This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "How to Not Die Alone" by Logan Ury. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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When is the right time to move in together? What are some things you should consider before deciding to cohabitate?
Moving in together is a huge milestone in a romantic relationship. You should approach it seriously by carefully evaluating your and your partner’s expectations to ensure you’re on the same page about your relationship.
Here are a few things to consider before moving in together, according to dating coach Logan Ury.
How to Navigate Deciding to Cohabitate
How can you ensure that you actively choose to cohabitate? Ury recommends that you seriously evaluate whether you want to cohabitate. People who move in together pre-marriage are more likely to get divorced, which relationship researchers theorize is because cohabitation makes splitting up harder: When a breakup involves someone moving out, it’s easier to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of your mind that you’re with the wrong person and slide into marriage instead.
(Shortform note: If you already have experience splitting up with a cohabiting partner, you might not have as hard a time breaking up with someone new even if you do live together. One study found that women who lived with a partner but later married someone else were twice as likely to get divorced: Researchers suggest that since these women already had experience breaking up in a cohabitating arrangement, they were more likely to do it again when they faced issues in the current relationship.)
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Here's what you'll find in our full How to Not Die Alone summary:
- A science-backed approach for finding the true love you’ve always wanted
- How your patterns may be sabotaging your quest for true love
- How to effectively navigate the twists and turns of a relationship
