What types of traits do almost all powerful people share? How do you manage failure on your way to gaining power?
Power is key to achieving your goals, improving and prolonging your life, and having a significant impact on the world. Jeffrey Pfeffer says that nearly all powerful people share three crucial traits that help them to build and retain their influence: They’re determined, confident, and charismatic.
Keep reading to learn how to become powerful and strong, in addition to managing conflict on your journey.
1. Powerful People Are Determined
First of all, the author notes that learning how to becoming powerful and strong isn’t easy—it takes hard work, sacrifice, and a relentless desire to achieve your goals. This is because you’ll be in constant competition with the people around you, many of whom also want to build their power and influence.
Therefore, if you’re not fully committed to becoming powerful, you will fail to do so. Whether you’re trying to gain power in politics, the business world, or at your local sports club, you need to have the energy and motivation to overcome obstacles and gain influence among your peers.
| Becoming Powerful Requires Absolute Certainty About Your Goals Felix Dennis gives a similar warning in How to Get Rich, though he specifically talks about pursuing wealth rather than the broader category of “power.” Dennis says that, unless you were born into wealth, the only way to become wealthy is to make money your greatest passion in life—a workaholic mindset that could cost you your relationships and even your health. He also says, if you’re not completely sure that you’re willing to make those sacrifices, it would be better not to try to become rich in the first place. Instead, try to find something you are passionate about, and devote your life to that instead. As Pfeffer says, that’s also the kind of single-minded determination you need to become powerful. So, if you’re not totally sure that power is what you want most, it would be best not to try in the first place, and instead find something that you can truly devote yourself to. |
2. Powerful People Are Confident
Pfeffer says that power and confidence go hand in hand. When a powerful person walks into a room, they exude confidence; conversely, if someone gives off an air of confidence, people will assume they’re powerful.
Therefore, if you wish to become more powerful, you need to appear confident and knowledgeable in front of your peers. In other words, if you act as though you’re already powerful, people will treat you accordingly, and they’ll give you the power that you were only pretending to have.
For example, if you ask a coworker whether they can do a particular task for you, they might say yes or they might say no. However, if you approach that same person with an air of confidence—acting as though you have every right to ask for this favor and that you already expect them to say yes—they’re much more likely to agree to what you’re asking.
(Shortform note: This tactic is often called “acting as if,” and it’s common advice for people who struggle to project confidence. For example, in Goals!, motivational speaker Brian Tracy suggests envisioning the person you want to be and then acting as if you already are that person. One way to start is by finding a role model—someone who’s already acting the way you want to act—and emulating them. Tracy adds that you can get yourself into your role model’s mindset by dressing like them, adopting some of their values (especially regarding work), and, if possible, directly asking them for advice.)
3. Powerful People Are Charismatic
Finally, gaining power requires the ability to understand people and win them over. This is because other people are both the greatest source of power and the biggest potential impediment to it. Pfeffer explains that if you can get people to support you and do what you want, you’ll be much more powerful than you could ever be on your own. Conversely, if you don’t understand other people, you’re likely to find them working against you and undermining your efforts.
Taking this perspective, Pfeffer argues that power is less about objective performance and more about standing out from your peers to impress the higher-ups. Therefore, to move up in an organization, you need to understand the people above you (your superiors) and the people around you (your coworkers): Learn their motivations, their likes and dislikes, and their strengths and weaknesses.
For instance, say you’re trying to get a promotion at work. The better you understand your boss, the more likely you are to know how to impress them and get on their good side. The better you understand your coworkers (your competition for the promotion), the easier it will be to stand out from them—perhaps by demonstrating that you excel at something a rival struggles with, or by convincing a coworker that the new position wouldn’t be a good fit for them.
How to Project Power
Pfeffer claims that aside from gaining power, it’s also vital to appear powerful. You could have the knowledge, resources, and networks necessary to gain power, but if you don’t look or sound the part, you’re unlikely to succeed.
Appearances are important because, in many cases, they’re all that people have to judge you by. When you interview for a job, for example, you need to convince the interviewer that you have the right skills and experience in a relatively short timeframe—they don’t know yet how well you’ll actually do in that position; they only know how you present yourself, and they’ll hire you or not based on that impression.
Pfeffer gives two tips on how to convey power through your speech and behavior:
1) Become a better speaker: Your ability to speak effectively and persuasively has a huge effect on your ability to appear powerful. Whether making a presentation to a large audience or having a one-on-one conversation, the more persuasive you are the more powerful and competent you will appear.
Pfeffer adds that persuasive speech is all about appealing to the emotions of others to get them on your side, and there are many techniques you can use to do so. For example, using “us-versus-them” rhetoric is an effective way to sway people. So if you want to, say, convince your boss to increase your marketing budget, you might persuade them by bringing up how increased marketing could help steal market share from your biggest competitor.
2) Hide negative feelings behind anger: If you wish to appear powerful, it’s much better to get angry than to show “weak” feelings like sadness, disappointment, or guilt, claims Pfeffer. This is because people who express anger when things don’t go their way are more likely to be seen as dominant, competent, and smart, according to social psychologists. Though getting angry may make you seem less friendly to your colleagues, it will confer a higher status. Furthermore, if you get angry rather than sad, people will be less likely to cross you because people don’t want to be the target of your anger.
How to Manage Conflict and Failure
Pfeffer says that on your journey to gain power, there will be conflicts and failures so it’s important to learn how to manage and deal with such obstacles. Because gaining power involves competition among people with conflicting goals and ideals, you need to learn how to deal with conflict effectively. And since no one is perfect, you’re bound to experience setbacks and failures as well, so knowing how to overcome these is also crucial. Let’s look at some of Pfeffer’s advice on managing conflict and failure.
Choose your battles: Though conflict is inevitable, Pfeffer argues that it’s best to avoid it when possible. You don’t want to make too many adversaries along your path to power because you need allies in order to succeed, and having too many people against you will hurt you in the long run.
Therefore, only engage in a conflict if winning it will help you gain substantial power or influence. For instance, fighting with your coworkers over a promotion is probably worth it; fighting them over where to order lunch from is probably not.
Be relentless: When facing competition, the ability to be unrelenting in pursuit of your goals will give you a massive advantage. You’ll eventually wear down less-determined opponents and build a reputation as a formidable person—someone whom it’s better to support than to cross. Furthermore, this kind of determination will help you bounce back from inevitable setbacks and failures.
For example, say you’re on the board of an organization where you and another board member have put forward conflicting plans for the upcoming year. Pfeffer would advise you to relentlessly promote your own plan while pointing out flaws in the other plan, and do so every chance you get (at board meetings, through emails and phone calls, and so on). It’s very likely that your opponent will eventually back down, or that you’ll sway the other board members to your side, ensuring that your own plan gets approved.
Stay on your chosen path: When facing a major setback or failure, Pfeffer says that you shouldn’t let it deter you from moving forward. Sometimes, people are so demoralized by failure that they decide to start over, whether at a different organization or an entirely new line of work.
However, this is usually the wrong move, especially if you’ve gathered a decent amount of experience or power in your current position. Starting over can seem attractive, but it’s better not to throw away what you’ve worked so hard for.
