This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "Set Boundaries, Find Peace" by Nedra Glover Tawwab. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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Are you looking for Set Boundaries, Find Peace quotes by Nedra Glover Tawwab? What are some of the most noteworthy passages worth revisiting?
In Set Boundaries, Find Peace, Nedra Glover Tawwab argues that in order to maintain healthy relationships, you need to understand, set, and reinforce healthy boundaries in your relationships. Tawwab provides examples of healthy and unhealthy boundaries and offers insight into common boundary issues.
Keep reading for Set Boundaries, Find Peace quotes by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
In her book Set Boundaries, Find Peace, therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab details how you can transform your relationships by learning to set healthy boundaries. Tawwab explains where your boundaries come from and offers strategies for identifying and communicating your boundaries in a variety of situations.
The following Set Boundaries, Find Peace quotes highlight some of the key ideas.
“The ability to say no to yourself is a gift. If you can resist your urges, change your habits, and say yes to only what you deem truly meaningful, you’ll be practicing healthy self-boundaries. It’s your responsibility to care for yourself without excuses.”
Setting boundaries with yourself involves exercising the discipline to be able to say no to yourself. For example, imagine trying to finish a key work assignment while your family group chat is in the middle of a heated argument. By setting a boundary with yourself to avoid looking at your phone until your assignment is finished, you’ll be able to work free from distractions.
“Friends are your chosen family, and these relationships should bring ease, comfort, support, and fun to your life—not excess drama.”
According to Tawwab, a common pattern in friendships is that one person ends up providing more emotional support than they’re comfortable with. Naturally, people complain to their friends about relationships, family, and work, but sometimes, friends can get carried away and unload too many emotions on one another.
If a friend is asking for more support than you can give, it’s best for the relationship if you speak up immediately. While setting boundaries with friends can lead to feelings of guilt, in the long run, the relationship will be better off for it. By speaking up and setting boundaries, you enable the other person to be a better friend to you.
“The hardest thing about implementing boundaries is accepting that some people won’t like, understand, or agree with yours. Once you grow beyond pleasing others, setting your standards becomes easier. Not being liked by everyone is a small consequence when you consider the overall reward of healthier relationships.”
A common hurdle for setting boundaries with people is letting small infractions slide to avoid upsetting the people you love. While it’s natural to want to spare your loved ones’ feelings, you can damage relationships by refusing to speak up. If you don’t speak up about behaviors that make you uncomfortable, others will naturally believe you’re okay with those behaviors and will continue unknowingly upsetting you.
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Here's what you'll find in our full Set Boundaries, Find Peace summary:
- How to transform the relationships in your life with boundaries
- Why people struggle to reinforce their boundaries
- A step-by-step guide for identifying and communicating your boundaries
