Do you want to effortlessly keep conversations flowing? How does asking questions spark meaningful dialogues and create lasting connections?
James W. Williams explores how to ask good questions in a conversation through his book, How to Talk to Anyone. The book reveals techniques for crafting questions that encourage others to share their stories and experiences while building genuine connections.
Keep reading for the art of asking questions that transform ordinary exchanges into memorable interactions.
Pose Inquiries That Elicit Good Responses
As part of his advice on how to ask good questions in conversations, Williams advises beginning dialogues with inquiries that prompt others to divulge more intimate information, rather than depending on clichéd and common icebreakers. Instead of asking someone to state their job title, you might invite them to narrate their professional experiences. What led you to pursue that particular career path? These inquiries encourage a reply that goes beyond a simple yes or no, showing a sincere interest in the individual’s distinct life story and experiences.
| Practical Tips • Start a ‘Question of the Day’ practice with your close friends or family. Each day, ask a different question that requires sharing personal experiences or feelings, like “What was a moment today that made you smile?” or “What’s a lesson you’ve learned the hard way?” This routine can strengthen your relationships by encouraging regular, personal sharing. • Create a personal ‘journey map’ to visualize your career path. Draw a timeline of your career and mark key events, decisions, and turning points. Use this visual aid when networking or in interviews to guide the conversation through your experiences rather than just listing positions you’ve held. It can help others see the narrative of your growth and the skills you’ve developed along the way. |
Avoid Yes/No Responses
Williams recommends avoiding inquiries that can be resolved with a simple affirmative or negative response. These actions can suddenly disrupt the continuity of conversation, leading to a tense environment. Pose your inquiries in such a manner that encourages the other individual to elaborate on their perspectives and emotions. He also suggests sharing a relevant anecdote or observation from your own life before turning the question back to them, creating a natural flow and encouraging them to reciprocate.
| Practical Tips • Use a conversation simulation app that allows you to engage with an AI chatbot. Set a goal to only ask open-ended questions and observe how the conversation evolves. This can be a safe space to practice and refine your questioning techniques without the pressure of a real-life social situation. • Experiment with the timing of your questions to observe different reactions. During a group discussion or meeting, instead of immediately asking a question when a topic is introduced, wait until the conversation has progressed and then introduce a simple question that challenges the status quo. For instance, if the group is discussing strategies to improve sales, you might wait and then ask, “How might our sales approach be flawed in understanding our customers’ true needs?” This can shift the direction of the conversation and reveal insights that might not have been considered. • Practice storytelling in low-stakes environments to build confidence. Find opportunities to share personal anecdotes in casual settings, like while chatting with a barista, conversing with a neighbor, or participating in an online forum. These low-pressure situations can be a training ground for refining your storytelling skills without the fear of significant social consequences. |
