What are the benefits of appearing more charismatic? How can you better understand people to get what you want?
Gaining power requires the ability to understand people and win them over. This is because other people are both the greatest source of power and the biggest potential impediment to it.
Here’s how to be more charismatic so you can gain power and draw people to you.
Powerful People Are Charismatic
Pfeffer explains that if you learn how to be more charismatic, you’ll be much more powerful than you could ever be on your own. Conversely, if you don’t understand other people, you’re likely to find them working against you and undermining your efforts.
(Shortform note: When you’re building power by trying to win people over, don’t overlook the importance of body language (both theirs and yours). A solid understanding of body language can enable you to pick up on subtle cues about the other person’s thoughts and guide the conversation in the direction you want. For example, if someone has their arms folded, that could mean that they feel uncomfortable or unsafe. You might respond by turning your palms slightly toward them, which is a gesture of openness and vulnerability that could subconsciously put them more at ease.)
Taking this perspective, Pfeffer argues that power is less about objective performance and more about standing out from your peers to impress the higher-ups. Therefore, to move up in an organization, you need to understand the people above you (your superiors) and the people around you (your coworkers): Learn their motivations, their likes and dislikes, and their strengths and weaknesses.
For instance, say you’re trying to get a promotion at work. The better you understand your boss, the more likely you are to know how to impress them and get on their good side. The better you understand your coworkers (your competition for the promotion), the easier it will be to stand out from them—perhaps by demonstrating that you excel at something a rival struggles with, or by convincing a coworker that the new position wouldn’t be a good fit for them.
(Shortform note: Pfeffer urges you to learn about other people just for the purpose of advancing your own goals, but research suggests that people can often tell when you’re faking interest in them, and people in leadership positions are especially good at spotting self-centered workers. Therefore, you’re more likely to succeed if you show genuine concern for your coworkers, your superiors, and the organization. In general, this means taking opportunities to help others or take on extra tasks, even if doing so doesn’t seem likely to benefit you. For example, if a colleague’s car breaks down, you might offer them rides to and from work—that person probably can’t directly help you advance your career or build power, and that’s exactly why helping them shows genuine kindness and concern.)
How to Project Power
Pfeffer claims that aside from gaining power, it’s also vital to appear powerful. You could have the knowledge, resources, and networks necessary to gain power, but if you don’t look or sound the part, you’re unlikely to succeed.
Appearances are important because, in many cases, they’re all that people have to judge you by. When you interview for a job, for example, you need to convince the interviewer that you have the right skills and experience in a relatively short timeframe—they don’t know yet how well you’ll actually do in that position; they only know how you present yourself, and they’ll hire you or not based on that impression.
(Shortform note: Research backs up Pfeffer’s assertion that appearance is vital, particularly when it comes to first impressions. Continuing with the example of interviewing for a job, one survey found that over half of hiring managers decide whether to hire a candidate within the first five minutes of interviewing them, and that those decisions are largely based on body language and attitude rather than job-related skills.)
Pfeffer gives two tips on how to convey power through your speech and behavior:
1) Become a better speaker: Your ability to speak effectively and persuasively has a huge effect on your ability to appear powerful. Whether making a presentation to a large audience or having a one-on-one conversation, the more persuasive you are the more powerful and competent you will appear.
Pfeffer adds that persuasive speech is all about appealing to the emotions of others to get them on your side, and there are many techniques you can use to do so. For example, using “us-versus-them” rhetoric is an effective way to sway people. So if you want to, say, convince your boss to increase your marketing budget, you might persuade them by bringing up how increased marketing could help steal market share from your biggest competitor.
(Shortform note: Appealing to people’s emotions is often more effective than appealing to their reason, and the way the human brain works offers some insight as to why that is. In Behave, neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky explains that the limbic system—which is responsible for emotions—can bypass rational thought in order to generate a faster response to an urgent situation. So, for instance, if you convince someone that a particular person or group is a threat to them, that person’s limbic system will bypass logic to quickly make them angry and ready to fight against that perceived danger.)
2) Hide negative feelings behind anger: If you wish to appear powerful, it’s much better to get angry than to show “weak” feelings like sadness, disappointment, or guilt, claims Pfeffer. This is because people who express anger when things don’t go their way are more likely to be seen as dominant, competent, and smart, according to social psychologists. Though getting angry may make you seem less friendly to your colleagues, it will confer a higher status. Furthermore, if you get angry rather than sad, people will be less likely to cross you because people don’t want to be the target of your anger.
(Shortform note: Psychologists say that anger is a common and natural response to other negative feelings, especially fear. Some theorize that this is because fear comes from a perceived loss of control, and anger drives you to fight so that you can regain that control. However, deliberately covering other emotions with anger like Pfeffer suggests is a common tactic among abusers. In Why Does He Do That?, counselor Lundy Bancroft explains that anger and violence (real or threatened) are methods of intimidation that abusers use to keep their victims compliant. Moreover, Bancroft says these abusers understand exactly what they’re doing—abusers understand that their behavior is harmful to others, but they’re intensely self-centered and simply don’t care.)
