What makes the difference between a successful negotiation and a failed one? How can you gain the upper hand while making your counterpart feel in control?
Jim Camp’s negotiation techniques, outlined in his book Start With No, offer a fresh perspective on deal-making. His approach includes preparation, emotional control, and understanding your counterpart’s needs rather than pushing for quick agreements.
Keep reading to discover seven powerful techniques that will transform your negotiation skills and help you secure better deals.
Jim Camp’s Negotiation Techniques
In his book, Camp contends that learning to say “no” can help you avoid mediocre deals and that asking your counterpart to say “no” can paradoxically give you the upper hand. Then he discusses specific practices, including effective preparation, keeping your emotions under control, and highlighting your counterpart’s needs. Let’s get into the details of Jim Camp’s negotiation techniques.
Technique #1: Define the Ultimate Purpose of Your Negotiation
Camp writes that to set yourself up for success, you must identify the purpose of your negotiation. A clear purpose provides you with direction, ensuring the decisions you make are focused and valuable. It also safeguards you from agreeing to a deal that you don’t actually want. He recommends you make it clear and concise, and that you write it down so you can reference it regularly.
When crafting your purpose, Camp suggests you take the following steps.
1. Frame your goal to show how it will benefit the other party. For example, when negotiating a job offer, don’t make it your purpose to “secure a higher-paying job that advances my career.” A more effective purpose would be to “help the company see how my skills and experiences match their organization’s objectives and the requirements of the open position.”
2. Focus on behavior, not results. The ultimate outcome of the negotiation is out of your control. So, instead of focusing your efforts on getting a specific outcome, concentrate on your actions and behaviors during the negotiation. Set process-oriented goals, such as inviting your counterpart to say “no” instead of result-oriented goals, such as getting a specific deal. Camp contends that if you focus on your behavior, the results you want will naturally follow.
Technique #2: Create an Agenda for Every Step of the Negotiation
Camp suggests you prepare for your negotiation by creating agendas—lists of items you want to discuss with your counterpart—for each stage of the negotiation. A well-prepared agenda ensures you communicate efficiently, address all essential points, and achieve what you set out to achieve.
According to Camp, your agenda should include some or all of the following items.
Problems: Everything you or your adversary would consider to be challenges for the negotiation. Negotiators are often reluctant to bring up problems—such as a lack of experience for a job position or budget limitations for a project—because they fear these issues could put the deal at risk. However, addressing these issues head-on makes you appear more effective and helps both parties feel more comfortable.
Goals: What you want to achieve at this point in the negotiation. You can think of your goal as the decision you need your negotiation partner to make.Future Course: What the next step of the negotiation will be. This clears up ambiguity about what will happen next and makes the negotiation process more efficient.
Technique #3: Identify the Real Decision-Makers
When preparing for your negotiation, Camp recommends you identify who has the true decision-making power. Sometimes, when negotiating with big organizations, you may not be working with the person who has the real authority—instead, you’ll find yourself working with lower-level employees, people Camp refers to as “blockers.”
(Shortform note: In Never Split the Difference, Voss suggests you pay attention to the pronouns your negotiation partner uses to determine whether they’re decision-makers or blockers. Decision-makers are more likely to use “we” and “us” rather than first-person pronouns—such as “I” and “me.” This is because decision-makers don’t want to tie themselves down to a decision yet, so they deflect by implying there are other stakeholders to consult with. Therefore, if your counterpart uses first-person singular pronouns, it could be a sign that they’re a blocker, not a decision maker.)
To avoid getting stuck negotiating with gatekeepers, Camp suggests that when setting up your negotiation, you try to contact the person with the highest authority first. By doing this, you increase your chances of connecting with the real decision maker right away. But if you get directed down to a gatekeeper, be respectful to them. They might not be able to make the big decisions, but they can still introduce you to the person who can. If you handle the situation correctly, these gatekeepers can transform from roadblocks into helpful guides, easing the process of dealing with big organizations.
