What are some guidelines for how to date a woman? What do women like?
To date a woman, you need to first gauge how much she’s interested in paying attention to nonverbal cues. Then, practice confidence and good listening to create a connection.
Tips for dating women are included below.
How to Date a Woman
Once you have a basic understanding of women’s needs in a relationship, it’s time to focus on how you start a relationship. Learning how to date a woman means paying attention to her nonverbal cues, being confident, and attuning to her.
Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues
First, if you’re interested in a woman, pay attention to her nonverbal cues. Women give subtle signals and cues that, consciously or unconsciously, invite or discourage attention. For example, a woman making extended eye contact, smiling, or orienting her body toward you might be subtly inviting you to approach. On the flip side, a lack of eye contact, closed body language, or a lack of acknowledgment should discourage you from approaching.
(Shortform note: Nonverbal cues aren’t culturally universal. What may be perceived as an invitation in one culture could be considered inappropriate or even aggressive in another. For example, in many Western cultures, direct eye contact is often interpreted as a sign of interest or attentiveness, which matches with the subtle cues inviting an approach in our guide. However, in some Asian and African cultures, prolonged eye contact, especially from a woman to a man, may be regarded as disrespectful or confrontational, thus completely altering the intended message of the signal. As you interpret someone’s nonverbal cues, consider the cultural context to avoid potential miscommunication.)
Be Confident
Women are more attracted to men who exude confidence. The authors of The Man’s Guide to Women explain that confidence isn’t about arrogance or a sense of superiority, but about being comfortable in your own skin. Men who are genuine and authentic tend to be more attractive. A confident man isn’t afraid to take up space, but he also respects others and treats them with kindness. For example, confident men aren’t afraid to be physically affectionate with their friends and say how they feel, knowing that vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness. They are also comfortable making decisions or taking the lead in conversation, without dominating or disregarding the opinions of others.
(Shortform note: It’s hard to exude confidence if you don’t feel confident. According to Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, to develop confidence, you need to start living for yourself instead of seeking validation from others. Glover says you can build confidence by prioritizing your personal needs, embracing vulnerability, and being honest with people. Glover also argues that living with integrity—aligning your actions with your values—will help you become comfortable and confident in who you are.)
Attune to Her
Once you’ve initiated contact, you need to make a woman feel secure. According to the authors, women won’t engage in a relationship unless they trust you with their emotional and physical safety.
To establish this trust with women, the authors explain that you must “attune” to them. Attunement is about being fully emotionally and mentally present and demonstrating a genuine interest in understanding a woman’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Attunement begins with attentive listening—actively paying attention to what the woman is saying without interrupting or forming judgments. Next, empathize with her feelings and try to see things from her perspective. Nonverbal signs of empathy, such as nodding or maintaining eye contact, can enhance this understanding. The third element of attunement is turning toward her, indicating full engagement in the interaction, both physically and emotionally. Lastly, respond with sensitivity and validate her feelings.
For example, if a woman is telling you about a tough day at work, an attuned man might say, “That must have been tough. I understand why you’re upset.” You can emphasize your concern with eye contact or by touching her arm or leg. If she seems like she wants to talk about it more, ask open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What’s your next step?”
| The Importance of Attunement in Creating Secure Attachment Attunement is as important in parent-child relationships as it is in romantic relationships. Attuning to your child will help you develop a strong, secure bond. In the context of parenting, attunement involves responding to a child’s emotional needs in a way that’s sensitive, supportive, and consistent. Studies show attuned parenting practices are linked with better emotional regulation and social competence in children. To attune to your child, practice actively listening to them without distraction, acknowledging their feelings without immediate judgment or dismissal, and engaging with them both physically (through comforting gestures) and verbally (with empathetic responses). For example, when a child is upset, an attuned parent might say, “I see you’re really upset about this. It’s OK to feel that way.” This approach not only validates the child’s feelings but also teaches them to understand and manage their emotions effectively. |
