This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "Girl, Wash Your Face" by Rachel Hollis. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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Are you looking for Girl, Wash Your Face book club questions? Do you need exercises that can help you better understand the lessons in the book and apply them to your life?
These Girl, Wash Your Face book club questions will help you take the messages from Rachel Hollis’s book and apply them to your own life. While the book shares Hollis’s personal experiences, you can also learn from them.
Keep reading for Girl, Wash Your Face book club questions that relate to the 20 lies we tell ourselves.
Girl, Wash Your Face Book Club Questions
These Girl, Wash Your Face book club questions will take lessons from Rachel Hollis’s book and relate them to your life. They will make you reflect and ask yourself important life questions.
Finding Happiness Where You Are
We easily fall into the trap of thinking something else will make us happy.
- The author thought leaving her small town behind and arriving in Los Angeles would make her happy, but her internal struggles followed her. Have you ever made a change in your life that you thought would solve all your problems? What was the change?
- When you made the change, did your life improve? Were you happy, or did any internal pain or insecurity remain that you were hoping would disappear? Identify the main thing you feel is holding you back from happiness.
- What is an internal change you can take right now to choose happiness instead of chase it?
Stop Breaking Promises to Yourself
What will happen if you keep all the big and small promises you make to yourself?
- The first promise the author made to herself that she vowed to keep was giving up Diet Coke for a month. She focused on this small goal, pushed through, and was successful. Is there something unhealthy in your life you’d like to give up? How about setting the goal of doing without for just 7 days?
- What is a new, positive habit you could use to help you get through the 30 days? (For example, swap sparkling water for wine for a month.)
Put Yourself First
Have you made it onto your priority list?
- Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed with responsibilities, both inside and outside the home? What physical symptoms have you experienced because of stress?
- The author had to learn to work as hard for personal joy as for work. She took a dance class, volunteered, and turned to prayer, among other things. What are some things that you can add to your to-do list that make you a priority?
- What’s a concrete action you can take to add something just for you onto your priority list? Do it now!
It’s Not a Competition
Judging other women hinders friendships.
- Have you ever encountered catty women who judged you? What did they say about you or to you? How did the experience make you feel?
- Think of a time you found yourself judging another woman or group of women. What were you judging them on — behavior, clothing, demeanor? Why do you think you lashed out?
- The next time you feel on the brink of gossiping or judging other women, what can you do to nip your behavior in the bud?
Value Yourself First
A dysfunctional relationship begins the first time you allow your partner to treat you badly. These Girl, Wash Your Face book club questions will help you reflect on relationships and ensure that you are not letting somebody get away with treating you badly.
- Has a romantic partner ever treated you badly on a consistent basis? How long did this pattern continue? Is it still continuing?
- Imagine someone else describing this relationship to you. What would they say? How would they characterize it? Do you like what you’re hearing?
- What are some steps you can take to stop giving someone else permission to treat you badly?
No Just Means Finding Another Way
Don’t give up when you hit a roadblock.
- Think of a time you were told “no” on your way to a goal. Did you give up on that goal? If so, think of an alternative route toward that goal. What’s another direction you can pursue?
- The author recommends having a visual aid to help you keep your eyes on the prize. If you create a vision board to inspire yourself, what images would you put up? Create it now!
Make Sex a Priority
Many roadblocks can get in the way of a healthy sex life.
- The author found herself going through the motions with sex, pretending but not truly enjoying the experience. Have you ever experienced a lack of interest in sex with your partner? What do you think is getting in the way?
- Consider opening up to your partner about what’s working and not working in your sex life. What would you say?
- The author and her husband did an experiment where they had sex every day for a month. Is this something you and your partner might benefit from? Give it a try! If you do, how did it go?
Stop Beating Yourself Up as a Mom
You have to take care of yourself to be the best mom you can be. (If you’re a new mom and you’re reading this summary and doing exercises to get the most out of the experience, you are an amazing human being who is making herself a priority and becoming the best mom you can be. As the author said, you’re already the best kind of parent!)
- Do you ever feel like a failure as a mother? Make a list of all the things going right for your family and all the ways they are doing well.
- Moms can feel anxious, trapped and lonely. What are some easy, low-stress ways to get out of the house and find a support system? Investigate classes and groups in your area and make a plan to join in!