(Shortform note: If you’re still unable to get around gatekeepers despite your best efforts, consider doing the opposite of your typical working routine. In Tools of Titans, Tim Ferriss recommends inverting your approach when you’re not getting the performance you want. For instance, when he was a salesman, he called outside of the typical 9 to 5 work hours and was able to bypass assistants and reach executives because, unlike their assistants, they were still working outside normal business hours.)
Technique #4: Let Go of Expectations and Assumptions
To overcome emotions, which can cause you to make poor decisions during a negotiation, Camp suggests you clear your mind of all expectations and assumptions. Expectations and assumptions can impede your ability to accurately assess a situation.
Eliminate Expectations
Camp explains that both positive and negative expectations can undermine your negotiation. Skilled negotiators can use your positive expectations against you by making overstated promises that get you excited and make you feel needy. This can cloud your judgment and cause you to overlook potential pitfalls. Similarly, negative expectations can make you give up on a negotiation or settle for less.
To eliminate expectations, Camp recommends you train yourself to recognize when you have them. If you feel yourself affected by either negative or positive expectations, take a short break from the negotiation to calm your emotions.
(Shortform note: Although Camp recommends you let go of expectations entirely, it may help you to have positive expectations about your negotiating ability, even if you quell your expectations about the outcome. This is due to what David Robson calls “the expectation effect” in his book of the same name. Robson argues that what you expect to be or do becomes your reality because expectations cause your brain to produce physiological changes throughout your body. Thus, how you expect to perform during a negotiation can affect how you actually perform during it.)
Eliminate Assumptions
While expectations can hold you back while negotiating, Camp writes that assumptions—particularly incorrect ones—can be even more dangerous. They cause you to misunderstand people’s intentions and draw flawed conclusions, resulting in missed opportunities and less-than-ideal outcomes. For example, if in a job interview, you assume that your potential employer is more interested in your years of experience than the particular skills you have, you may spend too much time trying to justify your lack of experience instead of promoting your skill set during the interview.
(Shortform note: Confirmation bias can make it hard for you to recognize that your assumptions are incorrect. In Decisive, Dan and Chip Heath explain that confirmation bias causes you to only pay attention to information that matches your existing beliefs and ignore information that doesn’t. As a result, you’ll look for evidence that strengthens your assumption, even if it’s ultimately incorrect. For example, if you believe the hiring manager is more concerned about your experience, you might perceive their questions about a past work experience as evidence for that assumption, even though they’re really interested in how you handled the situation. To overcome this bias, deliberately look for information that contradicts your assumption.)
To eliminate assumptions, Camp recommends you do extensive research and assume nothing until you can verify it with evidence. The more you know, the less you assume. He also recommends that you take notes during the negotiation. Taking notes can keep biased thoughts away and help you listen better.
(Shortform note: In The Culture Map, Erin Meyer writes that when you’re communicating with people from high-context cultures such as Japan, where communication requires not only taking words at face value but also reading between the lines, you should explain why you’re taking notes. Meyers says people in these high-context cultures may interpret your note-taking as a sign you distrust them, so you should reassure them that it’s normal in your culture.)
Technique #5: Focus on Your Counterpart’s Needs
According to Camp, your bargaining power increases significantly when you focus on the needs and situations of the other party. Making the negotiation about the other party’s needs reminds them of how much they need the deal. And, the more needy someone feels, the more they’re willing to compromise and agree to terms that are beneficial for you. Therefore, Camp suggests you make everything in the negotiation about them—instead of thinking about what you want to gain, focus on what the other party could potentially lose without a deal.
For example, imagine you’re at a fruit market to buy ingredients for a dish you’re making at the last minute for an important family gathering. Instead of thinking about how much you need those ingredients, you might focus on the vendors’ need to clear their stock. This way, you have more leverage to negotiate—perhaps landing a bulk purchase deal or getting a discount for older produce.
(Shortform note: Other experts build on Camp’s advice to focus on the other party’s needs and situation, adding that you should specifically try to identify their walk-away alternative—the best option they have if they don’t reach a deal with you. To determine their walk-away alternative, consider what other options they might have to meet their needs without you. By identifying this alternative, you can better gauge how much they truly need the deal and adjust your strategy accordingly—for instance, by highlighting the drawbacks of the alternative. The more unappealing their alternative is, the more likely it is they’ll accept the terms you propose.)
