Would you like to live with purpose and energy? How can you create a life that’s both meaningful and vibrant?
Jodi Wellman’s approach to living a full life in her book You Only Die Once combines practical strategies for increasing your daily energy with deeper insights about creating lasting purpose. Her framework offers a comprehensive path to a more enriched existence.
Keep reading to discover how to live a full life—starting today.
How to Live a Full Life
You may feel like your life is missing some vitality and you could use a little more joie de vivre. Perhaps your life lacks meaning and you’re looking for some greater purpose in how you spend your time. We’ll discuss Wellman’s suggestions for how to live a full life.
#1: Get Ahead of Regrets
Wellman advocates for a regret-free life. She points out that while death is inevitable, the regrets we carry are often the result of choices we make or fail to make. She encourages a reframing of regrets, viewing them not as sources of sadness or disappointment but as powerful drivers for growth and change.
(Shortform note: The pursuit of a completely regret-free life, while appealing, might overlook regret’s important role in human development. Research by psychologist Neal Roese suggests that regret is fundamentally adaptive, aiding us in learning from mistakes and refining our decision-making processes. In fact, the absence of regret could indicate either unrealistic perfection in decision-making or, more concerningly, a lack of sufficient self-reflection. Emotions like regret are integral to moral development and ethical reasoning, serving as internal guides that help us navigate complex choices and understand their consequences.)
Wellman suggests that rather than accumulating regrets by the end of your life, you should identify potential regrets now by creating a list of “regrets-in-the-making.” Consider what you don’t want to regret on your deathbed. Would you regret not expressing something important to a loved one, not starting a business, or not taking that trip to New Zealand? Wellman notes that regrets about actions we didn’t take are often harder to bear than those about actions we did.
(Shortform note: In The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware highlights the most common end-of-life regrets she witnessed, which include not living authentically, working too much, failing to express feelings, losing touch with friends, and not allowing oneself to be happier. Her observations support Wellman’s argument that many deathbed regrets arise from missed opportunities rather than actions taken.)
#2: Increase Vitality
A reminder that Wellman defines vitality as a positive sense of aliveness and energy that fuels your zest for life, enabling you to fully engage with the world and live a life filled with joy, excitement, and novelty.
Break Habits That Dull Vitality
Wellman argues that habits can undermine vitality by keeping us on autopilot. While they provide structure and comfort, habits can dull life’s vibrancy, leading to boredom and a lack of fulfillment. To combat this, Wellman advises reassessing and adjusting habits that don’t benefit you, highlighting excessive social media and screen time as major culprits.
Wellman also warns that prioritizing work and financial gain at the expense of personal time and leisure can lead to burnout and a diminished quality of life. Skimping on vacation, for instance, not only robs you of rejuvenation but statistically, as Wellman points out, shortens your lifespan.
Strategies to Increase Vitality
Wellman offers several strategies to inject novelty into your life in order to help revive your sense of wonder and engagement with the world.
1) Break away from your routine and add a little spontaneity to your life. Leaning into your curiosity is one way to keep life new and exciting. When you’re always on the lookout for new information or things to learn, the world can’t help but feel fresh. Wellman emphasizes that adding a touch of novelty doesn’t require grand changes; even minor shifts, like reading a book in an unfamiliar genre or trying a new recipe, can refresh your perspective.
2) Get moving. Wellman says that incorporating more movement into your daily life—whether through walking, dancing, or spontaneous physical activity—can significantly enhance your sense of aliveness.
3) Prioritize leisure and play by joining a club, pursuing hobbies, or simply setting aside time to relax and enjoy life. This invites relaxation and joy into your daily routine. One of Wellman’s favorite strategies for incorporating playfulness is to take time off to celebrate random days, such as half-birthdays, the summer and winter solstices, or even National Talk Like a Pirate Day. These occasions offer a fun excuse to unwind and embrace a bit of silliness.
4) Surround yourself with the right people. Wellman recommends finding a role model who inspires you to try new things. Spend more time with people who ask good questions or make you laugh, and less time with the people who leave you drained.
