Why does masking negatively affect mental health? What steps can help Autistic individuals be their true selves?
Living authentically as an Autistic person involves a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. In Unmasking Autism, Devon Price outlines a comprehensive approach to dropping the mask of neurotypicality and embracing your real self.
Keep reading to learn how to unmask Autism through a five-step process that can lead to reduced stress and a stronger sense of identity.
How to Unmask Autism
Price explains that unmasking is a process in which Autistic individuals drop the pretense of neurotypicality and express themselves more authentically. It’s a gradual process of self-acceptance and learning to trust their feelings and instincts. In his book, he explains how to unmask Autism with a five-step process.
Price acknowledges that unmasking can be difficult and may sometimes lead to negative reactions from others. It may involve letting go of certain relationships or opportunities that are incompatible with your true self. However, he argues that the benefits of living more authentically—reduced stress, improved mental health, and a stronger sense of self—outweigh the potential drawbacks.
Price provides a step-by-step guide for how to take off the mask: 1) Recognize that you’re Autistic, 2) reevaluate your understanding of Autism, 3) embrace your special interests, 4) embody your principles, and 5) give yourself grace as you reflect on your life.
Step 1: Recognize That You’re Autistic
Price explains that the first step to unmasking is to recognize that you’re Autistic. This recognition can lead to a reconceptualization of your self-view and the life you’ve lived so far. Understand that you’re not defective, but rather that you’ve been living with a disability that hasn’t been properly accommodated by the people and world around you. This will help you detach from harmful beliefs about yourself, like that you’re unintelligent or unmotivated, and instead acknowledge that the flaws you’ve long been accused of having are simply traits of your neurodivergence.
(Shortform note: Price doesn’t explicitly explain how to recognize that you’re Autistic, but you can do so either by getting an official diagnosis or through self-determination. Discovering that you’re Autistic can elicit a lot of emotions, including fear of not being able to live a “normal” life, disgust or shame due to internalized ableism, or regret about how much you struggled as a result of not knowing you were Autistic sooner. However, it can also come with a sense of relief, as you finally have an explanation for why you’ve felt different your whole life and can find community with others who share your experiences. Once you come to terms with the diagnosis, you may feel a sense of acceptance that will help you in later stages of unmasking.)
Step 2: Reevaluate Your Understanding of Autism
The process of unmasking involves questioning societal beliefs about Autism and disability, as well as examining personal experiences through a new lens. Price explains that many people from marginalized groups experience self-stigma, meaning they internalize negative beliefs about their group. This can result in lowered self-esteem and a reluctance to ask for support. To fight this stigma and better recognize your strengths, consider the stereotypes about Autism and disability that you’ve been judged by and re-label them as positive, rather than negative, traits. For example, Autistic people are often told they’re too sensitive, but you can instead think of this as being empathetic and caring.
(Shortform note: You may also find it helpful to reevaluate your understanding of the model of Autism entirely. Some researchers argue that the depiction of Autism as a linear spectrum fails to represent the unique and varied experiences of all Autistic people and reduces them to value judgments like “severe” or “mild.” As an alternative to the spectrum model, some advocate the “wheel” or “pie chart” model, which can more accurately represent how Autistic traits can affect someone to different degrees, highlighting strengths while acknowledging challenges.)
Step 3: Embrace Special Interests
Price emphasizes the importance of embracing your special interests as an Autistic person. Autistic people are often discouraged from their special interests because their passion can make allistic people uncomfortable, but research shows that special interests are highly beneficial to Autistic people: They improve well-being and life satisfaction, as well as social, emotional, and even motor skills. Consequently, prohibiting or discouraging Autistic people—especially children—from pursuing their special interests can harm their mental health.
Reflect on the special interests you’ve had throughout your life, and make time to immerse yourself in them. This will help you appreciate your Autistic brain and give you more energy to continue the difficult process of unmasking.
(Shortform note: The joy Autistic people take in their special interests is similar to the state of flow in positive psychology. In Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explains that flow is a state of complete immersion in an activity, characterized by focused concentration, loss of self-consciousness, and intrinsic reward. Engaging with their special interests often puts Autistic people into a flow state, but anyone can experience flow regardless of their neurotype, and it can provide similar benefits: improved life satisfaction and skills in various areas. If you’re allistic and struggling to grasp the appeal of special interests, consider a time when you’ve felt a state of flow, and then imagine feeling that every time you engage with a certain activity or topic.)
Step 4: Embody Your Principles
Price explains that a lifetime of masking can cause you to center your life and behavior around meeting others’ expectations instead of focusing on what’s important to you. Once you decide to unmask, you may find yourself confused as to what to do and how to behave. Think about important moments in your life and why they were meaningful to you, and then identify what ideals or principles guided you in those moments. This will help you identify your principles, which you can use to guide your actions and thoughts in the future rather than continuing to devote your energy to pleasing or gaining the approval of others.
(Shortform note: Some experts suggest that Autistic people experience identity differently than allistic people: Namely, while allistic people’s identities tend to be rooted in the social roles they occupy (such as their gender, race, religion, parental status, or career), Autistic people tend to have “experientially-constructed identities,” meaning they’re based in the Autistic person’s values, experiences, and interests. This theory could help explain why this step is so essential to unmasking—when you mask, you might take on a social identity because it’s expected, but when you start to pull off the mask you find that this identity doesn’t suit you. Identifying your principles and aligning with them will help you better understand who you are.)
Step 5: Give Yourself Grace
Finally, Price recommends that as you reflect on your life as a masking Autistic, do so with grace, and thank yourself for making it through the struggles you’ve faced. And while it may be hard, appreciate your Autism for the positive ways it’s affected you. Many people feel a sense of regret or longing when they think about what their life would have been like if they’d been diagnosed earlier or if they’d never been forced to mask. However, it’s important to recognize that these difficulties were the result of an unaccommodating world, not you or your Autism.
(Shortform note: This stage of extending yourself grace and moving past regret may be particularly difficult because Autistic people are more prone to perseverative cognition, or a tendency to engage in repetitive thinking patterns like rumination. Rumination consumes cognitive energy and is strongly linked to depression. Removing self-blame and thinking about the positives can help you avoid this tendency and make unmasking less painful and more rewarding.)
Exercise: Begin Your Unmasking Journey
Price presents a five-step process for unmasking, along with strategies for self-accommodation and seeking community. Let’s explore which aspects of masking affect you most and identify steps you can take toward unmasking.
- Think about the different ways Price describes that Autistic people mask their traits (like people-pleasing, suppressing stims, or forcing eye contact). Which of these masking behaviors do you recognize in yourself? How have they affected your daily life?
- Consider Price’s five steps for unmasking (recognize you’re Autistic, reevaluate your understanding of Autism, embrace special interests, embody your principles, and give yourself grace). Which step do you think will be most challenging for you, and why?
- Reflect on your special interests throughout your life. Which ones have brought you the most joy? How might you make more time to engage with them as part of your unmasking journey?
- Consider the importance of community in unmasking. What’s one step you can take to connect with other Autistic people or supportive individuals who will encourage your authentic self?
