchal views and societal structures that objectify and marginalize women. They contend that framing sex work as a choice often overlooks the impact of economic necessity or coercion, which can severely limit genuine sexual autonomy.)