#3: Enhance Meaning
According to Wellman, meaning is what provides our lives with depth and significance. She argues that it’s the necessary balance to a life filled solely with pleasure (or vitality). It offers a sense of direction and purpose and helps us recognize that our lives are inherently valuable and connected with something larger than ourselves.
Wellman emphasizes that research consistently highlights the importance of having meaning in life. A sense of meaning improves well-being, life satisfaction, mental and physical health, resilience, and self-esteem, while its absence is linked to poor well-being and higher risk of depression. Notably, those with a strong sense of purpose also typically have a more accepting view of death and less existential dread.
Strategies to Enhance Meaning
Wellman suggests ways to enhance meaning in your life.
1) Reflect on your impact. Wellman explains that meaning emerges from connecting actions to their broader outcomes, whether through work or personal relationships. Even small daily tasks create ripples beyond one’s immediate environment, contributing to the larger world.
One way to deepen impact is by giving back to others. Wellman suggests that putting aside self-interest to support others brings meaning to life. Engaging in volunteering and random acts of kindness not only boosts personal well-being but also strengthens community bonds. Incorporating small acts of generosity into daily routines can help you cultivate a sense of purpose and connection.
2) Be a part of a community. Wellman highlights that feeling like we’re part of a community reassures us that we are valued. She thus recommends fostering connections that affirm your place in the world and nurture a positive sense of belonging.
Wellman says you might find this community, or sense of belonging, in a spiritual practice. For some, spirituality, whether through organized religion or a personal connection to a larger existence, can be a profound source of meaning. Wellman notes that this connection can provide coherence and comfort, leading to a deeper understanding of your purpose. If you don’t have a spiritual practice, consider exploring faith traditions or other spiritual practices that resonate with you.
3) Create a legacy. Wellman describes this as an enduring contribution that extends beyond your lifetime and that will benefit future generations. This might be art or music you create, a business you start, or simply the work of being a good parent or mentor. Think about the impact you want to leave on the world and how you can actively work toward that legacy.
4) Embrace suffering. Wellman explains that pain and struggle are often deeply connected to meaning because they often serve as catalysts for growth and self-discovery. Facing challenges and navigating suffering push you beyond your limits, build resilience, and help clarify your priorities, molding you into a more authentic version of yourself.
#4: Start Small, Start Now
Wellman advises against trying to overhaul your life all at once, as this can lead to overwhelm and burnout. Instead, she recommends making incremental changes that are sustainable and meaningful. Starting small involves identifying one thing you can do to either expand your life with vitality or deepen it with meaning. Whether it’s trying a new hobby, reconnecting with an old friend, or prioritizing self-care, these small steps accumulate over time, leading to substantial transformation.
(Shortform note: Similarly, in Just One Thing, Michael Mosley highlights the power of making small, incremental changes to enhance well-being. He argues that focusing on one manageable change at a time can bring significant health benefits without causing overwhelm. Mosley advocates integrating simple practices—like short bursts of physical activity, mindful breathing, or dietary adjustments—to gradually transform habits and improve your quality of life.)
Ultimately, Wellman insists that you don’t need to wait for the “perfect” moment to start living a life that aligns with your deepest values and desires. Instead, harness the motivation of your inevitable death (which is closer today than it was yesterday), and implement small changes that propel you toward a life rich with meaning and vitality.
(Shortform note: Though there is no “perfect” moment to make meaningful changes, author Daniel Pink says that the right timing can support any changes you make. In When, he suggests leveraging temporal landmarks—moments that signify a transition between phases—as opportunities to start fresh. These landmarks, such as the start of a new year, a birthday, or even a Monday, can provide fresh energy and optimism. Pink identifies two types of temporal landmarks: social ones, like calendar dates and national holidays, and personal ones, such as birthdays, anniversaries, and job changes. By recognizing and utilizing these landmarks, Pink explains there are numerous potential new beginnings throughout the year.)
