This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man" by Steve Harvey. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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Are you meeting your boyfriend’s family for the first time? How do you manage your relationship with his family after meeting them?
In his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve Harvey provides advice on what to expect and how to present yourself when meeting your boyfriend’s family. Harvey also discusses tips on navigating his family as your relationship progresses.
Keep reading for Steve Harvey’s advice on meeting your boyfriend’s family.
His Family Is Part of the Package
At some point, you are going to have to meet your boyfriend’s family, and if you are in it for the long haul, they will become your family, too. Make a good first impression and manage your relationship with his family positively to ensure your own is not negatively affected.
The following tips can help you when meeting your boyfriend’s family:
1. Get on the same page before you meet the family.
You need to be absolutely positive that you and your man have the same intentions for your relationship before you walk into a room of his relatives. There’s nothing worse than finding out your man is not relationship material from his relatives, and you don’t want to be speechless if someone tries to degrade what you and your man share. If you are introduced as a friend or by your name, call a taxi because you now know what that means about how he feels.
2. Find out the family dynamics before you go.
Ask your man who will be there and what his relationship is like with them. Ask to hear family stories to gain some background, and do your best to remember who’s who when you show up. It will go a long way if you already know that Linda is Aunt Linda who taught him how to ride a bike when he was 10.
3. Don’t wear your date-night attire.
You don’t have to go overboard with the conservative clothes, but you should look respectable and more modest than you do when it’s just you two.
4. Be sincere.
Your man thinks you’re wonderful. He wouldn’t be introducing you to the most important people in his life if he didn’t. You don’t have to try to fit in or be someone you’re not. Be confident in yourself, and they will see what he sees.
Moving Forward With Family
There’s always the chance that some members of his family just won’t like you. And then there are times when family members like you too much. His mother might want to be your new best friend, or his brother may have a wandering eye. Your relationship with his family can be bumpy at times, so the following tips can help you navigate tense situations successfully.
1. Let your man know when something isn’t right.
If you have a problem with one of his family members, be honest with him about it right away. The longer you wait, the more uncomfortable you will be. However, if someone is acting inappropriately, such as an uncle who makes suggestive comments, you have every right to ask them to stop.
2. Don’t be afraid to say “enough is enough.”
If members of his family are still being rude or inappropriate with you after he’s talked to them about it, you are in the clear to take matters into your own hands. Politely tell the culprits that you love your man but will not put up with their behavior. You may ruffle more feathers, but they’ll likely be impressed that you’re willing to stand up for yourself.
3. Set boundaries for family time.
His family might be great, but you’re not dating his family. Set limits on how long you will be at certain functions, how many times a month you’ll attend family gatherings, and how long vacations with family will be. Knowing there’s an end can ease the stress of family time, and your sanity and relationship will thank you.
4. Find quality time for the main players.
Ask his mother to lunch, or take his sister shopping. One-on-one interactions are less overwhelming than everybody at once, and you can both relax and really get to know each other. And if someone hasn’t warmed up to you yet, a private interaction may help them let their guard down a little.
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Here's what you'll find in our full Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man summary :
- How to navigate the adult dating scene
- What men need, how they think, and how they behave when it comes to relationships
- How women can gain an advantage and find the right man to fulfill their desires