- What evokes “mom joy” in each of us can be different. What evokes your mom joy? How can you focus your energy more on that and less on the things you don’t enjoy as much.
Keep Working Toward Your Goal
Things may not go according to plan, but they can work out as they were meant to.
- Do you beat yourself up about something you haven’t yet achieved — a goal you thought you would have reached by now? What is it?
- Listing what you have accomplished can help you stay positive when a goal is taking a while. What are some things you’ve already accomplished on your way to this goal?
- Big dreams shouldn’t have an expiration date. What are your next steps on your goal-achievement journey?
Seeing the Beauty in a Chaotic Life
Life is messy; cut yourself some slack.
- Think of a time you used an ineffective strategy to combat chaos — ignore, battle, or drown. Which did you turn to, and what was the result?
- Asking for and accepting help is one way to embrace and manage the chaos of life. Do you ever ask for help? Who is an untapped potential source of help in your life — a friend, relative, paid sitter, after-school activity for your child?
- Many women find it difficult to ask for help. Has a friend, neighbor or family member offered their help, but you’ve never taken them up on it? Next time they offer, try accepting a small favor. How does this make you feel?
Stop Making Yourself Small
You can’t be big and small at the same time. These Girl, Wash Your Face book club questions will help you realize that it’s okay to recognize your accomplishments and to be proud of your success.
- Women sometimes downplay their careers to avoid being boastful and not make others uncomfortable. Have you ever made yourself small in order to make someone else feel more comfortable? What did you say or do to minimize yourself in the eyes of others?
- Have you ever turned down a big opportunity because you didn’t feel smart enough or brave enough to handle it? Did you regret this decision?
- The next time you’re given a big opportunity — one that will test and stretch you — how will you handle it? Will you give it a try?
Fantasies Can Be Instrumental in Goal Achievement
Can you daydream your way to success?
- Big goals can feel overwhelming, but broken down into chunks, they seem more manageable. The author focused on being able to buy the purse of her dreams. Think about a big goal you have. What is a smaller, more tangible chunk you can focus on?
- Making a big goal very specific can make it feel more tangible, for example, instead of saying “I’m going back to school,” saying, “I will get a master’s degree at this university.” How can you make your big goal more specific?
- Just for fun, try out one of the cardio fantasies to get through a workout or another tough situation you need to grit your teeth to get through. Did it help?
Stop Reading Your Bad Reviews
Create for the sake of creating.
- The author faces potential criticism when she releases her work. She releases it anyway. Think of a time you held back from releasing something you created out of fear of criticism. What was it? What specific type of criticism did you want to avoid?
- What if you adopted the idea of “creating for the sake of creating” and went ahead and sent your work out into the world. What strategy do you think would most help you ignore the opinions of others?
Drawing Positives From Painful Experiences
Sharing what you’ve been through can help others and bring you greater insight.
- Think of a difficult experience you went through. What is something positive you can pull from the lessons you learned?
- How can sharing the details of your difficult experience help or inspire someone going through a similar experience? Could they benefit from it today?
Stop Taking the Easy Way Out
Fighting through hard times is how you get tougher.
- Do you have an unhealthy crutch you turn to when life gets tough? What is it? How does this crutch hurt you?
- What are some healthier behaviors or solutions you can turn to when the stress of life kicks in?
Only You Have the Power to Change Your Life
Take responsibility for your own success.
- Think of a time you looked outside yourself for a solution to your problem. Looking back, what actions could you have taken yourself to make your life better?
- The author wants women to set a goal, work hard and achieve that goal, knowing that the power is in their hands. What is your goal? Write it down. Commit to achieving that goal now!
- To start on this goal-achievement journey, what’s the first step you can take?
Now that you’ve read and discussed these Girl, Wash Your Face book club questions, try to make changes, however minor, in your life and work towards becoming happier and stronger.
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Like what you just read? Read the rest of the world's best book summary and analysis of Rachel Hollis's "Girl, Wash Your Face" at Shortform .
Here's what you'll find in our full Girl, Wash Your Face summary :
- Why you should accept that life can be messy
- How seeing that you're in control of your life can help you live more joyfully
- The 20 lies you might be telling yourself
