This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "You Are A Badass" by Jen Sincero. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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Do you need to express more self-love? Do you resort to negative thoughts, self-deprecating humor, and have a bad habit of comparing yourself to others?
When we truly believe in ourselves and love ourselves, we free ourselves to live rich, full, authentic lives. Here are the ten ways to gain more self-love.
Continue reading to learn about the ten ways to gain more self-love.
Have More Self-Love
How do we gain more self-love and rid ourselves of guilt, self-doubt and loathing to be and have everything we desire? There are 10 ways.
1. Appreciate How Special You Are
Understand that there will never be anyone else exactly like you. Nobody In the world will use their gifts as you can. You are the only you.
2. Use Affirmations
Affirmations are a powerful tool to rewire your brain and train it to think differently. Figure out which affirmations you need to hear most and repeat them in your head; put them on Post-It notes all around you, and write them down 10 times every morning and 10 times every night. Some examples include:
- “I deserve more self-love every day.”
- “My heart is open to love.”
- “I am beautiful and smart.”
If these don’t fit, write your own affirmations. The more emotion you feel, the better.
3. Do What You Love
People who make enjoying their lives a priority are the ones truly enjoying their lives. Look at your life and see where you’re letting yourself down. Do you miss live music? Dancing? Hanging with friends? Be proactive about creating a life you love instead of living a life you think you’re stuck with. Start putting your needs on the priority list. You’re not selfish for taking care of yourself, just happier!
4. Replace Negative Thoughts
When we become aware of our negative thought patterns we can begin to change them. For example, what comes to mind when you look in the mirror? When you make a mistake? When you get dumped? You likely spew negative thoughts at yourself. “You’re hideous, dumb, unworthy.” Consciously replace negative thoughts about yourself with more self-love. “You’re beautiful.” “You made a mistake, now let’s move on.”
5. Stop Self-Deprecating Humor
Laughing at yourself is one thing — we all need to have a sense of humor about ourselves. But constant self-flagellation is another. You’re not only convincing other people you’re a loser, you are convincing yourself. What you tell yourself on a daily basis is powerful, so if you’re constantly putting yourself down, you are harming yourself. And it’s not funny.
6. Show More Self-Love to Your Body
We need our bodies more than they need us. The better our bodies feel, the happier and more productive we are. Get proper nutrition, exercise and rest.
7. Accept Compliments
Instead of deflecting compliments (“This old ratty thing?”) accept them graciously.
8. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparison takes the fun out of life. Someone else’s uniqueness is no better than your own. What others do is none of your business. Enjoy what you’re creating. You are more than enough.
9. Forgive Yourself
Everyone screws up and will screw up again. You are no exception and you are not alone. But dragging around guilt and self-recrimination is pointless, unhealthy and boring. Think of a specific instance you feel badly about. Call it up and feel it in your mind and body. Tell yourself something like, “Holding on to this is hurting me and stopping me from living my life to the fullest. I deserve a happy life and will let this go.” Repeat this until you feel free and light. Repeat this process as long as it takes.
10. Love Yourself
Show yourself more self-love. You deserve it.
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- How to go from wanting to change your life to deciding to do it
- How to stop your self-sabotaging thoughts
- How to tap into Source Energy for mental and spiritual strength
