Why do we create false explanations for our feelings and behaviors? What makes us cling to these made-up reasons even when they don’t serve us well?
In You Are Not So Smart, David McRaney explores the fascinating phenomenon of self-justification and its impact on our daily lives. He reveals how we unconsciously fabricate explanations for everything, from our food preferences to our mood swings.
Keep reading to discover why these mental shortcuts might hold you back from authentic self-discovery and personal growth.
Self-Justification
According to McRaney, we commonly make up reasons to justify our actions, thoughts, and feelings. This self-justification can be seen in psychological phenomena such as confabulation, where we’re ignorant of the fact we’re misremembering. For example, you might believe you don’t like ice cream because you have a false memory of it making you feel sick when you were a kid. It’s also common with introspection, the illusion that we have insight into the origins of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. For example, you might think you feel irritable today because your favorite shirt wasn’t clean this morning, but the truth is that you just woke up in a bad mood.
In these examples, neither explanation is the definite root cause of its respective outcome, but you choose to believe it is to justify aspects of your reality (your food preferences and foul mood).
(Shortform note: Similar to our tendency to make up evidence, our urge to self-justify is also likely caused by cognitive dissonance—but for a different reason. Cognitive dissonance causes us to alter our perceptions to match our beliefs. However, it can also cause us to alter our beliefs to justify our experiences. We want to feel as though our actions, thoughts, and feelings are based on logic or evidence; however, this isn’t always the case. This contradiction makes us uncomfortable; therefore, we create or alter beliefs so that our reality makes sense. For example, you don’t know why you don’t like ice cream or have a foul mood, so you make up a reason for these realities to be valid.)
While self-justification doesn’t seem harmful, McRaney explains that it’s detrimental to your self-perception and growth. When you’re constantly making up mostly false justifications for your characteristics, preferences, feelings, and so on, you create a false narrative of who you are and become detached from your true identity. Further, you may close yourself off to opportunities for growth and self-development. For example, you tell yourself you’re irritable because your favorite shirt wasn’t clean, so you use this as an excuse to continue your bad attitude rather than trying to cheer up. Or, you tell yourself you hate ice cream because you hated it as a kid—but maybe you would enjoy it if you tried it today.
(Shortform note: We tend to engage in self-justification when we experience cognitive dissonance—a mismatch between our beliefs and actions. Just as McRaney does, experts note that cognitive dissonance can hinder growth; however, recognizing your cognitive dissonance can also spark growth. To grow from cognitive dissonance, experts recommend changing either your beliefs or your actions. For example, instead of continuing to tell yourself you’re open and experimental, admit that you can sometimes be stubborn when you don’t want to try new things (such as ice cream). Or, if you still want to believe you’re an open-minded person, push yourself to try the things you’re resistant to.)