To shift the focus of the negotiation to your counterpart’s needs, Camp recommends two strategies: asking questions and moderating their emotions.
Technique #6: Ask Questions
Camp writes that, during a negotiation, you should ask a lot of questions. Asking questions opens doorways to your adversary’s world, allowing you to understand the perspective from which they make decisions. When you understand the other party’s perspective, you can guide them toward making rational decisions that are favorable to you.
Camp adds that questions also encourage the other party to do most of the speaking. This helps you discover helpful information without accidentally revealing information that gives them an advantage.
You can also use questions to fuel the other party’s sense of neediness by asking them to imagine what they stand to lose without a deal. For example, if you’re offering a home security system, you could ask, “How many precious family heirlooms can you afford to lose in a break-in?”
How to Ask Good Questions
Camp suggests you avoid verb-led questions, such as “Does this proposal sound good?” as these questions typically solicit either a “yes” or “no” answer and limit the amount of information the other party shares with you. Instead, opt for questions that begin with “who,” “what,” “when,” “where,” “why,” how,” and “which.” For instance, a question such as “What steps can we take to make this proposal sound better for you?” is comforting, non-aggressive, and encourages information sharing.
For maximum effect, keep your questions simple and concise—complex questions may confuse your adversary and cause the negotiation to lose focus. Camp also suggests you ask one question at a time and truly listen to the response rather than prepare your retort or try to guide the answer in your favor.
Camp suggests four strategies for negotiating with questions.
1. Put your counterpart at ease. Discomfort makes people defensive and less open to what you’re saying, which makes it harder to negotiate with them. To put people at ease, maintain non-threatening body language (such as leaning back in your chair) and preface your questions with supportive statements—for instance, “That’s a good point.” You can also help the other party feel comfortable by presenting yourself as less than perfect. Show a bit of struggle or share a laugh about a harmless blunder—for instance, you could admit that you’re slightly late because you struggled to park your car in a tight space.
2. Answer with questions. Respond to the other party’s questions with your own questions. For example, you might redirect a question by saying: “That’s a really important point. How do you feel about that?” This technique allows you to control the negotiation, prevent yourself from leaking information, and gather more insight about your counterpart.
3. Keep the other party talking. Similarly, respond to implied questions and provocative assertions with statements that encourage the other party to share more information. For example, if the other party says, “That’s a high price for that piece of software,” instead of explaining why the price is justified, you could say, “I’d like to understand why you think so.” By giving them an opportunity to express more details, you gain a deeper understanding of their needs and their position.
4. Triple check. Stick with a question until you receive the answer at least three times. This gives your opponent many chances to reexamine their decision. They can verify if they were right, justify their choice, or change their mind. Instead of pushing them into a corner, this approach lets them reflect on their stance and makes them feel in control.
Technique #7: Moderate Your Counterpart’s Emotions
Inviting “no” is not enough to keep your counterpart’s emotions in check. As you highlight your counterpart’s needs, you must focus on keeping the negotiation unemotional. Camp argues that negotiations are more successful when both parties are calm—people make clearer decisions and secure deals that last.
If your counterpart is feeling too negative about the negotiation, empathize with their situation to soften their negative emotions. For example, you might say, “I understand your frustration and would feel the same if I were you. However, let’s explore some possible solutions together.”
On the other hand, if your counterpart is overly positive, moderate their excitement with a word of caution. For example, you might say, “Before we finalize, are you absolutely certain that this fully aligns with your goals?”
(Shortform note: In Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets, Andy Stanley agrees with Camp, arguing that good decisions are made thoughtfully and purposefully, which can be hard to do when we’re influenced by our emotions. He writes that the emotions we feel while making the decision aren’t necessarily the same as the emotions we’ll feel later. To guard against this decision-making trap, he recommends asking yourself five questions when making a decision, including “How does this fit into my story?” This helps you think about the future and how your decision aligns with your vision for it. You could even ask your counterpart these questions to help them make decisions more calmly and thoughtfully.)
